Epilogue

Hope

Four years later

EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED so much over the last four years. Vault and Annabell have had their second baby. They've got a little girl named Torrin Elizabeth who will be turning two years old soon and Cyrus will be four this year. Both of them are so adorable and I can't wait to see them again. We don't get to see them nearly enough if you ask me. Valor and Savannah also had their twins. They had two little boys. Bishop James and Saxon Michael were born on Christmas Eve in the middle of a snow storm. They couldn't even get Savannah to the hospital because the roads were closed with a ton of snow and ice on them. The only reason the club even had power when she delivered the boys is because of the back-up generator and Vault ordering everyone to the clubhouse so no one was alone. It was a smart decision on his part and I'm glad Valor wasn't alone with the girls when Savannah went into labor. Bishop and Saxon will be four this year like Cyrus and I want to see them both so bad. Along with Ava, Chloe, and Miracle. I miss them all so much.

We don't know much about club business, but it was hard to not hear the members and ol' ladies discussing Conrad and his trial. The TVs in the clubhouse and our homes were constantly on the news channels so everyone could keep up with the trial that affected so many lives. We all watched it and cheered when Conrad, his father, and so many others got sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole. That was the day Savannah could finally take a full breath and put everything with Conrad behind her. No, she'll never forget what happened to her, but she knows he'll never follow through on his threats to get to her when he gets out of prison and kill her. Savannah is safe, the girls are safe, and Valor isn't going to let anyone get close enough to hurt them again.

Since then, I've finally graduated from high school, the boys have almost completed their Prospecting period and will be moving to Pine View to join the new chapter of the club with Vault and Valor. It seems like everyone around me knows what they want to do with their life and where they're going. My sister Faith is going to college. She's been accepted by a ton of them and took forever to make her decision about staying local to our family and getting her education. Most of the girls have moved on in one way or another and I feel as if I'm adrift in a sea all on my own.

Carson, the boy I've had a crush on for as long as I can remember will no longer be in Benton Falls. He's happy to be moving to Pine View and getting away from his family so he's not living in the shadow of his dad and grandpa when it comes to the Phantom Bastards. Carson wants to live his own life and make his own path in life. I can't really blame him. His grandpa is Slim and Playboy is his dad. Those two have led this club for longer than we've all been alive. The men are amazing and have garnered quite the reputation over the years. I think that's why most of the boys have decided to move to Pine View and are so excited to get out on their own for the first time in their lives.

I'm the odd one out and it's been like that most of my life. See, my dad is Killer and he's so strict with Faith and me. We can hardly do anything outside of the clubhouse. Hell, even here at the clubhouse we can hardly do anything. There's no riding dirt bikes with the other kids, we can't hang out if we're not in view of the house, and there's so many other rules. If someone isn't a club kid, I wouldn't have had any friends growing up. Even then my dad wasn't happy when we would hang out with the boys. Even Kingston wasn't safe from his glare and he's my damn cousin.

Growing up, Faith and I had one another and that was okay when we were younger. Now, we have no freedom to open up and find out who we are as individuals. When we weren't in school, we had to come straight home to do our homework and nothing more than that. The only times we were allowed outside the house was if my dad was on a run or not at the clubhouse for some reason. Our mom didn't let us do much, but she wasn't as strict as Dad. Now, I have no clue what I want to do with my life or who I am as a person. I've rebelled plenty over the years and there's things my dad would kill me over if he knew. However, I had to do something or I'd have gone crazy growing up. Besides, Faith always tells the truth and refuses to cover for me when I try to have any fun. So, I gave up and try to do what my dad wants me to at this point. It's just so hard when it means I'm stuck in the house or on the porch where I'm currently sitting in the swing to enjoy the last of the day before I'm called in for dinner.

"Sweetheart, what are you doing out here?" my mom asks, walking out the front door of our home and sitting with me on the swing.

"I'm just thinking about things. About life," I answer, resting my head on her shoulder and letting her run her fingers through my hair like she did when I was a little girl and sick or upset about something.

"And what exactly are you thinking that has such a sad look on your face, Hope?" she asks, resting her hand on my cheek until I look up at her.

"Mom, I love Dad. You know that as much as he does. And I get that you've been through some rough shit and for the longest time didn't know if you were gonna die with every passing day. It took you a long time to let anyone in and trust those around you. I'm sorry you had such a horrible childhood. But, Dad takes his protection of us way too seriously. I can't do a single thing and have no clue what I'm meant to be doing or who I am as a person because he doesn't let us do anything. I've graduated high school and don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do with my life," I tell her honestly, my voice wavering as tears fill my eyes and spill over.

"Baby, your dad is just doing the best he can to protect you and Faith," my mom says, taking his side once again as I look up at her.

I don't ever want to come between my parents. The love they have for one another is unimaginable and what I aspire to find myself someday. However, he can't keep me locked up and in the house and doing nothing without him losing his shit. I don't have any clue what I can do to get him to loosen his tight hold over us. I'm eighteen now and there's still nothing I can do to get him to loosen his hold so I can live my life. He won't even let me move out on my own if it's not in the apartments the club owns just past the house Savannah and the girls lived in for so long.

"I know that he wants to protect us, but there's no way I can live by his rules all the time, Mom. I want to move out on my own and discover myself and the path I'm meant to walk down. Dad will never let me go enough so I can. More than anything, I want to move to Pine View so I can get away from him and live my life," I tell my mom as she looks at me in shock before masking her look again.

"Hope, I had no clue you felt that way. How long have you been thinking about moving away from Benton Falls?" my mom asks, her voice filled with the tears I know she's trying to hold back from me seeing her cry.

"Almost as long as the boys found out about the new club and have been talking about moving there. If I tell Dad that's what I want to do, he's going to lose his mind and yell at me. Tell me that I'm not allowed to go there. He'll think it has to do with some guy or something when that's not the case at all. I mean, honestly, if he thinks about it rationally, he would realize that I'd be safer moving to Pine View with everyone else because I'd be watched and protected by them," I state, finally getting everything I've held back for so long out in the open when it comes to my dad.

"Hope, I can't tell you what to do. Your dad has reasons why he is the way he acts with Faith and you. No one will ever be able to change his mind about the way he protects you girls. It's just his way," my mom says, trying to once again defend him when I'm done listening to it.

"I'm sorry, Mom, but no. I've never met a single other man that takes things as far as he does. Even Uncle Fox doesn't keep his girls locked in the house. They're allowed to go out with friends, have friends, play sports, do more than go to school and come back home again. Faith and I have never been given any sense of freedom so we can make our own mistakes or experience anything. I'm surprised he let us go on the senior trip. And I know the only reason that happened is because Playboy and Sam went as chaperones. If they hadn't gone with us, Faith and I would've been kept home and not allowed to go with our class. You can't even deny the truth in that," I state, standing from the swing and making my way toward the door. "I love you both so much and that will never change, Mom. But right now, I don't want to be around either one of you. Dad will never change his ways and I will never understand why you defend him the way you do. I know you love him and will always defend him, but there are other ways to show that love."

Before my mom can say another word, I head inside and close the door gently behind me. Yes, I regret the words I've just said to my mom but it's the truth. She will always defend him to everyone around and he will never change his ways. My dad is a good man deep down and I know he will always protect us from the evil of the world. Unfortunately, he can't always save the day and the more he holds me back, the more I want to leave Benton Falls to get away from him. Bypassing the dining room where I listen to my sister and dad talking, I make my way up the stairs to my room. Closing the door behind me, I make sure the door is locked before collapsing on my bed and letting my eyes slide closed as the tears continue to slide down my face and collect on the blankets under me. One way or another I'm going to talk to my dad and make him see how miserable I am with the way he treats us. It's the only thing I can do.