30. Alana

THIRTY

Alana

I felt like we had a secret, just the two of us.

Like that thing where you just

wanna be with one person all the time.

You feel like the two of you get

something no one else gets.

~ American Hustle

I grab my cell on a whim while Stevens drops the motor and turns it on so we can dock. After I’ve sent two texts, I pocket my cell and walk over to Stevens.

“I have a surprise for you. Do you like surprises?” I ask him.

“Honestly?”

“Of course.”

“No. I don’t particularly enjoy surprises. But I like you.” He kisses me on my nose and tugs me into a hug.

I snuggle into him, soaking up moments like this one before life hits the gas pedal again.

Then it hits me. This harbor isn’t private like the one where Joel parks his boat. We’re also closer to the resort. I’ve been so relaxed that I nearly forgot about being Alana Graves for a whole afternoon. Now, I remember.

I fumble around my bag for my ball cap, a hair tie and my Jackie Ohhs. Once I’m in some semblance of a disguise, I walk back over to Stevens who is puttering around locking things and wrapping the lines around the metal thingies on the side of the boat.

“So, you know how I said you could tell the people you trust about us?”

“Yeah. I’d probably only tell Kai. He’s the one I trust the most.” Stevens glances over at me. “I trust them all, but Kai’s the one I go to if I need to talk something out.”

I hope I didn’t misstep here, but I want people to know. I’m only protecting Stevens from the media hearing about us. As much as I love squirreling Stevens away like my own private stash of happiness, I want to live like a couple, surrounded by people who care about us. I’m tired of my tower. I think of that cartoon movie Brigitte showed me. Just like Rapunzel, I’m finally feeling that this is when my life actually begins—with him.

I put my hand on Stevens’ cheek. It’s a little scruffy. I look up into his eyes. He thinks I’m going to kiss him. I can tell by the way he glances down at my lips and back up into my eyes. When his eyelids start to shut, I decide I’d better kiss him first. It’s not like it’s a hardship.

My hand stays on his jaw and he dips his head low, splaying his palm on my back. Our lips meet in a comforting, soft, sweet kiss.

I pull back, Stevens is still holding me to himself.

“I did a thing. I hope you won’t mind,” I confess.

“What sort of a thing?”

His lips pinch together slightly and his mouth tips up in that adorable half-smile.

“I asked Summer and Ben to see if everyone wanted to join us for a bonfire tonight on the southernmost beach in Descanso.”

“You … asked my friends to a bonfire? ”

“Technically, they’re my friends too. I just don’t see them often enough to really connect with them the way you have. Maybe they can be … our friends?”

“Our friends.” He smiles. “I like that.”

He kisses my lips again. “I can’t believe you organized a bonfire.” His lips trail across my jaw in a series of lazy kisses and then down to my shoulder. His eyes meet mine when he lifts his head. “You do know a bonfire will be held outdoors, in public, where someone could possibly see us.”

“Summer said that part of the beach is pretty private. Most people use the pits nearer to the resort. It will be dark out. I just … want this.”

“I want it too. It’s basically everything I want.” He lifts his hand and starts touching his fingertips one by one as he lists out his wants. “You. I want you. Any way I can get you.” He smiles down at me and lets that statement sink in. “And you hanging out with my friends, relaxing. That’s basically my whole list.” He’s holding up two fingers to emphasize his point. “Good surprise, Graves.”

I giggle. “I like when you call me Graves. It makes me feel like a ball player or something. No one calls me Graves.”

“I’m glad you like it.”

Stevens shakes his head and chuckles.

“What’s so funny?” I ask.

“Ben. I’m thinking about what he’ll say when he sees us together. He’s going to give me so much shade.”

“He’s one of a kind.” That guy makes me laugh every time I see him.

“That’s one way to put it.”

We share a smile and then I look around. I need to make a getaway to wherever we’re going next without being seen.

Stevens must sense the shift in my mood.

“I was going to make you dinner—at my place,” he tells me.

“But? …”

“But, nothing. I still want to. I don’t know if that’s what you want. Afterward, I was going to take a friend’s glass bottom kayak out into the water, sort of near where we’re going to be hanging with our friends.”

He emphasizes the word our , and I love the sound of it. Our friends. I want to share everything with him, friends, my life … everything except what’s on the other side of the ocean from here.

“I wanted to experience the bioluminescence with you.” He tugs gently on the mass of untamed curls coming out the back of my ball cap.

“Like the lanterns …” I say to myself.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’d love to see that sometime with you. Are you okay with the change in plans?”

“I want to do whatever makes you happy.” He says it so easily.

I scroll through my brain trying to remember another time anyone who mattered to me has ever said anything like that to me. Brigitte has told me I need to get a life. But she’s never said she’d do anything for me and my happiness. Of course, she does things for me every day. But she’s on payroll. And yes, a part of her would still have my back if we weren’t connected by my career and hers. But she’s not driven to make me happy. She wouldn’t bend to whatever I like just to see me smile. Stevens will. I think he always will.

“I’d love dinner at your place,” I tell him. “And then time with our friends on the beach.”

Stevens nods and heads toward the side of the boat nearest to the dock. “I’ve got a cart ready. Just walk alongside me like you paid me to take you out sailing. I’m constantly taking people up and down this dock to my boats. No one will pay a lick of attention to us.”

“I hope you’re right. Even on Marbella, if I’m near the resort, it tends to be a crapshoot as to whether someone will recognize me.”

“But you came to Cucina to meet me—where you could have been recognized by anyone. ”

“I had to. I wanted to meet you so badly.”

Stevens hops out of the boat with the agility of a man who’s been living on the ocean his whole life. Then he extends me his hand and helps me onto the dock. I do as he said, walking alongside him like he’s just another taxi driver … which, he was, only weeks ago. It feels like years.

We make it to the cart without any major interference. Stevens drives me to his home where he grills us burgers served with a salad and some sliced fruit. I don’t eat everything. I can’t. I’ve got gowns and preselected outfits to fit into over the coming weeks. We eat in his backyard. It’s simple and absolutely perfect.

When the meal is over, the sun is only just beginning to set. It’s that dusky time of day where everything dims just enough to blend together. The orange glow of the sunset etches into the clouds overhead in hues of pastel pink, lavender and pale yellow.

“We could walk to the beach, if you like,” I offer.

“I would like that. Are you sure you’re ready to come out as my girlfriend?”

“I’m not trying to hide you for any other reason than I want to keep the media from having a field day with you. Once they find out about us, they’ll hunt you down like a wounded gazelle. I don’t watch the Nature Channel for a reason.”

He chuckles.

“You laugh now. They can be so vicious.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had to be on the other side of that kind of treatment.”

“Me? I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Said the gazelle.” I mutter my words, but my heart clenches at the reality.

It’s not a matter of if, but when.

Stevens is strong. He’s quiet, but he’s got this incredibly solid core inside—like an inner bedrock. Still, he’s never been the victim of the paparazzi. I’ve seen them level even the most confident of stars. I’ll do anything to keep him from that kind of abuse.

We walk to the beach holding hands. I know I’m being a little reckless, but I crave connection with Stevens so much, and our time is limited. As much as I’d do anything to protect him, I can’t bring myself not to indulge in our time together. Besides, we’re walking down sleepy streets in beach neighborhoods and then out onto the sand at a more deserted section of the beach. The fire is already going in the pit when we walk up, and our friends are all here.

During dinner, Summer texted me saying they decided to barbecue on the sand. I told her Stevens was cooking for me and we’d meet them later.

Ben is the first to look up as we approach. I wish I could catch his reaction on camera. He looks at me, then at Stevens, then at our enjoined hands. Back at me. Then to Stevens again.

Ben’s jaw literally drops and he stands there with his mouth open for a beat of one … two … three … And then he’s shouting, “OH! MY! GOSH! What am I seeing? Wait. Wait. Waiiiiiitt. Okay. Okay. I know what happened. You,” he points at Stevens. “You were fixing something at her place. And you used superglue. And somehow you grabbed her hand and you’re stuck together. Alana. Sweetheart. Hang in there. Why didn’t we ever come up with a safe word? That’s such an utter fail! Forget the safe word. You can tell me. Did this man glue himself to you?”

Summer is chuckling lightly. She walks over to Ben while she tells me, “I didn’t say anything to him, obviously. I thought you might enjoy his unfiltered reaction.” Then she looks at her husband. “Babe. It’s okay. They’re dating.”

“What? No.” He looks around at everyone gathered here. “Psych! Okay! Ha! Ha! Guys. But my birthday isn't until next month. So, yeah. You can stop the charade.” Then he looks at Stevens. “That was convincing, bro. I almost believed you. But no. You just met her at our barbecue and you lost your marbles when you saw her. There’s no way you’re dating. Joke’s on me. Funny!”

He starts laughing. No one else laughs. I don’t drop Stevens’ hand .

“Guys.” Ben looks around.

Everyone else is smiling. Summer must have told them.

“It’s true,” I say. “We’re dating.”

“But … how? You do know this guy is a biologist, right? I mean. You’re Alana Graves. He’s a guy who teaches elementary school field trips about the sea hare—which is a nasty little underwater snail that lets out a stink you won’t soon forget. Has he shown you a sea hare yet? I’m guessing … not. Because the day he shows you a sea hare? …” Ben points to our enjoined hands and then waves his pointer finger between us. “This? This will all be history.”

Ben gets this serious expression and looks at Stevens. “I don’t know what kind of sorcery you’re pulling, man, but please, for the love of Poseidon, don’t show her that creepy burgundy snail.”

Stevens chuckles. “Good advice as always, Ben. I won’t.”

“Nawww.” Ben shakes his head. “You’re still acting like this is real.”

Summer places a hand on Ben’s shoulder and turns his head toward her. “Maybe I should have given you some warning. This is real. Alana and Stevens are dating. They’ve been playing word games together for a while. They just discovered one another in real life this month. And they are officially dating.”

“Waaaaiiitt!” Ben shouts. He points at me. “You? You’re that girl on the game?”

I nod.

“I’m dead. How did we not hear about this sooner?”

Then Ben looks at Stevens. “The day after the date, you’re all, We laughed. She came to my house. I drove her home … as if she’s any other woman. No offense, Alana. I mean that with respect. But, DUDE . You went out with Alana. Freaking. Graves. And you come strolling out to a surf sesh all chill and nonchalant the next morning? I would have been running down the sand waving my hands and doing a double back handspring while I shouted her name.”

“Might be why you never dated her,” Kai says with a smirk .

“I didn’t ever want to date her,” Ben says. “I had my eye on Summer. She’s the only woman for me.”

“And do I inspire you to do gymnastics on the beach?” Summer asks Ben, obviously as an attempt at diversion more than anything.

“Every day, babe. You know that, Monroe. I’d do gymnastics all day for you.”

Stevens squeezes my hand. Then he walks me closer to the group where Mila’s sitting on a large piece of driftwood, watching the Ben show in comfortable silence. Riley and Cam are in chairs they brought down. Kalaine and Bodhi are on a beach blanket on the other side of the firepit.

“Hey, everyone,” Stevens says. “You know Alana, obviously.”

Everyone greets us. Not one of them acts like anything’s out of the ordinary.

Ben keeps looking at us, shaking his head.

He finally gathers his wits and walks over to us again.

“Sorry, you two. I haven’t been this surprised since I found out Riley’s dad gifted her a refurbished VW bus for our trip out here from Ohio. It took me a minute to get over my shock. But …” He shakes his head again as if he needs to dislodge his disbelief. “Okay. Yeah. So you two are dating. Got it. Welp, congratulations. I’m really happy for you. And Alana, for real, besides being a reclusive brainiac who loves slimy underwater creatures, this guy is solid. He’s a good man. I’m sure he’ll be good to you.”

Stevens smiles at Ben. “I will.”

“He is,” I tell Ben, and then I smile up at Stevens.

“Would you look at that?” Ben says. “You two really do like each other. Man. Okay. Well. I assume this isn’t public knowledge yet.”

“It’s not,” I tell Ben.

“Well, you have my word.” He runs his pinched fingers in front of his mouth. “My lips are sealed. I’m the vault. Just ask Kai. Right, Kai?” He makes the zip motion again .

“Not that again!” Kai shouts from where he’s sitting next to Mila, skewering a marshmallow.

“What?”

“That zipped lip thing.”

“Hey. I kept your secret about Mila,” Ben protests. “I’m a good secret keeper. You see all this?” Ben waves his hand up and down his torso. “This is a vault. And this …?” He points to his mouth. “This is the door. And this …?” He pinches fingers together. “Is the key. Now, watch closely.” He twists the “key,” turns it, and tosses it. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you keep a secret.”

We all laugh. It feels so normal hanging out with this group—being here with Stevens at my side—like a gift.

One I know has an expiration date.