Ménager bébé

In the late afternoon, Nour led Matisse to Charlotte's door, carrying a dish for her girlfriend. She was nervous as hell. It'd been difficult enough to tell Matisse she was transgender—a piece of news he had taken incredibly well. Matisse didn't express many thoughts on her being poly, except for saying he was willing to learn.

That was only the beginning. Nour then had to admit she was already partnered with Charlotte, who was also in a committed relationship with both Noah and Yohan, who also had lovers of their own on the side. That was when Matisse's eyes had bulged out, though he remained silent on the entire subject. He simply said he wanted to give Nour a chance and see how that went. He wasn't open to being poly himself, however, and he'd made it crystal clear he was straight as a rod.

There would be no sharing others with him like she had with Noah, no joking around about which person they'd nail together, or who could win the contest of seducing the cutest human at the bar first. Though she still dated Charlotte, she hadn't slept with Noah in years, but they still enjoyed joking around and competing for someone's attention when they were out .

Nour feared all that fun might be over if she wanted to go steady with Matisse. They'd only been dating for a few months, but she could feel herself falling in love with him. That alone was terrifying. She hadn't trusted anyone but Charlotte to hold her heart in a very long time.

She cleared her throat and rang the doorbell. Ten seconds later, she took a step back and blinked, surprised to see Rapha?l open to her.

"What? Seen a ghost?" he asked.

"I thought it was just Charlotte tonight," she said, trying hard not to sound rude. Yohan and Noah were out on a date for the evening.

He gave a smile, his white teeth flashing. "Nope. Disappointed?"

She shrugged and pointed at Matisse with her thumb while introducing him. Her boyfriend was overdressed for the occasion, as was his habit. He wore a dark marine-blue suit over a spotless white button-down shirt, highlighting the gorgeous tint of his dark brown skin. His beard was trimmed to a mere stubble, his hair cut in a mid-fade with a short frohawk. He was dashing as he extended his hand to shake Rapha?l's.

"Are you Noah or Yohan?" Matisse asked.

Rapha?l laughed. "I'm Rapha?l."

Matisse looked at Nour from the corner of his eye, and Rapha?l moved to the side to let them in. They entered Charlotte's house, which was strangely cold, giving Nour a chill. She heard a baby crying from upstairs as she took off her shoes and invited Matisse to do the same. She smiled when she realized even his white socks were immaculate, like everything else about him.

"Is that for Charlotte?" Rapha?l asked, looking at the vegetarian quiche in Nour's hands.

"Yes. I know it's a lot for her to care for the baby and cook and everything."

Rapha?l nodded, took the dish from her, and led them down the hallway as if the house were his. He asked them to wait in the living room. Nour shook her head at his pompous behavior, as if they were on some official visit of some sort, but she took Matisse to the couch and sat down next to him.

Low voices erupted, followed by footsteps and louder wailing from the baby. Charlotte made her entrance, wearing sweat pants and a magenta t-shirt over her engorged breasts. Her nipples were pointed under her nursing bra, and there was a breastmilk stain on the front of her outfit. In spite of her hair being an absolute mess, she was gorgeous enough to make Nour sigh at the sight of her.

She gave a beautiful smile—one of her front teeth crooked—and held the baby to her chest as she leaned forward to give Nour a slight kiss on the lips. Nour held her breath. She hadn't thought of that tiny detail. She looked at Matisse quickly and found him staring a bit too hard before Charlotte caught his attention and kissed him on both cheeks twice.

She backed away and let herself drop in the armchair on Nour's left. "It's so nice to meet you," she exclaimed, cheerful as ever. She took in Matisse's attire and sighed. "Sorry I'm dressed like a slob. Honestly, I'm exhausted and kind of gave up on looking presentable at this point."

Nour wanted to tell her that she was the sexiest slob she'd ever seen, but she wasn't at a stable enough point in her relationship with Matisse to risk flirting with her girlfriend right in front of him. It was strange for her to date a straight man who was fully monoamorous, and the territory felt wobbly at best.

Silent as ever, Matisse dismissed Charlotte's words with an elegant wave of his hand and smiled at her. His back was ramrod straight, his leg twitching to the point where Nour had to place her hand on it for him to relax. The shaking lessened but didn't fully disappear.

"What can I get you to drink?" Rapha?l asked.

Matisse stared at him with wide eyes. Nour wasn't sure why until he turned to her and whispered, "Does Rapha?l live here as well?"

Obviously, the wheels were turning in his head.

"No, he lives downtown with his husband," Charlotte replied casually.

Matisse's body tensed for a second, maybe from realizing he hadn't been so discreet, before his muscles loosened as if the knots of anxiety unfolded at last.

"He's not part of… I mean…"

"No, he's not part of our polycule, if that's what you're wondering." Charlotte was very sweet about it all while Rapha?l didn't seem so comfortable. He asked again what everyone wanted to drink and left the room as if he couldn't get away fast enough.

Nour laughed silently. What a coy-acting man for someone who's so naughty in the sack, she thought. She knew all the stories. Charlotte had told her long ago—about Rapha?l, Adrien, Noah, and her, all four of them in the same bed. And it'd happened more than once in one night before Charlotte and Noah grew steady.

"You've never…?" Matisse asked, his eyes lowering to his twisted hands as if he didn't dare speak the words.

Nour cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, but Charlotte laughed. She wasn't so shy about everything. At least, not in the privacy of her own house. Outside in public was a different story entirely. "Yes, Rapha?l and I have had sex…if that's what you're asking."

"Oh." Matisse looked at Nour, who raised both hands.

"Nope, I've never slept with Rapha?l," she said, sending Charlotte an accusatory look, her brows furrowed. She remembered too well those times the four of them had failed to invite her to their fuckfest. She was still bitter about it, especially after Adrien and Rapha?l closed their marriage to any type of playtime, proving Nour had missed her chance entirely. She'd heard enough about Adrien's prowess in bed from Noah. He'd promised she could join someday, and she never did.

Matisse caught on to the glare she was sending her girlfriend and seemed puzzled how to interpret it. Nour tapped him on the hand .

"All you need to know is I'm dating Charlotte. And that's it. I haven't been with Yohan or Rapha?l or Adrien." She meant to add "unfortunately," but restrained herself at the last moment. "So how come Rapha?l is here tonight?" she asked to distract her boyfriend from the topic at hand.

"Adrien is on a date with Eléanor."

Nour raised an eyebrow. She had no idea who that was, as she wasn't aware they had opened their marriage. She wondered how that made Noah feel, and whether he'd want to be with Adrien again.

"Rapha?l is spending the night," Charlotte added. "Platonically." She emphasized the last word while staring Matisse in the eye.

Rapha?l walked in right then with various bottles of Perrier, Badoit, and some sodas. "Charlotte is helping me on my current project," he explained.

Nour rounded her eyes at her girl. "I thought you were on maternity leave for a few months."

"I am." Charlotte was to be off for five months before she would regain her position in the company. She could have taken up to two years without pay, but she refused to stay inactive that long. "This is our project, though. I worked hard on it before Iris was born, and I want to help Rapha?l complete it." She glanced at her baby, who was now asleep in a tiny bed by the couch.

Nour looked at Rapha?l. "Don't work my girl too hard; she's exhausted."

"I know. "

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here. By the way, I saw you brought a quiche. Are you two staying for dinner?"

Nour shook her head. "Nope. You have too much on your plate already. We are not going to impose. That dish is for you, ma chérie . And tell Noah and Yohan I'd better not hear they ate it all."

Matisse frowned right then, and Charlotte bent her head to the side, looking at him. "Yes, Matisse?"

"Well…" He scratched the back of his head. "Nour told me you met Yohan three years ago."

"Yup."

Matisse seemed confused. "But the pandemic started shortly after that. How did you meet with Yohan? I don't understand."

Charlotte laughed. "You know those little paper slips we had to sign to get out of the house for an hour each day?"

Matisse nodded.

"So, Noah and I each used our slips to go to Yohan's place and stay there. Or Yohan would use theirs to come meet us."

Matisse frowned. "But socializing wasn't allowed."

Nour laughed out loud. "You've never seen Noah horny, and it shows. Nothing can stop that man from getting his fun."

Matisse choked on his Perrier and coughed in his sleeve.

Charlotte smiled and blushed all at once. "I never said it was allowed, Matisse. But Nour is right: when Noah has his eyes set on someone, no one can stop him, except that very person—if they reject the offer, though I'm not aware of that ever happening. "

Matisse nodded, his eyes round. He was almost coy; it was so cute.

The conversation unfolded, and Matisse began to relax the longer he spent there. Charlotte insisted they all eat the quiche. It could be an apéritif amélioré —a small casual gathering that wasn't truly a meal.

By the time Matisse and Nour left, it was nine P.M., and Charlotte was yawning while the baby was asleep. This time, Nour dared kiss Charlotte, complete with tongue, while Matisse tried hard not to stare at his girlfriend making out with another woman.

"We're leaving now," he whispered in her ear when Nour was done French kissing Charlotte.

"Yeah, okay." She worried she might have vexed him, but when she felt him against her back as he pushed her out the door, she was shocked to find him aroused.

"That was hot, and I want you right now," he whispered against her neck. He seemed to be acclimating to the idea of her being poly quite well after all.

***

"Want to watch a movie?" Rapha?l asked once they were gone, though he believed Charlotte was probably ready to sleep.

"Yes, please."

"You're not too tired? "

"I am, but you're my guest, and Iris is sleeping. Will you help me feed her if she cries at night?"

Rapha?l was more than happy to oblige. Since the baby was born, he'd spent more and more time here. The need to have a child with Adrien grew a bit more each day, tearing through him like a sword. He couldn't stop the feeling that something was missing from their relationship. Not that having a baby was an obligation—it was quite heteronormative to think so—but it was a deep insatiable need he had and could no longer deny. Adrien had what he wanted—an open marriage where he could date Eléanor—but where did that leave Rapha?l?

"Can we watch it in the bedroom, though? I rest better there."

Rapha?l shrugged. "Sure."

He followed her up the wooden steps all the way down the hallway to the bedroom she shared with Noah and Yohan. He'd been here more than once to help take care of Iris. He reveled in his role as godfather, really, and couldn't get enough of staring at his goddaughter.

"Don't worry. I changed the bed," Charlotte said with a snort when he stood by the door.

He nodded and proceeded forward, sitting down at the edge while she shuffled through a box to find the remote.

"I'm in the mood for a comedy. How about you?" she asked.

"Yep." He didn't really care either way, honestly. He was just here to enjoy his time with the baby, who was fast asleep in her tiny bed on Charlotte's side .

Charlotte nearly jumped on the comforter and came to sit next to him as he reclined against the pillows, and she curled her body against his chest. It always baffled him how they'd gone from lovers to friends-with-benefits to platonic best friends who loved to cuddle every once in a while.

Charlotte's large bosom moved against his torso as she gave a deep sigh and turned on the TV. She shifted through the streaming channels until she found all the comedies.

" Le D?ner de cons or Camping ?" The choice was between a movie about a man hosting a meal each year where he and his friends invited various nerds, or a movie about the French art of camping and partying.

" Le D?ner de cons . I really miss Jacques Villeret," he said of the French actor who had passed away two decades prior.

"Would you rather watch La Soupe aux choux ?" she asked.

"Nah, I've seen that movie hundreds of times as a kid. I'm good."

"How many times have you seen Le D?ner de cons then?"

Rapha?l shrugged. "I dunno. Ten times."

Charlotte burst out laughing, covering her mouth when Iris shifted and whined in her bed. Thankfully, she didn't wake up. Charlotte pressed "play" and settled back against him.

"Florian told me my sadness over Villeret's demise can't compare to Enzo's obsession with Gaspard Ulliel and the crying he did when he passed away. He had a hard time getting over that."

"That was terrible indeed."

Rapha?l nodded .

He knew from experience she liked to talk a lot during movies, and tonight was no exception. The movie had barely started when she questioned him. "Does it bother you that Adrien is spending the night with Eléanor?"

Rapha?l thought about it before replying, "I mean, I miss him. But he's been so much healthier. That's all I want. To see him happy."

"Okay. But are you happy?"

Rapha?l didn't know how to reply to that tricky question.

"I've seen the way you look at Iris," she added, watching her cute baby girl for a few seconds.

"Yeah?"

The credits were done playing, and the movie started, but Charlotte kept interrogating him. "D'you wish you had one of your own?"

"Adrien is against it. So I don't foresee a baby in our future." His heart squeezed like a vise upon saying the words. He hated that feeling. His eyes prickled, but he refused to dwell on the feeling.

"Isn't it a bit selfish of Adrien to get what he wants while you don't?"

She had hit the nail on the head. Yet, he couldn't help but defend his spouse. "Sleeping around is less commitment than a baby."

She rolled her eyes while staring him straight in the face before settling back down. "I know that. But relationships are a give and take. You gave him something. Now where's yours?"

"He's happy. "

"But you're not." She tapped his chest. "And don't lie to me saying you are because I've known you for six years. I know better."

Rapha?l didn't reply. If he were honest with himself, he hadn't been happy in a long time. He just couldn't see a solution to his issue. He couldn't force his husband to adopt a child against his will. They'd started pondering the idea of the home for LGBTQ kids, but Rapha?l already knew that wouldn't be enough. Nothing seemed to fill the void inside his heart anymore. Nothing, not even his husband's bottomless love for him.