19. Jude

Chapter 19

Jude

Our preparations made, we headed back to camp and called it an early night. We retired to our beds to spend what could be our final moments with our mates. As much as I wanted to believe everything would be fine, I had to be realistic. There was a good chance some of us wouldn't be coming home. My wolf and I had already decided that if it came down to being captured or killed, we would rather die than go back. Now that I'd experienced what life had to offer, I refused to live out an existence without my mate. I would go crazy. I hadn't told Morgan, but I suspected he already knew, judging by the way he kissed me like there would be no tomorrow.

Our bodies entwined, we made love until Morgan cried my name, then he fell into an exhausted sleep in my arms. I didn't want to close my eyes. I wished I could stay just like this forever, and I clung to this moment of perfect bliss, etching it into my mind. I watched Morgan for hours, until I finally lost the battle and drifted off into a fitful sleep filled with looming shadows and unseen horrors.

Even in my dreams, my mind kept coming back to the possibility of my dad being alive, still in their clutches, and I knew I had to risk it, no matter what. He would've done the same for me.

We woke before dawn and dressed in silence. We'd said all we needed to say last night. Now, we spoke with gentle caresses and lingering looks.

Hand in hand, we trudged through the snow to the kitchen, and soon, one by one, the others began to wander in. The kids were bleary-eyed, their heads resting on their parents' shoulders; they weren't old enough to understand what was about to happen. Everyone ate a sparse meal, but it was clear we were just going through the motions. Nobody had much of an appetite, but we needed the calories. We couldn't predict what was coming, and we couldn't be sure when we might get another chance to eat a warm meal.

Shortly after dawn, we heard several engines approaching. "They're here," Shan said, stating the obvious, but it was the cue we'd been waiting for .

We convened outside as a group, watching as headlights cut through the trees. Two trucks and an SUV pulled into our camp, their tires cutting muddy tracks through the soft snow. They seemed too large for the clearing, the noise from the engines deafening as they reverberated off the close trees. When the engines cut out, the silence felt like a living thing, a shroud descending over us.

Silas kicked open the passenger seat of the lead vehicle with a metallic creak and hopped down, grinning wide. He looked jacked up, his eyes bright with excitement for the slaughter ahead. He clapped his hands once. "Shall we get this show on the road?"

I wished I had some of his optimism, but all I felt was grief and dread. I pulled Morgan close and kissed him hard, imprinting the feel of him into my soul. I pulled back with a breathless gasp. "Morgan…" I rasped against his lips.

He frowned up at me. "Why did that feel like a goodbye kiss?"

"Because I need you to stay here." I'd been putting off this conversation. I'd let him believe he was going to be a part of the siege because I didn't want to spend our last hours together fighting.

He was already shaking his head. "But… I'm coming with you." I watched the emotions play across his face, but it finally settled on stubbornness.

My eyes stung, but I refused to cry in front of him. That wouldn't make this any easier. "I can't put you at risk, put our child at risk." I slid my hand inside the gap of his jacket and put my palm over his flat stomach. "It doesn't matter what happens to me, so long as you're both okay."

"That's bullshit!" he shouted, grabbing at my shoulders. His face was a mask of fear, and angry tears spilled down his cheeks. "What happens to you matters to me !"

I was going to lose it. My wolf was howling about the separation, even though he agreed about the need to leave him behind. I felt like I was being torn apart. Being fated mates was supposed to mean we would be together forever, and leaving him so soon after being marked felt like I was being torn straight down the middle. Everything hurt.

He begged and pleaded, but I refused to change my mind. None of this mattered without him, and I would do whatever it took to ensure he stayed safe.

I kissed away his nos, his pleases, his I love yous. "I'm so, so sorry, Morgan." His lips were salty with tears. "Please, forgive me."

"Only if you promise to come back to me. Jude, I need you to come home."

And even though I knew it could well be a lie, I nodded. "I will always come home. "

Morgan wasn't the only one staying behind. Brody would be watching the kids, along with Mary, Stuart and Sasha, though the latter certainly wasn't happy about it. The passive omega actually put up a bit of a fuss, which wasn't at all like him.

"I have a really bad feeling about this," Sasha repeated, gripping Dawn's hand. "I should stay with you. What if you need me and I'm not there?"

She played it off like it was no big deal, rolling her eyes. "I'll be fine. In fact, it'll be easier if I'm not distracted trying to watch your clumsy ass." She winked and smiled to ease the sting, but she knew the danger and would say whatever it took to convince him to stay.

Vesta stood off to the side, frowning. She seemed confused, muttering to herself and tugging on the ends of her long hair, billowing unbound around her hunched shoulders. I didn't like seeing her agitated like this. If she'd had a vision about today, she'd lost it in her fracturing mind.

"Watch out for her?" I asked Morgan quietly, tilting his head with a finger under his chin toward the shaman. "She's too proud to admit she needs help, but left on her own, she might try to wander off."

Morgan blinked quickly, tears dropping from his lashes. He nodded shakily. "O-Okay. "

My mate and I weren't the only ones devastated by the separation. Pax was screaming the trees down, refusing to let go of his omega dad. It was a haunted sound, hitting a pitch that made my skin crawl. "Shh, it's okay, Pax," Dylan said, rubbing his back gently, while Tristan tried to untangle Pax's arms from Dylan's neck.

"Here, I'll take him," Morgan offered, since Brody's hands were full with Wynn, who was squirming and kicking because he wanted to help his best friend. Pax latched on to Morgan with his arms and legs, burying his face inside his jacket, and Morgan rocked and shushed the toddler. I savored the brief glimpse of what Morgan would be like as a father, in case I never got to see it for myself.

"Gimme a break," Silas muttered, rolling his eyes. "You're all a bunch of bleeding hearts. It's a wonder you ever get anything done between all the whining and crying."

"It's not our fault nobody loves you enough to care if you die," I snarled as I knocked his shoulder on the way by. He staggered a step and glared after me, but wisely held his tongue.

We loaded everyone up into our two vehicles, the rest climbing in with members of Silas's pack. "I'll ride with you boys, if it's all the same to you," Silas declared with no small amount of distrust. "I'd hate to be left out of all the planning." It was like he thought we were about to betray him, removing both threats at the same time.

I wished I'd thought of that.

As Shan steered our truck down the road, I glanced in the sideview mirror at Morgan, my heart breaking as he watched me leave.

Our truck was in the lead, Shan following the directions we'd planned with the map, the others trailing behind. We had about an hour to drive, and I let my eyes glaze over as the scenes from my nightmares overlapped the present blurring past outside the window.

As we got closer, I recognized the rural home where I'd stolen clothes from the line outside. And in the distance, I saw a barn bathed in morning sunshine, but in my mind, I could still see its outline gilded in the flash of lightning against a black backdrop. "Turn left here," I blurted before I'd even made the decision. Shan didn't question me, just followed my instructions.

"We're getting close now," I said through chattering teeth. My wolf was baying in my head. I closed my eyes, and behind my eyelids, I could see the lab so clearly. I'd sworn I would do whatever it took to stay away, and now here we were, back where it all began .

Shan pulled the truck off the road and parked, signaling to the others to get out. We were abandoning the vehicles for now. We would be on foot—or rather paw—from here.

We had hours of daylight left before we would make our move, and we put that time to good use. Opening one of the many unmarked crates we'd borrowed from Joe Caruso, we pulled out an expensive-looking drone to scout out ahead. I was totally clueless when it came to technology, but Tristan was all over it. We crept as close to the building as we could without being spotted, then launched the drone.

"That must be it," Tristan said. He scoffed, shaking his head. "Just looks like a warehouse. A whole secret lab hiding in plain sight, and nobody has a clue."

I leaned over his shoulder to get a look at the screen. Even seeing it from above, I broke out in a cold sweat. My stomach heaved, and I lurched away in case I lost my lunch.

I can't do this , I thought, hunched over with my hands on my knees, shaking in the sudden chill.

You can , my wolf replied, simmering with hot fury. I can . He'd been waiting all these years for a chance at a little payback, and nobody was going to stand in his way—not even me.

We made our move after dark.

The lab had been quiet all day, from what we could see. A few guards patrolling the grounds, but otherwise, we hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone. It was impossible to guess how many people were inside, but nothing we couldn't handle—I hoped.

"Let's move out," Shan whispered, before allowing the shift to take over.

Half our group were going as our wolves—or panther, in Dylan's case—and the other half were wearing black body armor and carrying assault rifles. It probably should've worried me at how easily Silas's pack handled the guns, how natural they were with these unnatural weapons, but all I could feel right now was gratitude. I was glad they were on our side—this time.

We waited, crouched low to the ground, outside the electric fence. That was a new addition since my escape, but we were prepared for it. We gave the signal, and one of Silas's crew set about cutting the power from the junction box down the street.

It was torture to lie here in wait, my wolf's belly to the ground, not doing anything useful. We scanned the area, wary and watchful, our nerves fraying just beneath the surface. Nostrils flaring, we could smell the snow, the cold dead concrete, human sweat, and underneath it all… Dad .

He's alive! I cheered to my wolf, but it was too early to celebrate. We weren't out of the woods yet.

The floodlights across the parking lot went dark, enveloping us all in inky shadows. As soon as the warning hum of the fence's electric current cut out, one of the guys armed with wire cutters sheared through the chain links.

We slunk through the hole in the fence, half expecting a barrage of gunfire. They had to know we were here. But everything remained dark and silent as the grave.

"Where is everyone?" Damon whispered, voicing what we were all thinking.

Silas's Beta, Pacey, stepped to the head of the group and got down on one knee. His long hair was tied back in a sleek braid, and the armor seemed nowhere large enough for a man his size. "Stick to the plan." He lifted a large metal barrel to his shoulder; it smelled like metal, tar, and melted plastic. "Batter up," he said with glee, his white smile bright in the dark.

A slice of fire cut through the night, leaving a red trail across our vision. It impacted the solid wall of the warehouse with an almighty roar. My wolf shut our eyes tight against the flare of light, in an attempt to maintain our night vision, but we certainly felt the explosion. The ground vibrated under our feet, the very air pulsing through our fur with a wave of force.

And just like that, the solid wall that had been standing in our way was just… gone. In the distance, behind the crackling of flames and rattle of concrete, we heard startled cries of alarm.

We all raced across the empty parking lot on padded feet and combat boots. Climbing over debris and choking on smoke and dust, the armed shifters went in through the breach first, while the wolves waited outside. We heard a few shouts, swiftly cut off with a loud retort of gunfire. And then it was our turn.

Shan was at the head of our group, Silas's red wolf beside him, shoulder to shoulder. Dylan's panther blended in with the shadows as he slunk around to the right with lethal grace. Tristan went with him.

I wanted to go in, needed to, but our legs locked up. Let's move , my wolf growled, urging me to fight past the years of trauma. For Dad , he said, reminding me of what we were fighting for. For Morgan .

Fighting past the mental block, we were one of the last wolves through.

The hallway we entered didn't look familiar, though it was bathed in white from emergency lights, spattered with red mist from bullet wounds. It took a moment to get our bearings. Turning left, we were just in time to see a man in uniform rush around the far corner, handgun raised. Shan was ready and leaped at him, clamping his jaws down on the man's wrist and wrenching the gun to the side, where it fired harmlessly, the bullet lodging into the wall. Silas didn't hesitate, tearing into the man's thigh where there was no protection.

The guard went down with a scream that echoed in my ears. A pool of crimson spread across the familiar linoleum tiles while we ran past and around the bend into the hallway beyond. Our blood was pounding with the surge of adrenaline, the taste of iron on our tongue.

These people are not innocent , I reminded myself. They deserve whatever is coming for them .

I didn't need to give my wolf directions. He remembered our escape better than I did. We headed straight toward the dorm where we'd been kept.

We came to a halt in front of the door, staring at the red light. The door was locked, the backup generator keeping security intact. " Red means stop, green means go ," I heard my father say, the beginner reader open in his lap.

Dad…

Memories flooded through me in waves, remembered sights, sounds… smells. I couldn't tell if it was all in my head or if it was real. The chemical scent was so strong, it burned our nasal passages. It was bad enough when they'd drawn blood—so much worse when they injected some new concoction into my veins, trying to force my shift. It hurts… gods, I can't do this.

My wolf whimpered, our legs buckling beneath us, our head dipping low. " It'll just hurt for a moment ," Dr. Gray said, scalpel in hand.

" You'd better behave, or I'll take your sister instead ," he said, smiling through the threats.

" There's something wrong with you. You're broken ," he said with clinical efficiency when I failed to produce my wolf.

Now, unable to move, to even breathe, I wasn't just broken—I was paralyzed .

Jude! my wolf shouted, trying to bring me back, but it was too much. The shadows drew in from all sides, turning my vision black.

As lost as I was in the past, I barely registered the familiar beep, click as the door opened, the sound blending into the flood of memories. That sound meant the doctor was coming for me.

"What the fu—" The guard's voice snapped me back into the present. He hadn't seen us, unmoving, this low to the floor, and that was the only reason we weren't already dead.

The man was fast, but my wolf was faster. We slammed our forelimbs into the guard's chest, knocking him back through the open door. He fell backward, his head cracking against the floor. He lost his grip on the gun, and the weapon went clattering off to the side.

We lunged for his throat, but he brought his arm up in time, our teeth sinking instead into the thick fabric of his uniform. We wrestled with him, thrashing our head side to side, but the man was too big, too heavy, compared to our lithe lupine form.

He brought his leg up and over, pinning us between his thighs and squeezing. Our joints were screaming, but still we held on. If we lost our grip on that arm, we would be dead for sure.

"Fuck you," the guard cursed, punching our ribs with his free hand. When that didn't work, he tried hooking his fingers around our muzzle, prying at our mouth. "Open, you son of a bitch," he grunted.

I wasn't expecting the loud bang, the flash from the gun's barrel. I waited for the pain, waited for death, but it never came. Instead, the man's body went slack. He was dead .

Scrambling in panic, we wiggled out from under him, heaving for breath.

A man stood over us, dressed in light blue scrubs now decorated with blood spatter. He still held the gun pointed at the guard's dead body, glaring at the corpse with cold blue eyes.

I took my skin, stumbling to my feet. "Dad!"

His head jerked up. "J-Jude?" His mouth gaped open as he blinked in confusion. "They told me you were dead." My dad reached out to touch me, as if to check that I was real, and I grabbed his hand, dragging him in for a hug.

"I'm alive," I confirmed. My dad had always seemed so much larger than life, but in the years since I'd last seen him, I'd grown up. I was inches taller, broader, and he seemed so frail in my arms.

Dad pushed off my chest and looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. He set a hand on my cheek, chuckling as he brushed the light beard I'd grown. His sob was at odds with his beaming smile. "I wasn't sure you would ever get the chance to grow up, but here you are, a man—and a wolf!"

As much as I wanted to catch up, tell him everything that had happened, now was not the time. "Come on, Dad. We need to get you out of he—"

"I think not," another voice interrupted .

I spun around and came face to face with my nightmares. He was older, grayer, but with his white lab coat and cold smile, he was the same Dr. Gray.

"Welcome home, Son," he said. "It's so good to see you again, and looking so healthy. You've done well out in the wild. I'm so proud of you."

I'd always suspected he was my alpha father, but to have it confirmed felt like a scalpel through the heart. I sneered at him in loathing, moving between him and my dad. "You're no more my father than the needles you stuck me with."

The director tsked in exaggerated disappointment. "You're wrong. I love you. How else do you think you managed to escape? It was all thanks to me. I left that door unguarded, kept it from latching all the way. I knew you weren't happy here, that you wanted your freedom, and so I gave it to you. Dr. Taylor was most vexed with me." He gave me his standard cool smile as he approached me. I'd always hated that stupid fucking smile. "And now you've come home, just like I always knew you would."

He moved another step closer, nearly within reach now. "You know, you really did a number on poor Dr. Taylor. He'll probably never walk again. We weren't sure he was going to make it." He shook his head. "No matter. It's a small price to pay to have you back with me. You are all that matters."

It's a distraction , my wolf said, as if I hadn't already noticed the way Dr. Gray had slipped his hand into his coat pocket. I didn't need to see it to know he had a syringe, no doubt filled with sedative. The asshole still thought he could take me alive.

"And where is that mate of yours?" he asked, taking another step. "I was hoping to meet him. He would be welcome to stay as well, of course. Anything for my son."

I saw the exact moment Dr. Gray's mask slipped. His smile turned hard, his eyes calculating. I braced for the fight, but as he went to pull the syringe from his pocket, my omega dad stepped up beside me.

"Please, allow me. This cunt is mine," he snarled, looking over at me as his gaze flashed an intense blue. "I've waited 25 years for this opportunity." He pulled his scrub shirt off, exposing his torso, pale from lack of sunlight, underfed enough to count his ribs. "Who's going to protect you now, Bob?"

I'd only seen my father's wolf once before when I was young, during a full moon, shortly before he'd been shot full of tranquilizers. I watched in awe as he shifted now into a beautiful dark-coated wolf, too thin but no less deadly .

Dr. Gray was smart enough to know he couldn't overpower us both. When he turned to run, I darted forward and blocked the doorway. Claws out, I grabbed him by the neck. "What's the matter, Dr. Gray? You look worried. I promise, it'll only hurt for a moment." How many times had I heard him say those exact words?

Blood trickled down from where my claws punctured his throat as he began to beg, grappling uselessly at me. I held him there as my dad tore into him. When he screamed, I squeezed harder. From mere inches away, I watched the light die from those green eyes, so much like mine.

My alpha father died… and I felt nothing but disgust.

When there was nothing left to him but an empty shell, I dropped him to a heap on the floor. My dad and I stood side by side, staring down into the bastard's lifeless eyes. "I told you to run, and you got your chance," he said, turning to look up at me. "Why did you come back?"

I sighed, feeling a sense of relief and resolution now that it was over. "After six years, I'd had enough of hiding, and I found myself with a good reason to fight."

My dad cocked his head, thinking that over, then his gaze moved to my throat, searching. "You're mated!" he gasped. "I agree, that's a good reason." He reached up tentatively and ran a finger over the distinct pattern of teeth—clearly not a wolf. "Human?" His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yes." I tilted my chin up, daring to make a comment about it.

His eyes softened, his lips curling into a smile. "I'm sure he's amazing. I can't wait to meet him."

I was grateful to get the hell out of that dorm, with its flood of nightmares and now stinking of death. With an arm around my dad's shoulders, I led him through the gore-splattered halls back outside. He drew the first deep breath of fresh air in decades. He tipped his head back and howled long and wild, singing his freedom to the stars.

As promised, Joe's clean-up crew showed up once the fighting was over, their van filled with gear. A man with a tablet began barking out directions to the team, and I heard him say, "Clear the survivors and situate the accelerant. We want it to burn hot and fast."

"Actually, can you wait a few minutes?" I asked, walked over to him. "I want to make sure we're not leaving anything behind."

The man's features were sharply angled, giving him an overly stern appearance. He glanced at his watch then leveled me with a hard glare. "You have 20 minutes. Not one second more. Our diversion to keep the fire departments busy will only work for so long."

As much as I loathed this place, I knew there was one last thing I needed to check. "Dad, stay here," I said, passing him and headed back inside. "I'll be right back."

Grabbing a keycard from one of the corpses in the hall, I made my way back to the dreaded unmarked door. My siblings disappeared through this door, but where did they go? I had assumed it was a death sentence, but now that I'd found my dad alive, I didn't know what to believe anymore.

Swiping the card, the reader gave a high-pitched beep, and the light turned green. I took a deep breath and opened the door. It was time to face my fears.

The first room I came to was straight out of my nightmares, with its cold, metal table and tray of sharp instruments. I stood there, waiting for something to happen. For the pain, the terror. But without the scientists and guards, the overhead lighting dark, it wasn't scary at all.

It was just a room, nothing more, though an odd electric tension still vibrated through me. I was missing something, I just knew it.

Rubbing at the tightness in my chest, I stepped back into the hall and turned right, walking down to the office at the end. The door was open, a still-steaming cup of coffee sitting on the desk. This must've been Dr. Gray's office.

There was a gray metal filing cabinet in the corner, and I walked over, hesitating with my fingers wrapped around the handle. I wasn't a scientist, nor an academic of any kind. My intelligence was limited to what I needed to know about the forest. Did it matter what was inside this drawer? I could just light a match and be done with it all. And yet… I felt drawn to something inside.

With a tug, the drawer coasted out, revealing a handful of folders. I walked my fingers along the tabs. The thickest file had my father's name on it. My name was there too, and there were files for my siblings, Amelia, Carter, and Isaac. I sniffed, wiping the back of my hand across my eyes. Gods, I missed them. I had no pictures of my family, and even though I knew I would probably regret it, I decided to look. I grabbed Amelia's file and pulled it out. I took a deep breath and flipped it open to find a picture of her, and my breath caught in my throat.

I was vaguely aware of Silas strolling in behind me. "You guys sure know how to have a good time. We should've partnered up ages ago." He meandered around the room. He was still nude, licking the blood off his claws, but my attention was on the file in my hands .

On the first page, there was indeed a picture of my sister. She looked tired, her hair lank and dull, but… this couldn't be right. She was much older in this picture than the last time I saw her.

My stomach sank, soared, twisted. With dawning realization, I scrambled to grab my brothers' files and slapped them down on top of the open drawer. Sure enough, it was the same, pictures of them much older.

"Why do you look weird? What did you find?" Silas asked, sidling curiously over to my side to examine what I was looking at.

"They're… alive." My throat tightened, making it hard to breathe. I didn't dare hope that it could be true.

"Who's alive?" he asked curiously. "And what are all these files?" Silas grabbed a few more folders from the drawer, because there were others. At least a dozen more, names of people I didn't know. Were they shifters too? Were they alive somewhere? How many labs were there?!

At the edges of my senses, I felt my packmates moving through the rooms nearby. "Jude?" Shan called, tracking me down.

"Back here," I called, my voice loud to my ears. My world was changing, expanding, I could feel it.

When he joined us, I turned, ready to tell him what I found, but there was something wrong. He wasn't relaxed after the victory. His face was pinched tight, blood spattered down his chest. "What's wrong? Was someone hurt?"

"No, but that's just it." He looked down the hall behind him, as if searching for something. "This felt too easy. I don't like it. Where are all the soldiers?"

I ground my teeth, my heart rate spiking. "If the guards aren't here, then where are they?"

From farther down the hall, I heard Dawn's gasp, and she came bolting toward us, clinging to her chest, her eyes wide and panicked. "Shan! Something is wrong. It's Sasha. He's hurt."

Sasha, who hadn't come with us. He was back at camp helping to watch the kids. With Morgan.

"No!" I roared, panic overtaking all rational thought.

My Alpha turned to me, his face a mirror of the terror I felt. "We need to go! Now!"

Our families were in danger.