32. Penelope

32

PENELOPE

“ N ora.” I place my hand tentatively on Nora’s shoulder, looking out over the balcony at the sun rising over the water.

I swam with Linc in the lake last night for hours, and then we both went back to our respective rooms in the house, but I didn’t sleep much.

There are so many questions in my head. I feel good about my talk with Linc, but today we go back to the house we share on campus, and I’m afraid it will all turn sour again.

I don’t believe we can ever stop punishing each other.

Nora doesn’t turn toward me, one hand playing with her necklace and the other wrapped around her small waist, looking out over the water. “They all think I loved him the most.”

A gasp catches, and I try not to let it escape. I didn’t expect her to say that, not in a million years. “I know how much you love all of your children.”

“I do.” She’s still, her soul haunted. “They were all I ever wanted. I didn’t grow up in a happy home. I just wanted my children to be happy.”

“They are, Nora.” I know that’s not exactly true now and correct myself. “They all were, at least, and they will be again.”

“How? You heard Asher. He’s so angry with me, and he should be. He’s right. I miss Colt with every part of me. I haven’t been a mother this year. I failed him.”

“You’re grieving.”

She turns to face me, her hand falling from her necklace. “You don’t get to stop being a mother once you become one. It never stops. But I’ve been so lost.”

“We all are.” I see the anguish her eyes and feel my self-hatred creeping back up.

“I know. And I don’t know how to rescue any of you.” She turns back to the lake, her voice quiet. “This trip was supposed to help, but it only did damage.”

I place a hand on her shoulder. “No. I think it was therapeutic in a way.”

Linc and I have lived together for a year and never had a conversation even close to as honest as the one we had last night.

“I just keep staring at the water, knowing he died there. Alone. With us all right here under this roof.”

“I know, but he loved you so much, Nora. The last thing he would want is for you to be sad like this. He would want you to live your life.” I wrap my arm around her shoulder. “Maybe even date someday. Find happiness.”

Nora laughs at that, sniffling through tears. “I don’t see dating in my future.”

I’m not exactly sure of the details of her divorce from Mr. Sterling. All I know is a couple of months after the funeral, he announced he was leaving and that was it. He filed the papers, she didn’t contest it, and they were done.

I don’t think she had it in her to fight anymore.

“Never say never, Nora. You deserve to be happy.”

She smiles and lays her head on my shoulder as we look out over the horizon. “So do you, sweetheart. No matter who it is that makes you happy.”

I feel my entire body tense as she smiles, lifting her head from my shoulder and brushing her hand over my cheek with a smile on her face.

Does she know about me and Linc? Whatever the hell it is?

She kisses my temple. “We better get on the road.”

I nod dumbly as I follow her downstairs, and we all climb into the car, saying goodbye to the lake house yet again.

Who knows if we’ll ever come back? Part of me thinks we got everything we possibly could from this place.