Chapter One

~ Gianni ~

"You're pregnant."

I spit the vile tasting liquid in my mouth into the toilet and then took the washcloth my brother-in-law Henry was holding out to me. I quickly wiped my mouth and then pushed myself to my feet, staggering a few steps until I righted myself by holding onto the wall.

"Don't be ridiculous." My eyes darted away as I formed the lie my brain was telling me to say. I couldn't admit the truth to the man when I refused to believe it myself. "I just ate something that didn't agree with me."

It had been disagreeing with me for weeks.

"Gianni—"

"I am not pregnant!"

I couldn't be pregnant. I just couldn't be. Being pregnant implied that I'd had sexual relations with someone and I very firmly do not remember even having a date in the last two years, let alone having sex with someone.

I was not Mother Mary and this was not Immaculate Conception or an alien abduction, which meant I was not pregnant, even if all the signs—including the ten different pregnancy tests I'd taken—said otherwise.

This wasn't happening to me. My whole life would be derailed. The whole basis of my research would be debunked. How was I supposed to prove that omegas had choices when I got myself knocked up?

And who in the hell had I slept with?

That might be the biggest nagging question. I literally did not remember having sex with anyone in the last two years. And if I had, I would hope that I would remember.

Could the sex have been so bad that I blanked it out?

I tried to remember who had attended that damn party. Considering that was the only blank space in my memory, I had to believe that something had happened then. If I could remember who attended maybe I could question them about who I couldn't remember.

I pressed a hand to my stomach as it began to swirl. Assuming I had slept with someone—I wasn't ready to admit that yet—I had to assume it was a one-night stand or I would have heard from this mysterious person by now.

"Hey, look," Henry said. "I know this can be scary, but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing."

"You don't understand, Henry."

I didn't even understand.

Henry's voice was gentle when he asked, "What don't I understand?"

"I don't remember sleeping with anyone." At least if I remembered, it might explain my current condition. I'd know why and how I ended up this way. It was hell not knowing.

"You don't remember having sex?"

"Ugh," I groaned as I dropped my head back and stared up at the ceiling. "As far as I know, I haven't had sex in nearly two years, so this is something of a surprise for me."

Major understatement right there.

"Bloody hell, Gianni, were you raped?"

I gasped at the implication, and then quickly turned and puked into the toilet again. My thoughts had never even gone in that direction, but now it was all I could think about.

Had I been raped?

After wiping my mouth again, I sat down and leaned back against the wall. Henry flushed the toilet before getting me a glass of water so I could rinse my mouth.

Henry knelt down in front of me, a wan smile crossing his lips. "It's just you and me here right now, okay? And whatever you share with me will stay between us unless you give me permission to say something."

I gave a small nod.

"Can you tell me what happened or what you remember?"

"That's just it," I replied. "I don't remember anything. I went to an afterhour's party hosted by one of the medical residents I work with. We'd all just gotten off two weeks of hell and wanted to cut loose a little."

"And what happened while you were there?"

"I remember coming home after rounds at the hospital and changing into some casual clothes. I remember going to the party and accepting a drink from someone. I don't remember much after that."

The entire night was still a complete blank for me.

"Were there signs that you had been raped or had sex?"

My brows drew together as I tried to remember waking up the next day. "I had one hell of a hangover and I kind of felt like road kill, but I didn't have any bruises or anything."

"That's a good sign," Henry said.

"How so?" I asked, because I didn't see it.

"People who force themselves on other people don't tend to care how they treat the person they are assaulting. If you didn't have any bruises or signs of rape, you might not have been raped."

I didn't think it worked that way.

"Just because I didn't have any signs of rape didn't mean it didn't happen, Henry." I was a little pissed that he would think that. "If I wasn't in my right mind then I could not have agreed to have sex with someone, and since I don't remember a single second of that encounter, well..."

Pretty sure the facts spoke for themselves.

"No, no, you're right, of course. I didn't mean to say otherwise. I just wondered if maybe you got drunk at the party and slept with someone willingly, even if you don't remember it."

I sighed and let my head clunk back against the wall again. "Anything is possible, I suppose."

I groaned as I buried my head in my hands. There was no possibility of informing whoever I had slept with that he was going to be a father because I didn't remember who he was.

My family was going to kill me.

"Before you blacked out, do you remember anyone that might have been at the party at the same time as you were?" Henry asked. "Maybe we can make a few discrete inquiries and find out if anyone saw you with someone."

My hand snapped up. "My roommate."

"Your roommate?"

"Yeah, Tony said I was all over some guy that night. Maybe he knows who it was."

"Is there any way that you can ask him?"

"When I get home, I suppose. I lost my cell phone somewhere during the trip here or I'd call him. I don't remember his number."

He was a number on the dial pad.

"Well, come on." Henry stood and then held his hand out to me. "Let's get you some ginger tea. It'll settle your stomach."

"Ginger tea?"

Henry nodded. "For now, we'll just tell everyone you ate something bad at dinner last night, but you know you'll need to tell them eventually."

I did, but I was going to put that nightmare off for as long as I could manage it. I did not need my parents or my overprotective brothers butting into my life.

"I just need time to figure this out."

Henry nodded as if he knew exactly how I was feeling, and considering what had happened between him and my brother, he probably did.

"How did you do it?" I asked. "How did you become a single father and raise Eva all on your own?"

Henry shrugged. "I didn't really have a choice. I couldn't go to Frank, but I wasn't about to give up my child. I muddled through as best as I could until I figured out what I was doing."

"How long did that take?"

Henry nodded as he patted my shoulder. "I'll let you know when that happens."

I was not reassured.

"If I have this kid, it'll mess up my whole life. I'd have to drop out of my residency and everything." Granted, I only had a couple of years left, but taking time off to have and raise a kid would derail all of that.

"Maybe or maybe you could tell your family and let them help you. There are a lot of people that love you, Gianni. They aren't going to abandon you just because you got pregnant."

I wasn't so sure of that.

Oh, I knew my family loved me. That had never been an issue. But an unwanted pregnancy out of wedlock changed a lot of things. I didn't think it would change their love for me, but I also wasn't sure I could face their disapproval.

Things would get even worse when they learned I had no idea who the father was.

I groaned as I rubbed my hands over my face. "I can't believe this is happening to me. I've always been so careful."

"Life doesn't ask us what we want, Gianni. It just throws things at us and waits to see if we sink or swim. The choice is yours."

I dropped my hands and stared at my brother-in-law for a moment before asking the one question I had never asked. "Was it hard for you to forgive my brother?"

I was relieved when Henry didn't answer me right away. It meant he was really thinking about the question.

"I didn't want to in the beginning, not after what he had done, but he eventually wore me down. Loving Frank was never the problem. I have always loved him. It was the trust that was the issue. He had broken my trust. Getting that back took awhile."

I smiled weakly as I pressed a hand against my swirling stomach. "I'm glad you two were able to finally work things out."

Seeing my older brother and Henry so happy together after those five years of hell was better than anything. If my ex-brother-in-law wasn't behind bars serving a life sentence, I'd track him down and strangle him with my own hands for what he'd done to my family.

"Loving someone is easy," Henry stated. "Living with them is hard."

I wasn't sure what that meant, but it sounded somewhat ominous. "Well, I don't have anyone in my life like that, so..." My brow flickered as I glanced down to where my hand was resting against my abdomen. Maybe, if I figured my life out, I could have someone to love.

As soon as that thought hit me, I wanted to slap myself. What was I thinking? I couldn't have a kid. I knew nothing about kids beyond the time I spent with my nieces and nephews.

I couldn't have a kid!

"I think I'm going to go lay down until my stomach settles."

"That's probably a good idea," Henry replied. "I'll bring you up some ginger tea."

"Thank you, Henry."

Henry started to turn to leave, but paused and glanced back. "One thing I want to warn you about. Pregnancy hormones are a real bitch. Your emotions are going to be all over the place. Don't make any rash decisions without really thinking it through first."

I nodded.

I knew better than that. I just felt as if the weight of the world was sitting on me and I had no idea how to make it stop. I didn't know if that was a symptom of pregnancy hormones or if I was just bat-shit crazy.

Maybe both.

I knew I needed to figure something out before I truly lost my mind.

I followed Henry out of the bathroom, but when he went right, I went left and headed for the guest bedroom I'd been using for my visit to the West Coast. Once inside, I closed the door, but instead of heading for bed, I walked over to the row of windows overlooking the bay below.

Seattle was a beautiful place. I could see snowcapped mountains off in the distance and several sailing boats in the water. If all of my schooling wasn't on the East Coast, I might consider living in a place like this. Maybe not directly in the city like my brothers, but one of the smaller outlying communities.

I liked the one directly across the bay from me. I loved water. I had always loved water. Didn't matter if they were lakes, rivers, bays, or even my bathtub. I loved water. Living someplace with this much water around it would be a dream come true.

Too bad I lived in the land of cement and glass.

Maybe I needed to move?