47. Maya

47

Maya

"No."

"This is bigger…" Irene began in a cajoling voice.

"I don't care," Lunessa said flatly. "I've made my sacrifices to save this mountain. I'm done. You can drive, like you used to do before you started using me as a fucking taxi service."

I'd slipped into the kitchen, clearly unnoticed by the three witches who were at the table, poring over books. Lunessa hadn't been the most welcoming witch, but whatever Irene was asking her to do had clearly pushed her over the edge.

"You're not a taxi service…"

"If you ask me one more time, I will power the ward that will literally send all of you careening out of my home and land you on your asses several miles away."

"Not me," Anna said cheerfully as she sailed into the kitchen. Noticing me, she winked. "Hi, Maya. I'm guessing you're pretty hungry after saving everyone's asses yesterday."

Growling, Lunessa flounced out, and Irene sighed. "We should call Jax and London and let them know that we'll be driving to Snake Valley. It'll take us a few more days."

"You didn't really think Lunessa was going to go, did you?" Anna shook her head. "That wound is going to take a little more time to heal, I'm afraid. I suspect Jax is already making the arrangements."

"Is everything all right?" The last thing I wanted to do was piss off Lunessa. I'd found a jar by my bed when I woke up this morning that I knew was from her: more ointment for my knee and a replacement for the anti-nausea medicine I'd given Anna. I'd known it was from her because I'd heard her quietly sniping at Rhyson through the door.

Rhyson, who was gone when I finally pulled myself out of bed.

"Lunessa and London have a history," Anna said pointedly. "Which means we have to go the old-fashioned way. It'll be fun. You'll get to explore a little more of the mountain before you leave, and Janelle and Irene will have a little bit more time to look over the books."

"No." I shook my head. "I can't do any more tests or spells. I'm done."

Anna's face fell. "Oh, Maya…"

"I'm sure you're disappointed, and I know everyone has put a lot of time and effort into it, but I feel like it's just ripping out my heart. The damage is done, and I've lived with it for a long time. I have answers, and for that, I thank you, but I can't keep putting myself through this. I can't keep hoping that something is going to change, because I know that it's not."

"Wait, no!" Janelle rushed in. "I've been up all night, and I have one more thing to try. Please. I know this is going to work. It's a regrowth spell. It will literally pull magic from the mountain and regrow your bonds. It's never been used for this, but I really think it can work. Last thing. I swear."

"Janelle, I'm sorry, I…"

"Maya."

Rhyson's deep voice filled the room from behind me, and I stopped and closed my eyes. He was concerned for our child, and I should be as well. If I passed my curse on, I would never forgive myself. I should be trying everything, no matter how much it destroyed me when it didn't work.

"Sure," I said tiredly. "Last thing."

"We're not doing it today. I think it's going to take a lot of energy, so I'd like you to have the day to rest, and I still have some ingredients to prep. And, frankly, I think we're going to need Lunessa, so nobody bring up London today. Give her some time to cool off." She seemed lost in her own head as she wandered out. Her coffee was still on the counter.

Something on Rhyson's face made Irene grab her things and scurry out as well, and I headed in to get something to eat. No coffee for me, and I desperately missed it. "I'm going to take the extra days we have to go through Gideon's camp and make sure we've cleaned up the mess. I won't leave them without protection," he said as he walked in. "I'd like you to come with me if you're feeling up for it. No fighting. Just someone to make them feel at ease."

His arms came around me, and he rested the top of his chin on my head. My movements stilled. It felt so right, so easy to have him hold me like this. Like we could do it every day for the rest of our lives. I cleared my throat, but even though I knew I should pull away, I couldn't. I enjoyed the sensation too much. "You think I can put them at ease?"

"You put me at ease."

At that, I snorted and pulled away. "I'm pretty sure all I've done since joining you on your adventure is make your blood boil. Still, it'll beat waiting around here."

Bread popped out of the toaster, and I busied myself with buttering it while he studied me. "Do you want to talk about what just happened?"

"The fact that I'm having to forgo the coffee? You have yourself to thank for that, and you should go easy on me. I'm only going to get crankier."

I gave him a grin, but it faded when he wasn't the least bit amused. "You're giving up on healing your bond."

"I don't think you can heal what was forcibly removed," I muttered as I turned back to my bread. "And you don't know what it's like, Rhyson. You and your wolf hold more power than a pack of wolves combined. You have no idea what's it like to not be able to communicate with your wolf. How it feels to have hope that you might finally be whole again before it's ripped away."

"You're right," he said in a low voice. "I do not know what it feels like."

"I'm not trying to be heartless. I'm concerned that my son will be the same way, so I owe it to him to keep trying."

"Maya." He turned me around and, with his finger under my chin, forced me to look at him. "I am concerned about you. My thoughts are of you."

The way he looked at me made my heart flip, and I gently pulled away. "You don't need to be concerned about me, Rhyson. I'm fine."

"I know you aren't used to people caring about you, Maya, but there was a time when you thought I might be your hero. I plan to live up to that."

Grabbing my plate, I ran as quickly as I could from the room. I couldn't handle this new side of Rhyson, this protective and heroic wolf. That dream was shattered for me, and I couldn't bear to try to piece it back together. If it broke again, I knew that I would break with it.

"Fucking Christ," Rhyson suddenly roared from the kitchen. "Someone get in here and help me!"