34. Maya

34

Maya

I had dinner with Anna and went up to my room, exhausted. It was empty, and I was grateful. Since discovering what was wrong with me, I hadn't had time to myself to think or process. Now that it was all hitting me, I just wanted to curl up in a fetal position and cry.

My wolf and I would never have a connection or form a bond. I'd never have a chance at a mating bond. I'd never be able to truly rely on an alpha.

Only one of those things bothered me. I was never going to find my mate, and I didn't give a fuck about bonding with an alpha. As far as I was concerned, too many of them were assholes.

Jax might be an exception. I couldn't help but notice the one fair and kind alpha I found was in the middle of a rogue-infested and wild magic mountain. An alpha who bowed to no king. Oh, the irony.

I cradled my hand on my belly. Had I conceived a child who would carry my curse? A babe who would never connect to their wolf?

The door opened, and I stayed on the floor. Rhyson looked down at me and frowned. "Are you injured?"

"No."

"Then why are you on the floor?"

"Because I can be. Does that bother you?"

Shutting the door behind him, he crossed the room and stared out the window. In the darkness, a crescent moon cut through the night. "The alpha knows who I am."

"It was naive of you to think that nobody would recognize your power. Are you going to kill him?"

"No. I'm going to trust him."

"How novel of you," I said with some disgust as I got up. "Trusting someone."

He caught my arm before I could walk by him. "I made an error with you."

Shocked, I turned to him. "Excuse me? I think my ears just filled up with blood. I'm pretty sure I did not hear you correctly."

"Your father is in a position to spread lies about you, and in turn, those who listen continue to spread them. I should not have been so quick to believe them. I should have trusted my own instincts."

"You have an instinct about me?"

Drawing me closer, he reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't normally fuck women who get naked in my hotel room and ask for it."

"You still don't believe you're the father, though. You made that clear." I tried to pull away, but he just turned me and circled his arm around my waist, pulling me up against his body.

"I asked from fear, Maya. I have made so many mistakes when it comes to you. So many wrong assumptions, and now you are in more danger than you perhaps have ever been before."

His gentle voice tickled my ear, and I closed my eyes and fought the urge to lean against him. How could I trust him after everything that had happened? "You couldn't be more wrong. If my father finds out that he's the grandsire to the king's child, he'll have me killed after birth. He'll raise that child to be just like him."

Rhyson's arms tightened around me. "I won't let that happen."

Turning, I faced him. "Won't you? From what I can tell, this is a suicide mission for you. You've set your nephew up to be your heir. You're more concerned about saving your own wolves than saving yourself. Admit it, once you have your revenge, you have nothing else to live for. You're not going to be there for this child, so maybe you should stop caring about whether you're the father or not. It won't matter."

"That may have been true once," he said carefully. "But it is not true now."

Tears that I'd willed away all day finally spilled over my cheeks, and I collapsed against him. "What if he's like me? What if he can't control his wolf?"

"You can control your wolf. The only time she's broken free was to try to speak to me. She may not have a bond with you, but she still knows you. She knows what you need. She knows how you feel, and you do the same for her." He paused. "Will you tell me what your father has done to you?"

I wiped away my tears and pulled away. This time, he didn't try to stop me. "You already know. You were there for what the witches said."

"That's one thing he's done to you. I want to know more."

"It doesn't matter what he's done to me. It only matters that he doesn't get to do anything else." I forced a smile. "Where's Paisley? I haven't seen him all day."

"After eating most of Jax's stored winter food, I sent him with Saul. Just because he's clean now doesn't mean he'll stay that way. I wanted him to see firsthand the effects of the drug. Nash should have brought him back to his room to sleep now."

"And your negotiations with Elonso?"

"Slow," Rhyson admitted, and then shocked me even more by helping me turn down the bed. For a second, we almost looked like a domestic couple. My mind wandered from my problems and ventured into dangerous territory.

I'd said I wouldn't fuck him again, but my body didn't seem to care. As his hand smoothed over the sheets, all I could think about was how they fisted my hands, anchoring me down while I came.

Nope, nope, nope.

"Jax has promised to help me find something else that he wants. I have a mind to simply show up at his doorstep and demand answers." His gaze caught mine, and he grinned lazily. "Is there something else on your mind?"

"No. Nothing else."

"Good. Then we should get a good night's rest." Almost languidly, he started to undress, and my heart skipped a beat. "I told you I wouldn't fuck you again until you begged for it, so we don't have to worry about that, do we?"

It was all I could do not to lick my lips. "Are you planning on sleeping as a wolf?"

"What? Oh, no. These sheets are nice. I want to feel them on every inch of my body." Naked, he shimmied onto the bed, turned onto his back, and rested his head under his forearm. Nothing was left to the imagination. "That's not a problem for you, is it Maya?"

My toes curled, and I left my own clothes on as I quickly got into bed and turned my back to him. "Nope. Not a problem. Good night."

Before I could close my eyes, he hooked his arm around my waist and drew me close to him. Immediately, I squeaked. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"I said I wouldn't fuck you. I didn't say I wouldn't touch you."