Chapter Four: Willow

We’ve been going in circles for an hour now. I don’t know what made me think Vaughn would agree to allow me to escort our star catcher to spring training, but after witnessing Bishop tear apart the locker room and seeing the way his brown eyes no longer held any hint of hope, I knew I had to try to help.I’ve been silently berating myself ever since for not doing something sooner.

At the memorials, I avoided him because my heart wasn’t ready to face him. Or maybe it was that I didn’t want to accept what I noticed even then. The man who carved a piece of my heart out was no longer the man I remembered.

Seeing him again only confirms that”s still true.

Vaughn slams his water down on the desk that used to belong to my father and stalks—more like waddles—toward the bar cart in the corner. Never mind that it’s eleven in the morning or that he’s pouring two fingers’ worth of my father’s expensive whiskey—the one he knows is saved for special occasions. I”m still unsure how it’s possible my father considered this inconsiderate prick his best friend. I remember him being a jolly guy with a kind smile. Kinda like Santa—which checked out considering he sort of looked like him—but unlike the jolly Christmas icon, Vaughn doesn’t like anyone. Especially me. My father always insisted he was a shark in the boardroom, but I’ve never seen that side of him. To him I’ve always been more of an annoyance—the offspring my father let freely roam the concourse.

Just like all of us, the crash changed Vaughn, and clearly not for the better.

His brows pinch together as he sips the smooth amber liquid and lets out a curt snort. “I don’t care if he’s God”s gift to baseball. This team doesn’t revolve around Bishop Lawson. He doesn’t get special treatment. As it is, he missed the draft. I should release him based on that alone.”

I wince. That was my fault. I shouldn’t have let Bishop out of my sight after trashing the locker room, but I needed space. Being near him sucks the air from my lungs, making it hard to breathe.

I can’t tell Vaughn that, though.

My gaze doesn’t waver. “I don’t need your permission.”

“You’re right. You don’t. But it is my job to keep you in line and not let you destroy everything your father built.”

Rage bubbles in my chest, but I stifle it down with a steadying breath. I hate that he thinks he has to keep me in line when I’ve done everything they’ve asked of me. Now I’m asking for one exemption and I’m the one destroying my father’s legacy. Vaughn knows damn well I would never jeopardize that. It’s why he still has a job. But this is something I’m not prepared to back down on.

“What’s the harm?” I press, changing my tactic to one built on logic. “Bishop’s a liability if we allow him to drive. This way he’s delivered to spring training without any issues, and hopefully he’ll be happier when he shows up the next day.”

It’s wishful thinking and we both know it. One plane ride isn’t going to fix Bishop. Especially with me, but Vaughn doesn’t need to know that.

“Your problem is you think I give a shit what Bishop wants. He’s been a thorn in my side since the crash. One fuck up after another and now he’s trashed our clubhouse.” Vaughn shakes his head and his nose wrinkles. “Not only that, but he did so when there was a room full of reporters just waiting for a story to unfold. He handed it to them. Now no one gives a shit about the fact we just made history. Instead, all they care about is our fuck up catcher and his latest antics. When are you going to see, you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves?”

That’s the thing. Bishop does. I saw it in his eyes. He’s lost, but that’s not a sin. I’ve been where he is. I know the way out. Isolating him from the only constant—the only thing he’s ever truly loved—is not the answer.

“This team needs him.”

“He’s out of control. I’d sooner trade him than risk putting him on the field.”

“You can’t.”

“That”s where you’re wrong, Willow. I’m the GM. That’s literally in my job description. You might be new to this business, but your father trusted me to do this. You need to learn your place in this organization.”

His words cut exactly where they’re meant to, and I will the tears prickling the corners of my eyes to steer clear of falling. It’s on the tip of my tongue to fire him right then and there. I’d be well within my right to do so, but that wouldn’t come without repercussions of its own. I’m already on thin ice when it comes to public opinion. The world doesn’t think I can do what my dad did because I wear a skirt and paint my lips red. If I were any man, I’d instantly be the hero rebuilding an empire, but because I’ve got a X chromosome, both the MLB and the greater public believe I couldn’t possibly do a better job than the man in front of me.

So, I keep Vaughn around. What’s the thing they say—better the enemy you know. Anyone else would have thrown me to the wolves. At least Vaughn pretends to placate me out of whatever remaining loyalty he has to my father.

I straighten my shoulders and latch onto the promise I made to honor my father. “Bishop isn’t going anywhere.”

Vaughn’s lips twitch upward, and I swear he’s holding back a smile. “Then he’s your problem.”

“What does that mean?”

“If you want him so bad, then you keep him in line. But know this is the final courtesy I’ll be granting you. We agreed to re-evaluate after spring training, but that’s no longer good enough. One more fuck up from Bishop, and he’s gone. I’m done making excuses for him. We’re on the verge of doing something historic, and I won’t let him or you ruin this team.”

I open and close my fists in my lap, registering his words for the threat they are. An ultimatum. When I finally find the strength to speak, my words are soft, and to my detriment, convey my utter devastation. “My father believed the Renegades were a family. Family doesn’t leave family behind.”

“That was your father’s biggest mistake. This isn’t a family. It’s a business, and the sooner you understand that, the better. Bishop Lawson is deadweight that needs to be purged.” Vaughn picks up his glass and makes like he’s taking a drink, but mutters under his breath, “I still don’t understand why he left you the organization. He should’ve left it to me like he always planned to do.”

I blink. Once. Twice. Three times, trying to make sense of what he just said.

“I take it by the look on your face you didn’t know. He changed his will a year ago, after the gala you held on New Year’s. Something about you coming into your own. He believed you would be the best person to grow the Renegades if something were to happen to him. I didn’t know he’d changed the will until the news broke after the crash. Otherwise, I would have tried to change his mind.”

“He…” I struggle to find my voice. “No one told me.”

Vaughn scoffs, his lips twisted in disgust. “Why would they?”

“I just…I’m sorry, Vaughn. I didn’t know.” The last thing I should be doing is apologizing to this man. He’s been a pain in my ass since the moment I took over, but that doesn’t negate that he lost something he held dear. If there’s anyone who understands losing the future you planned, it’s me.

“Are you—” A sardonic laugh fills the space between us, undermining my sincerity. “You’re sorry. Geez, Willow, you’re even softer than your father. You don’t need to apologize to me. You need to figure out how to not suffer from the same delusional affliction as your father and stop acting like the pampered princess he raised you to be. If you don”t, there won’t be a team left to run.”

My jaw clenches as rage floods my veins. “It’s not a weakness to help people.”

“No, but at what expense? As it is, you”ve already tethered us to a manager who will have to do everything to prove he’s not cheating our way to the top. Now there’s this shit with Lawson.”

Grinding my molars, I try my best to keep calm. “Graham was acquitted of all charges.”

“But his name has never been the same since. He’ll always be associated with throwing a World Series game.”

I hate that he’s right. My godfather didn’t participate in the sign stealing, but he knew about it and said nothing. Still, hiring him is something I will defend till my dying breath. It’s what my father would have done. He would always say this team is more than rumors and statistics—it’s the fire inside each player. Another sentiment I’m sure Vaughn hates. Graham might not have a clean record in the MLB, but in his coaching career at many of the nation’s top colleges he’s shown he has the ability to inspire his players. Which was backed up when I called each of them, along with his previous teammates, in order to vet him.

My gut, along with their glowing reviews, tells me we need him. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. At least off the diamond. Once he steps through the doors of the clubhouse, he’s ruthless. Which is also something this team will need.

Just like we need Bishop. He’s the heart of the Renegades—he always has been—even if he doesn’t want to be just yet.

“I can see you wanting to deny it. If only you had that passion for the things that actually mattered.” Vaughn shakes his head and runs his stubby fingers through his thin gray hair. “As I said. One more fuck up and he’s gone.”

Vaughn tips back his glass and downs the rest of its contents before walking over and setting the dirty glass on the center of my father’s desk.

My desk.

“I’ll keep Bishop in line,” I vow.

Vaughn”s laugh shreds my promise. “It’s no sweat off my back if you don’t.”

He turns around and makes a swift exit, leaving me with a weight on my chest. My heart thunders against my rib cage, sharp pricks burning my eyes as I blink back the tears that always seem to pool, but I never allow to fall. Not since that day at the courthouse.

This isn’t how I imagined my life.

I should be running my foundation, making a difference in the lives of children who have lost one or both parents, not grieving the loss of my own. I should be gearing up for spring classes at the new center in the Bronx and planning my trip to spring training to spend my birthday with Dad at the beach house. Summer would come and I’d split my time between the city and Camp Renegade Hearts upstate, because even though I’m the president and CEO of the foundation, I live to see the smiles on the faces of our campers. It’s the only time I get to spend with my best friends, Indie and Leigh, completely uninterrupted.

Instead, I’m standing here, the epitome of fake it till you make it, wondering how the hell I’m not only going to eat, sleep, and breathe baseball for the next ten months, but also keep Bishop from ruining what he has left of his career. Especially with Vaughn breathing down both our necks.

A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts and Graham pokes his head in.

“You got a minute?”

I swallow hard and nod. Picking up a pen from my desk, I twirl it absentmindedly in an attempt to convince both Graham and myself I’m not dangling on the edge of a cliff.

“You doing okay? I saw Vaughn as I was walking up the hallway.He looked a little too smug for my liking.”

“I’m hanging in there.” I offer him a weak smile, to which Graham rewards with a pointed look as he crosses my office and plops down in one of the winged back chairs my father favored.

Nothing gets by him.

“He’s out for blood over Bishop.”

My godfather cocks a brow, and his lips twist into a mischievous smile. “Do I want to know why you are going to these lengths for Lawson? He might be the best damn catcher in this league, but we both know this is more than any other owner would do.”

I consider his words. It would be easy to say I’m motivated by our past—and there is a part of me that absolutely is—but it’s more than that. Working with the kids at Renegade Hearts has taught me that sometimes all a person needs is to believe there is someone in their corner. And what are adults if not grown children? Somewhere along the line we just forget how to believe in each other. I believe in this team, and that includes Bishop.

Now I just need to convince Graham that’s all it is.

“It’s what my father would do. He always said the team comes first, the money comes second.”

My uncle cracks a smile. “Ah, it makes sense then.”

“What’s that?”

Graham chuckles. “Why he left you the team and not Vaughn.”

“You knew.”

His lips pull together in a grim line as he nods, and I know he’s remembering his best friend. It’s the same expression I wear when I’m alone most days.

“Wills, he was so damn proud of you.”

My eyes fall to the desk as I choke past the knot in my throat, once again fighting against the tears and heartache that so often threaten to overtake me. If there’s anyone I should be able to fall apart with, it’s Graham, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Some have called me callous or coldhearted, but if I let myself come undone, I’m not sure I’ll be able to put myself back together.

My fingers fist the pen in my hand, desperate to hold on to his sentiment.“I don’t want to fail him.”

“You couldn’t if you tried.”

I wonder if he’d feel the same if he knew about my feelings for Bishop. Would he still believe in me?

“Thank you,” I mutter, hoping he doesn’t register the guilt dripping from my voice.

“Always, munchkin.”

I roll my eyes. “Now none of that. I’m still your boss.”

“And I’ll follow where you lead.” Graham gets up, rounds the desk, and presses a kiss to my forehead. “But you’ve got to get Bishop’s head out of his ass.”

“I’m working on it.”

“Good. I’ll see you down at training then?”

“Yup.”

Graham heads for the door, and I shuffle the papers on my desk, trying to make myself look busy. Like I’m not going to sink into my chair the minute he leaves and contemplate every decision I’ve made over the last twenty-four hours.

“And, Wills?”

I look up to see Graham leaning against the doorjamb. “Yeah?”

“Don’t work so hard.”

“I’ll try,” I say, giving him a halfhearted smile.

Once he”s gone, I slide back into the giant chair that made sense for my father but dwarfs my five-foot three frame, a mess of warring emotions.

It’s been a fucking day—one I would sooner forget—but on the bright side, I officially have my team. The men who are going to take the field in black and orange and play a game that brings so many people together.

It’s both exciting and terrifying, and I’m not sure if I want to spin in circles or throw up. Mostly I don’t know how I’m going to do this—preserve my father’s legacy, rebuild a team and babysit my ex situationship so he doesn’t throw away the career he loves.

No pressure.