Chapter 20

I’mup and getting ready to leave for Hayden’s early the next morning. If Griff decides to drop by our house like he used to do on the weekends, I’d rather not be around.

Downstairs, Remy’s lacing up his sneakers, getting ready to go on his morning run. He tilts his head my way. “What’re you doing up so early?”

“Going to hang with the girls at Hayden’s before everyone leaves.” It’s rare we’re all home at the same time. I should’ve stayed at Hayden’s last night. Then I could’ve avoided running into Griff again.

Remy nods at the television. “Did you give that any more thought?”

He doesn’t have to specify what that he’s talking about.

A mix of anxiety, confusion, and guilt bubbles in my chest. “Why?”

“Because I care about you.” He stands and rests his hands on his hips. “And I should warn you, I asked Griff to move in. He’s probably going to take over the basement.”

“Ew, you’d make him live in your sex cave?”

His jaw drops. “What are you talking about?”

“You think I don’t know that’s where all the ding-dongs you bring home sneak out of in the mornings?”

At least he has the decency to blush. “It’s not a ‘sex cave.’ Grandpa and I fixed it up when I moved in with him and Nana. So I’d have my own space.” He frowns for a second. “Or maybe so I wouldn’t hear them in their room,” he says slowly as if this is the first time that possibility has occurred to him. “They were always kinda frisky.”

“Ew! Remy!”

He shakes his head quickly. “I only moved upstairs when Grandpa was sick, so I could hear him if he needed me.”

Picturing them alone in this house together, with Remy taking care of our grandparents all by himself hurts. My eyes burn. The little bit I did help Remy doesn’t seem like nearly enough.

“Anyway, it’s not a sex cave, you little smartass.”

“Whatever,” I say. It stings that Remy would ask Griff to move in after what happened. Almost like he’s taking his friend’s “side” over his own sister. But that’s unfair, so I shove the feeling away. “Just give me a heads-up if he actually does.”

Remy’s forehead wrinkles with concern. “You won’t stop coming home, will you?”

I hesitate for a few seconds. Stay on campus instead of coming home just because I might run into Griff? “No.”

He still seems uncertain but since I’m miffed about the new possible housing arrangement, I don’t offer him any more reassurances.

“I…” Remy holds up his hands. “He came back really fucked up, Molly. Juliet, Vapor, and I took turns checking on him the first few days. I drove him to his doctors’ appointments.” He hesitates. “He looked so bad, I was legit worried he might drop dead.”

A hot poker of fear jabs me in the ribs. “He was that bad?”

Remy nods. “He’s been banged up at The Castle plenty of times. But this…this was like the ref was looking the other way or something.” He shrugs. “That’s why I asked him to move in.”

Great, now I can’t even be mad at my brother. “Then why the hell was he at Zips last night?”

“To see you.”

Instead, he saw me with Torch.“Oh.” I frown. “You should’ve warned me.”

“I didn’t know Torch was going with you.”

“He’s always at Zips.” I can’t keep the exasperation out of my voice. “We planned our costumes together.”

“Yeah. I’m sure his wolf mask from the Dollar Tree took lots of planning.” Remy’s voice drips with sarcasm.

“Because your Ghostface mask was so original?”

One corner of his mouth lifts. “It served its purpose.”

“Ugh. I don’t even want to know.”

He chuckles. “You want to go for a run with me?”

“The only way I’m running is if I’m being chased by a herd of flesh-eating zombies.”

“By then it’ll be too late,” he teases. “You won’t have the stamina to outrun the zombies.”

Despite myself, I end up laughing.

* * *

Guiltand a few other complicated emotions snake their way through my chest as I drive over to Hayden’s house. Maybe I’ll stay with her tonight and go back to campus early tomorrow. Then I can avoid Griff and my brother.

Hayden’s driveway is packed. I must not be the only one who couldn’t sleep. Or some of the girls are leaving early for their longer drives back to campus.

Hayden answers the door in bright-pink, satin pajamas with her hair still coiled around one long, pink silk-covered foam roller draped over the top of her head like a crown.

“Morning, Goldilocks.” I tap one end of the long curler. “This is a cute look.”

“Ugh, Jenn said I can’t take it out yet. Come in.” She stands back and holds the door wide. “It’s freezing out.”

I hustle inside and close the door behind me.

“We’re in the kitchen. Kyla’s making blueberry pancakes,” Hayden calls over her shoulder.

“Ooo, I got here just in time.” A sweet, sharp scent stings my nose as we close in on the kitchen. Is Kyla making pancakes or burning them?

“Hey, Mollllleee,” Darcy sings as soon as I step into the kitchen. “Where’d you disappear to last night?”

“We saw you talking to Griff,” Kyla says without looking away from the stove. “How’d that go?”

“No comment.” I pull one of the stools at the long counter out and pop my butt on it.

Hayden squeezes onto the stool next to me. “Come on,” she pleads. “You wouldn’t talk about him all summer. Did you unleash your fury on him? Turn him to actual stone with the power of your eyes?”

“I wish.” I heave out a deep, annoyed breath.

“Was he mad you were there with Torch?” Kyla asks with wide eyes and a devious smile. “That was seriously the best revenge.”

Revenge?Whatever it was, it didn’t feel good.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just fuck Torch to get Griff out of your system?” Hayden suggests as if it’s nothing more than sticking my feet into a new pair of shoes. “He’s obviously up for it.”

“I can’t do that.” I wrinkle my nose.

Darcy leans her elbows on the counter. “I thought you liked him?”

“I do.” I shrug and shift my gaze to the kitchen window where morning light seeps in through the edges of the blinds. Maybe I should’ve stayed home and risked running into Griff. “He’s nice to look at. And he’s been really sweet. But I don’t feel that…” I circle my hand over my heart, unsure of how to express the lack of something more.

“He’s not Griff?” Kyla lifts an eyebrow.

“Yes…but it’s more than that.”

“Aww, we have ourselves a little demisexual in our group.” Hayden claps her hands together and nudges me with her elbow.

“Look at you, learning big words in college.” Kyla leans over the counter and slow claps in front of Hayden’s face. “So proud of you, blondie.”

I frown at both of them. “What?”

“You need more of an emotional bond before you want to sleep with someone?” Jenn asks with more tact than her cousin.

“I guess.” I shrug. “Doesn’t everyone?”

“Nope.” Darcy waves a spatula in front of her nether region. “I’m open for business to anyone who lights my fire.”

“I wouldn’t run around announcing that,” Kyla mutters.

“I think that just means you’re slutty,” Hayden adds.

Jenn flicks her gaze to the ceiling.

I kick my foot out and poke Hayden’s shin with my socked toes. “Don’t be gross.”

“Especially since she’s just as sluuuuttty as I am.” Darcy runs around the counter and taps Hayden’s butt with the spatula.

Hayden reaches behind her and yanks the spatula out of Darcy’s hand. “Am not.”

“Anyway,” Darcy says, returning to the stove to push Kyla out of the way, “we were talking about Molly and Torch going down to fuck town.”

I blink, not sure how I feel about discussing this. “We’re not going anywhere,” I mutter.

“You need to do stuff with more guys than just Griff,” Hayden says.

“I’ve done…stuff.” I sigh and tap my nails on the counter. “It was just so underwhelming I didn’t want to do more.”

“I take it everything about Griff is overwhelming.” Darcy slaps her hand over her mouth, smothering a loud snort-giggle.

I flick my gaze to the ceiling and don’t bother answering. But heat creeps over my cheeks. Overwhelming in all the best ways.

“Hey.” Kyla reaches over and taps my hand. “So, you went off with Griff for a while. What’d he have to say?”

All the complicated emotions I’ve been carrying around since last night tighten into a knot of pain in my chest. Unable to form any words, I shake my head.

“Aw, Molly.” Kyla circles the counter and wraps her arms around me. “It’s okay. Maybe talking about it will help.”

“Come on,” Hayden prods. “What’d he say?”

“He said the same thing Remy tried to tell me,” I finally whisper. “That he didn’t?—”

“But we all saw it!” Darcy shouts, waving a different spatula in the air.

I sniffle and nod. “I know.” I take several deep breaths. “Torch even suggested maybe the show set up Griff?” My voice is tentative, almost like I’m testing the theory out on my friends to see if they’ll say I’m crazy for believing that.

Hayden’s eyes widen and she sits back. “He said what?”

My shoulders lift slightly, and Kyla releases me, backing away. I reach out and squeeze her hand to let her know I wasn’t shrugging her off.

“I retract my earlier statement,” Hayden says. “You should not bang Torch.”

A sad chuckle eases out of me. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” I suck in a deep breath. “But I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. I mean, of all the people in the world, he has the most reason to want me to keep thinking Griff cheated.”

“True.” Hayden tilts her head to the side. “Damn. Okay. He gets some decent guy points for that.”

The attention’s thankfully taken off of me for a few minutes while Kyla and Darcy set a plate with a huge stack of pancakes on the counter in front of Hayden and me. Jenn leaves her perch by the kitchen table and passes plates out to everyone.

Hayden pokes at one of the pancakes with a fork and wrinkles her nose.

“Just eat around the burned bits.” Kyla flings the top two pancakes onto Hayden’s plate.

Chuckling, I jab my fork into the next pancake and drag it onto my plate. “They look fine.”

“You can have the syrup first,” Kyla says, passing the big, tan jug to me while giving Hayden a stink-eye.

“You and Darcy should’ve gone first since you made the pancakes.” I quickly drizzle maple syrup on my pancake and push the jug into the middle of the counter.

I scrape a piece of pancake from the top layer, careful to avoid the thick, charred bottom and stick it in my mouth. Sweet, warm blueberries and cinnamon bursts over my tongue. “Mmm, they’re good,” I say around my mouthful.

Kyla sticks her tongue out at Hayden.

Before they can get into it again, I take a sip of water and announce, “So I couldn’t stop thinking about what Torch said and I ended up watching that episode again last night.”

Everyone stops eating and stares at me.

“Molly, no!” Kyla gasps and slaps her hands over her mouth, like I just announced I murdered a baby bunny. “Why?”

I trace my fork in a wavy pattern through the maple syrup on my plate, then stab a stray blueberry. “I don’t know. Remy believes him too.”

Darcy announces, “Bros before?—”

“He’s literally her bro.” Hayden glares at Darcy, then nods at me. “Go on.”

“They’re all being weird about it or at least weird around me about it, but I think Eraser and Ella believe him too.” I flick my gaze at Hayden. “And you remember how pissed they were that night.”

Hayden shrugs. “But they’ve all been friends a long time. He didn’t cheat on them. He cheated on you.”

“Allegedly!” Kyla announces.

“There’s nothing alleged about it,” Darcy counters, holding her curled hands up to her eyes like a pair of binoculars. “We saw it.”

“Nope. No way.” Kyla shakes her head violently. “We all saw Griff on prom night. He never took his eyes off Molly. And he was so sweet to us, even though we barged into their room. I refuse to believe he did that to her.”

I stare at her in wide-eyed shock. Kyla spent a good portion of the summer consoling me, but she never voiced any of this. Now that I’ve given her an opening, apparently, she’s airing out all her doubts.

She crosses her arms over her chest and continues, “Besides, I don’t trust any of those so-called ‘reality’ shows. You remember that stupid one we watched with the washed-up rock star who was supposedly looking for love? That dude was in a whole-ass relationship with his baby momma the entire time. Both seasons!”

“Oh yeah!” Darcy’s eyes widen. “How embarrassing for his family.”

“That happened on Matchmaker Mansion too.” Jenn snaps her fingers. “One of the women trying to date the bachelor was actually married to a woman.”

“What season?” Hayden pushes her plate away, picks up her phone, and starts swiping her fingers across the screen.

Jenn shrugs and stabs her fork through three layers of pancakes. “I don’t remember.”

“Don’t they make them sign agreements not to talk about the show and stuff?” Darcy asks. “How do you know if that’s even true?”

“Technically, it wasn’t talking about the show, if other people came forward and said, ‘hey I attended that chick’s wedding last year, why is she on a dating show now?’ Right?” Jenn lifts her eyebrows for emphasis.

“Okay, fair.” Darcy nods.

All of this is giving me a headache. I wish I’d never opened my mouth at all. In fact, if I’m wishing for things, I wish I’d never gone to Zips last night. No one—except Griff—understood my stupid devil bunny costume. Everyone else thought I was some weird dominatrix with a bunny fetish. Forget the costume. Seeing Griff again after so much time had flipped my heart upside down.

“Well, Griff wasn’t supposed to be on a dating show at all,” I remind them. “It was supposed to be aboutbecoming the best cage fighter.”

“Hey, remember Redneck Roadhouse?” Kyla says with an eager edge to her voice. “The one your friend Shelby Morgan was on?—”

“She’s not my friend,” I correct. Friend. I wish. I’ve gotten to talk to Shelby once and I made a total ass of myself. “Remy knows her fiancé.”

“Yeah,” Darcy says slowly, her eyes widening as she comes to a realization about something. “Shelby ended up in the middle of a love triangle with Ruby what’s-her-tits and that other guy while she was on that show.”

“No,” Kyla says. “Shelby did an interview not that long ago and said that was all fake.”

“Right! The show said they were going to sue her and then—” Darcy snaps her fingers and lowers her voice. “Dawson Roads told ‘em go ahead and try it,” she finishes in a terrible impression of the famous country singer’s Tennessee accent.

“Why would he care?” Hayden asks. “Isn’t he like eighty?”

Darcy shakes her head. “He’s like thirty something.”

Hayden shrugs. “Old dudes don’t interest me.”

“Shelby’s on his record label now,” Kyla answers, ignoring them. “Told them he had better lawyers.”

“Who knew you cared this much about country music,” Hayden mutters while scrolling through her phone.

“I read everything Sippin’ on Secrets posts about everyone.” Kyla lifts her chin, not embarrassed.

“Please, she stalks their IG so much, they blocked her.” Darcy giggles and shoves Kyla.

“They did not.”

“How is any of this helpful?” I ask, poking my fork into my pancake.

“Ah-ha!” Hayden lifts her hand in the air to get our attention even though we’re all less than three feet away from her. “That Sidespeed Salmon Productions or whatever company that produced Griff’s show, also produced Matchmaker Mansion. I knew I’d seen that big tacky house before. It was decorated totally different inside but the pool, two gyms, the sauna, it all looked familiar.”

“No way.” Darcy grabs Hayden’s phone and stares at the screen.

“So what?” I swivel on the stool and cross my arms over my chest. “Who cares?”

“They’re devious. They’ve been sued a bunch of times by former contestants.” Hayden holds out her phone to me, but I shake my head.

Who gives a pickle about lawsuits? “Are there more pancakes?” I ask Kyla, lifting my chin at the stove.

“Wait.” Jenn holds up both hands. “Molly, you said you watched the show again. What do you think?”

“Nothing.” I shrug. “I’m probably just…seeing what I want to see.”

Hayden’s busy on her phone again.

“Molly. You are killing me.” Kyla wraps one of her hands around her throat. “Killing. Me.”

“Knock it off, drama queen.” I grab my plate and hold it out to her. “And give me another pancake.”

She shakes with laughter as she returns to the stove and slides her spatula under a fresh pancake—with no burned bits.

After she sets it on my plate, I say, “Remember the first episode where they made fun of Griff for putting the picture of us on his nightstand?”

Kyla rolls her eyes. “Yeah.”

“I don’t know if they were making fun of it,” Darcy argues. “I thought it was more like they were highlighting how genuine and wholesome Griff is…er, was.”

I let out a sad snort-laugh. “Sure, whatever. Anyway.” I circle my hand in front of my chest as if that will help unroll the words from my mouth. “When I watched that part again…” I swallow down the sourness crawling up my throat. “I noticed the picture isn’t on the nightstand.”

Kyla’s eyes widen. “Noooo. Really? How’d we miss that?”

“Because we were all staring at the couple in the bed?” Darcy swivels her hips in a circle. “Making it rain in fuck town.”

She’s so ridiculous, a giggle-snort bursts out of me.

“And listening to the announcer guy,” Hayden adds. “She’s right, look.” Hayden holds out her phone to Darcy, then Kyla.

The girls all crowd around Hayden to squint at her phone. I stay right where I am. I’ve studied the footage on a much bigger screen and still don’t know what to think. Of course I want to believe he didn’t cheat on me. But I don’t want to be the oblivious girl who follows her heart and ignores her brain.

“He could’ve just put it away out of guilt,” Darcy suggests.

A few folks on Reddit would agree.

“Maybe,” Hayden mutters, staring at the screen. “Damn, we need like a computer forensics team to clean up this footage for us.”

Something about that is so absurd, uncontrollable laughter bursts out of me.

“You know, the fact that the film quality is so bad and that they never really showed Griff and Kiki together again, points to it not being true,” Jenn says.

“Are you sure you want to go to school for cosmetology?” Hayden pats her cousin’s head. “You sound like a defense lawyer.”

“Wait.” I focus my attention on Jenn. “Back up. You kept watching the show too?” I shoot a dirty look at Darcy who gave me weekly updates right until I left for college.

“Hell yeah we did,” Darcy says. “That guy Woolly is hot as fuck.”

“I’d let him ground and pound me any day.” Hayden lets out a shrill whistle and claps her hands.

“Traitors.” I cross my arms over my chest again.

“I did not partake in any more viewings,” Kyla says, slipping an arm around my waist.

“Thanks.” I rest my head on her shoulder.

“Well, Griff made it to the end,” Darcy says.

“Obviously, since he just got home,” I mutter.

“Yeah, but they haven’t shown the last episode yet,” Darcy says. “Rumor is someone got injured.”

Griff had looked pretty bad last night once I really took him in.

Nope. I don’t care if he won the show or not. If I never hear about Supreme Underground Fighter ever again, it’ll be way too soon.