Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Maureen

"RED!" The loud screech pulled me from my thoughts and I looked around to see where it was coming from just as Trent's hand caught my arm, stilling my motions. Startled, I looked up into his eyes and knew.

"Oh god," I whispered. "How many times?"

"A few," he replied with a grimace.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." Pulling from his hold, I dropped the strap to the floor and rushed over to Mira. "Oh shit, baby, Oh shit. I'm so sorry. I didn't hear you," I explained through freefalling tears as I quickly undid her restraints. "W-What happened? Was it too much?"

As soon as she was free, I helped her sit on the surface of the bench, and knelt before her, looking into her eyes.

"No. It was fine. I just… I got a cramp. And my hands started to go numb. And I panicked. I'm sorry." Her voice was raspy, and her face was cloaked in shame.

My heart broke. How could I have fucked up so badly?

"I'm so sorry, Mira. I must have… spaced out, got in the zone. I for real didn't hear you. God, I'm so sorry." I was supposed to be taking care of her, but instead I was breaking down.

I sucked in a sob as the shame on her face mirrored my own and prepared to take her in my arms, walk her over to the aftercare station and eventually to her room. Before I could do any of those things, Trent pulled me close. "Let me take over here. You go get some rest, and I'll come check on you too, when I finish with Mira."

I started to protest, to say that that wasn't protocol, but was there even protocol for something like this? A Dominant ignoring a safe word? I knew if it hadn't been accidental, I'd already be out on my ass.

Glancing at Mira, I met her gaze. "Mira, what do you want, baby?"

I could see the empathy shining in her expression. It made me feel worse. Her response though? That just about killed me. "I'll go with Master Holland. I'm okay, promise. I just… I'll go with Master Holland."

She was worried about me. It was written all over her face. I was supposed to be the one worried about her.

All I could do now was nod and back away as bile rose in my throat. The crowd that had started to gather parted as I made my way to the door. I could feel their eyes on me, judging me silently, and rightly so. How had I fucked up so badly?

I had nearly cleared my escape when a thin arm wrapped around my shoulders. I jerked away but it pulled me tighter, closer. I inhaled a familiar scent and looked up to see Luna beside me.

"Luna." Her name came out on a sob as my body sagged against hers.

"I saw the whole thing. C'mon, let's go find a quiet place we can talk."

I didn't want to talk, I wanted to pack my bags and leave Rawhide, but I knew I couldn't just run again. I owed Mira more than that. I owed Luna the opportunity to be my friend in a time when I needed one. I owed Master Derek notice, at the very least. And then there was Trent….

Trent. It was my fault I was in this position, but he was at least partially the cause. The memories of my mother combined with the fantasies of him, of being the one on the receiving end of a session like that…. That had been what caused my thoughts to wander. The reason why I lost focus.

I allowed Luna to pull me along, to the cafe, and lead me to a back table. She ordered two herbal teas, and a huge bowl of ice cream to split.

As soon as our order had been placed in front of us, and the server had walked out of earshot, Luna raised her brows and looked at me expectantly. "Okay, so that wasn't… great. What gives?"