6. Penelope

6

PENELOPE

FOUR YEARS AGO

“ C olt . . .” It’s a breathless plea coming from me as I push gently on his firm chest. My body is on fire. The throbbing between my legs is not a new sensation and definitely becoming harder and harder to ignore. My nipples are pebbled painfully under my bra, aching for something I’m not familiar with.

Colt lifts his head and looks down at me, worry crossing his beautiful face. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

I nod, shifting underneath his weight, pressed between him and his soft bed. “I’m fine. I just . . .” I look at his swollen lips, puffy from our intense make-out session, feeling the heat creep to my cheeks as his erection rests between my legs. “We can’t . . .”

God, I’m an idiot.

He smiles at me and nods in realization as he rolls off me, laying on his side next to me. “I know, Pea.”

Does he really understand? Colt has been an amazing boyfriend, never pushing me too far. Never pressuring me to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with. It hasn’t been easy with us going to different schools, but we spend every chance we can together.

Including the nights I sneak over to his house, taking the bus and climbing up to his window like tonight.

I lift my eyes slowly to meet his gaze, his kind eyes shining even brighter when he smiles. “I know you want to.” My voice is nothing but a weak whisper.

He smiles and moves one of his hands to my cheek. “Of course I do.”

I’m living in a foster home with two girls my age. One is fifteen, and the other is fourteen. We all share a room, and at night, I listen to their stories about boys. Both are far more experienced than me. Candace, the fifteen-year-old has already had sex with three guys, one who was in his early twenties. The way they talk about sex, it’s like it’s no big deal, but I don’t know . . . I don’t want to end up like my mother, sixteen and pregnant, having to drop out of school and then eventually ditching the kid.

Not that Colt would ever abandon me like my dad did my mom, but I can’t risk it. The whole thought terrifies me.

His lips move to my forehead where he lays a chaste kiss. “But you’re worth waiting for, Pea.”

It’s his fifteenth birthday today. I should be showering him with presents, and we should be laughing and having a great time. He should not be having to comfort his insecure girlfriend right now.

He’s truly beautiful and starting to mature into a man before my eyes. “You could have any of those prep school bitches. I’m sure they’d be more than willing.” I sigh, “Why are you so good to me?”

I’m not na?ve in any sense of the word. I’ve seen plenty in my years on this planet. I know that girls like me are usually used and tossed to the side like trash, especially by wealthy, spoiled boys. But with Colt, I never feel less than him. He never makes me feel like I come from nothing, like I’m not good enough.

He just chuckles softly and pulls me against his chest. “I love you.” I swallow, still not used to hearing that from him or anyone, but he says it so often now, it’s like breathing to him.

“I love you too.”

“I don’t want anyone else, Penelope. And we’re still young. I’m totally fine with just kissing for now. We have the rest of our lives for more.”

I smile and breathe him in. I love the way he smells—clean, masculine, and safe.

“Happy birthday, Colt.”

I can feel him smiling into my hair as he holds my body to his in his bed in the dark bedroom. It’s not much longer before I hear his soft, even breaths, and I know he’s fallen asleep.

I don’t want to leave the safety of his arms, but I’m thirsty and decide to creep down the spiral staircase that leads to their kitchen. Everyone is asleep, and the house is quiet as I try my best not to make a sound.

I don’t want to wake Mr. and Mrs. Sterling. They may care about me, but they wouldn’t like me sneaking in this late at night.

I open the fridge and grab a bottle of water, but my heart leaps into my chest when the kitchen door flings open suddenly.

I close the door and move my hand over my rapidly beating heart as Linc saunters in, clearly drunk as he sizes me up. “P? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Shhh . . .” I look up the stairs and then back to him. “It’s really late. Don’t wake your parents.”

He laughs at that and slides his black leather jacket off. “They won’t mind. It’s not like they could be any more disappointed in me.”

It pains me that Linc has such a low opinion of himself. I know his parents love him, but Linc is convinced he’s the bad seed, that they love Colt more.

“I’m pretty sure that they wouldn’t be too happy that you smell like a brewery. Did you drive yourself home?”

His lips slide up in a sly smirk as an answer, and I roll my eyes.

“So, you don’t care if you kill someone who’s innocent?”

He moves past the large kitchen island and stands in front of me by the fridge. “Speaking of innocent, P . . .” He drags a finger down my arm as his eyes bore into mine. “What are you doing here so late, and wearing only my brother’s t-shirt?”

I look down at the t-shirt I wear when I sleep over. Colt sets it aside for me. It’s just a plain black t-shirt, but it’s my favorite. Linc’s eyes slide over my bare legs and then back up, waiting for my answer. “We were just sleeping.”

His full lips move into a smile as his eyebrows lift. “Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”

I roll my eyes and push his hand away. “We aren’t all whores, Linc.”

He shakes his head, his eyes examining my body again before landing on my face. He’s standing so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath. “So, you didn’t let him fuck you? Come on, P. It’s his birthday.”

I know he’s teasing me. That’s his style. He loves to push buttons and get a rise out of people. “His fifteenth birthday. We’re too young.”

“That sounds like Colt talking.” I swallow tightly, feeling the tension which Linc picks up on as he leans in even closer. “It is, isn’t it? My little brother is the hold-out. I mean, he wouldn’t want to disappoint Mom and Dad by knocking you up before marriage, now would he?”

“You’re a real asshole sometimes, you know that?”

He clutches his chest in mock surprise. “The mouth on you, Penelope.”

“Stop it, Linc.” It’s a warning. I don’t want to fight with him, but he’s pissing me off.

His hands hold onto my arms as his face creeps close to mine. “I like it.”

“You would.”

His eyes grow darker as he looks into mine, as if I’ve challenged him somehow. “You’re not as good as you want them all to believe.” My body stiffens, and I could slap him, but I remain as calm as I possibly can. He continues to push as he holds me in place, a willing victim in his twisted little game. “I see you, P. You wanted it, didn’t you? Tonight, when you were in his bed, you wondered what it would be like to go all the way.”

“Stop.” My plea is meek and ignored.

His hands release their grip, but they slide down over the length of my bare arms, causing goosebumps to form as he speaks, “You wanted to feel his hands on you. You wanted him to rip your clothes off.” He leans in further, his mouth nearing my ear. “You needed his dick inside you.”

“Linc, don’t.”

I hate the words he’s saying. I hate that my breathing increases and I feel hot all over. Because he’s not wrong. There was a part of me that didn’t want to stop with Colt earlier, that wanted him to plead with me to keep going and would have. The dirty girl under the surface, the one I fight constantly because I don’t belong in this world and I want to feel loved. And deep down, I’m terrified of losing Colt.

He pulls back, his dark eyes looking into mine with a sinister knowing look. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me, P.”

“Why do you have to be like this?”

Colt looks up to his big brother. But I also sense there’s some shame there too, that he doesn’t understand Lincoln and wishes he wasn’t so dark and broken.

“You tell me.”

I hate the way he looks at me, like I’m hiding something and only he knows what it is.

Most of all, I hate that I know he does.