Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Maureen

I looked up suddenly, and as if I'd sensed him, Trent was walking into the cafeteria. His smile was instant when he saw me, and guilt washed through me. How could he look so pleased to see me when I'd been so rude? Get fucked? Had I really said that? I'd been angry but he didn't deserve to be told so thoroughly off. And why did I find the man so infuriating anyway?

But I knew the answer to that even if I didn't want to admit it. Shoving the thought away, I lowered my head, avoiding his gaze. Would he believe I hadn't seen him? Scrunching my brow, I speared a piece of teriyaki chicken with my fork and popped it in my mouth. What only a moment ago had been delicious was now as tasteless as sawdust.

With a growl, I rose. Grabbing my tray, I headed for the trash, appetite gone. I had managed to avoid him for the last few weeks by eating salads and sandwiches from the cafe, not going to the Dungeon, and running the property trails in the evenings with Luna just in case he decided to come to my apartment.

"I was hoping you had just started," Trent said, making me jump and knock my fork to the ground with a twang.

How this man moved so ninja-like was beyond me. "Sorry, I'm finished." I swallowed hard when I finally looked him in the eye. He glanced down at my half-full plate and back.

"Is that all you're sorry for?" The sparkle in his eye didn't deter from my sudden irritation.

My jaw tightened, the heat of frustration battled with the warmth of unwanted arousal at the intention behind his words and his handsome, dimpled face. I took a breath, reminding myself that reacting was just playing into his little game. Looking at my watch, I gave him a tight smile.

"Gotta run." And, plopping the tray on the counter, I walked away. My heart speeding unnaturally and my gut flipping were the only indication he'd had any effect on me and thankfully, I was the only one who knew what they were doing.

I didn't look back, no matter how hard it was not to, at least not until I was turning the corner out of the room. I was surprised to see he wasn't watching me. Surprised and… disappointed. What? What the hell did I have to be disappointed about? A little noise of frustration gurgled from my throat and then, bam, I collided with someone.

"Oh! Damn."

"Sorry!" I looked up and saw Luna. She reached out, grabbing my shoulders to steady me.

"Whoa, where's the fire?"

In my panties.

"Luna, sorry." I glanced at her bag on the floor and stooped to pick it up along with the lip balm that had rolled from it. "Wasn't paying attention."

Luna's eyebrow rose in a perfectly sculpted arch. "We really need to talk. Running has been great but it's not conducive to conversation—not the way you run, like there's a wildfire chasing you."

I waved a hand. "We will, but I need to go." I made the mistake of looking back at Trent who was now sitting with Dalton Rogers, another university professor. A few students surrounded them, and I was reminded of what a popular man Trent had been at Columbia. The draw he'd had. Was that what made me want him?

"Maureen?"

Luna's voice pulled me out of my head and I blinked at her. "Yes, okay. We'll talk. Next week…" I paused, thinking of my taxing schedule or maybe just the dread of talking about my issue. "Maybe the week after would be better. I'll text you."

"Let's pick a day now. We'll go into town. Away from the Ranch."

I gathered a breath, both annoyed and relieved at Luna's insightfulness. "You're not going to let up, are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine. I'll text you tonight with an actual date." I didn't bother saying anything else, just headed for my office where I knew I wouldn't run into anyone.

The next few days were busy, but uneventful. I'd once again taken to eating lunch from the cafe in my office to avoid… people .

A knock on the door came as I was grading essays. I stretched, looked up from my laptop screen to the clock on the wall. It was after five. I'd been so absorbed in them that I'd barely noticed time passing. I'd been at it for three hours already.

"Come in," I mumbled through a yawn, deciding I needed a coffee to get through the rest.

"Maureen."

Trent's greeting made my stomach flip, and to hide it, I frowned. It had only been a week since I'd run into him at the cafeteria but it was like I'd forgotten how sexy he was. As if my brain dulled the memory of his handsomeness to protect me.

"I don't have time for socializing, Mr. Holland." I eyed his crisp white shirt, striped, blue tie and dress pants that fit just right. Not that I'd seen the back view, but I remembered that view quite well and knew these navy pants would hug his spectacular ass.

"I'm not here for a social visit. I actually have a concern about a student we share."

My eyes flicked up to his. Waving a hand at the chair across from my desk, I said, "Please."

I watched as he took a seat. Although my mind was mostly focused on his mention of a student, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't notice the easy way his body moved, the definition of his shoulders, biceps and chest, that no amount of starched dress shirt could hide, and the way his legs fell open to make room for…

"It's Mira."

My focus snapped to attention again, and I closed my laptop, pushing it aside, to show him he had my full attention.

"Mira." I nodded, my stomach sinking. I'd helped her with her planner, making sure her schedule was doable. But now that Trent had mentioned it, I recalled noticing she still seemed a little frazzled. I'd made a mental note to follow up with her on it, but I'd forgotten, having been caught up in my game of cat and mouse with Trent.

Just another reason to feel like a jerk, I thought, letting out a long, tight breath.

"What's going on?"

He looked away. "I know you had to discipline her for her late assignment, and I see she's struggling with my assignments too. I'm new here, and if I didn't know you'd already dealt with this, I probably wouldn't be too worried yet. But I can't unknow it." His gaze landed on mine again and I saw more than just concern for Mira in it, but whatever else was mixed into his expression, it was indecipherable.

But yes, he was concerned. I bit my lip, lowering my eyes to my desk, wondering if I should tell him what I knew, or send him to Master Derek. Shame hit at my last thought. I was Mira's professor; I had an obligation to her. I should be able to set aside my personal feelings to talk to another of her professors, whether that be a colleague I disliked, or one I'd had a crush on who sent me running. I was nothing if not professional.

Yeah, and how professional was it to leave your last university with barely any notice?

It's been three years, I've changed.

I brushed my mind's argument aside and focused on Trent. My eyes found his immediately as if the path to them was so worn I could traverse it unconsciously.

"Your class is an extra for her. She already had a full schedule before signing up for your class. Master Derek gave her special permission because she's desperate to finish her degree early."

He looked sideways. "Maybe that explains why she fell asleep in my class today." When his gaze swung back to mine, he gave me a tight grin. "Thought I was becoming a bore in my old age."

He was good at comedic relief, so I returned a quick grin. "Please refrain from using the term old . We're the same age."

His smile widened and so did mine.

"Right, Sorry. After thirty-five, we use the word experienced, right? That's what the handbook says?"

"Exactly." We shared a small laugh but then I opened my laptop and pulled up Mira's schedule. We hadn't actually been able to meet to work on it like we'd planned. She'd emailed me to say she wasn't at the Ranch. Something last minute had come up. So we'd made her a planner online in a shared doc. I still had a copy.

Looking through it, I said, "I helped her with her planner a few weeks ago. It isn't overloaded, so unless her extracurriculars are keeping her up late, or she's taking on extra submissive duties, she shouldn't be having issues."

I glanced up at Trent and his eyes were soft on mine. Here was the man I was crushing on back when we worked together at Columbia. Another reason, besides being so relatable, why his students adored him. He cared.

"You took time to help her with her planner?"

I swallowed hard and nodded. "Of course."

"See this is why you leaving Columbia was such a shame. Professors like you are so rare."

"Same," I whispered, my gaze trapped in his. "But it's also good we're here. The Ranch is the perfect place for people like us. The students here, they're vulnerable in a way only we can understand, and they need people like us."

"Agreed."

I swallowed again. His look was too intense, too much like an x-ray machine, seeing through me to my deepest parts. Breaking eye contact, I looked at the day before on Mira's schedule.

"She was off last night, not just off from her duties, but completely free." I twisted my lips, drumming my fingers on the desk as I recalled our conversation that night. "She actually requested that I leave it free, and not even put a study session in that time block. Seemed secretive about it, not that I pried."

"Should I go to Master Derek? I'm concerned. Maybe she's being taken advantage of?" He rubbed the back of his neck. Why was that, mixed with his concern, so sexy?

"Not here. Everyone is vetted so well. There's no way."

"She's a smart girl. Really sharp in class. Asks intelligent questions, stays engaged in lectures, besides today . It would be a shame if she failed because she didn't do the assignments." He paused, letting out a slow breath. "Maureen, I want this girl to succeed."

"I do, too." I tried to think back to my last few classes. Had she been any different?

I sighed, cursing under my breath. I'd been too self-absorbed to notice.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just should have been paying better attention. I've been caught up."

He reached out and took my hand. Instinct had me wanting to pull away, but when I looked up at Trent, I noticed I wasn't the only one beating myself up.

"If I'm the reason you've been ‘caught up?—'"

I cut him off. "I'm a big girl, Trent. I can take responsibility for my own actions."

Almost as if I'd walked into a trap, I stiffened, expecting him to say something Dom-ish, like "but you don't have to take so much on" or "this isn't your fault" or "I can help relieve some of that guilt" but he didn't, he just nodded solemnly.

It was as if he respected my words. As if he knew I was an actual person with autonomy. As if he didn't think I needed someone to make decisions for me, forgive me, or make things right. Huh.

"I didn't mean to imply…" This time he let his words trail off.

"Leave this with me, Trent. I'll connect with Mira and once I get more information, I'll loop you in and we can move forward accordingly."

Standing, he nodded. "Okay."

I stood too, not wanting him to tower over me. "Okay?"

He cocked his head. "Were you expecting an argument?"

I gathered a strand of my hair and twirled it between my fingers. "Maybe."

"I'm new here, Maureen, and deferring to you makes sense."

His words landed unintentionally hard in realization. I'd been letting my baggage (thank you, Mother) distort my impartiality. I hadn't been objective at all when it came to Trent. I'd been so worried a dominant man would chew me up and spit out a new version of me, one he'd created, that I'd lose the person I fought so hard to become, that I'd put Trent in a pre-drilled hole, one he didn't actually fit into.

I hadn't healed. I hadn't cut the puppet strings my mother still held from the grave.

"I'm feeling edgy suddenly. Been cooped up in this office too long. Do you still run? We have some nice trails here." Swallowing hard, I forced the words out, knowing it was time to let the past go and accept that Trent was here to stay. It was time for a truce.