Chapter 6

6

J inx stood frozen in the garden, her heart racing as she tried to make sense of the overwhelming flood of emotions that threatened to drown her. Mikhail—Sabre’s demon, the King of Purgatory—was her fated mate. The knowledge thrummed through her body like lightning, equal parts exhilaration and terror.

She ran trembling fingers through her now tangled hair, mind reeling as she tried to process the revelation. It certainly explained why she wanted to jump his bones when he was masquerading as Hound. Her body had recognised him. But the fae glamour had been strong enough to prevent a full connection.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” she asked the universe.

“I second that.”

The words startled her so much that her muscles tensed, and her skin prickled with the sensation of fur threatening to burst forth. She whirled around, a low growl rumbling in her throat as her fingertips shifted into razor-sharp claws.

In front of her, Mikhail stood frozen, his eyes wide with surprise. “Whoa, easy there,” he said softly, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Jinx took a deep breath, willing her racing heart to calm and her claws to retract. “Sorry,” she muttered, taking calming breaths as the adrenaline slowly ebbed from her system. “I didn’t hear you.”

He shook his head, and one corner of his mouth kicked up. “Please don’t apologise. I know better than to sneak up on a predator. It wasn’t my intention. My portals are silent.”

The man had opened a portal to find her? She told her stupid heart to calm the fuck down. It was hardly a romantic gesture. And even if it was, she didn’t want it to be, she reminded herself.

She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. What was she supposed to say? That although a part of her wanted to leap for joy at having been given a mate, a bigger part wanted to vomit? That was bound to go down well. Male egos were fragile things. So, she simply stood there. Staring. Like a mentally diminished mute. It was awkward as fuck.

As the silence stretched out, the tension between them was palpable, a crackling energy that filled the air like static. She couldn’t take it anymore and shouted, “Sorry!” She cringed when Mikhail jumped. Clearing her throat, she lowered her voice. “About earlier, I mean. The whole mate thing. I wasn’t exactly subtle.”

“That’s not necessary,” Mikhail assured her kindly.

“But it is,” Jinx insisted. “I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that before hightailing out of there. It was just …”

“Unexpected, ” they said simultaneously. They stared at each other for a moment before smiling.

“I admit, this isn’t how I pictured our first official meeting going,” Mikhail said.

“What, you weren’t expecting to discover that the crazy weretiger who sniffed after you all those months is your fated mate?” Jinx tried to joke, but it fell a little flat. “Just another thing for me to apologise about,” she added with a mutter.

“How about we call a moratorium on apologies?” Mikhail suggested lightly. “Besides, if it makes you feel any better, I was sniffing you back.”

Jinx froze. Did that mean Mikhail was attracted to her?

“Uh …” Mikhail shoved his hands into his pockets and his high cheekbones flushed a pretty shade of pink. “I didn’t mean that literally. What I was trying to say, very poorly, was that I was drawn to you.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “You were?”

Mikhail nodded. “I was. I am . I …” He broke off, looking away. Creases formed on his forehead as he stared at the ground. “I want to be honest with you, Jinx. In all matters.”

She shivered, enjoying her name on his lips more than she had a right to. Clearing her suddenly dry throat, she said, “I value honesty.”

He grinned, revealing dimples. “We have that in common. Jinx …”

And that’s when it hit her. She wasn’t going to have to beg for time to reconcile her emotions. Nor was she going to have to let him down gently. Because he’s about to reject me, she thought silently. It was in his tone. The realisation hurt so much that she looked down, expecting to see blood draining from her chest.

“You don’t want me,” she stated, beating him to the punch. Because wasn’t that what it boiled down to?

“It’s not that,” Mikhail rushed to say. He took a step closer, and Jinx immediately took one back. He sighed, shoulders sagging. “It’s just … I don’t know you.”

“And you don’t want to,” Jinx supplied. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling suddenly chilled.

“I do,” Mikhail insisted, shifting uneasily and looking everywhere but at her.

“Uh-huh,” Jinx said dryly. “That’s why you look as uncomfortable as fuck. You know, I’m not going to jump your bones right here and sink my teeth into you, claiming you as mine for all eternity. That’s not how matings work.” Even though her tiger was clambering to do just that. “I don’t know you, either.”

She snapped her mouth closed. Why was she giving him so much pushback? She didn’t want a mate any more than he did. She should be relieved. I didn’t expect it to feel like this, she acknowledged. I didn’t expect it to hurt. How na?ve she had been.

“I know all that,” Mikhail said, looking pained. “It’s just that I’m the King.”

It was like a punch to the gut. Mikhail didn’t want her because she wasn’t good enough for him. Sure, that was a part of her own reasoning. But it was brutal coming from the one person in the world who was supposed to want her unconditionally. “Of course. You’re royalty. And I’m just me. Forget I said anything.”

When she turned to leave, Mikhail put his hand on her bare arm. His palm was hot against her skin, sending tingles radiating up her arm and throughout her body. She froze, her breath catching in her throat as an electric current seemed to pass between them.

Time seemed to slow as Jinx became hyper-aware of every point of contact—the slight pressure of his thumb against her inner wrist, the brush of his fingertips along the sensitive underside of her forearm. Heat blossomed where they touched, spreading like wildfire through her veins. Her heart began to race, pounding so forcefully she was sure Mikhail must be able to see it through her chest. Her legs felt weak, and her knees threatened to buckle. She swayed slightly, her body yearning to be closer to his. Inside her mind, her tiger was churring like a maniac.

She tried to compose herself, but it was nearly impossible when he was still touching her. Could he see the effect he was having on her? The thought was enough to snap her out of the mating haze. Clearing her throat, she managed to speak. “Let me go.”

“Huh?” Mikhail questioned, staring at her unblinkingly. He seemed to be just as stupefied as she was.

Jinx gritted her teeth and reached out, grabbing Mikhail’s wrist. She tugged, repeating, “Let me go.”

His eyes widened, and he immediately released her arm. “Shit!” He stepped back and shook his hand like he wanted to get rid of the memory of her touch. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“The physical connection between mates can be intense. Especially in the beginning,” Jinx explained thinly. “Apparently, it settles.”

“Good to know,” Mikhail mumbled, frowning down at his hand. Then his eyes were back on hers, steady and intense. “You are not unworthy to be my mate.”

Jinx flinched, spinning around. She did not want to hear this. But Mikhail stepped around in front of her, blocking her escape. He was close enough that she could feel his body heat, but he made no move to touch her again.

“Will you look at me?” Mikhail requested gruffly.

Jinx shook her head. “Nope,” she replied, keeping her gaze stubbornly downcast.

Mikhail’s chest rose and fell with his deep sigh. “Fine. At least keep your ears open, okay?”

That brought her head up. “How do you close your ears?”

Mikhail looked aggrieved as he replied, “I have no idea. But Sabre manages to do it all the time.”

She was surprised into a giggle. Mikhail’s pupils dilated, and his nostrils flared. When he began to lean into her, she took a hasty step back, her amusement fading. “No more touching.”

He shook himself out of whatever daze he was in. “Right. Of course. Sorry. As I was saying, my reluctance to be mated has nothing to do with you as a person. I swear it on the life of my brother. It is an honour, a blessing, and a true gift from the heavens to be yours to claim. With everything in me, I wish I could accept such a miracle. But, Jinx, I don’t have that freedom. My life is not my own. It belongs to the people of Purgatory. And I owe them so much. They think I’m dead. They think their king is dead. Imagine if I showed up after deceiving them for so long: no resolution to the drama plaguing our world, my killer brother still on the loose, and a new mate on my arm. That would look …”

“Really fucking bad,” Jinx supplied, comprehension dawning.

“Yes,” Mikhail agreed, his voice low and filled with a mixture of longing and regret. He paced away, his movements agitated. “The crown I wear is not just a symbol of power but a burden of responsibility. Every decision I make, and every action I take affects the lives of millions. I have so much work to do before I can even think about something for myself. If ever.” He looked at her, his expressive face shutting down. “I have to work. I can’t have a mate.”

As far as excuses went, a work commitment was a pretty shitty one. Unless, Jinx thought, feeling incredibly sad for him, you were the ruler of a world filled with supernatural creatures. “Your duty to Purgatory comes before your own desires,” she stated.

Mikhail swallowed roughly, and he nodded jerkily. “Always.”

“You have a psycho brother to catch. You don’t need the distraction of a mate,” Jinx continued. She blinked quickly when moisture flooded her eyes. She understood. She truly did. But she still had to fight shockingly hard to maintain her composure.

Mikhail grimaced. “It sounds terrible when you put it like that, but yes. You would be a distraction I can’t afford.” He walked toward her with measured steps. “Because I can already tell that you would consume me, Jinx. You are beautiful, strong, and intelligent. I’m betting you would be perfect for me.”

His last words were almost a whisper as if he was afraid of saying them too loudly. But Jinx heard them, and they made her ache. “I understand.”

“You do?” he asked, holding his breath.

“I do,” she said truthfully.

His breath left him in a rush, and his broad shoulders slumped. He covered his face with his hands, causing his next words to come out muffled. “I never expected you to understand,” he said, his voice breaking with emotion. “But I'm so grateful that you do.”

Jinx could hear the pain and vulnerability in his words. She wanted to take it away, to make everything right again. But she couldn’t even deal with her own pain. Besides, she had no right to take on the pain of someone else. They stood in silence for a moment, and she was grateful. Her thoughts were a chaotic jumble inside her head. So much angst. And for what? She didn’t want a mate either. The reminder made her laugh. It came out a little hysterical, but she felt better once she got a hold of herself.

Wiping her eyes, she grinned at Mikhail. “Do you want to know what’s so funny?”

His gaping mouth closed with a snap, and he eyed her warily. “I’m not sure.”

Her lips twitched again. The poor guy looked scared. “I don’t even want a mate.”

Mikhail’s eyes immediately narrowed, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “I beg your pardon?”

“It’s the truth. Okay, maybe my tiger wants a mate. And my heart seems to think it’s a good idea, too.” She paused, thinking for a moment before adding, “Not to mention my hormones.” Mikhail gasped and began to choke. “Oops,” Jinx said. “Don’t die, will you? I’d hate to have to explain all this to Sabre.”

Mikhail coughed into his hand for a moment before struggling to take in some air. His eyes were watering when they met hers. “I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting you to say, uh …”

“That I’m horny for you?” Jinx completed his sentence. He began to make a gurgling sound. She smiled, feeling much steadier. “I’m here for the honesty, remember? And my lusting after you isn’t exactly breaking news. But the point is, I can’t be anyone’s mate either. It’s not something I’ve ever wanted. That’s why I did a runner before. I wanted to pretend the whole thing never happened.”

“You … don’t … want … me?” Mikhail asked slowly.

“I really don’t,” she was quick to reply. And if I keep telling myself that, one day, every part of me might just believe it.

“Huh,” Mikhail grunted.

“What?” she asked, watching him closely. He suddenly looked a little pale.

“I feel horrible,” he admitted. “I’m really offended. My feelings are hurt. My damn heart hurts ,” he said, rubbing his chest in circular motions. “I feel like I want to cry like a baby and yell at you at the same time.” His voice cracked, betraying the pain he was feeling.

“I’m—”

Mikhail held up a hand, interrupting her. “Don’t say you’re sorry. I just did the same thing to you. I didn’t know it would feel like this. It sucks.”

“It really does,” she agreed.

“Why don’t you want me?” he questioned with a pout.

Jinx bit her lip. The man was adorable when he was disgruntled. She was hesitant to reveal her reasons. They were too deeply entangled with her trauma. But he deserved answers. “Finding a fated mate is a miracle. But one I never believed would be reserved for me. And I was okay with that. My past has shaped me the same way that yours has shaped you. To me, being claimed by another feels like shackles. I won’t be a slave again. That includes being a slave to fate.”

“I would never make you do anything you didn’t want to do,” Mikhail vowed, his voice low and intense.

Jinx simply nodded, not willing to argue. “Luckily, we’re both on the same page when it comes to being mated, so we don’t need to test that theory.”

“Your past …” he began.

“Is not up for discussion,” Jinx cut him off. “I know Sabre has told you the bare bones of it. That’s more than enough.”

“Understood,” he murmured, not pushing further.

After a silence that was no longer awkward but definitely still tense, Jinx cleared her throat. “So, we agree. No mating.”

“No mating,” Mikhail repeated.

Jinx felt her stomach turn, and she pressed her palm against it to calm the churning. “What now?”

Mikhail sighed heavily, looking a little lost as he gazed around. "Breakfast?" he suggested half-heartedly.

Jinx shook her head, feeling nauseous at the thought of food. “I don't think I can eat right now,” she admitted.

Mikhail's face fell even further, his head hanging down. “I'm so sorry,” he said, his voice barely audible.

“I know you are,” Jinx said, reaching out to touch his arm in a gesture of comfort. The spark was still there, but she gritted her teeth against it. “I am, too. I just ... I really don't want to be around you for a little while. Okay?”

Mikhail nodded. “Whatever you need,” he said, gently squeezing her hand.

Jinx turned and walked away without a backward glance, feeling the weight of their decision heavy on her heart.