Chapter 20

The last placeSam expected to be that night was pinned against Natalia’s driver’s side door. Especially not after having shared one of the most hurtful memories. After having made herself so vulnerable, it was almost humiliating.

She could hardly breathe with Natalia’s body pressed against hers, every reckless curve calling Sam’s name.

Capturing her mouth in a searing kiss, Natalia’s full lips were insistent as her tongue plunged past Sam’s parted lips. Sam groaned and held Natalia’s face in her palms, bringing her closer.

Natalia kissed her deeply, hungrily. Her hands roamed greedily over Sam’s body, nails raking down her back before grabbing her ass and grinding their hips together. Sam gasped at the friction, desire building low in her belly. She clutched Natalia tighter, lost in the taste and feel of her.

When Natalia’s teeth grazed her neck, Sam let her head fall back, exposing more skin for Natalia to devour. Natalia’s tongue and lips blazed a trail of fire down to Sam’s collarbone. The combination of her mouth and the warmth of her hands slipping under her shirt was enough to make her forget they were in a parking garage. Forget her fears and step out onto the ledge. Make herself believe that Natalia could protect her.

“I’ll consider the deal,” Sam panted, barely able to form words, “but only with a bulletproof creative control clause and full veto power.” She pulled Natalia closer, desperate for her. “And that’s just to consider it,” she repeated.

Natalia paused, eyes dark and lips swollen from their kissing. She smirked, a devastatingly wicked sight, before claiming Sam’s mouth, kissing her again.

Sam’s hands slid under Natalia’s dress, fingers splayed over the smooth skin of her thighs. She ached to touch more of her, to feel Natalia come undone beneath her hands.

But some small voice of reason in Sam’s lust-addled mind gave her pause. As Natalia’s tongue claimed hers, Sam realized she didn’t just want sex from her. It wasn’t enough to see her naked. She wanted to truly know Natalia — the real woman beneath the glossy veneer.

Sam gently broke the kiss, her hands tight around Natalia’s hips. Eyes glazed with desire, Natalia looked like she was ready to push the limits of how far she was willing to go in public. Like she might throw Sam into the narrow confines of her backseat and maul her.

Despite wanting to devour Natalia, Sam stopped herself. There was nothing she’d rather do tonight than take Natalia home, but there was no doubt in her mind that it would end the same way the first had.

“What is it?” Natalia’s perfect eyebrow twitched in question as she ran her nails over Sam’s lower back.

“I don’t know your middle name,” Sam said like it was a deal-breaker. “I don’t know if you have siblings.”

Natalia stared back at her, the fire in her eyes still raging. Still dancing wildly and lulling Sam into almost believing that it didn’t matter how little she knew Natalia. That the fun they’d have if they left together would be enough. But Natalia was no more available now than she had been almost two months ago. She’d still fly out of her bed as soon as they were done, and Sam wanted more.

“What do you want from me?” Natalia’s question was a low rumble in Sam’s chest.

Looking back at her, Sam took a deep breath. “Something more than sex,” she admitted without adding that Natalia had woken something inside her. Had made her feel curious and awake. Made her want again.

“And if sex is all I’m offering?” Natalia slipped out of her arms, taking a step back.

Sam left one hand on Natalia’s hip, eye contact unwavering. For the first time, Sam saw Natalia falter. She didn’t believe sex was all Natalia had to give. That didn’t conform to the way she touched her. The way she chased just as much as she ran.

“Is that true?” Sam pulled her in again, relieved that Natalia let herself be tugged back into her arms.

Natalia didn’t respond, but the rigidity in her body said, I don’t know. Sam closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of Natalia’s perfume as it mixed with the warm city air.

An hour later, Sam was sitting alone in her car. Playing with the chain holding her wedding rings, she wondered for the tenth time what Sofia would have to say about Natalia. She’d probably tell Sam that she’d met her match in the pain-in-the-ass department.

Sam closed her hand around the bands and shut her eyes. She’d had enough therapy to know she shouldn’t feel guilty. Blanca was right. Sofia would have never wanted her to sail into the next chapter of her life alone. And yet, guilt bedded down in her chest and made a home anyway.

In the years since she’d lost Sofia, Sam had dated other women. Apart from the first time she’d kissed another woman, she’d never felt guilty or like she was leaving Sofia behind. But there was something different about Natalia.

Dropping against the headrest, Sam’s thoughts drifted to Natalia’s silence. If sex was all she wanted, she would have said so. Natalia wasn’t the kind of person to give a shit about hurting someone’s feelings. She’d told her a million times how much she valued being direct.

Natalia’s walls were so high and treacherous. Sam was almost certain they were unscalable, too. Was she allowing herself to be drawn into Natalia because she knew subconsciously that she’d never actually catch her? It wasn’t something she could discount. Between Blanca and Natalia calling her out, she was starting to question whether there was something to her own defenses.

Reaching for her phone, Sam decided to look up her old grief support group. She hadn’t been to a meeting in years, but it felt necessary. If there weren’t any running at this late hour, she’d wait until the morning.

There was a change in the air, and it had nothing to do with the movie deal. Something real with Natalia felt possible. Felt inches away. Felt fragile and breakable and fleeting. Sam decided that she wanted to chase the maybe. Chase the possibility in Natalia’s silence. Even if it was pouring gasoline on her flight response, she had to see what was there.

She’d keep her promise to Blanca. To Sofia’s memory. And see whether Natalia was really as unavailable as she professed. Her actions certainly didn’t match her words. Sam’s chest tightened, unsure whether she wanted to be right or wrong about Natalia.