Chapter 12 - Leah

My hands felt cold and clammy as we finished closing up the bar and headed home. I was mortified that Killian decided to stop kissing me after I had hesitated with his advances. It was clear to me that he didn’t want me—not like that. He had just been caught up in the moment, and I had been available. Something I did had snapped him out of it, and he had realized he held no interest in me beyond our formal obligations to one another.

“Before you go to bed, can we talk?” Killian asked when we got home.

Here it comes , I thought. He’s going to clarify boundaries and let me know that nothing like that will ever happen again. Hope you enjoyed your last kiss, Leah.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, following him to the couch. I placed my hands on my lap and twisted them together to hide that they were shaking.

“I wanted to check that you’re okay,” he began. “I think I came across too strong with the physical stuff, and since it’s pretty obvious you don’t have experience with that, I wanted to apologize if I took it too far.”

Although he wasn’t wrong, something about the way he phrased it made me irrationally angry. The implication was there—even if he didn’t spell it out—that I was inexperienced because I was undesirable.

“I’m fine,” I snapped. “And I’m not sure my past experience is any of your business.”

Killian looked at me questioningly. “I’m your mate,” he said. “Everything about you is my business.”

I scoffed at his statement. “Considering you haven’t told me much about yourself, I’m not sure that’s accurate.”

“Then let’s change that,” he said. “I want to know about you, and for you to know about me. So, Leah… are you a virgin?”

“Only because I was the pack outcast,” I spat. I could no longer take the underhanded assumption that I hadn’t been chosen through some fault of my own. “My earliest memories are of being ridiculed and teased, and that never changed. There was no man in the pack who would date me when the rest of the wolves considered me to be weird and defective.”

“So, you’ve never dated? Ever?” he asked after he had processed what I said.

“Of course, I dated,” I lied. “It was just difficult because I had to go outside of Sparkle Hollow to do it. But I went on plenty of dates where we fooled around. I just didn’t have sex.”

“You fooled around?” he repeated. For some reason, he seemed upset.

“Sure,” I said. Whether it was true or not, I couldn’t let him believe he was the only man who had made me feel alive and wanted. “I let them touch me.”

I didn’t expect him to care that I had experience with other men. I would have thought it would make him feel better about what we had done in the bar. But my statement seemed to have the opposite reaction.

“How did they touch you?” he asked, his voice low.

His jealousy was palpable, but I was determined to act unaffected. He couldn’t know that I cared about his opinion of me.

“Making out and hand stuff,” I said with a shrug.

“What kind of hand stuff?” he demanded.

“I don’t know how to answer that question,” I admitted. “I think it’s pretty self-explanatory.”

“On the contrary,” he said, his voice low again as he moved closer to me and angled his body toward mine, “there are many ways to touch a woman.”

I felt my stomach tighten at the desire and dominance in his eyes. It wasn’t fear but excitement I felt. It was the same look he gave me at the bar earlier this evening. He was turned on.

“Of course,” I said quietly. “But it’s not something I can explain with my words.”

Killian raised an eyebrow at me, and I realized that I had unwittingly invited him to begin a demonstration.

“Well, then,” he said quietly. He moved in closer and wrapped an arm around my waist so that our bodies were touching. “Did they touch you like this?”

He began to caress my torso, trailing his fingers under my shirt.

“Yes,” I said, determined to moderate my tone. “Of course.”

He lifted my shirt over my head and unclasped my bra, allowing it to fall onto the couch. His hands continued their circling motions across my skin as he lowered his mouth to my neck.

“Did they kiss you like this?”

His lips and tongue took turns trailing patterns from my ear to my collarbone. The warmth of his breath in the crook of my neck sent a tingle down my spine.

“Yes,” I said, my voice shaking a little.

Killian looked into my eyes while he repositioned us, moving me onto my back as he straddled me.

“Did they kiss you here?” he asked, palming my breasts and squeezing gently.

“Yes,” I said, barely maintaining my composure.

Still looking into my eyes, he lowered his lips to my breast, placing his nipple into my mouth and sucking lightly. I inhaled sharply as electric jolts traveled through me. His hands roamed down my stomach toward my waist, and I felt blood rushing toward my pelvis.

“And what about here?”

He began kissing me on every inch of my stomach, moving lower and lower as he teased me.

“Yes,” I breathed. I was no longer composed. The only thought in my mind was of his breath on my skin, the tightening of my stomach, and the tingling nerves in my clitoris. I yearned for him to be closer to me, to take my body and do what he pleased with it.

As he kissed below my belly button, his hands reached up and began tweaking my nipples softly. I moaned at the sensation of pleasure that was building in my body.

“Like this?” he breathed huskily.

I could feel his erection pressed up against my leg as he continued his ministrations. I crossed my knees and pressed my legs together as tightly as I could, putting pressure on my sensitive clitoris as I imagined him touching me there.

“Yes,” I gasped.

My pitch was rising, and I knew I was no longer answering his question. Instead, I was answering the unasked question: do you want me to keep going? The truth was, I had never felt like this before. I never wanted it to end.

He rubbed his hands firmly down my sides, massaging me. He rubbed his erection against my leg as he grasped both my wrists, pinning them to the couch.

“Did they do this?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered, practically begging him to kiss me again.

He obliged, darting his tongue in and out of my mouth as his lips moved in time with my own. My hips began rocking, seeking stimulation for the wetness that was pooling within me.

Killian released one of my arms, moving his fingers to one breast while his mouth found the other. As his movements became faster and more insistent, I felt the tightness in my stomach get more and more intense.

My back arched, unbidden, as waves of pleasure circulated throughout my entire body. My eyes closed, and Killian continued playing with my body as I rode the orgasm to completion.

“Oh my god,” I gasped once my body stopped shaking.

Killian sat up on the couch, pulling me up with him. “Did they make you do that?” he asked with a grin.

I was absolutely mortified by what had just happened. Although my experience was limited, I had never imagined a scenario where a person could orgasm without even removing all their clothes. I was in strange new waters, and I felt disoriented and confused.

“No,” I said simply.

“Good,” he replied. “I’m glad I am the only person who has made you cum. I’ve never gotten over you, Leah, and the thought of someone else making you feel the way I just did makes me sick.”

Anger replaced the calm that had come over me as he spoke of being the only person to touch me. “So, you would be mad if I had been with other men, but it’s totally fine for you to fling yourself at all the she-wolves in town?” I demanded.

“What are you talking about?” he asked with a frown.

“I know all about the women you hooked up with,” I spat. “You say you never got over me, and yet you slept with half of the women here. Both things can’t be true, so don’t lie to me about your feelings.”

Killian looked defeated. “I’m not saying that I don’t have a past,” he said. “But my feelings for you are true. I never stopped thinking about you. Not once.”

“Except for when you were fucking other people, right?” I scoffed. I stood from the couch, not wanting to be near enough for him to touch me again.

“Leah, please,” he begged. “Let me explain.”

“No.”

In a huff, I grabbed my discarded clothing, covered my chest, and stomped out of the room. He could sleep with whoever he wanted, but I wouldn’t believe a word about his feelings for me. Never again.