Chapter 48

As a rule,Natalia never napped. Not ever. Sleep was for the evening. She wasn’t a toddler.

And yet there she was, blinking awake in the small cabin that was just a full-sized bed, low ceiling, and storage. Mid-afternoon sun streaking in and warming her lower body until she was uncomfortably hot.

She could blame the boat’s gentle rocking or the soothing sound of water lapping against the hull or the hours they’d spent in the water for her slip-up. She could blame needing a break from the sun and having nowhere else to take it, or the breeze coming in from the open hatch directly above the bed.

The cause didn’t matter, she decided. It was time to get up. She’d been out of phone contact for hours. Anything could be happening at Dominion and she wouldn’t know.

A pang of anxiety didn’t follow that thought like it usually did. Instead, her traitorous, mutinous brain made her think of Adriana and Lola. Tricked her into thinking that they could handle something if it came up. An irrational thought that made her body slow to react.

If she hadn’t doled out sun block by the gallon, she would fear her sluggishness was sun poisoning. What other reason could she have for wanting to stay in bed in a cramped, stuffy, sweltering cabin?

The menace inhabiting her skull took over, forcing her to acknowledge the slow breathing and similarly sweaty body lying next to her. With her back to her, Sam was sound asleep.

Sam had been adamant about never bringing alcohol on board, and yet Natalia felt drunk anyway. It was the kind of intoxication that made consequences seem so far away. A contact high that made a bad idea look so good. So reasonable. So inevitable.

In some distant part of her, Natalia knew she should wake Sam and demand they return. Knew she should armor up and pull away before she drowned in wanting. Before she melted into the surf and came up as useless foam on shore. But the hypnotic sway of the boat kept her anchored in place, waves wearing down her sharp edges like sea glass.

No, she had to go. She’d pushed too far. Tipped too close to the line and was about to lose her grip and tumble over. And who would save her then? No one would rescue her if she fell.

She reached out to shove Sam awake, but her touch landed so softly. Only her fingertips settled on Sam’s shoulder. The shoulder dusted with salt that had dried on her un-burnt skin.

Retracting her hand was the only sensible thing to do. She should get up and make noise and wake Sam up that way, but she watched helplessly as her fingers glided down her arm, over her elbow, and down her bare back.

At some point, Sam had taken off her bathing suit top. Faint lines across her back marking where the sun had penetrated the sunscreen despite Natalia’s constant efforts. Natalia traced it before following the curve of Sam’s spine to the waistband of her shorts.

Natalia shouldn’t be there. She wasn’t the kind of person who enjoyed such proximity. But Sam hadn’t cared about that on the night they met, and she hadn’t seemed to care once since.

Sam was a bull stomping at the ground, packed hard but shifting under her foot. Bold and undeterred while she barreled into Natalia’s orderly life and upended it all. With her infectious laugh and her brilliant mind and her apparently endless capacity for compassion.

It was unfair, if Natalia had to name it. It was unfair how easy it was to be with Sam. How easy it was to be around her family. To take a deep breath. To feel wanted and seen and appreciated.

Natalia tried to pull away, but she traced the strong lines of Sam’s shoulder blade and dropped to where her tattoo started, wanting to press her lips there. No one had matched her passion so completely, in and out of bed. Just the sight of Sam’s skin ignited a hunger in Natalia that both scared and exhilarated her.

Had she ever met someone so patient without letting themselves be walked all over? How did Sam learn to be that way? She was kind, but not artificial. Brave and opinionated, but willing to bend. It made no sense.

Watching Sam with her parents, Natalia had glimpsed the family she never had. Parents who radiated pride and love, who welcomed with open arms. It touched something in Natalia she thought long dormant.

Sam saw her, accepted her, challenged her — all the things she never knew she wanted. This unbelievable woman and her unrealistic family who refused to let Natalia push her away. It was too much.

Natalia knew she should flee from this place, but how could she run from something that felt like coming home? But that was impossible. Natalia’s only home was the one she built. Her only reliable partner was herself. Hadn’t the universe shown her that time and again?

Distracted, Natalia didn’t notice Sam’s breathing change until she was looking over her shoulder. Until it was too late and she’d been caught touching her so embarrassingly gently.

“Hey,” Sam said groggily. “Are you feeling okay?”

Even half-asleep, Sam was thinking of her. Worrying about her. Wanting to care for her. It was too much. It was one too many things to fend off. She bowed under the weight of it.

Sam turned to face her, but Natalia didn’t want her to fully rouse. She needed to stay in this liminal place. Floating between dreaming and waking. A place where she had no past. No layers of scar tissue around her malfunctioning heart.

She pulled Sam on top of her, needing to feel every inch of her. Needed her to smother the doubt clawing at Natalia’s chest with her body. To drown her crushing doubt in her endless kiss.

Parting her thighs, she pulled Sam closer. Any space between them was unacceptable. She needed to disappear into Sam. To lose herself or find herself, she didn’t know. She just wanted her close. She just wanted to feel.

Understanding the primal thing breaking open in Natalia’s body, Samantha kissed her instead of making some smart-ass comment about Natalia’s bracing need. Kissed her like Sam knew what Natalia craved better than she did.

Hands shoving inside the damp material of Sam’s shorts, the hunger grew in Natalia’s body like a fire starved for oxygen finding a cracked window. She consumed it, melting the fabric off of Sam’s body until she was naked and returning to her rightful place between Natalia’s legs.

Holding herself above her, Sam looked down at her, brow furrowed and hair falling carelessly over her forehead. She was lit from above like the heavens themselves had opened to point at Sam. Like the universe was telling her to stop being scared. To stop running. To catch what she already had. All she had to do was curl her fingers around the beating thing in her palm.

“Touch me,” Natalia whispered so softly she should have been mortified by the sound.

Sam dragged her teeth over her bottom lip, something deep rumbling in her throat before she dipped her head toward Natalia. Instead of capturing her lips in a fiery kiss, Sam grazed her jaw.

Lips warm and gentle, Sam pressed a line down her jaw and over the base of her neck. Kissing her with the same passionate enthusiasm she usually used on her mouth, Sam bit and sucked at the sensitive spot.

Natalia rocked her hips, hands sliding over the thin layer of perspiration covering Sam’s back. She dug in her nails, clinging to Sam and generating more friction between them.

Yanking down Natalia’s bathing suit strap, Sam kissed the newly exposed skin. Her lips were searing against the cooler skin. Natalia imagined them as wild flames burning away impurities and leaving gleaming metal behind.

Sam’s lips trailed lower, hands following to peel the damp swimsuit from Natalia’s body. Each inch of newly bared skin she worshipped with loving attention.

Natalia shivered, equal parts vulnerable and electrified. No lover had ever handled her so reverently. She was used to hungry groping and hurried hookups, not this gentle veneration.

But Sam took her time. She covered Natalia’s breasts with whisper-soft kisses, thumbs grazing over hardening peaks. Down her trembling stomach, Sam continued her unhurried exploration, bathing Natalia in patient affection.

When the swimsuit slipped free, Sam slid back up Natalia’s body, nose nuzzling into her neck. Natalia clutched her close, heart battering her ribs, stripped bare in more ways than one.

Sam’s body pressed into hers, solid and grounding. Her hands soothed over Natalia’s sides, a comforting warmth that eased the panic trying and failing to worm its way into her chest.

Each shift of Sam’s body was a lie she wanted to believe. Closing her eyes and focusing on the sensation of Samantha on her, Natalia pretended she was worth loving.

“You are absolutely perfect,” Sam muttered softly before running the tip of her tongue over Natalia’s bottom lip.

Tilting her chin up, Natalia found Sam’s mouth. It was the last stone crumbling under a relentless siege. She poured everything she was sure she would never say into the kiss. Her longing, her pain, her hope.

Sam shuddered under the weight of Natalia’s raw, unmitigated kiss and deepened it. Sure she was breathing through Sam, that she’d drown if they broke apart, Natalia’s muscles locked and trembled.

And then Sam’s hips moved faster, but grinding against her was woefully inadequate. She needed to feel her.

Without breaking their kiss, Natalia reached for Sam’s arm. Reading her non-verbal cue, Sam lifted her hand from the bed and let Natalia guide it over her hips and the gentle swell of her belly before slipping it between her thighs.

The moment Sam touched her, she lost the rhythm of their kiss. Abandoning her attempt to do both, Sam rested her forehead against Natalia’s and groaned.

“You feel so good,” Sam whispered, the very tips of her fingers gliding over Natalia’s arousal like she was testing the ocean’s temperature. “I missed you.”

Natalia didn’t recoil from the gentle confession. She didn’t urge Sam to go faster. She didn’t look away, watching every tiny change in Sam’s face while she touched her.

More exhilarating than Sam’s practiced fingers was the reverence etched into her face. Like she still couldn’t believe she was lucky enough to be here. Like it wasn’t Natalia who stumbled across the biggest prize.

“Tell me when to stop,” Sam whispered against the shell of her ear before concentrating her slow circles lightly over Natalia’s clit.

Shifting to Natalia’s side, Sam didn’t lose her place. Each swipe of her fingers was another pound of pressure building in Natalia’s body.

With a sigh, Natalia showed her where to keep her focus. Sam understood immediately, brows furrowing and dark eyes dripping with second-hand lust like she was the one on her back.

Never looking away from her, Sam quickened her pace. The sudden change was a spike of aching desire pulsing in Natalia’s body. She stiffened, fighting off the desire to take over.

Sam bit her bottom lip like she’d never seen anything better than watching Natalia struggle against herself. Pity probably spurred her to shift her attention, dipping into Natalia’s entrance. Sam’s groan and curse nearly sold her surprise at discovering how wet Natalia was.

Natalia dug her hips into the mattress, signaling for Sam to come back to where she wanted her. Sam obliged, but Natalia read the hesitation on her face.

Under her focused ministrations, Natalia moaned. Heart racing and pulse pumping in her ears, her eyes, her tightening jaw, Natalia forced herself to keep her eyes open. Forced herself to stay for Sam. For herself.

When Natalia started trembling, orgasm tugging hard and close to bringing her under, Sam’s lips parted. The silent question was deafening.

Don’t make me say it, Natalia nearly pleaded aloud.

Sam shifted her fingers away before her climax crested, for once misinterpreting Natalia’s desires. Couldn’t she see that Natalia was looking for an endless edging session?

“Stay,” Natalia panted, breathless and begging. She was so close.

Sam’s eyes brightened just before she finally got it. When she understood, she slid her fingers, slick with arousal, back to where Natalia wanted her.

Without breaking eye contact, she circled Natalia’s clit at a maddeningly slow pace, bringing her back to the edge. But this time Natalia didn’t stay there.

One hand clutching Sam’s back and the other making a fist in the sheets, Natalia couldn’t hold it in. Tossing her head back, she let go. She threw herself into the waves, fully expecting to be shredded by the rocks.

But Sam was steady, muttering her breathy encouragement and praise against her lips. She didn’t stop. Didn’t slow. Until Natalia reached down and put her hands over hers.

“Natalia…” Sam’s words were lost in the salty breeze that had returned through the hatch.

Natalia read the sentiment in her tone. She pulled her back on top of her until they were flush and she could hardly breathe and closed her eyes.