49. Maya

49

Maya

"Take a deep breath, and try to work through the pain."

"Pain?" My eyes flew open. "You said this was painless!"

Above me, Lunessa rolled her eyes while Janelle and Irene both grimaced. It was early afternoon the next day, and since there was a baby still in the den, everyone was tiptoeing as quietly as possible. I should have asked more questions when Lunessa put up a soundproof barrier.

"Yeah. I did. Unfortunately, Lunessa had a journal where someone had documented the effects of the spell. The good news is that it was effective, but the bad news was that it apparently hurt quite a bit while it was doing the healing. Afterward, there was no pain. There are no side effects," Janelle assured me. "It's essentially a regrowth spell."

I didn't feel any calmer. Instead, I sat up from the hard bench that I was lying on and frowned. "Can you regrow something from nothing?"

"Oh, but it's not nothing. We found part of your bond. A newly formed bond, which no doubt means that it's a mating bond," Janelle said as she started to vigorously shake a glass jar. A brownish mixture inside darkened as the items started to mix.

"What?" I said as my heart pounded in my chest. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

"I said it's your mating bond. With Rhyson. I'm not sure how it even formed, but it's not connecting to anything. Hopefully, this connects it to you and any other bonds that might exist that we can't see, like the one between you and your wolf."

She continued to speak like she hadn't just dropped a bomb on me. I was still trying to process it. "What makes you think that?"

Lunessa sighed. "You really are thick, aren't you? Have you pledged yourself to an alpha lately?"

"No."

"It's a new bond, Maya, and new bonds are only formed two ways. A mating bond and a pledged bond. Obviously it's your mate bond. It's there. It just needs to snap into place."

A mating bond. To Rhyson. Tears formed just behind my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Just because it was a mating bond didn't mean that it was to Rhyson. I'd met dozens of wolves on this mountain, not to mention all the wolves that were at the ball where I'd been rejected. They had no way of knowing who it belonged to. They just assumed.

"You can't tell anyone. You can't tell him," I whispered.

Janelle's eyes widened. "What? This is going to work, and he's going to know."

"If it's a mating bond, then shouldn't his have snapped into place? Shouldn't he know?" I demanded before I shook my head. "It's not him. It's someone else."

"First of all, we don't know that for sure. We don't know enough about how the mating bond works," Irene said gently. "Secondly, if we don't fix it…"

"You said it yourself that you don't know enough to know that it belongs to him. If you even tell me that I have a newly formed bond, he might think that maybe it is his. He could claim me as his mate, and then next month meet his real mate, and what do you think he's going to do then?" I asked hoarsely. "Rhyson can't deny a real bond, but it will destroy him to turn me away again. He's a good wolf. A good man. I won't let that happen to him. If we fix it today, and it snaps into place, then great, but if it doesn't, then nobody tells him. Nobody tells anyone. Do you understand?"

The three witches nodded, and I lay back down and closed my eyes. Since Anna's child had been born, Rhyson hadn't been able to keep his hands off me. They were on my belly, cradling me, and he whispered things to our child, things that made me know our son would be safe.

And things about me that made me want to weep with joy. He had no idea how close he was to breaking me. To making me tell him that I was his in every way. That I loved him.

And it's because I loved him that I held back. He deserved a mate. A true mate. And I knew that if he did find her, he'd still care for our son. He'd still raise and protect him. But if I wasn't his, then he'd be able to let me go and be happy.

I was never destined for happiness. Maybe I was just destined to be a mother. To raise a son with a good man.

Maybe that will be enough for me.

"So you're going to drink this swill," Janelle said with a wrinkled nose. "Once it's been in your body for fifteen minutes, you should start to feel it activate. Unfortunately, that's when you might start to feel the pain. We'll start guiding it with magic, and hopefully, your bond will regrow."

That still seemed very vague. "And how long will that take?"

"Maybe ten or fifteen minutes? Also, maybe two hours?"

"What?" I shot back up again. "How many times has this spell been performed before?"

"Timing can depend on the magic of the witch," Lunessa said impatiently as she grabbed the jar from Janelle and thrust it toward me. "Trickier spells can be like that. There's a lot of magic in this room, so hopefully not very long. I suggest you drink up so we don't waste any more time. You do want this, don't you?"

Cautiously, I took the jar. "Of course I want it. You're sure it won't harm the baby?"

"We're not amateurs. Drink up."

With all three of them looking at me expectantly, I slowly tipped the jar up and drank. I expected it to taste like the sludge it resembled, but it was tasteless. Odd. I swallowed the thick potion, hoping that it wouldn't come straight back up again.

"Great. Now we wait."

Irene started to hum, and I lay back down and closed my eyes. Despite everything, I did have hope. Anticipation curled through me nervously, and I swallowed hard. Patience was never my strong suit. Champ liked to wait sometimes before giving me my daily beating because he knew the waiting would destroy me more than his fists and chains.

The humming surrounded me, and I drifted and smiled. She had a lovely voice. Who knew? I didn't know what she was humming, but soon, all the other witches had joined in. There were no words. Just a tune, and they were so in sync with each other.

And then, somehow, I was humming too. When I first realized that I was doing it, I tried to stop in confusion. It wasn't a repetitive song. I shouldn't have any idea which notes were next, and then I was humming right along with them. When I tried to open my mouth, I couldn't.

It's all right, a voice said in my head.

Lunessa. My eyes shot open, wide and terrified. They were circling me, holding hands, and still humming. This was not part of the spell.

It is. The thing we didn't tell you was that this spell is different for everyone. We didn't even know what to expect. Just relax. I won't let anything happen to you or your baby. Let the spell do its work.

She'd been so short and abrupt with me that it was hard to understand why she was the one providing me comfort. I studied her, and as we linked eyes, I saw her darkness.

Like saw her darkness.

This was not the bond that I wanted.

Trust me, it's not the bond that I want either, she said dryly. The spell is taking hold. It knows that a bond is broken, and it's trying to fix it. Don't worry. We won't be linked forever.

Maybe not, but we were linked now, and I felt like I was breaking open and dying. Although she looked so serene and in control know, I felt the pain of the witch I'd first met, the howls of a woman who'd lost everything.

So much pain. So much bitterness.

Maya, you need to focus on yourself. Think of your bonds.

Oh, but she was so like me. A family that had betrayed her. A power that she could barely connect with or understand. A great love that had betrayed her and she couldn't come to terms with it.

Stop it! Stop projecting on me! Focus on your bond!

Was this the pain? This raw and scorched bleakness that was settling into my belly? These thoughts that it was never going to work out? Rhyson and I would never be together. My father would hunt me down and kill me for the child. Rhyson would never retaliate because my father was an alpha, and he wasn't the kind of king who vengefully killed alphas. Not without evidence, and my father never left evidence.

Maya, you're pushing us out. Stop!

Pain. Real physical pain ripped through me, and I bowed my head back and screamed. A roar cut through. Rhyson. I couldn't stop. Couldn't stop the pain. Couldn't stop the screaming.

The entire room shook around me. Rhyson was going to slaughter them all.