Chapter 22

The following weekend,I’ve had all I can take of the skunky aroma of cheap weed. I’m eager to get away from the dorms and have some peace and quiet at home.

Remy’s truck isn’t here, so I pull my car as close as I can to the back porch.

Home sweet home.

I haul my backpack over my shoulders and drag my five-foot, blob-shaped bag of laundry out of the cargo area. It lands on the grass with a splunk. With some effort, I pick up the bag with both hands and waddle up the porch steps with it.

I fish my keys out of my hoodie pocket and find the one for the back door.

The door swings open before I have a chance to slide the key in.

My gaze lands on Griff.

No, on Griff’s shirtless chest.

The loose track pants slung low on his hips.

What the hell?

He’s been on my mind non-stop since last weekend and here he is standing in front of me like a dream. My greedy eyes gobble him up, cataloging all the familiar things and all the ways he’s changed. He seems broader through the shoulders, taller even. The tight cords of muscle flex in his arms as he stands back to let me inside.

I slick my tongue over my bottom lip.

His hair is longer than when he left, curling slightly at the ends. He’s always worn his hair on the shorter side, but I kind of like it longer. More to run my fingers through.

No.

Not mine.

Never again.

I don’t even believe he cheated on me anymore.

I never should’ve believed it.

Now I feel so guilty I can’t even look him in the eyes.

“Griff? What are you doing here?” I drag my bag of laundry closer, but he slides by me and grabs it out of my hands.

“Uh, I live here now.” He hauls the bag inside, closes the door, and drops the bag at his feet. “Thought you knew that.”

He runs his hot gaze over me, and I back up a few steps. The weight of my backpack throws me off balance and I bump into the counter.

“I guess Remy mentioned it. I just didn’t…” Expect to find you shirtless in my kitchen.

He raises a cocky eyebrow and crosses the kitchen to lean on the opposite counter. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“What are you doing here?” He pours thick white liquid from the blender into a tall cup but still somehow manages to keep his eyes on me.

“It’s my house.”

Ignoring my caustic tone, he flashes a tight smirk. “I thought you lived in the dorms now?”

“I do. But I still like to come home on the weekends.”

He takes a quick sip of his drink, still staring at me. I slide my backpack off my shoulders, setting it on the floor. My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my jeans pocket.

Torch: Are you home yet?

Guilt wraps its fingers around my throat. I can’t answer him now. I shove my phone back in my pocket.

“Don’t worry, princess.” Griff’s voice drips with uncharacteristic sarcasm. “I won’t get in the way if you want to have Torch over.”

If he hadn’t almost choked on Torch’s name, I’d be furious. Instead, embarrassment heats my skin. How’d he know that’s who texted me?

I lift my chin and glare at him. “Don’t worry. We’re supposed to go to the carnival this weekend. If I have him over after, we’ll stay in my room. Wouldn’t want to discourage the ring-bunny fan club I’m sure you’ll be inviting over now that you’re bro-mates with my brother.” I’m shaking so hard, I can’t even take pleasure in the fury lighting up his eyes.

“That’s it.” He slams his cup down, splashing protein shake all over the counter, and closes the distance between us.

I back up, almost tripping over my backpack. My butt bumps into the refrigerator door, rattling the big, old appliance in place.

“You know full fucking well I’d never do that to you.” He stares down at me, almost pinning me to the refrigerator but not quite touching me.

But I feel him everywhere.

No, no, no. Why is he so close? Why does he smell so good? And why isn’t he wearing a shirt?

“I do.” I stare at my sneakers, the only place that seems safe right now. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

He sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Molly, can we please talk? I didn’t?—”

“I know,” I whisper.

“What?” He steps back, giving me space.

Stop being a coward. I lift my gaze and meet his concerned stare. “I watched that episode again.” I haven’t talked about it since last weekend with the girls, but I’d thought about it an awful lot this week.

“God, why?” He plows his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Because. After last weekend…I wanted to see it objectively.” I shrug, trying to figure out what to say. I don’t want to tell him Torch is the one who planted the first seed of doubt. “Or try to. I watched it without the sound on.” I wave my hand around my head. “Without all the other noise polluting everything. I don’t know. I don’t think it was you anymore.”

“Thank God.” He sighs.

“Griff, I should’ve known. I feel terrible?—”

“I don’t want you to feel bad, Molly.”

“But,” I mumble.

“I watched it with your brother when I came home. And it was weird as hell for me to see. I get it. I’m not mad at you,” he adds in a gentler voice.

Why does that make me feel even worse? “You should be.” I didn’t believe you and I destroyed our beautiful car.

“I could never be mad at you.” He holds out his arms to embrace me, as if everything is solved now.

“Okay, so truce,” I suggest, shying away from his hug. “Since you’re living here and I guess we’ll see each other a lot.”

“Yeah, we’re going to see each other a lot.” Pure confusion twists his handsome features, then the realization that we’re not back together slips over his expression. “Wait. You still don’t…I’m home. I’m not leaving. I love you. What’s the problem?”

How can he not see what happened?

“You hurt me! And I know that’s not fair. I know you didn’t mean to.” Burning with frustration, I wave my hands in the air, unable to find the right words. I wasn’t prepared to do this today. “You thought you were helping but you ruined us.”

His jaw drops. “I ruined us?”

He really doesn’t understand? “You made the choice to leave and be on that show. I barely had a chance to understand what it meant before you left. I wasn’t prepared for what happened. It made my life hell, Griff. And you weren’t here.”

“I wasn’t prepared either, Molly.”

“Yeah, but you chose to be a part of it. I didn’t.”

“You, you,” he sputters. “You said you were on board!”

“Because I had no choice!” I lower my voice and force some calm into my words. “I wanted to support you. I didn’t want to be a part of that circus.”

“I didn’t know it was going to go down like that.”

Calm leaves my body in a violent rush. “But you should have!” I explode. “You didn’t look into that company even a little bit before you signed their stupid contract. How could you not see that it would expose our lives to the whole world?”

“I thought?—”

“I know what you thought.” I take a breath and try to speak like a rational human. “But even once you knew what was happening, the lies they were telling, you still didn’t come home. Remy told you what happened. I know you talked to him.” My voice breaks. It still hurts so much that he didn’t just leave. “And you chose to stay.”

“Molly.” His voice roughens with emotion. “I tried. I couldn’t leave without losing everything. I don’t mean the time I wasted on the show or the prize money. They threatened to sue me and keep me going back to court for years if I broke that contract.”

Too choked up to say anything, I shake my head.

“So that’s it?” He sounds so defeated I want to hug him, but instead I move farther away. “You hate me now?”

No matter how mad or hurt I am, I can’t let him think that. I lift my gaze and stare into his sorrowful eyes. “No, of course not.”

“But you don’t love me?”

“I didn’t say that either,” I whisper. “But it’s not enough.”

“What else is there?”

“If you really wanted to come home, you would’ve found a way.” I swallow over a painful lump. “You chose the show over us. Over you and me.”

“It’s not that simple.” His jaw tightens. “I couldn’t pick up and leave without facing real consequences. If you can’t understand that, then maybe you’re too immature to be in a relationship.”

Ouch,calling me immature pokes at every single one of my insecurities about us as a couple.

“Maybe you’re right.” I lift my chin and try to hide how much that comment hurt. “But staying had consequences too.” I suck in a sharp, painful breath. “You lost me.”