18. Penelope

18

PENELOPE

L inc is looking at me with loathing as we sit at the dining room table with his mom and sister.

Nora looks as beautiful as ever, but it’s obvious the last year has taken a toll on her although she’s still wearing that contagious smile.

I look at her left ring finger as she pushes the pasta we ordered in around on her plate. There’s a tan line where a grand diamond ring once sat.

I know the divorce had to be hard on her. Of course, I’m sure it stings even more that her husband is now shacked-up with his twenty-six-year-old mistress—oh, I’m sorry, she’s now been upgraded to girlfriend—in the city.

I try to ignore Linc’s glare from across the table and hate that he wasn’t lying about his father’s indiscretions. I wanted them to be a happy couple.

“So, Linc said you’re doing great in school.” Nora is beaming as she looks at me. “Not that I’m surprised.”

I take a small bite of pasta and look over at Linc. “He said that, huh?”

“Yes. He did.” Nora is smiling so brightly, and I know she’s here to check on me.

Linc’s eyes darken as they hold me riveted, threatening me.

“Well, it’s a great school. How could I not do well?”

“That’s so great, Penelope. Have you thought about a major?”

“Not yet.” It hasn’t even crossed my mind, and all the freshmen classes I’m currently in are introduction courses.

“Well, that’s perfectly fine. You have plenty of time.”

“Thank you, Nora.” I don’t want to disappoint or hurt her. That’s the last thing in the world I want to do.

I have no idea why Linc is so pissed-off. I did exactly what he told me to do. When he left me alone in the shower thinking about Colt and what we did the other night in the living room and then in my bed, I got out and got ready.

I took time and dried my hair and then curled it and put in a nice clip. I took a lot of time on my makeup. I found a cardigan Nora gave me for Christmas to cover up and not show too much skin and matched it with black pants.

I’m trying here.

“Yeah, P. I know how much you love school, but eventually, you’re going to have to leave.”

I glare at him. He loves to fuck with me. “That will definitely be hard to do.”

“Aw, you’ll be great at whatever you decide to do, Penelope.” Nora has always been so supportive and kind to me. It makes me feel ill, knowing the truth.

She never saw the real me and always gave me the benefit of the doubt, always told me I could do anything in this world. She put so much effort into me, taking me shopping and educating me over the years, trying to better me.

“Thank you, Nora.” For everything.

Linc’s eyes haven’t left me, and I struggle not to kick him under the table.

We finish dinner, and I clear the table. Nora joins me, crossing the island separating the kitchen from the open dining room while Linc and Lola stay seated at the table.

Nora fluffs my hair out, looking into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful. I’m so happy you’re doing well.”

I fight a cry creeping inside my throat. “It’s all thanks to you.”

I’d have never been able to afford college if she hadn’t insisted on paying for it. And I’m squandering the opportunity. “I’m so happy to do it.”

She hugs me to her chest, and I don’t ever want her to let go, feeling her warmth and love in that one simple embrace.

I wish I could tell her all the things I’ve done. The truth claws its way to the surface every time I’m around her—all of the horrible things I’ve done, the lies, who I truly am inside.

She doesn’t know any of it.

She pulls back, and I see her wipe a tear from her cheek, nearly killing me with my own self-hatred.

“We should get going.” She looks over at Lola, who rises from the table.

“Yeah, it’s a horrid drive.”

“It’s not that bad.” Linc shrugs as he stands, and we all walk toward the front door.

“Well, maybe you could make that drive a little more then, Linc.” Lola smiles sweetly at him while guilting him into visiting more.

But I know why he doesn’t. It’s the same reason I don’t.

“I’ll try.”

Nora squeezes him to her chest. “I hope so. I miss you.”

“I miss you too.” Linc’s arms swallow her small frame as she kisses his cheek, and then she gives me another hug.

“If he comes to visit, you come with him, okay?”

I nod my head in agreement without any hesitation. “Absolutely.”

Lola hugs us both, and then they leave the house, taking with them all their warmth and happiness, leaving the house cold and barren of hope.

Linc closes the door, and I see their headlights disappear as I unbutton the cardigan and take it off, leaving me in a cropped, maroon tube top. I place the cardigan on the back of the couch.

Linc walks over to me, the glare ever present for me. “Why didn’t you just wear that?”

I roll my eyes and flop down on the couch. “I don’t think your mom would like it much.”

“Do you?”

“Linc, I’m tired. I did what you asked. I cleaned up.”

“No.” He stands in front of me. “You changed into someone totally fucking different. I just didn’t want puke in your hair or cum on your pants, or vice versa.”

“Fuck you.”

He sits down next to me on the couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. “Yeah, I mean, more than likely it would have been my cum, unless you snuck out yesterday.”

I hate him, but I’m oddly comfortable with him too.

I lay down on my back with my head in his lap, looking up at his handsome face. “I didn’t. I drank and passed out.”

“Classy.”

“That’s me.”

He looks down at me in his lap. “This is you. Why do you hide that from them?”

“I’m a trainwreck, Linc. And you know it. You’ve always known it.”

He looks pained. “You’re P. And so what if you’re fucked-up. We all are.”

I see a trace of him from before everything was ruined. The asshole who was sweet enough to talk me into moving into his family’s house because he wanted me to feel safe. “Your family has been ripped apart, Linc.” Our eyes are locked as I look up at him. “This is all our fault.”

“Stop saying that.”

“You know it’s true.”

It’s a cold, harsh whisper because he knows the truth like I do.

What we did destroyed us all.