24. Penelope

24

PENELOPE

I can’t stop thinking about Linc being in the lake earlier this morning, the way he looked up at the sky, completely unmoving.

Does he do that often?

I can barely stand to be near the water anymore, but he immersed himself all the way to his neck and lay there, drifting. He looked calm in the water, but as he approached me, I could see he was ready for battle like he always is with me, especially after prom night a year ago.

He hates me.

I don’t blame him.

And he’s right. I like the pain. I lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, knowing there is probably something I should be doing now but not wanting to move.

I turn my head, listless and having to force myself to make that simple movement to look out the window, seeing that the sun is now setting in the sky.

I hear the front door close and know Linc is home, but I’m not sure where he was. I want more punishment. I want to feel something, and pain seems to be the only emotion that registers these days.

My bedroom door is open, and I hear him walking down the hall, knowing this is my chance.

I’m sure he’s still pissed from our argument this morning. For all I know, he’s coming back from being in some other girl’s bed, but I don’t care. Maybe that would make it hurt more.

I lie flat on my bed, facing the door, wearing what I picked out just for him and this moment, a sheer black and white, silky robe left open and a matching lacy black bra and thong.

My hand slides over the tops of my breasts as I listen to his shoes on the wood floor in the hallway and then see his shadow before I see him, his large body crowding my doorway as he stops but doesn’t say a word.

It doesn’t surprise me. He has control.

I push the left side of the robe open further and slip my hand down over my bare stomach as he watches me. What the hell do I have to lose anymore?

He already hates me. Colt is gone. Nora and Lola don’t know anything real and are stuck in their own personal hell because of me.

My hand dips under my panties, sliding underneath to my bare pussy as my eyes connect with him. “It’s your turn to watch.”

His eyes stay trained on me as I run my other hand over my breasts, sliding under one cup of the bra. He walks into my room, his face dark and ominous as he stalks to the bed, his body looming over mine. “I’ve never been one to sit back. I’d rather take what I want.”

I know that’s meant to sting, but it’s the truth. I remove both hands, propping myself up on my elbows and parting my thighs. “So, then take.”

I can feel his irritation as his body moves over mine, those eyes fixed on my own before his mouth moves to my jaw, kissing and sucking his way down before he uses one hand to pin both my wrists above my head.

“You want pain?”

I nod my head once, unable to shake the rush of fear I feel looking into his eyes. “Yes.”

“That’s what you want, P? You want me to fucking hurt you over and over again? Leave a mark on your soul?”

His free hand moves between us, pushing inside my panties. “Yes.”

“You want us both to suffer for one night of pleasure?”

“We should. Everyone else is.”

I feel his fingers slide through my now wet folds before finding my clit, circling around it and making my hips buck up, wanting so much more and hating myself for it.

“That’s right. We had sex when you and Colt broke up, and then somehow, everything that happened after that was all on us.”

My thighs clench together as I feel the pleasure rising when he punishes my clit and his arm pushes my leg down toward the bed, granting him better access as his hand holds my wrists in a tight grip. “It was just a stupid fight with him.”

His lips hover over mine, and his voice is all gravel. “When he called you dirty and wouldn’t fuck you, made you feel like trash.”

I revolt against a sob, hating the truth, despising how Colt made me feel that night. My hips thrust forward when he slips a finger deep inside me and then pulls it back only to thrust inside me again, then moving back to my clit, pushing me toward the edge of release. “He was still my boyfriend. I owed him more than going straight to his brother.”

He nips on my bottom lip and tugs with his teeth before growling, “And what did you do with his brother?”

I barely recognize him. I see the torture on his face and know this is killing him too, reliving that night. And I’m so fucking twisted, I can feel the gratification rising low in my belly. My eyes meet his. “I fucked him.”

My hands jerk as I feel the orgasm coming, but he holds onto my wrists tightly and then stops moving his hand, pulling a whimper from my throat. “Linc, don’t stop. I’m there.”

The smirk on his face is sinister. “You wanted pain.”

“I still want to come.”

“What’s the fun in that, P?”

He moves his hands out of my panties, and I grind my hips forward, trying to get some friction, anything to push myself over the ledge he left me on. “Linc . . .”

“What’s the matter?”

I glare at him, fire burning inside as I’m dying for release. “Let go of me so I can finish myself.”

He doesn’t budge, his body on top of me and my wrist in his hands. “Be patient, P. We have all night, don’t we? Hell, we have a whole lifetime.”

“Fuck you.”

It’s not intelligent and does no good, but my body writhes under him, begging for the release that was promised. He only smirks.

“Linc what are you going to do? Hold me here all night?”

“Maybe.”

“What can I do?” I’m not past bargaining at this point. “What do you want? Me not to offer sex anymore?”

He laughs, but it’s not funny, and we both know it. “Are you even capable of that? I seem to be your favorite toy.”

“I fucking hate you. Shouldn’t be too hard.”

“You would think.”

I wonder if I can knee him in the balls. Probably not at this angle.

His hand moves over my stomach. “You want to come, P?”

I bite my bottom lip, hating myself even more. “Yes.”

His hand moves back to my panties, and I sigh in relief when I feel his fingers inside me and the swirl over my clit. A few strokes and I’ll be free. I just want to come and then get him the fuck out of here.

“I’ve been thinking about your little game today, Penelope. How you’ve punished me since the day after that first night together.”

I move my hips with him, chasing the orgasm and barely listening to his words as my head tilts back into the fluffy pillow underneath my head, feeling the waves start to crash, my body almost there.

“Thinking about every fight, every snide remark, every single time we’ve fucked since then, watching you drink yourself nearly to death and fuck strangers.”

My fingers thread into each other as I start to climb toward the glorious peak. “Like you haven’t tortured the hell out of me, Linc.”

“Oh, I have. No one ever said I don’t like playing with you too.”

His hand stops, and I can’t stifle the cry that escapes my lips as my body revolts, shaking with rage. “What the fuck, Linc?’

“I decided I like your little game. I like it not being a secret. Let’s just go for the gold, huh? Come up with really, truly fucked-up ways to hurt each other.” His eyes lock on mine as he holds me underneath him with all the power. “Does it hurt, P?”

“You’re such a fucking asshole.”

It doesn’t bother him at all. “You know what I like most about fucking you?” He doesn’t wait for me to answer, and I struggle to get out of his hold because I don’t want to hear it. “There’s a little gasp you make right before you come.” His lips slide over my cheek. “It’s like you can’t believe how good it feels.”

I despise him. My eyes meet his with the fury I feel creeping through my aching body. “Get the fuck off me.”

He simply nods, knowing his little game was successful as he lays a slow kiss on my forehead before releasing me and climbing off my bed.

“Don’t play with me, P, unless you’re truly ready.”

He leaves, closing the door behind him. I cinch the robe around me with my hands clinging to it and turn to sob into my pillow, my entire body wracked with guilt, pain, and anger.

Knowing I have it all coming, but my mind already going over the ways I can get him back and what else he’ll do to me.

Because it will never be enough.