Chapter 20 - Leslie

Pale early morning sunlight leaks down through the thick banks of slate-gray clouds above. There is no warmth in it, and icy gusts from the peaks snatch at me, making chills creep through my clothes.

Standing next to the grave with Kyle, I can only think that the weather is appropriate for a day like this. Liam was brought home by Seth and Trace, and his funeral was a very small, quiet affair held at the cemetery itself. Only a few of us have stayed for the burial.

Alpha Bailey stands at the foot of the grave, his amber eyes glowing with pain as he watches the casket being lowered. Gina clings to his hand, trying to comfort him, but he continues to stare into the grave, completely consumed by his thoughts.

The pack elders stand across from us, all of them looking solemnly at the coffin. On our side of the grave, Jack and Lena stand not far from us, and on the other side of them, Liam’s parents.

The sense of grief in the air is so thick, it could be cut with a knife, but the pain and agony that emanates from Kyle eclipses it all. He stands like a statue, every muscle tense as he glares into the dark hole cut into the bright green grass.

Carson speaks some ritual words, and I see Bailey turn to Gina and put his arms around her, finally accepting her comfort. I know that he’s going to make plans to hit the Sawpit Pack, and it’s the last thing I want to think about.

Bae is level-headed and fair. I know he’s not going to go out on some rage-filled revenge mission, but I also know that we have to retaliate.

We won’t get a choice. From what Kyle says, they will come for us, no matter what.

When the ceremony wraps up, Kyle doesn’t move. I tug on his hand gently, and he jumps as if he’s coming out of a deep sleep.

Another place of nightmares for this soft, gentle man. All I want is to create a safe place for him and make sure he never has to leave it.

“Would you two like to come to the wake?” Gina asks us. “It’s being held at my mother’s house, and most of the pack will already be there.”

I look over at Kyle, who is still staring at the grave. He obviously hasn’t heard her.

I shake my head. “Thank you, Gina, but I don’t think Kyle’s up to it,” I say quietly. “I think he just needs some time to himself.”

Gina nods. “I understand completely. Please let us know if you need anything. Just call anytime. I’ll answer.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

Gina holds out her arms, and I lean in to hug her, letting her comfort me.

The others begin to walk away, and Kyle stands not far from the grave, flinching every time a load of dirt hits the top of the casket. I grab his hand and pull on it, unbalancing him and forcing him to follow me.

“Did you want to just go home?” I ask him gently.

Kyle doesn’t answer, and his eyes look blank and dull. All the warmth we shared yesterday seems to have evaporated, and I don’t think that eating snacks and watching movies is going to be enough to distract him this time.

I make a snap decision on the way back to the car. While Kyle buckles up, I pull out my phone and open my travel app, booking a nice hotel in Montrose for the night. I don’t say anything as we pull out from the cemetery or when I stop in at the gas station for snacks.

We’re some distance out of Silver Meadows before Kyle looks around and gives himself a little shake.

“Hey, where are we?” he asks.

“On our way to Montrose,” I answer. “Here, I got you some candy.”

I hand over a handful of candy bars and gummy snakes, his favorite. His eyes light up just like an excited kid’s, and relief washes through me.

“Thanks,” he says, tearing open the gummy snakes and taking a big bite of a bright red one. “Is there anything to drink?”

“Cans of soda, just there on the floor. Open one for me, would you?”

“Sure,” he replies, popping one open and handing it to me. I take a sip, balancing the can between my knees as I put my hands back on the wheel.

“How are you feeling?” I ask, wondering if I’m being too blunt.

Kyle shrugs. “Okay, I guess. I… I’m excited to go to Montrose with you. I think that was a good call.”

“Good,” I answer, smiling. I know it’s impossible to assuage his guilt, but if I can get his mind off things, even for a short while, I know it will help.

We spend the rest of the trip sharing candy and singing along to the radio. Even though both of us are still sad about Liam, and nervous about the upcoming inevitable fight, it’s clear that Kyle has decided to put it aside. At least for now.

When we pull into the hotel, Kyle looks over at me with wide eyes. “You booked us a room?”

“Yeah,” I mutter a bit bashfully.

“Here?”

“No,” I answer very seriously. “I booked us a room on the moon. This is where the rocket takes off.”

Kyle chuckles. “This is a really nice place. Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s not a weekend or holiday season, so it was actually a really good price. We got a hot tub and everything.”

The way Kyle grins at me makes my heart sing.

I park in the hotel garage, and we walk into the lobby, holding hands and giggling. The receptionist gives us a knowing look as she checks us in and winks when she tells us to have a good night.

The room is bigger than I expected, with a beautiful mountain view. There is a gift basket of artisan treats and a bottle of champagne chilling as well.

Kyle is standing at one of the big windows, his eyes fixed on the icy peaks. I hurry over to him, putting my arms around his waist.

“How about we go out to eat?” I suggest. “That same burger joint we went to before, maybe?”

“Okay, sure,” he agrees, turning towards me. I can tell by the troubled look in his eyes that he was thinking about Liam again, and all the danger that still lurks in these hills.

“Are you sure you want to go out?” I ask, trying to be delicate. “If you don’t want to be around people, then—”

“No, I think it would be good to go out for a bit,” he says. “Let’s do a few things in town, then come back here to enjoy the room.”

I get up on my tiptoes and kiss him lightly. “Enjoy the champagne and the hot tub?”

“Definitely,” he says, grinning. “You might remember, you owe me for our wedding night.”

“I most certainly do,” I laugh. “I had a very good time without you.”

“Well, I promise you an even better time with me.”

“I don’t doubt it,” I whisper, kissing him.

His strong arms snake around my waist, lifting me up a little as the kiss deepens. I lean into him, running my hands across his hard muscles, letting the tension build.

He pulls back, looking into my eyes. When he strokes the hair back from my cheek, I see something flicker in those blue-green depths, as if he wants to say something. Instead, he just shakes his head a little.

“Let’s go,” he says. “I’m pretty hungry, I didn’t have breakfast.”

“Neither did I,” I reply, taking his hand and heading for the door. I feel like there were volumes behind that one tiny look, and even though I desperately want to know what’s on his mind, I also want to give him space to process his feelings.

If I push too hard, he might just feel attacked, and that is the last thing I want to do.

At the burger joint, we sit at the same booth as before. I feel anticipation growing inside me, as if we’re starting a tradition. The idea of coming here regularly with Kyle, making it “our” place, is exciting for the occasion itself, but even more so with the idea that we will do it often in years to come.

Like an acknowledgment of us having a future together. A long one.

“Well,” Kyle says, hiding behind the menu, “I guess we better get extra onion rings this time.”

“Of course,” I say with a scoff. “The way you eat, we should get three servings.”

“Oh, excuse me?” He drops his menu and looks at me with complete offense. “You’re the one that demolished mine without even an apology.”

“How is that my fault? You were eating them so slowly, they were going to go bad before you got to the bottom.”

“A likely story,” he retorts, trying to hide his smile. “You’ll make any argument to absolve yourself, won’t you?”

I can’t stop the giggles that are slipping out around the edges of my words. “You’re right. You know what, I’m actually ashamed of myself. Stealing food from a skinny little creature like you. I don’t know what came over me.”

Kyle catches my eye, a devilish gleam glinting in his gaze. “I seem to recall you had a solution for that? It escapes me right now… would you care to recap it, in vivid detail?”

I blush furiously, blinking hard and swallowing to keep myself under control. I don’t know if I want to laugh or scream.

“I think… there was rope involved?” Kyle muses. “Remind me, if you can. I think it was a very good idea.”

I look up at him, one hand over my mouth. He chuckles, knowing that he’s got me.

You don’t know how badly you’ve got me, my love.

The idea of him tied up tightly underneath me while I slowly feed him sweet, crumbly cookies turns me on so much, I literally cannot speak. I can feel the soft brush of his lips against my fingertips, how he strains against the ropes with involuntary movements, trying to touch me and take control. The idea of kissing him with a mouthful of buttery dough makes me press my thighs together and hold my breath.

Luckily, a waiter arrives to take our order and saves me. We order burgers, fries, and extra onion rings, with ice cream sundaes for dessert.

“I feel a bit bad about not going to the wake,” Kyle says about halfway through the meal.

I reach over and rub his hand gently. “It’s okay. Gina was perfectly understanding about it.”

“I just couldn’t go and sit there with the whole pack, thinking about how he’s gone and it’s all my fault.”

“Kyle, we went through all this—”

“I know!” he snaps. “You can tell me a million times it’s not my fault, but I am never going to believe it, okay? Just accept it, the way I’m trying to do.”

I nod slowly, squeezing his hand. “Okay, Kyle. I can do that. I just want you to know, even though this was a tragedy… I’m very glad I still have you, and I know you did everything in your power to save him.”

Kyle lowers his eyes but grips my hand. I know it will take a long time for him to forgive himself, and I will stand by him through every single second of it.

I’ll walk through hell for you, my love, and I’d do it as many times as I have to if it would save you from pain.

After we finish our food, we head out to a nearby lookout, enjoying the tourist attractions. Standing on a platform that looks out over the nearby peak, I suddenly catch the scent of another wolf.

It wouldn’t be unusual at all to run into others—there is definitely a pack around Montrose—but we should be able to move in and out of territories as tourists without offending anyone. My issue is, I’ve been picking up a hint of this scent for a long time. Not just today.

I’ve caught this scent in Silver Meadows, even near our house.

“Kyle,” I mutter, and he nods, taking my hand.

“I know. Follow me.”

He walks briskly over to the foot track. I yank on his hand.

“What are you doing? We should go back to the hotel—”

“No, it’s fine, I got this.”

“Kyle, no—”

“Shh, Leslie. Head into that rock formation.”

“Kyle!”

“No!” he snaps, turning away from me as we come into a small alcove. I know that he’s planning to take on this situation solo, and the whole thing is terrifying me.

He’s going to get ripped apart right in front of me! For sure, we’re being tailed by the Sawpit Pack. How many of them are there? What can I do?

I take deep breaths, trying to control my fear. Kyle stands in front of me, the main trail not far in front of us. Kyle sniffs the wind a little, his body hardening all over as he gets ready to confront the other wolf.

The bushes in front of us twitch, and I jump, grabbing Kyle’s hand. The wolf got much closer than I thought without either of us seeing him. Kyle tightens his grip on me, growling a little.

Out of the scrub, a young man appears. His hair is lanky, dull, and reddish-brown, and his eyes are a cold, clear green. Deep in those eyes is a horrible blankness, a surrender to the evils of the world and an acceptance of pain. His denim jeans and flannel shirt are old and threadbare, and it looks like he’s gone a long while without a decent shower.

I look around, waiting for others to emerge from the scrub, but there are no others. I can’t scent anyone at all, except for this guy.

“Kyle,” he says in a sharp tone. I feel a shudder run through Kyle as he grips my hand even tighter.

“Rider,” he answers, and in that one word, I sense an avalanche of painful, complicated history.