15. Ezra

Chapter 15

Ezra

Any time I've been around babies, their tiny eyes have watered and their little voices have wailed. Whether it's my blank stare that sets them off, or the fresh bruises on my knuckles, or the way their mothers clutch them tighter to their chests as I walk past, I can't say.

I just know that after one look at me, they cry.

I've seen people coo at babies or sing to them to put an end to their tears. Sometimes, I get the urge to try. Maybe I can make a baby laugh, and their parent won't curl their lip as they walk away from me. Maybe, one laughing baby at a time, things will change. But by the time I remember to smile, the family has moved on. I'm standing alone on the sidewalk.

The only way I might spend time with a baby, then, is if I either steal one—which won't win me any points with my future wife—or if I have my own.

Creating a child is laughably easy for most men. It's unplanned, or it's instinctual, or it could actually be a beautiful moment that's been planned and prayed for night after night upon every wishing star in the sky.

But for many of us, that simply isn't the case. Andrei's father is nameless. Mikhail's stuck around until things got tough. My own father decided to have as many sons as possible so that he could strengthen the numbers of the Russian Bratva by merit of his cock, instead of his fists. Thankfully, he only had one child—a son he had no interest in raising. He tossed me into the Bratva and let the vors raise me with harsh words and even harsher fists, but even then, I can't say that the Bratva ever treated me like a proper son.

I was a dog to train for the fighting pits.

The most experience I have with flesh and blood fathers doing their actual jobs is from watching the ones within the Baranova Bratva raise their sons and spoil their daughters. It's not often that I see the children in our sector—my line of work lends itself more to brawls and blood than toys and toddlers—but when I catch a glimpse of parenthood, I get a sense that the job is difficult sometimes, but no less important.

Maybe even rewarding.

As Valentina plays with the cold eggs and limp toast on her plate, I wonder how she would look with a baby— my baby—in her arms. Raven-colored hair, like mine. Curled, like hers. Tiny dimples when she smiles. A laugh that lights up the room.

I've never pictured myself as a father. I've never wanted to be a father. How could I, after the failings of my own? Of Andrei's and Mikhail's? But Valentina brings a layer of peace and comfort to our lives that makes me wonder if I could step away from the blood and bone, and give parenthood a try.

I quickly scan Valentina's body for signs of pregnancy. I don't actually know much about how it works, other than the basics. Is it too soon to know? Would she be able to feel a change in her body, or would we need a test to find out? A dozen questions zip through my mind too fast for me to latch onto, but the most important ones ring clear as a bell.

Could I be a father?

Would I be any good at it?

Once Valentina threw on one of Mikhail's t-shirts and boxers after her shower, she joined the three of us in the kitchen. Mikhail's beach house is his personal retreat—no one is allowed inside without his express permission. I've only been here twice before. Judging by the lack of women's clothing and toiletries I've failed to locate on both of my previous surveys of the house, I suspect that he's never brought a woman here before, which makes Valentina the first. She may not realize how privileged a position that is.

I doubt he'll ever tell her.

Valentina flicks her eyes between each of us and sits at the place Mikhail set out for her at the breakfast table. Two fried eggs and toast, with a glass of orange juice. A true bachelor's breakfast. She eyes the food warily. "I don't know what more you want me to say. You heard everything."

Andrei leans closer, resting his elbows along the table's edge. "Say it again, so that we all hear it. Directly. From. You."

Mikhail hovers behind us, a scowl etched across his features. If anyone should be kneeling at Valentina's feet to give her anything and everything she wants, it should be Mr. Obsessed himself. So, she doesn't want kids? Ply her with jewels and expensive dinners and trips to Venice. He's never expressed wanting to have kids before; falling for Valentina shouldn't be a big deal. It shouldn't change his mind about how he wants to live his life—or with whom.

My chest tightens as my eyes lock with hers. One woman shouldn't change any of our stances on having children. We're men of the Russian Bratva—we live violent lives. There is no place for something as innocent as a child in our line of work—or our personal lives. We'll fuck things up, for sure, without even trying. Hell, even Tolkotsky's relationship with Valentina was strained at best. After our own father figures failed us, none of us should want children.

But despite all of the shit from our individual pasts, Valentina somehow makes us want . . . more than we've imagined. More than we ever thought possible. A child? A family ? A living, breathing, happy group of people coexisting under one roof. It's not just me and Valentina raising a child together—it's all of us. And that makes the challenge feel a hell of a lot less impossible and more . . . real.

Valentina gives me hope for the future in a way that I've never felt before.

Valentina clasps her hands in her lap, straightens her spine, and looks me in my eyes for what comes next. My world suddenly shrinks back down from the potential all of us to only us in an instant. I can feel the way she's tuned into the frequency in my bones. Locked in with me, willingly. The man she should have never wanted, yet chose anyway.

I'm eternally grateful for that decision.

My pulse hammers through my veins all the same, nearly drowning out her voice.

"I don't think I want to have kids."

I don't get a chance to respond.

"You don't think you want to have kids? That's something you really should know , Valentina. Way before having unprotected sex with all three of us." Andrei is clearly hot about the subject, absentmindedly tapping his heel against the tile floor. "You could be pregnant right now."

Valentina rolls her eyes. "I just had my period."

Andrei's eyes narrow. "We came inside you last night, and I'm sure Ezra did again this morning."

Valentina's cheeks flush, and despite the ripple of agitation manifesting across her face, she's damn beautiful. Sunlight streams through the oceanfront windows, casting warm, orange streaks across her hair and shoulders. "Could you stop with the melodramatic shit, Andrei? Yes, we've all had sex. It's been one big fucking orgy after another. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want kids!"

Mikhail's voice is calmer than Andrei's, for once. "What's changed?"

"Everything, obviously!" Valentina scrubs a hand down her face and rubs the back of her eyelids. "Liam kidnapped me, you guys. Me. The Baranova Princess, in a chapel full of witnesses, in broad fucking daylight. If he can get to me that easily, who's to say that someone else can't get to our children? Steal them out from under our noses, in our own home?" Shaking her head, she sighs. "I don't want them to go through anything like that. Grant me at least one shred of grace and understand that I know what we're giving up. Having a child would be—" her voice cracks, sharpening her next inhale—"they deserve better than what we can give them . "

My shoulder aches as Valentina stares at it, digging beneath the bandages and gauze to picture the wound and its inevitable scarring. I shift my arm in its sling, careful to keep the discomfort off my face.

Mikhail opens his mouth, but I cut him off before he can jump down Valentina's throat and make things worse. "You are right, child deserves best life." Stretching out my legs, I nudge Valentina's foot with mine. The flicker of surprise across her face releases some of the tension in her shoulders. I continue, "but best life is with loving family. We are loving family. Bloodied and bruised, yes, but loving. We protect our own. We will protect child with last breath." I incline my head towards our woman, hoping she understands that even though her fears are valid, so too are our reasons. "Like we will protect wife and mother, and each other. With last breath."

Mikhail grabs the back of my chair as an anchor and wedges himself in the infinitesimal gap between Andrei and my shoulders. "You were kidnapped because we were arrogant and careless. No one's ever challenged us like that before, especially not in our territory. Most people know not to fuck with the pakhan , but our reign is new and, before now, untested." He gestures vaguely towards Valentina. "We don't have decades of family lineage backing our claim." With a sigh, he runs a hand through his hair, destroying what semblance of normal he has left. His hair sticks out on all sides, and the five o'clock shadow working its way across his jaw is begging to be shaved. "What happened to you was a mistake, one that we'll pay for for the rest of our lives."

"That we will atone for," Andrei revises.

"That's what I said," Mikhail grumbles, glaring at the back of Andrei's head.

I nudge Valentina's knee to regain her attention. She needs reassurance, and I will give it to her every fucking day of the year if I have to. Whatever it takes to let her know that not only are we sorry for fucking up, but it will never happen again. " Lisichka. I make promise." Snagging her hand under the table, I lace our fingers together and squeeze. "I will kill every man and woman who threatens family. Idle threat. Real threat. Does not matter. They will not breathe next breath, because I will crush lungs with bare hands. I will bring fear of God, and they will remember it, or they will die."

"She doesn't need a death poem, for fuck's sake." I can't see Mikhail over my shoulder, but I can hear the eye roll. "Once we prove to everyone that we're dangerous fuckers, no one will try this shit again, is what Ezra's trying to say." He pinches the bridge of his nose before taking a quick breath. "Baby, I know you can't trust us so soon after this bullshit with Liam and Katya, but I swear, it won't happen again. Not to you, or to any future kids of ours. But, love, we won't be the only ones looking out for our family. We have an entire Bratva behind us. They are family, too. They'll keep us safe, just like we'll keep them safe."

Valentina purses her lips. "Because that worked so well before."

Mikhail's expression hardens. "It's different now. Katya isn't around to fuck with things. We have you, and it's going to stay that way. The Bratva will see your devotion to us, and the mudaks who doubted it will realize how fucking stupid they've been. They'll come crawling back on their hands and knees, begging for forgiveness."

"They are all dead." I shrug with my good shoulder. "No one left to beg."

Valentina's eyes widen. "What do you mean by that, Ezra?"

My phone buzzes in my pocket, but I don't need to check it to know what the messages say. We gave the final kill order last night. Anyone whose loyalty has wavered over the past few weeks should be dead by now. There is no room for the weak in our ranks. "They are dead," I repeat. "All seventy-five."

Andrei keeps detailed records of every single member of the Bratva. After Valentina's abduction, we checked every single one. Those who abandoned us for Katya were marked immediately. A few upstarts never made it out of the chapel. Their blood stains the floors.

With a shrug, Mikhail continues. "The others won't be foolish enough to follow them, then. Especially once they see that Valentina remains by our side."

"You killed seventy-five people?" Valentina swallows thickly.

I nod. "No one will hurt you again, lisichka. I promise."

" We promise." Mikhail reaches across the table and cups Valentina's face in his hands. "So don't shut out the idea of kids just yet, okay?" As he leans across the table to reach her, he knocks her glass to the floor and shuts both me and Andrei out completely. The words he whispers against her lips betray a gentleness that his touch foregoes. "We deserve our own happiness, don't you think?"

Tears fill Valentina's eyes, and if it weren't for fucking Mikhail, I'd kiss them all away. The bastard gets to them first, sucking each one against his lips the moment they slide down her cheeks. When he kisses her on the lips, she melts in her chair. I'm both relieved that she's relaxing and annoyed that it's not with me. I nudge Mikhail's hip hard, knocking him off balance. He snaps back with anger in his eyes, like I interrupted his favorite meal.

Too fucking bad.

Andrei steals the advantage and rounds the table to Valentina's side. He kneels at her feet and kisses both of her hands. "A queen deserves a loyal kingdom. The Bratva will fight to protect our family just as strongly as they'll fight to protect their own. You'll see."

"We must give them something fight for." I nod towards Andrei. "We will give them marriage."

"And babies," Mikhail adds, "lots of babies."

"I haven't said yes yet," Valentina reminds us. "I . . . need some time to think. About kids, not about marriage."

Andrei kisses each of Valentina's palms. "Take all the time you need, love."

She exhales slowly, then nods. "Okay. Thank you."

My phone buzzes again. Andrei and I share a look. I bet his is going off more than mine. I only have to deal with our Bratva, but Andrei has to deal with the world. After Valentina's disappearance—and now the Mayor's, I'm sure—high-ranking officials within the city have questions. It's easy enough to smooth things over, but it does take an appearance or two to do it.

But the last thing I want to do is deal with Bratva duties today. Valentina's hand is warm in mine, and I sweep my thumb across her knuckles. We could have lost her. This whole thing we have going for us could have come crumbling down in an instant. We wouldn't be talking about babies, we'd be best friends with the bottom of a bottle.

Speaking of which, I spot a high-dollar vodka calling my name. I slip away to snag the bottle and pour two new glasses of orange juice, one with a heavy dose of Russian medicine. While someone cleans up the spill on the hardwood, I hand Valentina the fresh glass and sit across from her.

She relaxes further as she takes a tiny sip. "What do we do now?"

"We eat." I jab Valentina's fork into a blob of egg whites and hold it up to her lips. It looks disgusting. It wobbles. "We rest."

"We fuck, like rabbits." Mikhail drags his chair next to Valentina and places his hands on her thighs, spreading them just enough to tease her inner thighs.

Valentina flushes pink, but she doesn't stop him. He buries his face in her hair and sighs as he lovingly squeezes her thighs, grabs her hips, rubs her stomach. "You felt so fucking perfect, squeezing my cock last night, malyshka. I'm an addict for your pussy. And this perfect body—" He groans in the back of his throat as his hands wander the expanse of her body, squeezing her breasts, palming her curves, lifting her shirt to kiss her stomach. "Breathtaking." He dives to his knees in front of her and shoulders her thighs apart even more, making room for himself. "I need a taste."

She squeaks when he pulls her ass to the edge of her seat. "M-Mikhail," Valentina whispers, fisting his hair. "We shouldn't—" Her eyes screw shut the moment he buries his face deeper and latches onto her sex through the boxers she's wearing.

I lean back in my chair to block Mikhail from view beneath the table. Taking a swig of my drink, I study Valentina's blushing face. Her eyes are closed, her mouth open in a pretty O . "Open your eyes, lisichka. Let us see how good you feel."

She shakes her head. "N-no. We shouldn't?—"

The sound of fabric tearing fills the air as Mikhail shreds the thin barrier between them. He groans, and Valentina's back arches a second later.

Andrei stands beside Valentina and grabs her chin, wrenching her face towards him. "Why not, zhena ? We want to please you."

With one hand keeping Mikhail firmly in place, she grabs Andrei's arm with the other. "Normal breakfast—we should have a— ahh —normal morning together."

I down the rest of my juice and pour straight vodka next. My cock fills as Valentina tries to maintain her composure. I wish she would open her eyes. I want to watch them blow wide open when she comes. "This is normal, no? You have breakfast, we have breakfast." I spot Andrei adjusting himself, his cock already at full mast.

I came once this morning. I'm allowed to take a little longer to get there. I put my feet up on an empty chair and pull my cock free, stroking it to each breathless sound Valentina makes.

"Perfectly normal," Andrei agrees, cupping Valentina's face. He leans down and takes her mouth in his, slipping his tongue between her lips. They both moan, and Valentina moves her hand from his arm to the thick bulge between them. She rubs him eagerly as he rocks his hips into her palm.

Our girl is just as horny as us. This will definitely be our new normal, from now on.

"Bring her here." I pat the table in front of me. "I am hungry."

Mikhail lifts his hand above the table to flick me off.

But Valentina finally opens her eyes and looks at me. A little dazed, a lot horny, face flushed and lips swollen. She pushes Mikhail and Andrei back to stand up. But before she can walk over to my side of the table, Mikhail quickly sweeps everything on it to the floor and Andrei lifts her, lying her flat on her stomach, facing me. The table is short enough that her ass dangles off one end, with her face perfectly level with mine at the other.

"Hello, beautiful." I drop my empty glass to the floor and brush a handful of curls behind her ear. "Can we fuck you?" I doubt Mikhail would bother asking, but after she ran from me this morning, I want to know that she trusts us. That she wants us. That she is okay with fucking us raw—even if it means she could get pregnant. "Can we fill up perfect pussy?"

Her eyes glaze over, and I glance up to catch Andrei working her with his fingers. She's so wet that we can hear it.

I'm not sure that she heard my question. I shake my head at Andrei, and thankfully he pulls his fingers free. I catch him pumping his dick with his wet fingers. At some point, Mikhail stripped naked, baring all for the room.

The horny fucker.

Taking Valentina's face gently in my hands, I brush my thumbs across her cheeks. "Does our queen want her king?"

Valentina bites her bottom lip and meets my eyes. My heart skips a beat as she wraps her arms around my neck and sighs against my lips. "I want all three of my kings, Ezra. You'll fuck me too, won't you? You'll fill me up, and put a baby in me?—"

The air rushes from my lungs as the world collapses once more to just me and her. A baby. With me. An adorable little girl, or a shy little boy, or an adventurous troublemaker. Ours. My cock swells to the point of pain, and my balls tighten prematurely. "Are you sure?"

I don't know if I'll be any good at parenting. I might be too firm, or too soft, or too quiet, or too busy. I might feed them too much sugar, or bounce them too hard on my knee, or give them their first taste of vodka too young for her liking. I might fuck it all up.

Or. It might be better than I can imagine. Because it will be with the love of my life.

Valentina takes a breath. "Mikhail will spoil them rotten, and Andrei will proudly show them to the world." She touches my chest. "But you, Ezra, will love and protect them fiercer than anyone. How could I not want them to have a father like that? How could I not want you ?" She kisses me sweetly, but I kiss her hard.

All of my doubts melt away until there's nothing left but love . I won't be a perfect father, but she believes in me. And that's enough. She moans into my mouth and grabs onto my shoulders, adjusting her position on the table so that her knees are spread wide and her ass hangs low, baring herself to the others.

When Andrei surges inside her, our kiss deepens. I'm lost in this woman, my heart gripped firmly in her fists. She claws at my shoulders as Andrei thrusts hard and deep, the smack of his hips against her ass filling the room. My cock jerks as pre-cum dribbles from the tip, and I grip it hard to keep it from spilling.

Every last drop needs to be for her.

"Hurry up," Mikhail whines, "I'm aching to knock her up first."

"Wait your turn." Andrei grinds deep, growling in the back of his throat. "The first baby is mine. We need a strong heir."

Valentina pushes back onto his cock, meeting each of his thrusts.

" Fuck , that's gonna make me—" He groans and buries himself deep. Valentina whimpers into my ear, and it's one of the best fucking things I've ever heard.

"That is one," I murmur, "how many more can you take, hm? Two? Three?"

Once Andrei moves out of his way, Mikhail plays with her pussy lips, rubbing the head of his cock through her folds. "It's dripping out. We can't have that, now, can we?" He sinks inside with a hiss, tossing his head back. "Such a wet fucking mess. God , you feel so fucking—" He curses in Russian and pounds inside her fast, digging his nails into the globes of her ass.

Valentina yelps, but I lick into her mouth and steal the sound. I cup her breasts beneath her shirt and massage them hard, making her moan, helping her relax. She needs to come if we're going to fuck her brains out.

I play with her nipples, rubbing circles around them, pinching them between my fingertips. Lowering my head, I wrap my lips around one and suck, earning a low moan from our queen.

Someone spits, and Valentina's breath catches.

"Relax, zhena , I want to make you feel good. Let me in."

Ah , Andrei is playing with her ass.

She whines, and I double my efforts to make her come. "So full, lisichka. Naughty little fox, demanding three men. Can you handle another cock? I have load ready for you." Fuck, I'm so hard that it hurts. If she says no, I'll grit my teeth and bare it, but if she says yes ? —

Her voice is strong when she replies, and thank the gods it's a yes.

I pull off her breasts and stand in front of her face. She opens her mouth in a lewd display of desire, staring at my erection. I hold it in my fist and pump it nice and slow for her to see. "I only give cock to good girl. Are you good girl, Valentina?"

" Yes. "

I wrap my fingers in her hair but hold her back. Her warm breath surrounds my length, making it twitch harder. "Mikhail, rub her clit." When Valentina's body jerks, I know he's made contact. I rub the tip of my cock against Valentina's lips, smearing her with my scent. She flicks her tongue against my weeping slit, and my balls fucking hurt. They're swollen, too. Fuck , this is going to be a big load.

"You will come with me, yes?"

Valentina nods enthusiastically, and I push the head of my dick past her lips. She closes her eyes with a moan, and I have to fight not to come then and there. I help her swallow me down, pushing on the back of her head when she stalls. Her nostrils flare, and tears fill her eyes. But she doesn't pull back—she hollows out her cheeks and sucks .

Holy fucking shiiiiiiit ? —

A growl catches in my throat as I start fucking her face, unable to be gentle when she opens her eyes and looks at me. Saliva drips down her chin, tears slide down her cheeks, but somehow, her emerald eyes shine brighter than ever as we claim her pussy, ass, and mouth. All three of us, working in tandem.

All four of us about to come hard.

" Now ," I snarl, forcing my cock to the back of her throat as I explode, my muscles tightening, my body rushing with endorphins. I can't stop it. I pump her mouth full of me, one pulse at a time, as Andrei growls and slams hard into her, filling up hole number two.

Mikhail comes across her back, pumping most of his release against the tight ring of her asshole and between her cheeks. He must have fingered her ass, otherwise she'd be pumped full in hole number three, too. He uses his finger to push some of it inside and play with her some more, stretching her out, getting her used to the feel of it. She clenches around his finger and her body convulses a second time.

Fuck me , did she just come from that?

She taps my thigh and I quickly pull out. I hadn't meant to stay back there so long. I hold her face as she gasps for air.

Cum drips down her chin, and I know her pussy's leaking, too. Mikhail did a good enough job of coming on her ass because even though he didn't fuck her there, it looks like he did.

Valentina's a fucking mess, and she's smiling about it. "Filled me up so good," she murmurs, shutting her eyes. "S'good."

I kiss the top of her head. "Good girls get filled."

"Good girls also get naps." She melts on the table, and Mikhail and Andrei work together to carry her back to the bedroom.

As they leave, I pat my pockets for a cigarette. Once it's lit between my fingers, I stare at the smoke curling in the air.

For once, I don't crave the hit.

I set it down on the table and watch the end burn out, feeling a sense of finality wash over me. If I'm going to be a father, I better live long enough to see it.