Chapter 5 - Astrid

Rand opened the door to his house and motioned for me to go inside. "Ladies first," he said.

"Still the gentleman, I see," I said dryly.

"Come on. You know I've never been a gentleman." He winked.

I bit back an unbidden smile and brushed past him, catching a whiff of maple. God, how did his scent still have an effect on me all these years later?

I glanced around the house. He had done well for himself, it seemed, because we had stepped into the foyer of a large, two-story house. I caught a glimpse of a spacious living room with a massive TV through one door, and down the hall, I could see what looked like a large state-of-the-art kitchen.

Annoyance raced through me. He'd done well for himself without a thought for us while Thea and I had scraped by for most of our lives. Falling in with Ansel had helped. He at least paid well, even if what I had been doing for him was less than legal. But the fact that I'd had to go through that just to make ends meet while Rand hadn't irked me.

I kept my hands at my side, trying to stop them from curling into fists. For the briefest of moments, after the Silver Wolves had taken me in and looked after me, I had hesitated and begun to wonder if I was making a horrific mistake by working with Ansel. But seeing Rand's house had re-instilled that need for revenge. The fact that he'd managed to get away with dumping me the way he had, only for his life to have turned out just fine, made me bristle with injustice. It wasn't fair.

And yet, even amid the annoyance, the briefest hint of amusement crept through. He might have had a massive house, but it was a complete pigsty. Apparently, he had kept his perpetually messy habits in the time we'd been apart. Something about it sparked a warm familiarity. We had always argued about it, but by the time he left, it had transformed into something closer to a ritual, one that we'd both enjoyed for some inexplicable reason.

"You've got a couple of rooms you can pick from," he said, pulling me from my thoughts. "I'd suggest the one at the top of the stairs and to the left. It has a bathroom attached."

"Thanks," I said.

"Of course." He jerked his head up the steps. "Get settled. Take a shower, if you want. We can catch up after."

The instant he suggested it, I realized how exhausted I was and how much my muscles ached. I'd been traveling for a while, and a shower sounded like heaven.

"Yeah, I'll do that," I said. "Thanks."

I stayed in the shower until my fingers turned pruny and the soreness in my shoulders and legs ebbed. When I dried off and headed downstairs, I could smell freshly brewed coffee.

"That smells amazing," I said when I reached the kitchen.

"You know me. I'm addicted to coffee." Rand appeared behind me, brushing past to get the carafe. His maple scent mixed with the aroma of coffee, and it was annoyingly pleasant.

He poured two cups of steaming coffee and sat across from me. "Do you need food?" he asked.

"I'm still full from the mansion," I said. "But thanks."

Silence hung in the air for a moment as both of us struggled to figure out what to say next. There was so much unsaid between us that it was hard to sort out what needed to be said, and what we'd rather keep buried.

He broke the silence. "You mentioned Thea. How is she?" He sipped his coffee.

"Good," I said simply.

"Hard to imagine her grown up." He cracked a grin. "I always remember her as the little kid who trailed you around."

Despite myself, the edge of my lip quirked upward as the old memories flooded back to me. "That sounds a lot like her," I acknowledged.

"Think she'll be all right?" he asked.

Unlike a lot of people, Rand had never treated Thea any differently for being an absent. He'd been almost as protective of her as I was. And when you had a massive shifter staring you down, you think twice about picking on the girl standing next to him.

I nodded. "She's able to take care of herself. I convinced her to take some self-defense classes and things like that. You never know when you're not going to have someone to watch your back."

His jaw twitched. "You don't think the guys will come after her since you got away?"

"Doubtful," I said dismissively. "You know how most shifters treat absents. They assumed I thought her a liability. And even if they didn't, it's not really me they want. They aren't going to think you'll go after someone like her. I'm going to call her, though, and give her a heads-up, tell her to keep an eye out just in case. But I think she's safer where she is." I took a sip of coffee and sighed. "You still know how to make an incredible cup of coffee," I admitted.

"Better, if you ask me," he said smugly. "You think I was a coffee snob back then? It's only gotten worse."

I gave an amused smirk before taking another drink, inhaling the aroma. I may have gripped the cup a bit tighter when his voice cut through the temporary tranquility again.

"So, what have you been up to?"

I shrugged, trying to keep my voice neutral despite the annoyance running through me. It didn't feel as though he had the right to ask that type of question.

"This and that," I finally said.

"Very descriptive," he remarked.

I shot him a look and opened my mouth to fire something off at him, but cut myself off when I saw him smirking at me. He was just messing with me.

I glowered at him. "I don't see how it's any of your business, really."

"Probably not." He shrugged. "But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to ask. It's good to see you." He paused. "I wish it were under different circumstances, to be clear. But I am glad you showed up."

I looked away, trying to hide my annoyance even as it bristled under my skin. After the way he'd left, he didn't have the right to say any of this. On top of that, he was talking as though it was an amicable, mutually agreed upon type of thing. It hadn't been.

And yet, despite my grumbling and protests, it was good to see him, too. Something about seeing him sparked something I hadn't realized was still there. I felt like I could breathe easier. The best way I could describe it was that feeling you get when you've been sick for a long time and one day, you wake up feeling better. That's what it felt like with Rand. Which just made me more annoyed.

"What about you?" I asked. "How did you become a Silver Wolf?"

He shrugged, leaning back in his chair and kicking his bare feet up on the table, just the way he had when we lived together. "Fairly straightforward. You know I joined that group of monster hunters. I stayed with them for a few years, wandering around the States and taking care of threats, all that fun stuff. It was great, and I was good at it. Felt like I was making a difference, you know?"

"Sure." It's what Rand had always said he wanted: to be able to make a difference. It was a good thing. Noble. I just wish that need hadn't resulted in him leaving me out to dry.

If he guessed what was running through my mind, he didn't let on. Instead, he continued. "Anyway, at some point, the leader of the Silver Wolves—a guy named Malcolm, I'm sure you'll meet him at some point—found us and offered us the chance to join the Silver Wolves if we wanted. Similar work to what we'd been doing, but way better pay. The only downside was more structure and rules. Me and a couple others decided to give it a shot, so we went through tests for about a month. By the end of it, I was the only one who passed. I did that for another few years, but a large group of us decided on early retirement. We all ended up here in Brixton."

I raised my eyebrows. "Retirement? Based on the conversation you were having with your buddies, you sounded about as unretired as it's possible to get."

He let out a low chuckle. "Yeah, no kidding. They've definitely pulled us in for a few ‘one last job' jobs. But that's part of our life."

"So the Gray Wolf…" I said. "The council pulled you out of retirement to help with that?"

"Pretty much." His warm smile vanished as he removed his feet from the table and leaned forward. "Though I don't get how the Gray Wolf figured it out that quickly." A low growl grew in his throat, and he bristled. "But he's going to pay for dragging you into this. He's going to regret that one."

I tried to keep my face impassive. The whole thing felt so surreal, lying to Rand's face about an attack that had never happened and listening to him plan on handling my boss, who had sent me here in the first place.

I shifted in my seat, trying to process it all. Suddenly, I became inexplicably uncomfortable. I coughed, looking away, wanting to be anywhere but here. More than anything, I wanted to talk to Thea.

"Can I borrow your phone?" I asked. "I lost mine when… you know…"

He didn't hesitate, fishing it out of his pocket and handing it over. As he did, our fingers brushed against one another. I tried not to recoil, even as the electricity rippled through my fingers and up my body. For a moment, our eyes met, and I wondered if he was thinking the same thing I was.

I retracted my hand, running my fingers through my hair, trying to shake off the sensation.

"Take as much time as you need," he said.

"Thanks."

I walked up to the bedroom and closed the door. Looking outside, I could see the changing leaves rustling in the wind and could practically feel the cool autumn air on my skin. My wolf stretched, flexing her claws, wanting to run outside and breathe the fresh air and hunt, preferably with Rand's wolf by her side—

I pushed the thought from my mind, chastising myself. I needed to get my head in the game. This wasn't the time to play around with ideas like that.

Taking a deep breath, I dialed a number I knew from memory.

"Hello?"

"Hey, girl," I said, grinning. Hearing my sister's voice gave me a bit of peace. I relaxed a little, knowing she was okay.

"Astrid! How are you? I was really worried, actually. I'm guessing since you're calling from a random number that you've lost your phone?"

"Yeah. By the time I noticed, it was too late to turn back," I lied. The truth was, I had thought it would be too suspicious if I pretended I had escaped kidnappers with my phone still on me. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay! I'll be able to call you back on this phone—"

"Don't," I said quickly, trying not to sound too hasty or panicked. "I'll give you a call. I don't want to bother my friend lending me their phone."

"Right. Any update? How's it going?"

"It's… going all right," I said, glancing down at the floorboards as if expecting to see through them to where Rand was. "Complicated, but going all right. I'm at least where I'm meant to be."

"And you still can't tell me what's going on?"

I winced. "You don't want to know, trust me. It's nothing bad, but the less you know, the better."

A long silence filled the air, and I wondered if Thea had hung up on me.

"I don't know if I like this," she said after a long pause. "I know you said it was fine, but you're not instilling me with a whole lot of confidence."

I paced the room. "I know, but trust me. This will be over in a couple of weeks, and once it's done, it's all over." I thought briefly about all the good that money would do, the type of life we'd be able to live when all of this was over. Except, that glimmer of hope and exuberance felt tainted now, more bittersweet than it had before I'd arrived in Brixton. Before seeing Rand again.

I shook my head to clear it. It didn't matter. I was in the thick of it now. I couldn't back out even if I wanted to.

"I trust you," Thea said. After another pause, she added, "Please tell me they at least sent you somewhere cool. Like Hawaii, or even Yellowstone. Something neat like that."

"If only," I said. "No, it's just a small town. About a day's run."

"Well, I'm going to pretend you're at some luxury resort, anyway," she said, making me smile. "I've got to get going, but thanks for letting me know you got there all right."

"Of course. I'll give you a call soon, all right?"

"Sounds good." Then came a third pause, this one feeling heavier than the previous two combined. "Hey, Astrid?"

"What's up?"

Thea hesitated, and I could imagine her worrying her lower lip as she paced back and forth in our tiny house, the way she always did when she was nervous.

"Be safe, all right? I don't know what's going on, but just… be safe."

My heart lurched a little bit. "Come on, you know me," I said, injecting as much cheer as I could into the comment. "I'll be fine."