10. Anna

10

Anna

I was in and out of consciousness, surfacing only to feel the racing panic of someone carrying me and then succumbing to my weakness. When I woke up, I was on the ground under a thick patch of evergreens. It was cool and shaded, but I could see the sun shining brightly through the openings of the branches.

I'd lost an entire night.

"Don't panic. You're not alone," Jax said, crouching in front of me. "Or maybe that will make you panic. Hard to know, but it's just us."

Letting out a small moan, I struggled to sit up. Leaning over, he grabbed me and gently propped me up next to a trunk. "Water. Food. Saul said it was imperative you replenish your energy reserve as quickly as possible. You lost too much blood."

Eagerly, I accepted the water and energy bar. I drank so fast that I nearly coughed the water back up.

"Easy. There's no rush."

Balefully, I glared at him. Yesterday, he was totally in a rush, and now he was acting like we had all the time in the world.

"Where are the others?" I rasped as I wiped my mouth.

"I sent them away." Sitting back on his conches, he studied me. "You were right. Our number was too large. We attracted too much attention."

It was the first time anyone admitted that I was right before. Uncomfortable, I pushed myself up to try to stand. My vision blurred just a little, and I pitched forward. Jax caught me easily. "Saul said it would take a day or two for you to get back on your feet. We're relatively safe here. The others erased our tracks before they left."

"I don't care about rogue wolves at the moment. I need to pee," I muttered as I avoided his eyes. "I hear running water. Are we near the river? I'm caked in blood."

"You can't even stand. What makes you think you can swim?"

I glared at him. I'd apparently been unconscious and defenseless for hours. I was going to get myself to that river even if it meant that I had to crawl.

"I'll carry you," he said finally. "The water is deep, but the current isn't all that swift, and I can stand."

"Good for you. You can take your bath when I'm done." I pushed his hands away and took a step forward. My knee and ankle were now completely healed, thanks to my wolf.

Unfortunately, my overall strength just wasn't there. I wobbled, took two more steps, and nearly fell into another tree.

Behind me, Jax cleared his voice.

Damn it, I did not need his help. I didn't want to be alone with him. I didn't want to know how much comfort his wolf could give me. I didn't want to know that his eyes and his touch could be gentle.

I just wanted to wash the blood out of my hair.

"Fine," I said through gritted teeth. "You can help me."

With a snort of laughter, he picked me up. I immediately shrieked in panic and slapped him, but he just hauled me over his shoulder. "What are you doing? I don't need to be carried!

Put me down!"

"Relax and breathe, Anna. If I wanted to hurt you, I could have let you bleed to death, remember? The faster we get to the river, the faster we get back so you can rest."

His words made sense, but I could not relax. Squeezing my eyes shut, I tried to drown out the panic. Surprisingly, I discovered the panic was all my own. My wolf was curled up peacefully inside me.

Oh, good. After years of terror and anxiety, she was perfectly happy after one nuzzle from her mate.

I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed. All that I'd done to protect her, and now she was content? Traitor.

"Nice trick with the flare gun," he said conversationally. "Used that before?"

"If you're asking if I've shot another wolf before, the answer is no."

His shoulders tensed, and for a moment, I thought he was going to drop me. "That's not what I meant," he muttered.

The water was cold when Jax gently lowered me into the river, but I didn't mind it.

There was a strange sense of relief at hiding my naked body beneath the surface. Most shifters didn't care about their nakedness. Usually, I didn't mind either, but I felt so damn vulnerable around Jax. Not because he made me feel vulnerable, but because I couldn't shield myself around him. One look from him, and I wanted to crumble.

His hands were firmly wrapped around my waist, and I realized belatedly that he was guiding me into deeper waters. "Wait," I gasped.

"I can swim," he said roughly. "See that boulder?"

"Yes."

"It's shallower there, and it'll keep the current from carrying you away."

"You're going to leave me alone?"

"No," he muttered. "You'd no doubt find a way to drown yourself."

We reached our destination, and I grasped at the rock. It was shallower. I could stand, but the water was still up to my shoulders. Jax's hands disappeared, and I made an involuntary sound of panic.

"Anna? Relax. This was what you wanted."

"I know. I'm fine," I lied as I squeezed my eyes shut. Memories I thought were long buried surfaced. My father throwing bodies into the water. Some dead. Some not. The water didn't care. It carried them to the end anyway.

Behind me, Jax cleared his throat. "I'm going to clear your hair. Try not to jerk away."

My body tensed, but his hands were gentle as they massaged my scalp. Involuntarily, my body grew warm at his touch. Something tugged deep inside me. Want and desire betrayed me, and I held my breath as I tried not to picture those caressing fingers moving down my body.

"Turn around," he said gruffly. "There's blood on your forehead."

For a moment, I thought of telling him no, but then I remembered how much he hated me. I certainly didn't need to worry about him wanting me the same way. Slowly, I turned.

His gaze met mine, and I realized just how wrong I was. There was a hunger there that took my breath away.

With a hand on my abdomen, he pushed me against the rock. "Jax," I whispered.

What was I going to say next? Kiss me? Let go of me?

Fuck me?

"Don't. Just…let me do this," he growled.

Do what, exactly?

His hands framed my face, and he stared at me before cursing under his breath and running his thumb over my forehead.

The hunger was still there but also disgust. It was enough to ground me, and I averted my gaze and went about trying to scrub the rest of the blood off my body. Without soap, there was only so much I could do, but it was better than nothing.

"Done," I said tiredly. "I'm cold. Can we go back?"

He didn't say anything as he carried me back. "Can you shift? You'll be warmer," he said as he put me down.

As if she knew she was being summoned, my wolf rose swiftly inside me. I pushed back just a little, but I was already feeling the chill in my bones. Closing my eyes, I gave myself over to the change for the second time in twenty-four hours.

It used to be swift and painless. I'd seen some shifters take up to five minutes to shift, but I could do it in seconds. Still, I was rusty, and I didn't have the adrenaline of dying to hasten the change.

She erupted out of me, but those first few seconds of joy were tempered when we both realized that he wasn't going to shift. She started to panic.

"Easy, sweetheart," he said in a low voice. "I just want to feed you."

He held out bits of jerky to her, and she took it from his hands hesitantly. Her healing magic filled me, but I couldn't relax. I kept waiting for Jax to grab us. To hurt her.

Softly, he ran his knuckles over her head. "When she's stronger, I'll hunt for you. For right now, I hope you'll sleep and heal her."

Sleep? Around him? Not a chance. Not with her. Immediately, I grabbed the reigns and started to shift back. I was dry and turned to dress. When I looked back at him, he didn't bother to hide his disappointment.

"Thank you for your help," I said woodenly and curled back on the ground. It would take more than saving my life before I could trust anyone.

That included him.