Chapter Four

Savannah

VALOR HAS BEEN up my ass for the last week since I got beaten up by Conrad in my own home. It took me losing my shit before he'd let me out of my bed so I could walk around the house and try to ease the sore muscles filling my body. He wanted me to remain in bed until all the marks faded from sight and that's not something I can do. I hate staying in bed and have been easing off on taking the pain medicine when I don't have to. I'd rather take over the counter medicine than the stuff that knocks me on my ass because I hate feeling so completely out of it. So, after going off on him, he finally conceded and let me out of bed. Now, when I walk anywhere, Valor follows behind me in case I fall or get dizzy. I hate it, but he's not wrong. The first day I got out of bed, I almost fell because I was dizzy. Conrad hit my head harder than I thought he did and I almost collapsed when the hall appeared as one of those mirror houses because my vision was so blurry. It sucks, but gets better every day.

I've tried cleaning the house and Valor yells at me to stop and rest or he'll carry me back into the bedroom and tie me to the bed. The first time he said that, I couldn't help the images that flashed through my mind. Valor has more than gotten me out of my shell when it comes to sex. He made sure I liked everything he ever did to me and pushed me to break out of my comfort zone. With him, I wasn't afraid to let go and try new things because I knew I was safe in his arms and he would never judge me for anything I wanted to try. It took way too much effort on my part to push the images aside and not think about Valor tying me to anything in the bedroom. Fucker! So, I've stopped trying to clean the house and let him and the girls take care of the cooking and cleaning.

The girls love having Valor back with us. They laugh, talk, and hang out with him every second of the day. I've heard them in the kitchen when they're cooking and watched as Valor has danced with the girls while cooking. Things that he used to do with them before he left all those years ago. I didn't realize how much the girls missed out on all of it until now. Seeing them let loose and act like teenage girls again is something I missed and didn't realize it because I tried to push everything concerning Valor out of my head. By doing that, I've hurt my sisters and they're the ones who paid the price for my broken heart. That's not something I'll let continue happening because their happiness means everything to me and I can't take something so simple and pure from them because it reminds me too much of something, or someone, I don't want to think about.

When I got out of bed and started moving around the house, I called Shy to bring the girls home. I want them with me because it's my responsibility to take care of them and be there. Yeah, I appreciate everything Slim and Shy did to help me take care of the girls, but I'm well enough to get out of bed so I'm capable of taking care of them. Shy didn't bitch or try to talk me out of them coming home. She fully supports every single thing I do and the decisions I make in my life. If there's one person here who I trust implicitly, it's Shy because she's listened to me over the years and knows everything about me. The only thing she doesn't know is why I pushed Valor away and didn't move to Pine View with him.

Miracle, Ava, and Chloe were happy to be home. They rushed up to me and gave me the biggest hugs. Well, after I assured them they weren't going to hurt me from a hug. Yeah, I still hurt and my ribs are going to bother me for a long time still. However, the pain is something I'll have to deal with until the bruising goes away and it always takes forever. I've watched the guys over the years enough to know that it will take weeks for my ribs to heal. Right now, it's all I can do to take a full breath without blacking out from pain. My sisters are all getting so big and I can't believe they're all teenagers now. In a few weeks I have to actually go get Ava her permit and she'll be driving. I'm not ready for that shit and I think I'm going to talk to the guys about being the ones to teach her. I don't think I can survive getting in the car with her as she learns, or be the one to teach her.

Walking out of my room, the house is quiet. It's the quietest I've ever heard it since Valor walked back into our lives. Fear fills me as I walk as quickly as I can through the house in search of my sisters. No one's inside as I go to the front door and fling it open so hard it slams against the wall. My ribs are killing me because I'm panting as the fear takes hold of me and I search frantically for my sisters. I hear them, barely, as I run off the porch and around the side of the house. Valor and the girls are washing his motorcycle. Another thing they've missed doing since he moved away. Ava has the hose in her hand and is pointing it at the other three. All four of them are soaking wet and I know they've been out here long enough to not only start washing the bike, but to play in the water.

Relief fills me as I lean against the side of the house and try to calm myself down from the fear that Conrad had gotten to my sisters starts to fade away.

"Love, are you okay?" Valor asks me, pulling me from the fog invading my mind as he rests his hands on my shoulders. "Your breathin' is too fast and you're covered in sweat. What's wrong?"

"I didn't know where the girls were. The house was too quiet and I thought . . .," I trail off, looking up at Valor as realization hits him and he pulls me into his arms and holds me close.

For a few seconds, I let him hold me and savor the warmth and strength of his body. I close my eyes and breathe in the familiar scent of leather, oil, and something woodsy. More than likely his body wash. After a minute of letting myself get too close to Valor, I push away from him and look at the girls again. I need to see them and make sure Conrad doesn't have them.

"He's not gonna get to you and the girls, Love. If it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure he suffers for puttin' a hand on you and take everythin' from him. The girls wanted to wash the bike and it needed to be cleaned. You were still sleepin' and I didn't wanna wake you up. I'm sorry. I should've thought about how you'd react if you woke up and didn't hear us in the house," Valor says, pain filling his voice as he looks down at me and the tears filling my eyes. "Next time, I'll wake you up."

"There won't be a next time, Valor. It's time for you to go home. I'm healed enough to take care of the girls and I don't need you here. Take today to spend with them, and then I don't want you here any longer. It's too hard on everyone when you walk away. I'm the one who will have to pick up the pieces of the girls' broken hearts when you leave again. You'll be living your life and doing what you want with no thought of us as it's been the last almost six years now. Besides, Annabell is more than likely gonna need you there to keep Vault in check with her pregnancy. I just found out about that last night. So, for now, I'm gonna go to the clubhouse to see Gwen and Shy. Tomorrow, you're gone, Valor," I state, knowing it's the right thing to do because I can't continue being around him and keep all of my feelings pushed down and hidden from Valor and everyone else.

"I'm not leavin' yet, Love. I'm where I should be because you still haven't fully healed. Your ribs are gonna take a while to heal and you know that shit. Vault knows what's goin' on and he understands that I won't be home for a while yet," Valor says as I turn to walk away from him. We'll see what happens tomorrow.

Walking across the yard separating my house from the clubhouse, I let the sun warm my skin and take in the world around me. The sky is the brightest blue and there's not a cloud in the sky. Birds fly through the air without a care in the world, soaring on the wind as it takes them from one destination to the next with a few flaps of their wings. I wish I could live like them and take off, letting the wind push me to my next destination and not worry about all the shit going on around me. I've been responsible for the girls and myself most of my life and I'm so tired. Every decision I make has to be with them in mind and it's exhausting some days to put them before what I want to do. But, I won't change my life because the girls are my world and I will never leave them alone to fend for themselves the way our mother did. It would just be nice to have someone to share everything with and I don't have that. I thought I did with Valor, but he turned out to be worse.

Slim is outside when I get across the parking lot, working on his bike or something. He looks up and smiles at me.

"It's good to see you outta the house, Savannah. How are you feelin' today?' he asks me, standing up and wiping his hands on a rag shoved in the back pocket of his jeans.

"I'm sore as hell still. I know I'll be dealing with that for a while. But, I need to get out of bed and the house. Valor is all over the damn place and I need a break from him," I state, knowing Slim will understand even if he doesn't know what's going on between the two of us.

"The bruises are healin' nicely, sweetheart. They're not as dark today. Your ribs are gonna be the worst part of healin'. Some days you'll feel as if you can run a marathon again and the next takin' a breath will put you in agony. And forget about movin' properly. That's gonna take a while still," he says, looking down at me with a small smile on his face as he thinks of all the injuries he's had over the years. Yeah, Slim's speaking from experience.

"I know. That's the worst part for sure. Conrad knew what the hell he was doing. I'm guessing all the guys know?" I ask him, as I lace my fingers together and look up at one of the men who's helped me countless times over the years.

"Yeah. Told them in church. Everyone is out lookin' for this cocksucker. We'll get him, Savannah. Just know the girls and you are safe and this twatwaffle won't get to you again," Slim states, determination filling his voice along with the promise that he'll keep his word.

"I'm gonna go see Gwen and Shy. Are they inside?" I ask him, wrapping my arms around Slim in a hug that he doesn't hesitate to return.

"Yeah. The boys are outback ridin' dirt bikes so the ol' ladies are in the common room. At least they were when I came out here," he says, a knowing look on his face because none of the women like watching the boys ride the dirt bikes. Or the girls because most of them ride too.

Walking inside, I find Gwen and Shy sitting on the couch talking about something. Shy spots me first and waves me over to join them. Slowly, I make my way over to them and sit down at the end of the couch so I can lean against the arm and keep a pillow behind me to help me get comfortable.

"Are you okay?" Gwen asks me, concern filling her face as she takes me in from head to toe.

No one other than Shy has seen me since I got beat up and I'm sure it's a shock to see me even after over a week of healing. Tears fill her eyes as she takes in every bruise, cut, and scrape of my skin. I reach out to grab her hand and hold on for a few minutes without saying a word because nothing needs to be said about it. We've all seen one another like this over the years for one reason or another.

"I'll be okay, Gwen. It's a lot of healing and I still get tired from doing nothing at all, but every day gets a little better than the last. He's not gonna keep me down for long. So, how are you guys doing?" I ask, wanting the attention off of me as I release Gwen's hand and put mine back in my lap.

"We're all good here. You know how it goes. The boys are out riding the bikes and one of these days they're gonna crash while the men watch on. Hell, they got the girls out there riding and they're almost worse than the boys are. Always feeling as if they gotta prove themselves when they don't," Shy answers, a grimace on her face as she folds her arms over her chest. Rayven or Kinsliegh must be out there for her to be this pissy about the boys riding. "So, what's going on with you and Valor? Is he driving you crazy?"

"Valor always drives me crazy. I just told him today that it's the last day he'll be at the house. He needs to go back to Pine View and continue living his life. The girls are gonna be the ones hurt again so he can spend the day with them and tomorrow our lives will return to normal. Valor doesn't get to hurt my sisters again by coming here and then disappearing again," I state, my heart beating out of my chest with the thought of him leaving again but I have no choice but to make him go away.

"Ya know, I never did understand what happened between the two of you," Gwen says, turning to look at me and give me her full attention. "One day you two were all over one another and the next you started looking at him like he was the biggest piece of shit you ever saw. What happened?"

"Well, I found letters that he'd been writing to a girl. Telling her how much he loved her, that he'd wait for her to deal with her current relationship because he knew it wasn't making her happy, and all sorts of shit like that. He never gave them to her, but it's the point that he was in love with someone else while fucking me and sharing my bed. Telling me things that he wasn't ever gonna follow through with. That broke my heart, but I could deal with it. I was planning on telling him that we weren't gonna continue sleeping together, but then I came over here to get away from the house and what I saw shattered me.

"Valor was here and was half naked. His arm was around one of the house bunnies. She was soaking wet and he was closer than he needed to be. They disappeared from the common room together and it doesn't take a genius to know they were going somewhere to fuck. Not when he was already half naked. It just further proved my point that I was nothing more than a notch on his bed post. I'm better than that. It might have taken me a very long time to realize my worth, but I know I don't deserve to be treated like a piece of shit who will look the other way as he fucks every female and then comes back to my bed," I tell the two women in front of me for the first time in almost six years. No one has ever heard what happened between the two of us until today.

"Are you sure he was going to fuck her?" Shy questions me, always trying to be the voice of reason in these kinds of situations. "'Cause the man I know was fucking head over heels in love with you and wanted you more than I've seen a man want a woman."

"I'm sure. She made sure to rub it in my face every time she saw me. Just one of the reasons I try not to come over here if I don't have to. Don't get me wrong, I'll always help you guys out for cookouts and things, but I don't want to be around the woman who wants to rub it in my face that she was fucking Valor the same time I was. Plus, he was in love with another woman. I'm sure he still is. Valor didn't love me. He wanted to fuck me and helped me with the girls, but that's it," I tell her, pain filling me as the woman in question enters the common room and makes her way over to us as I try to get off the couch without pain filling me. It's time for me to leave here if she's gonna be around.

"Don't leave, Savannah. Please," she says, her voice softer than I've ever heard it as Shy turns to face her with a scowl on her face. "I didn't fuck Valor that day. I've never fucked him. At that point, I was upset because I wanted him and I'm not going to lie about it. But, he told me flat out that he was with you and not going to cheat on you with me or anyone else. I'm sorry I lied to you."

I have no words. This woman did her best to make me hate Valor and feel as if I were nothing. The only other woman that ever made me feel the same way is my mother. Gwen grabs my hand and holds it in hers as Killer and Playboy enter the common room, talking about the boys riding until they see the small group of us. Instantly they're at our sides and looking from me to the house bunny and back again.

"Everythin' good here?" Playboy questions as Killer walks to Gwen and lifts her in his arms before taking her seat and placing his woman in his lap.

"Yep. I was just gonna head home," I answer, not wanting to be around this house bunny any longer. "Girls, thanks for the talk. I'll see you later."

"I'll walk you home," Playboy says as I carefully get off the couch and he does nothing to help me because I'll bitch if he does.

With a nod of my head, I try to push the house bunny's words from my mind. Apparently I didn't see what I thought I did that day here in the common room. It really doesn't change the fact that I will never be with Valor because he's in love with Kasey though. What we had was special and what I needed at the time. Now, the same isn't true. I want a man who is only gonna love me and no one else. Call it selfish if you want, but I'm not going to be anyone's second choice. I'll remain single forever before I resort to that shit. Telling the girls goodbye, I let Playboy walk me home where I head straight for the bedroom and lock myself away to cry. It's been a long day and it's not even lunch time yet. I'm ready for it to be over with so Valor can leave and head home where he belongs.