Chapter 53

The pungent aromaof eucalyptus and sage filled Natalia’s senses as the spa attendant slathered warm, viscous mud over her bare skin. She lay prone on the table; the headrest forcing her cheek at an odd angle.

“This seaweed wrap will detoxify and nourish your skin,” the attendant assured her in a soothing voice. “I’ll let it work its magic for thirty minutes. Just relax and breathe deeply.”

Relax. If only it were that easy, Natalia thought ruefully.

The attendant quietly exited and Natalia was left alone, encased from neck to feet in the thick, green mask. The silence pressed in, broken only by the whirring white noise machine in the corner.

As the mud seeped into her pores, the scent cloying in her nose, Natalia realized her mistake. In running from the tense weekend with Sam, she had trapped herself in claustrophobic loneliness. No phone, no distractions, nothing but her spiraling thoughts.

The room felt smaller by the second. She focused on steadying her breath, but her mind raced. Had she ruined things already? Why couldn’t she just be honest? Natalia strained against the mud, desperate for any stimulation beyond the swirling darkness of her own regrets.

But the wrap held fast, immobilizing her. Forcing her to confront the doubts and guilt churning within. She thought of Sam’s wounded eyes. Natalia squeezed her own shut, willing away the image. But in the stillness, she found no escape.

Natalia’s thoughts spiraled as she lay trapped beneath the oppressive mask. This is what she got for trying to pursue an easy, happy relationship. She should have known better. Things like that simply didn’t happen for people like her — people who clawed their way up from nothing, who poured blood and sweat into everything they built.

Happiness required letting your guard down, leaving yourself vulnerable. And she couldn’t afford that kind of reckless naivete. Not when she had herself to lose. Getting involved with Sam had been a mistake, no matter how alive the woman made her feel.

And now Natalia faced an impossible choice. She could stand by and do nothing, abandoning Sam to the wolves of Hollywood. Or she could intervene and likely destroy her hard-won reputation in the process. Neither option sat well in her tight chest.

The material hemming her in constricted tighter, forcing out her breath. Natalia focused on the present, on survival. She would get through this. Handle it carefully, cleanly, just like she always did.

She ignored the pang of regret, pushing away thoughts of Sam. There was no room for weakness, not for her. She didn’t need anyone. She would break herself out of this trap, peel away the mask, and do what needed to be done.

Her self-talk did nothing to stop the endless barrage of scattered thoughts. Guilt emerged from some untapped part of her psyche.

She had worked so hard to convince Sam that Zoe could be trusted — that she wouldn’t let Hollywood corrupt the heart of Lilith’s story. Had that been a naive dream? If Zoe was pushing to fundamentally change the narrative now, then Natalia had led Sam astray. Betrayed her trust. The thought made Natalia’s chest constrict even more than the restrictive wrap.

She wished she knew the full details of what was happening. All she had were Mack’s vague accusations and Sam’s wounded confusion. She was trapped in the dark, forced to make impossible choices without complete information.

More than anything, Natalia wished she had someone to talk to about this mess. Someone who could help her find a solution where no one got hurt. But there was no one.

Natalia was well and truly alone with the choice before her. Let things crumble and watch the collateral damage from a detached distance. Or get involved, fight to set things right, even if it put her own interests at risk. Every instinct told her to cut ties, protect herself. But underneath the hard shell she’d built, Natalia’s heart wouldn’t let her forget the light she’d found in Sam’s arms. The possibility of something real peeking through their intertwined fingers. Could she really walk away from that? From her?

Natalia realized her judgement was clouded. She had always prided herself on cool logic, on removing emotion from every decision. But this time, she couldn’t deny the inconvenient truth — she had feelings for Sam. Real feelings that ran far deeper than physical attraction.

Without her consent, Sam had slipped past her defenses. Natalia had given pieces of herself that she never dared reveal. And she had never felt more alive than wrapped in Sam’s arms. Never felt safer than sleeping in Sam’s bed. It was stupid and childish and dangerous, but it didn’t stop the facts from being true.

The ache of vulnerability. The uncontrolled racing of her heart was too much.

With a surge of panicked energy, she thrashed against the restrictive wrap. She clawed at the mud, ripping through the seaweed fibers. The primal need to break free overwhelmed all else.

Finally, she tore away the last clinging strips, chest heaving, eyes wild. The room spun as she gasped, trying to fill her lungs like she was drowning on dry land.

When her visioned sharpened and her pulse stopped pounding in her brain, she glanced at the clock above the door. Not even ten minutes had passed, even though she felt like she’d been struggling alone in the dark for hours.

She stood on shaky legs, thighs trembling and balance unsteady. Nearly leaping into the tiny shower in the corner of the small room, she turned on the water without waiting for it to heat.

Freezing cold drops penetrated the thick mud while she braced herself against the tiled wall. Memories of being tangled up in the glorified hose and bucket of Sam’s boat shower slammed into her already weakened body.

Sam had held her so close, making sure she’d always had the majority of the weak stream. She closed her eyes, but the truth was undeniable.

She cared about Sam deeply. More than she could allow. And that meant she had to end this before she lost herself completely.