Chapter 4

“What the fuck are youlooking at,” I snap at the old man who’s been giving me the stink eye for the last few minutes as I search the shelf for the best pregnancy test.

He huffs and glares at me before turning around to leave.

I saw the judgment in his eyes. But damn, I’m almost in my thirties. It’s not odd to have children at this age. If anything, I held out longer than most women. Do you know how common teenage pregnancy is?

Not that I’m judging. You do you, boo-boo. I couldn’t imagine having a baby before now though.

The thought of having one while under Trevor’s terror sends a shiver of unease down my spine.

Nope, we’re shutting that line of thought down real fucking fast. That fucker is long gone, dead, burned to the ground. Queenie made sure that he stayed dead this time.

“Why are there so many damn kinds?” I mutter, holding up two different brands. “Fuck it.” I grab a bunch of them, from the ones with just the lines to the ones that flat-out say ‘pregnant.’

My heels click against the ground as I head toward the checkout. People are staring, and I can feel their eyes on me. It’s not uncommon. Not to sound full of myself, I’m gorgeous. At least, that”s what I’ve always been told. It’s been the biggest downfall of my life.

Now, I embrace it, control it. If people want to stare, they’re welcome to. Now, if they try to touch, that”s another story.

“Hi.” I give the lady a smile as I dump the pile of tests onto the counter.

“Well,” she laughs. “That’s a lot of tests.”

“Yup.” I nod, digging in my purse for my wallet.

“Are you and your husband trying for a baby?”

I look up and give her a raised brow. “Not quite. Don’t have a husband.”

“Oh.” She looks me up and down, taking in my slicked-back black hair, red lipstick, and black pantsuit. I look classy as fuck today. “Doing it alone? I admire a good businesswoman who doesn’t need a man.”

Amusement fills me, and I grin. “Oh, I have a man,” I tell her as she finishes scanning the boxes and sticking them in the bag. “Five, actually.” I wink as I tap my card and take the bag from her. She looks at me with a mixture of confusion and disgust. I just add to it by saying, “And a sexy as fuck woman.” Fuck you and your prude ass, lady.

The look of horror on her face has me cackling the whole way out.

But my laughter dies when I see Evie sitting in the passenger seat. I still haven’t told her my suspicion about being pregnant. It’s not that I don’t think she’s going to be happy about it. I know she will be. It has nothing to do with her at all. I haven’t told anyone but Emmy. And even that was hard to admit.

A baby means big changes. And yes, things in my life are always changing—there’s never a day that”s the same—but a baby is something that would heavily impact my day-to-day life.

The biggest thing, no more D Days until the baby is born. I’d never put the baby at risk. Killing, maybe, depending on the situation.

It also means no more dancing at the club. I’d be relegated to office work and housemother. God, the idea of that makes me want to gag. Maybe stab the homeless man over by the dumpster who’s eyeing me up and licking his lips. Gross.

Alright, I’m going to do it now. I have to. Time to pull up my big girl panties and tell my girlfriend. I kill people for a living, I can do this.

Head held high, I walk across the parking lot and get into the driver’s seat of the car.

“Everything okay?” Evie asks, her gorgeous green eyes finding mine. She’s so fucking sexy. Her red hair is down today, something she hardly ever does, and I love it.

I’d also love to run my fingers through it with her face between my legs as I ride that sinfully sexy mouth.

“Low, baby?” Evie says with amusement.

“Fuck, sorry, got blinded by your beauty.” I grin, giving her a wink.

I love the blush that creeps onto her lips. “Stop,” she laughs.

“Never.” I bite my lip and lean in, grabbing the back of her head to pull her in for a kiss. Fuck, she tastes so damn good. She moans against my lips, and I’m seconds away from dragging her into the back seat and eating her out like my next meal.

“Wanna go into the back?” I ask, pulling away, panting.

“Harlow.” She laughs, and fuck if it isn’t music to my ears. “We can do that later,” she says with promise in her eyes. “Wanna tell me what”s in the bag?”

“Right,” I sigh, looking down at the bag. “This.”

“Yes. That. Harlow, are you okay?”

I look over at her. “Yes? No? I don’t know.”

Her smile falls. “Shit. Is something wrong?”

“No?” I groan, putting my face in my hands. “I’m being such a big-ass pussy about this. It shouldn’t be as big of a deal as I’m making it, but like it’s also a massive fucking deal.” My eyes find hers, and I let her see the rare vulnerability in them because... shit, I don’t think I’m handling this well. “And for the first time in my life, I’m afraid.”

“Are you dying?” Her face goes pale.

“What?” My eyes widen. “No. No, baby, I’m not dying.”

“Thank God,” she breathes out. “Harlow, please tell me what”s going on before I start freaking out.”

Chewing on my lip, I place the bag of tests in her lap. She opens it and just stares down.

My heart thunders in my chest, waiting for her reaction. “Evie?” God, my pits are sweating.

“You think you”re pregnant?” Her voice is slow and soft as she looks over at me with glassy eyes.

Oh, fuck. Is she pissed? “Are you mad?”

“Mad?” she half laughs, half cries. “No, Low. I’m not mad. I’m happy.”

“You are?” I narrow my brows.

“Yes,” she laughs again.

“Well, at least one of us is taking this well. I’m trying not to shit my pants,” I sigh, leaning back in my seat. I feel gross, like I want to be sick.

“Harlow.” Evie places the bag down by her feet and leans over the center console. She grips my chin, turning my face so I’m looking directly at her. “You are an amazing mom. Rosie is the luckiest girl alive. And if you”re pregnant, this baby will be the same.”

“You don’t think I’m going to fuck them up?” I whisper, showing too much of my heart on my sleeve.

“No, baby, I don’t. You”re going to love them hard, teach them so many amazing things, and between us and their daddies, they will be the safest little one on this earth, alongside their sister.”

“Evie, I kill people for a living. What if they’re afraid of me?”

“We will do what we plan on doing with Rosie. When the time is right, we talk to her.”

The older Rosie gets, the more she’s asking questions. She’s smart as a whip, and I know it won’t take too much longer before someone says something to her. It’s better if we tell her ourselves. Only thing is, how do you tell a seven–almost eight-year-old, that her mama kills people?

Yeah, let”s worry about that another time.

“Come on. Let’s go home, we can take these together. But no matter what, me and those men will be so damn happy.”

“Neo is going to be a nightmare.” I laugh, my nerves settling just a little bit.

“The worst,” she agrees. “But in the best way.”

“Yeah.” I take a deep breath. “Alright, let’s go do this shit.”

***

“I CAN’T LOOK. YOU LOOK,” I tell Evie, pacing back and forth in the bathroom.

“Low, you need to stop. Breathe. Relax,” Evie encourages in a calming tone.

“Relax?” I stop, gaping at her. “Are you crazy?”

“No.” She laughs. “But you are.” I flip her off with a glare, making her laugh hard. “Alright, I’ll check.”

Closing my eyes, I take in a few deep breaths. I already know the answer deep in my heart and soul. And to add onto everything else, lately, I’ve been so much more emotional than I’m used to; it’s the only explanation.

Opening my eyes, I see Evie approach the ten pregnancy tests laying on the countertop. You know how much I had to fucking drink to be able to piss on all of those? The smart thing would have been to piss in a cup and dip them all, but I’m not really in the position of thinking straight right now, and that”s another reason why I’m freaking out. I’m never flustered, never distracted.

“Well?” I ask as she stares at them, feeling anxious and nervous with each passing second. “You”re killing me, smalls.”

She bites her lower lip and looks at me with watery eyes. “We’re having a baby,” she whispers.

My heart drops, and my stomach lurches. “I’m gonna be sick.” I slap my hand over my mouth and run to the toilet.

Everything I ate comes up as I hug the porcelain bowl. Evie kneels down beside me, holding my hair and rubbing my back.

“God,” I groan, feeling like a bus hit me. “It’s like as soon as you confirmed it, morning sickness wanted to add a nice punch for good measure.”

Evie laughs. “Well, good thing I don’t mind puke. I’ll be your morning sickness buddy.”

I look over at her, feeling like shit. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Yes, you do.” She grins. “Even if you have puke on you.”

I groan again, taking the toilet paper she hands me and wiping my mouth. “So, we’re having a baby?”

“We are.” Evie beams. “I know you”re afraid. I know it’s going to be a lot. But, baby, you’re not alone. You have me, you have the guys. Everything will be okay.”

“I know,” I sigh, leaning back against the tub and flushing the toilet. “I know. It’s just... God, this is going to be so weird. A baby growing inside me?” My eyes start to water. “And no more D Days!”

“Oh boy.” She giggles. “I don’t think any of us are ready for Harlow and Queenie with pregnancy hormones.”

“Don’t have to worry about me. I’m staying way back here. Sorry, girl, as much I love Rosie and will die for both kids, I don’t do this lovely-dovey bullshit. That”s all on you, babe,” Queenie pipes up. “But if you need me, I got you.”

Thanks for nothing. God, do I have to do everything myself?

“Do you really wanna go there, Harlow?” she growls in warning.

“But I don’t cry,” I tell Evie, doing exactly that, crying.

She tries to hide her grin. “It’s okay to cry, Harlow. It’s normal.”

“I’m not normal.”

“Don’t we know it.”

“Keep being a brat and I’ll throw you over my knee, E.” I glare at her.

“Promises, promises.”

If I didn’t feel like shit, I’d do it right now.

“How do we tell the others?” Evie asks. “You know as soon as Neo finds out, all bets are off. This is his baby, isn”t it?”

“Yup.” I grin, thinking about my crazy man so determined to knock me up. “He’s made sure of it.”

“At least Neo will finally leave your sister”s kids alone.” She laughs.

I burst out crying. God, what is wrong with me?

“What”s wrong?” Evie asks, sounding concerned.

“I just realized Emmy and I get to raise our babies together,” I sob, crying harder. “I’m so happy.”

“Oh, babe.” Evie laughs, pulling me into her arms. “I fucking love you.”

“I love you too,” I cry, burying my face into her chest. “And I love these tits.” She laughs harder. “No, really, I really wanna fuck you right now. I’m so damn horny.”

“How about shower sex?” she asks, and my entire body perks up.

“Yes, fucking please.”

Sex first, then I have to be an adult and tell everyone I’m having a baby.

Fucking hell, I’m having a baby.