32. Arabella

Chapter 32

Arabella

T he rest of the weekend passed without incident. Warrick was unable to figure out who spiked my drinks, which only put him in a bad mood when he returned empty-handed. I knew it was a long shot, but I still appreciated that he at least tried to get answers for me. The girls had come by with fresh clothes they stole out of my room when Phoenix let them in. It felt amazing to shower and put on clean clothes. Warrick let me spend Saturday night in his room again, this time not giving me shit about him trying to sleep on the couch. He even had me invite Phoenix over so they could talk. The guys mostly hung out in the kitchen or the spare room, which Warrick turned into a gaming room while we girls took over the living room for a movie marathon. I had no idea he was such a gamer. I was actually surprised. I knew he had hobbies outside of me, but it made me realize just how much things always revolved around me when we were in Aeris. Before we went to sleep that night, I brought it up to him, and he told me it wasn't a bother. My father had strict rules for him, and he was to watch over me. It didn't bother him that when we were together, it was doing things that I wanted. In his words, "At least he got to see me. If we did stuff he wanted, then I wouldn't have been allowed to go." He's right, of course, but it didn't completely ease the guilt I felt by it either.

Sunday morning, I asked Warrick how things had gone with Phoenix. He said it was strained slightly, but over time, Phoenix began to relax, and they talked. He wouldn't tell me more than that except to emphasize that I needed to talk to Phoenix before things could go further. He's right, I knew he was, but that didn't make it any easier. I promised him that I would speak to him, but it would probably be on Monday. I wanted to continue to enjoy my weekend. I already had one hard talk. I wasn't ready for another. I even begged Warrick to let me stay with him, but he insisted I go back to my dorm. Something about Talia would only give him so many passes, he needed to share me with Phoenix, and this was his way of doing that. A small part of me thought it was utter bullshit, but I knew he was right. I was staying at his place to hide from my next problem. I needed to face Phoenix and talk to him, which is exactly why I went back to my dorm room yesterday night.

When I got there, no one was home. It was the perfect chance to shower and crawl into bed without having to talk to anyone. By the time I made it out of the shower, no one had returned, so I grabbed a snack and crawled into bed, turning on a movie. At some point, I fell asleep. I remember waking up to a knocking noise at the door, but I rolled over and went back to sleep for the rest of the night. When I woke up, I felt like a brand new person ready for the day, which is what brought me to this point now: sitting in the kitchen after making pancakes for everyone and waiting for Phoneix and Rhys to join me. I'd rather Rhys not be here for the conversation, but he's going to find out about it either way. Maybe Phoenix can convince him to bugger off if I'm lucky.

"Good morning, Arabella," Phoenix greets me as he walks into the living room. Looking up from my plate of food, I turn and see him look like he just rolled out of bed. His hair is sticking up in all different directions, and he has those sleep-crusties in the corner of his eyes.

"Morning, Phoenix," I smile and point to the food on the counter. "I made pancakes for breakfast, hope you're hungry."

"Thanks, you didn't need to do that. I could have made us food," he answers, coming to join me in the kitchen. I watch as he places a couple of pancakes on his plate and then smothers them in maple syrup the same way I did a few minutes before.

"I know but you shouldn't have to keep being the one to cook me meals, plus I was awake early this morning and I wanted to do something nice before we talked," I shrug hoping he doesn't try to take anything the wrong way. I'm not exactly trying to butter him up or anything but I guess in some ways I am.

"Yeah, I suppose we should talk. Do you want to do it over breakfast or wait until the end of the day?" he asks, taking the seat beside me at the kitchen counter.

I let him get a couple of bites of food in before answering. "I'd like to start now if that's okay. If you prefer we wait, then I'm good with that too." It sort of feels like both of us are trying to avoid but not avoid the situation. Neither of us wants to make a decision, which makes things awkward between us.

"Oh, for the love of Divine," Rhys grounds out, joining us in the kitchen. "Just talk now and get it over this. This back-and-forth slightly avoiding each other bullshit is getting super annoying." He grabs two pancakes off the plate, stuffing one in his mouth dry before heading to the door. "Don't worry, I'll tell the teachers you both are feeling under the weather so you have all morning to talk. Buh bye!"

Both of us sit there in shocked silence, watching the door slam shut behind him. For a few minutes, neither of us react until I break first and begin to laugh so hard I'm clutching my stomach. Phoenix turns to look at me and joins in on the laughter until both of us are almost in tears. "I really didn't think he had that in him," I finally blurt out once I gather myself enough to talk.

"Sometimes my brother has a nice side," he adds around laughter. "Well, it's few and far between, but he did create this tension between us anyway."

"You're right. He did. I know he was probably trying to help in his own convoluted way, but I sort of wish he had just let us talk about things and get there when we did," I state, sobering up our conversation. Funny enough, I think Rhys' exit was the segue that both of us needed to actually open up and talk about things. "I'm not saying that I don't want you to be my mate," I immediately follow up. "I am glad that you are, even if I was scared. It also seemed like you and Warrick were getting along on Saturday, which is important to me."

"Beautiful, haven't you realized yet that I just want to see you happy?" he chuckles lightly and pushes his plate away before turning to face me. "I know it's not conventional for angels to take fallen angel mates. When Rhys had outed us as mates, I panicked. We had shared a great night, and the next morning, I was worried you were going to regret it. Then my brother had to be his usual dickish self and make matters worse. I should have talked to you and told you what I was feeling that morning, but I'm not good at things like that. The only person I talk to is Rhys, and even then, that's become few and far between since you've come into our lives, and not in a bad way," he hurries to add on. Pausing, he grasps both my hands and smiles at me. "You are an amazing person, Arabella. I am lucky to get to call you my mate. I'm sure this is only the first hurdle that we will face, and if you want to sit here now and tell me that you reject me, then fine, I'll accept that as long as you are happy in the end. Fallen Angels, like myself, aren't meant to find our happy endings."

"That's not true," I'm quick to argue, not liking how he views himself. "Everyone deserves to find their happy ending no matter their race. I was mad at first that Rhys took the ceremony away from us. Then I was mad because you wouldn't speak to me that morning or even after he dropped the bombshell. Then you and I tip-toed around each other for a whole week, existing but trying to stay out of each other's way. It was awkward. After I finally wrapped my head around us as mates, I was terrified. My whole dream has been to come here and do what I needed to get back to Aeris. I was left wondering how I was supposed to go home knowing that the Divine mated me to a fallen."

It's true I really was terrified. It's not that I think Fallen are bad. I never believed that, but knowing my father. He would have me killed for mating a fallen. It came down to whether I want to return home or do I want to continue down the path the divine granted for me. After talking to Talia during my so-called detention, I knew the answer. The Divine put me on this path for a reason, and it was time for me to follow it instead of fighting it.

"My father isn't a good angel, Phoenix," I continue, trying to come up with the right way to word this. "He is a bastard who believes he is above everyone else. My whole life was about not bringing shame on our family, which I seemed to do just by existing. Nothing I ever did was right. When I got sent here, it was my chance to show him and myself that I could be a good angel. However, since I got here, life has shown me the opposite. Not that I'm a bad angel," I amend quickly, realizing I'm fucking this all up. "Just that my life is meant to follow a different path. Not the one my father wanted for me. I spoke to Councilwoman Talia during my detention with her on Wednesday. She helped me see the world differently. I can have it all. I can have the life that I want, but I can also have the mates the Divine destined me to have. After that, I knew that making things right with you and Warrick needed to happen. I wasn't sure who I was going to speak to first, but it just happened to be Warrick after Friday night's events."

"You spoke to Talia?" he asks shocked. "Did you tell her about us?"

"Sort of. I talked to her about mates and asked if there were mates between Angels and Fallen Angels, but I didn't specifically tell her about us. However, after the phone call Warrick and I had with her on Saturday afternoon, I have a feeling she knows. I'm sorry if you wanted to keep it private. I just really needed some advice, and she told me I could ask her anything," my voice drops to almost a whisper as I pull my hands from his. I'm scared that I fucked this up even more than we already had. I should have talked to him before telling Talia. That's on me.

Phoenix starts laughing and places his finger under my chin so he can look me in the eyes. I'm scared he is about to reject me right now for this, but his eyes soften as he stares at me. "Beautiful, I could care less if Talia knows. Considering the fact that she is my sister-in-law, it is bound to come out eventually. It would have made our first family dinner awkward if we hadn't told her ahead of time."

"You're related to her?!" I practically shout in surprise. "Oh my god, this is so embarrassing. I shouldn't have brought it up to her. She doesn't know it's you, or at least I don't think she does. Wait," I pause, my mind finally putting pieces together. "Is that why she was fine with me staying here with you? Because she knew there was something between us, and since you all are family, she trusted you both with me."

"The second part of your reasoning is probably right. Rhys and I both had to explain to her why we wanted you to stay with us. In the end, she only agreed because we are family, and I had to promise my brother, or well Rhys's brother, that we would be on our best behavior and keep you safe. If we didn't, then Alex is allowed to kick our asses to kingdom come. I don't think she knew about my feelings for you, but she could have. Nothing escapes Talia's notice. She's good people." He's so excited as he talks about his family.

I'm however surprised. The angel world is huge. I'm just coming to grips with the fact that Angels and Fallen Angels mingle more than I had expected, but now it feels like this is a lot smaller of a world than I originally thought. The Divine must be up there laughing at us and the mess we are making of everything. He also must think it's hilarious to combine our families in this way. Talia already had her fight with the Seraphim Council and somehow came out on top. Now, it's going to have to be my turn if I want to have Phoenix as my mate. If Talia could do it, then I have a feeling I can, too. I can't keep living my life afraid of my father.

"So does this mean that you want to do this? You have to know it was an uphill battle for Talia. It isn't going to be any easier for us. If anything, it's going to be harder. I'm part of the Seraphim. My father, Cassiel, is on the Seraphim Council. He isn't going to make this easy on us. Heck, if anything, he may try to kill you." I don't want to scare him, but he needs to know the truth. I'll face my father, something I should have done years ago, but I can't do it alone. I know Warrick will help, but if Phoenix doesn't want this life, then I won't ask him of it.

"Arabella, I would go through hell and back for you. I'm not afraid of the council, and I'm not afraid of your father. I know what Talia went through. I was just a little kid, but I remember all of it. If you say it's going to be harder, then fine. It will be harder, but we will have my family's backing. I just don't think the Seraphim Council is ready to face my family any time soon," he laughs darkly before sobering up. "Warrick and I can handle this. He and I talked on Saturday. You have both of us, forever. When you're ready, I can get Talia to help us with both mating ceremonies. Well, at least the Angel one. Fallen Angels don't exactly have a ceremony of any kind."

"What do Fallen Angels do?" I've been curious about their ways and this is my chance to finally learn something.

"We exchange blood by drinking a few drops from each other. The process binds our souls forever and does not just bind us with magic like Angels do. The bond between Fallen is stronger because it can never be broken, unlike how you all do it." I can tell he doesn't mean anything with his words, but they still hurt some. I heard that breaking a bond between angels is extremely painful and only done in certain circumstances. It's something I knew I never wanted to experience ever, it's why I was nervous during my mating ceremony.

"I didn't mean to worry you, Arabella," he begins, moving out of his seat so he can stand in front of me. "We won't do our mating ceremony until you are one hundred percent positive that you are ready for that level of commitment, and we can't ever change our minds."

"I..." I mumble trying to figure out the right thing to say. "I want to say that I'm ready for that but I'm also scared. Does that mean that when one of us dies so does that other?" Among Angels when your mate dies you have the choice to pass with them or carry on. It's rare for a mate to choose to carry on but it does happen when younger kids are involved. If there is a blood bond that can't be broken it makes me believe that they don't get the choice to carry on if they would want to. I don't necessarily see that being an issue but it is something to consider.

"Yes, if one mate dies then the other does as well. It's how I lost my parents and joined Rhys's family," he answers somberly. I can see the pain in his eyes as he answers me. Reaching out I grasp his forearm and squeeze reminding him that he isn't alone and that he's here with me. "It's not something I would ask you to take on without thought. It's part of why I froze up that morning. I didn't want to ask you to take on that burden. You shouldn't have to die if something were to ever happen to me."

"Are you saying you don't want me then?" I ask, starting to get confused. He already said we could do the ceremony when I was ready, but now he is making it sound like he doesn't want us to do the ceremony at all.

"No, yes, I don't know," he sighs, backing away from me. "I want you, Arabella, please don't think that I don't. It's just what I went through with my parents, messed me up badly. I saw the love all the mates around me had and I wanted it, badly. Just now," he pauses shaking his head. "Now, that I have that chance and I have you. I'm terrified of losing you in the same way that I lost my parents. I don't want you to die."

"That's a risk that all of us take, Phoenix," I jump off my barstool and step closer to him. "Finding a mate is one of the greatest gifts the Divine has ever given us but it is also one of the scariest. I can tell you that I'd rather have as long as the Divine decides with you than not have you at all. It's your decision to make but know that I'm here with you. I choose you."

I'm terrified but I know in my heart this is the right choice. Phoenix, and Warrick, both of them are the right choice for me. I won't change my mind. I will fight for both of them at all times. I made my decision the second I talked to both of them. I won't be changing my mind. Warrick is on board now it is up to Phoenix. "I can't make your decision for you and I won't force you to make one right now. Just know I'm okay with whatever you decide." Leaning up on my tiptoes I place a soft kiss against his lips. When I try to back away he grasps my hips pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.

"I choose you, Arabella. Just give me some time to adjust, please," he begs against my lips before resuming our kiss.

I can't answer him, too lost in the way he feels against me. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I twist my fingers into his hair and hold him against me afraid that he is going to try to back away. I don't want him to stop kissing me. It feels too good, it feels like home. Eventually, he pushes his tongue against my lips forcing me to part and give him entry to my mouth where our tongues fight for dominance. His right hand moves from my hip and to my neck where he grips me and forces me to tilt my head back. Our kiss becomes lighter before eventually he breaks it.

"That was amazing," he smiles, staring down at me. "You are the most amazing Angel I have ever met."

"I think I can say the same," I mumble trying to get my feet under me so I don't collapse. I didn't expect him to kiss me, especially not like that. "Want to skip class?" I ask, laughing as I lean against his chest.

"I'd like nothing better but we should probably get to class today," he laughs. Slowly, his grip loosens before he lets me go completely. "Let me shower quick and I'll walk us to class."

"Sounds good, I'll get the kitchen cleaned up while I wait for you," I smile, watching him retreat down the hall to the bathroom we're sharing.

I sure didn't think this was how my morning was going to go but I'm glad it did. I feel lighter knowing we got that off our chests. We still have a lot to figure out but at least I know Phoenix will stand by my side for whatever hardships we are going to face by making this decision. Together we can get through anything. Or at least that's what I thought.