Chapter 9Sasha

Chapter

Nine

SASHA

I bit the inside of my cheek to hold in my cringe at the way his voice rasped out. It sounded so painful, as if his vocal cords were being scraped over gravel. I cleared my own throat on instinct, wishing I could help him, but knowing that showing any kind of pity towards him would only anger him and make him hate me more.

I shifted again, this time from discomfort, as I thought of what to say to him. I wasn’t sure what to say that wouldn’t make him feel bad for having missed out on so much of his brother’s lives. None of this situation was fair. So much had been stolen from Varos, and my heart ached for him.

“Uh, I’ve known Varek for about three hundred years. I’m actually one of his guards and help run his businesses. But you didn’t ask about me. Sorry.” I peeked over at him through my lashes to see his gaze trained on my lips. “Varek used to be considered the most powerful demon on the Earth realm for a very long time. He guarded the portal that leads into this forest. It’s the portal I am going to lead you to, actually. Then, a vampire friend of his found Valen. It turned out that they knew each other a very long time ago.”

“A vampire?” He asked, his eyebrows drawn together.

“Yes.” I thought of all the differences in the realms and what Varos had missed in his time of captivity and felt a deep sadness for him. “In the Earth realm, there are vampires. It’s a species of human that started out as a type of curse that was really a punishment. They are nearly as strong as demons but have several weaknesses. Unless they are very old, they can’t withstand daylight and have to sleep during the day. They also need to drink blood to survive.”

“Sounds similar to several breeds of demon.”

I nodded my agreement. “There are similarities in some ways. However, vampires have other abilities that they consider gifts. Some can shapeshift into animals. Others can read minds. It’s actually pretty interesting.”

“Tell me about Valen. He was always a cocky fucker.”

A laugh burst out of me at the comment before clearing it away. I couldn’t imagine Valen being a cocky asshole, not with how quiet he always was. “Valen actually had a pretty rough time of his life in the Earth realm. Neither of them knew who they were or what kind of demon. They had both lost their memories from the very beginning of their exile. Valen found out that he could make people sick, so he stayed away from all humans when he could. It’s only been since he found his mate that he has felt comfortable and in control enough to be around others.”

Varos leaned forward with interest. “Mate?”

I thought of our own connection and looked away from his handsome face. I blinked away any moisture that rushed to fill my eyes and noticed the roasting meat over the fire was a little past done. Oops. I held it out. “This one is a little toasty. Do you want it?” He reached out for it while using his empty stick to stab more raw meat. Once he had three pieces on it, he handed it over. Our fingers brushed, sending sharp tingles running up my hand and settling in the mating brand on my wrist.

“Um, yes.” I finally spoke to answer his question. “Both of your brothers have mates, and Varek’s mate recently had a baby.”

“I’m an uncle.” I looked over to see him studying his food, but I couldn’t miss the expression that he was trying to control.

I gave him a small smile that he never looked up to see. “Yes,” I said softly. “A little boy they named Aiden. He’s so sweet.”

Varos cleared his throat from the emotion. “And what about Vanthos?”

I shook my head slowly. “I’m sorry. No one knows where he is. It’s only been within the last couple of weeks that the brothers have started to remember. They have had everyone they could searching for him. And you.”

He gave a sarcastic laugh that sounded even harsher with the damage to his throat, making me flinch back from the hostility pouring from him. “They sent you? My enemy’s daughter was who they chose to rescue me from the hell I’ve been in? While they are enjoying their mates and having fucking babies.” He shook his head. “Fucking figures.”

I shook my head, tearing my gaze away from the hatred in his and focusing on the cooking. I kept my tone low and calm, hoping to diffuse some of his anger. Though it wasn’t Varek or Valen’s fault, Varos was still completely justified in his anger.

“It’s not like that. They don’t even know where you are. If they knew, they would have come for you. But the truth is, they can’t even enter the Underworld. Whatever curse or spell was used to erase their memories has also blocked them from returning here.”

From the corner of my eye, I could see him leaning closer to me, and I did my best to suppress a shiver of trepidation. There was a snarl on his face, making his handsome features look sinister. “If they don’t know where I am, then why are you here? Who sent you? Is this a ploy to trap me? Maybe you want to hurt me the way your dearest daddy has? Are you upset that he never let you have any fun?”

I dropped the stick I was using to roast the meat, uncaring how or where it landed. I knew he was upset for so many reasons, being abandoned not being the least of them. But I wouldn’t take his abuse. I stood to my feet slowly and looked down at him as I curled my sharp nails into my palms, feeling the sting of them pricking my skin. “I am nothing like my father. I ran away when he killed my sister. I never wanted to come back to this realm. Ever! I only returned because someone told me to find you. I risked everything for you. I’m still in danger if he finds me. You are worried about being locked back up and tortured? He would have no qualms about torturing me, too. Only he wouldn’t stop until I was dead.”

I lifted my chin, avoiding eye contact with the obnoxious asshole that I couldn’t help but feel sorry for. “I’m going to head outside to check the perimeter. I’ll be back in a little while.” Not needing to see more contempt coming from the male who was meant by the fates to be my mate, I turned on my heels and walked away.

As soon as I made it outside, I threw back my head and stared at the deep purple of the night sky. There were no clouds to block the two moons that were slowly rising from either direction on the horizon. Legend had it that the two moons were once deities who had fallen in love against the will of the other gods. They were punished harshly, being made to watch over the realm as the demons below found their fated mates, while they could only look at each other from afar. The only time they ever came face to face was in that one magical moment when the moons crossed paths. For that one very brief moment each night, they became one again.

I shook my head and blew out a heavy gust of air. It was okay. I had been without a mate for centuries. I didn’t need a man now. Maybe I would finally give in and start dating once I got back to the Earth realm the way everyone had urged me to do for so long. Then I shook my head when I remembered that was no longer an option. For as long as Varos was alive, he was the only male I’d ever want.

I stalked away from the opening of the cave, feeling a mixture of hopelessness and regret. I wished things could have been different between us. I obviously felt the draw to him as my fated mate, but it was more than that. I was attracted to him on a visceral level. I appreciated his rugged handsomeness. I understood his bitterness at being a prisoner. I could sense his longing for his brothers. And as much as he projected anger at hearing that his brothers had found their mates and even had a child, the deep longing and even happiness for his brothers was there. I knew there was so much more to discover about Varos, but just what I’d learned so far, I liked.

I continued walking, much further than was necessary, needing to get away from the turmoil that my mind and body seemed to stay in while in his presence. I scanned the land as far as I could while also stretching my senses. There were no dangers nearby, either demon or beast. I spotted a large boulder in the distance and headed in that direction, needing a place to stop and simply be .

After climbing to the top and settling on a relatively flat spot on the boulder, I hugged my knees to my chest. Turning my head to the side, with my eyes on the cave far in the distance, I rested my cheek on my knees. It was there that I allowed my hopes and dreams to rise to the surface.

I had never said it out loud to anyone in my life, but my greatest and most secret dream was to have babies. I wanted a lot of them. I longed to be a mother more than almost anything else. Only the dream of being loved deeply and passionately surpassed my longing for motherhood.

Everyone looked at me and saw the warrior. They knew me as the tough female who had no need for romance or companionship. On many levels, they weren’t wrong. It was just that those deep desires I kept hidden from everyone only ever existed alongside my hope for a mate.

As I sat on that boulder, I stared at the loss of a future I had hardly dared to consider a possibility. The hope had flared to life for the briefest of moments but had so easily slipped through my fingers as easily as the water from that pool in the cave. I felt the loss of the dream in my heart. I could truly say that the pain was the worst I had ever felt. My soul was screaming, and though my eyes remained dry, the pressure in my head grew and grew until I could no longer hold in the pain.

I turned, pressing my face against my legs, and screamed. I screamed so long and so fiercely that by the time the last echo of my pain faded from the night sky, my throat felt raw and bloody.

I had lost track of how long I had been sitting there on that boulder. I let out a deep sigh and struggled to my feet. My body felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds. I wished I could find a spot and curl up into a ball and sleep for a month. Maybe that was exactly what I would do once I made it back to Varek’s home with his brother.

The walk back to the cave seemed to take twice as long as the trek to the boulder. Once I saw the entrance, I came to a stop and looked up at the sky to see that the two moons were about to cross paths. I stared, fixated as the silvery orbs crept closer at a steady pace until they became one. Within seconds, they began to part ways, continuing on their individual journeys. I let out a shuddering breath and let my shoulders drop in defeat. If two deities couldn’t be together with the one they loved, what hope did I, the daughter of one of the most horrible monsters in the Underworld, have?

The soft trill of Max coming from the corner where he’d holed up after going into a food coma welcomed me back, and I gave him a small smile. I didn’t dare look toward Varos. My succubus nature was still deeply in need of sustenance and didn’t help the situation any. My only hope was that I could keep pushing it back until I made it to the Earth realm before I did something we both regretted. After I delivered Varos safely to his brothers, I would take a room in the sex club of Brimstone and lock myself in. There, I would get all the sexual energy I would need, and I would make sure I was never this depleted again. I was realizing that having my mate near was making the hunger worse, far faster than I had ever experienced or anticipated.

I strode through the front room of the cave and straight to the pool. I stripped off all my clothing, being careful with all my blades so as to not lose any in the dim lighting of the bioluminescent plants. Once I was naked, I did what Varos did earlier and jumped in, feet first, grateful that the bottom wasn’t so deep that I couldn’t stand.

The water was shockingly cold, making me shiver immediately. I’d swam in colder water on Earth, back before modern technology became a thing and bathing tubs were more abundant, but it had been a while. While I scrubbed furiously at my skin, which had been itching with the dried blood and caked-on dirt, I clamped my jaw closed to prevent my teeth from chattering.

I made quick work of washing myself without the aid of soap. It was just one more thing that I was kicking myself for not thinking of before running headlong into this quest of finding and retrieving Varos.

With shaky arms, I hefted myself out of the cold water. There was nothing to dry myself with, so it was a struggle to pull my jeans back on. I thought of how the moisture had made Varos’s pants cling to his legs and clearly outlined his cock. When I pulled my shirt over my head, I was trembling for a whole different reason. It seemed I didn’t need a visual of the male to turn my libido on. All it took was the memory of the brief glimpse I had of his long, thick…

Nope . I wasn’t going there. I had to focus on what was important, and that was surviving the wilds of the Underworld, evading any guards who might be looking us, and getting back through the portal.

I gathered up my jacket and the undergarments I didn’t want to put back on and slipped into the front room. This time, I couldn’t help but allow my gaze to find Varos in the darkness. The fire had died down to just burning embers. I made a mental note to grab more wood from the pile I had left outside. It was a pleasant temperature inside, but once the fire was out, it could get much cooler by dawn, and Varos had no clothing.

I grabbed my satchel from the ground, noting that it appeared to have been riffled through, and bit back a grin. I figured he wouldn’t have been able to contain his curiosity. I was surprised he hadn’t taken the clothing I brought for him. I would have to give them to him in the morning. I was sure he’d be more comfortable.

After adding more wood, I carried the satchel to the other side of the fire and sat down, adjusting the bag so I could use it for a makeshift pillow. It wasn’t the best or most comfortable way I’d ever slept. But, again, I’d had worse. Varos, obviously more so than me.

Once I was settled with my jacket draped over my torso and my head on my satchel, I searched in the darkness for Varos again, only to find his gaze already locked on me. A violent tremor rocked through me at the way his black eyes traced over me from my long, wet braid, down to my bare toes.

As heat flared to life in my belly, nearly burning me inside out with its intensity, I bit my lip so hard I could taste the coppery flavor of my blood. I squeezed my eyes closed, taking deep inhales to center myself, trying to push back the need for sex. The sound of a shifting body had my yellow eyes jerking back open.

“You are hungry.” It wasn’t a question, and I was glad to hear that much of the painful raspiness had gone, though his voice was still much rougher than either Varek’s or Valen’s. I wondered if it would ever fully heal, or if the injury to his vocal cords was so severe that getting nourishment after being starved for so long would never fully heal him. A part of me wished that it wouldn’t. Because, that rough, raspy voice? It made me shiver in the most delicious ways.

“I ate,” I whispered. And I had. Not much, but I wasn’t starved like he was. I’d also eaten the night before.

He shifted again, forcing my eyes to track every slow movement as his wings flexed and the shadows danced slowly around his figure. So his wings had healed as well. That meant his ribs should be back to normal. It was too dark to see, but I was curious if his broken horn had grown back yet.

“Your succubus,” he practically purred, his voice making me think of a lion seducing his lioness. “She’s starving. Isn’t she?”

I shivered again and pulled the leather jacket tighter around my shoulders. Before I could admit or deny his words, he spoke again.

“Don’t lie to me, princess. I can taste your pheromones on the air. When was the last time you had sex?” The last words were said in a lower, deadly tone. The menacing quality to them instantly had the fine hairs on my body standing on end. It was impossible to forget that I was in the presence of a deadly predator. He was, if not fully healed, close to it and would be a formidable foe for anyone.

“I-I haven’t,” I whispered again.

“You haven’t fucked anyone in so long that your succubus is starving.” He cocked his head to the side, studying me. “Why would you do that to yourself? You know you’re beautiful. You would draw men to you—just like the deadliest flowers in the Underworld draw their victims in before they suck them dry.”

I shook my head and closed my eyes. That was how he saw me and it hurt. It hurt so badly because that was how my father was, and I never wanted to be like him. To have my mate think of me in that way tore my heart to shreds.

“So why don’t you take care of yourself?” I opened my eyes wide, a question undoubtedly in my shocked expression. He waved a clawed hand in my direction. “Stick your hands down your pants and fuck your cunt with your fingers.”