6. Ricky

SIX

Ricky

“I don’t need to take any more of those damn painkillers. They make me feel fuzzy and I can manage without them.”

My head is killing me and my mouth is so damn dry that it’s not funny. But I would rather keep my wits about me. Because I know that Caro has been back here since that first night and the damn pain made me so loopy that I said stupid shit and passed out. I don’t need loopy drugs too.

I want to know what the hell she’s doing taking a job here. Surely, she’s not thinking that she’s going to stay around here. That’s gonna be awkward as hell for the both of us. I expected her to leave already.

I don’t understand why she felt like she had to come back to tell me about the baby. The shock of that is wearing off along with the anger that helped carry me through the initial shock.

Now, all that’s left is sadness for what we both lost and an insane need to look at Caro. To stare into her cool gray eyes and see if I see the same feelings that I used to see.

I close my eyes and ignore Sebastian’s chattering with his wife. The two of them will be leaving soon to head back to Misty’s place. They’ve been rebuilding her home and I’ve taken over Sebastian’s house. I’m still deciding if I’m gonna buy him out or take it over or what. Or are we going to split the land? That’s a different mess for a different day. All that doesn’t matter. I don’t care about any of that right now.

I don’t know why but since the damn bear attacked me and she was here with the doctor, I’ve been haunted by the scent of her, the feeling of her delicate, cool fingers touching my skin so gently, softly.

If she’s actually staying here, what does that mean? Why is she staying here and what does that mean for me? For us?

Why the hell should I give a damn about any of that? We’re over, right? Right. There is no us. Hell, maybe there never was an us.

There’s a knock at the door and Misty goes to open it. She’s gone for a few minutes and I lie back, closing my eyes. I hear Misty talking to someone but I don’t open my eyes.

At least until I smell her. Soft, floral, intoxicating. Cool fingers touch my brow lightly and when I open my eyes, she pulls her hand back quickly.

My own hand darts out and catches her wrist. She gasps and stills immediately. Warmth coats my skin and oozes through my body at just the slight touch of her soft skin.

“Let me go, Ricky,” she says quietly, her soft gray eyes darting over to Misty and Sebastian. The two of them are, as usual, wrapped up in their own little world.

“What are you doing here, Caroline?” I sigh, not letting her go. Instead, my thumb gently rubs along her wrist, turning her hand over, enthralled and somewhat appalled at how much I want her. My dick jerks in my sweat pants and I shift to make sure that the blanket covering me keeps her from spotting my semi.

Light swirls through the room as the sun goes down and orange rays gild the familiar great room that I love. Comfortable and warm. It’s a room that begs for a family and I feel longing stir inside me. A longing to have that. With this woman.

But I’m not sure if I can actually trust her and there’s still hurt over her sudden reappearance and the bomb she lobbed at me. A pang of pain hits my chest and I fight it.

She settles and her eyes drop to my hand where my thumb is still rubbing her wrist. I still and wait.

“I’m just here to check to see how you’re doing. Change your bandage. That kind of thing.”

“Are you sure that’s all?”

She jumps but it’s so slight that I almost miss it. A subtle move that if I wasn’t so focused on her every breath, every little, tiny piece of her, I might have missed it.

“Yes,” she huffs. “What else could it be, Ricky? You’ve been very clear that you don’t trust me. Don’t want anything to do with me.”

She draws back and I let her hand go, every particle of my being fighting it.

“Why should I when even now I know you’re not being honest with me. There’s still something you’re hiding.”

“It’s not my story to tell.”

“Fine.” My voice is curt and louder and Misty and Sebastian turn around and eye us.

Sebastian smiles. “Everything okay? We’ve got to get going. Your dinner is in the fridge when you get hungry, man.”

I nod my head at him. “Thanks for coming by. Good to see you again, Misty.”

I can see her small smile out of the corner of my eye, unable to look away from Caro’s soft, dove-gray gaze.

“Have a good night, Ricky.”

It only takes them a second to leave and then I’m alone with her. The floral scent of her wafts around me as she backs away a step. I take a deep breath feeling my dick stirring again.

No matter how bad I’m feeling, I’ll never be able to look at her and not feel my blood stirring, my body heating.

My heart aching.

When the door slams behind them, I nod at her. “You can go too, you know.”

She sighs and sits down on my sofa, eyeing me like I’m about to bite her.

“I want to explain some of what happened to you, but I can’t go into detail about my sister’s problems.”

“Your sister? Did you tell me you have a sister when you were here before?” I don’t remember that but then again, she wasn’t here long and we had other things on our minds.

“No.” She shakes her head, her auburn hair sliding across her slim shoulders. “I actually don’t have much to do with her. We kind of fell out when I got married. He hated her with a passion. So we drifted apart. She’s a bit of a diva and a little bit of trouble.”

“What happened to your husband? You never told me about him.”

Once again, not much time to go over those kinds of things.

She lifts her head proudly. “He cheated on me. And then he was in an accident coming home from a late-night trip to be with her. He died.”

I wince. Ouch!

“So how long have you been a widow?”

“Only about two years.”

“Was your husband good with your son, Christopher?”

Another wince, this time from her. “No.” Her response is short and not-so-sweet.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She nods her head and stands, pacing. “That’s part of what made me so eager to get out of here when we got involved.”

Ouch again!

She faces me and smiles slightly when she sees my face. “Not how you’re thinking. I was so confused about what was happening with us. I never wanted to get involved with another man after my husband died. I intended to stay a single parent and the only man in my life was going to be my son. Then I met you and it was instant sparks. Instant need.”

My breath stalls. She’s baring herself to me. Emotionally, not physically. But it’s strong and her eyes hold mine. No tentative shrinking violet there.

“And? What happened to make you run then?”

“Christopher for one. We were only here on vacation and I needed to take care of some things with him.”

“So why not just tell me that? Why just take off with no word.”

Her head hangs down and her shoulders slump. She turns away, pacing. “I know you won’t understand this but I haven’t felt very attractive for a long time. Not after my husband cheated on me. I just didn’t trust what was going on here. I felt like it was too much too soon. I was afraid you didn’t have the same feelings. As a matter of fact, it seemed like you didn’t. It seemed like you were bound and determined to be as mysterious, as detached, as you could be.”

I nod my head. “After Vera, I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I wasn’t sure what to think about us. Don’t you remember I even told you that I wasn’t looking for anything serious?”

She nods her head, a slight smirk. “Yeah. That was an interesting first date. I’ve never had a man sit me down on a first date for a long talk about the fact that he’s not looking for a girlfriend or anything remotely serious. Maybe that’s one of the reasons that I didn’t think you’d care one way or the other if I came back. I don’t know.”

I’ve made a helluva lot of mistakes with Caro. I’m not sure where we stand or where we’re going from here. But the one thing that I do know is that I missed her.

And maybe that means that I’m not really as mad at her as I am at myself.

Maybe I’m the fuck-up here.

Not her.