Chapter Forty One

Lillian

I jump as I wake. The first image in my mind is Emmeline’s face as she looked at me, along with the words she uttered. I’m not sure what she did to throw me like that, but it’s almost as if she threw my very soul back into my body.

Was I really there?

As I close my eyes, I know the answer to my own question. That experience was very much real, and I finally found him.

I found Lucian.

Corbin saunters out of the spare room with a book in his hand as he casually flips through the pages. His loose gray lounge pants are slung low on his waist and he hasn’t even bothered with a shirt. All his muscles are out on display, causing the breath in my lungs to leave rather forcefully.

He notices and looks up from the book.

His eyes glow as his wolf edges closer to the surface. Mine is doing the same, though I want to resist. The pull is becoming too strong.

She needs a mate to help rule the pack and I know if I don’t get to the realm where Lucian is soon, I’m going to lose the battle. How much longer can I hold out?

Weeks? Months?

No, at this rate, I might have days if I’m lucky. I have a feeling it will be more like hours.

My teeth elongate as our gazes meet again. I see his are already out. Suddenly, he slams the book in his hand shut.

With a smirk on his face, he strides across the room and lays the book down on the dining room table before coming to stand at the back of the couch.

“Do you like what you see, little alpha?” He asks as he leans onto the couch. “I’m starting to think you don’t want to find your lover boy, after all.”

“I-” words fail me. I don’t know what to say to him.

Typically, I’d say he annoys me, more so than anyone else ever has, but the way his voice sounds in this moment is scratching an itch I didn’t know I had.

“Does a cat have your tongue or are you debating something else?” He asks with a laugh. “You might as well give into your urges and claim me already. It won’t be as painful.”

"I won't give up on Lucian.”

His brow furrows as he studies me. "Oh, so now you know his name. Well, how are you going to help him? Do you know what realm he is in?”

“It’s tied to the curse. That is all I know. When I saw him, he was standing in front of a house that looked just like this.”

Grandmother comes out of her room and glances in our direction. I barely see her over the back, but she is frowning. “For the love of wolves, put on a shirt. I don’t want to see your abs, though they are nice. It’s too early for all of this.”

Corbin leans away , flexing his stomach muscles, but his eyes never leave mine as he runs his hands across them. “Maybe my wolf wants Lillian to enjoy the view. She seems to be quite pleased with what she sees.”

I reach up, covering my eyes. “Just go put a shirt on. You know how I feel about you.”

“Yes, I do. I’m a delight and you love being in my presence. That is why you haven’t told the pack that I’m alive and here.”

I sit up on the couch and turn so my back is facing him. “More like delightfully annoying. Now go put a shirt on.”

“One day, little alpha, you’re going to beg for me and I’ll be waiting,” he says seductively.

Grandmother hits the cabinet with something, causing a loud bang to fill the air. “That is enough, Corbin. Fulfill your end of the bargain and then she will do her duty. Until then, stop flirting and trying to get her to claim you sooner.”

I look over my shoulder, only to see Corbin turn. My eyes rake over his back, noticing how sculpted this side of him is, too.Then I notice a wolf tattoo on his left shoulder blade. I'm not sure when he had it done, but it looks healed. It's bigger than my hand and covers about ten inches of flesh. Something about it makes me feel weird.

This is just lust because of the mating heat. I have to hold out.

Corbin reaches up to cover his mouth to stifle his laughter. “Have I offended you, Grandmother? Oh, my. How terrible of a house guest I am.”

A low growl escapes her as she turns around with a wooden spoon in her hand. "I swear if you don't get out of my sight and become useful, I'm calling it off. No granddaughter of mine is marrying into your crazy messed up family."

I slowly stand and walk around the edge of the couch to go into the kitchen. Grandmother heaves in a deep breath just as I reach her, trying to keep calm so she doesn’t shift.

“It’s going to be okay. He is annoying, but he’s always like this. I think he’s just cocky because he doesn’t know how else to be. Be the bigger person and overlook him.”

“I don’t want to,” she mumbles between breaths. “This grandma has big teeth and wants to bite some sense into him. Get out of my sight, Corbin, before I change my mind.”

He throws up his hands in a sign of defeat as he quickly retreats into the spare room and shuts the door behind himself. I sigh as I hear him shuffling around to find a shirt.

Grandmother unleashes another low snarl.

“Is something else going on, or did you wake up irritable this morning?”

"How can you even consider being his mate? I know you want the beast, but who knows if Corbin can even do what he says? He even said it himself. His magic isn't the greatest and here you are being dragged around. You have a pack to lead. Maybe you should go to the other packs and find a mate there. Just leave all of this behind.”

I smile faintly because I wish it was that easy, but I can’t just stop wanting Lucian. My heart knows he’s my fated mate and no one will ever fill his place. I just don’t have much of a choice right now. To find him requires working with Corbin, though I hate it.

"Thank you for your concern, but I know what I'm doing."

She eyes me warily as she breaks the wooden spoon in her hand. "Do you think so? I don’t buy it. Let’s just search the other packs and find someone else. Get yourself out of this deal with Corbin before it’s too late.”

Shaking my head, I slink toward the couch, my shoulders sagging. Sighing, I collapse onto the couch and lie there looking at the ceiling.

After all these years of being suppressed and fighting my true nature, here I am finally free, but I'm trapped in a prison that I can't escape. One wrong move and it all falls apart.

"Oh, Grandmother. A fated mate bond is something we all desire and will do almost anything for. Now that I know who the beast is and confirm he is Lucian, nothing else is going to satisfy me.”

She scoffs from the kitchen. “Well, Lucian is in for a surprise when he gets back because you’ll have to fulfill your deal with Corbin.”

“I know, but I have to hope this all works out for the best. Honestly, I’m just tired of the curses and everything that has happened. Part of me wishes I could just give in and settle, but I’ve already come so far.”

Corbin slowly cracks the door, then steps out. I look around, only to lock eyes with him. “Are we having breakfast soon?”

Grandmother sighs as she looks at the broken spoon and lays it on the counter. Corbin’s brows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything.

“One wrong word and you will be going outside like the dog you are. Do you understand?”

He nods. “I just want breakfast.”

I look at the rick of wood near the kitchen and realize we are getting low. “I’ll go get you some more wood for breakfast.”

“Thank you, dear.”

I stand up from the couch again and head to the door, only to have him follow me. There’s no need to turn around as I step outside. His presence is not something anyone would miss looming behind them.

"I'm coming with you."

"No, you're not. Go inside the house,” I whisper.

The door shuts behind him, and he looks at me as I whirl around to face him.

“Why are you not going inside?”

“Because you and I need to talk about this,” he says as he motions between us with one finger. “There’s tension and I’m not talking about a tension created because we’re mad at each other.”

“Corbin, until I have to fulfill my part of the agreement with you, consider the tension as being caused by anger. Okay? My wolf is riding me hard because she knows I need a mate for the pack and she’s not happy it is you. Until we exchange marks, I will not crave you or want you.”

I turn and quickly walk toward the shed without looking back. Once I find the ax, I pick it up and then I feel him behind me again. When I turn around, he has his hands up with his eyes locked onto the ax.

"Don't swing that at me. I just want to talk."

"Depending on what you say determines if I'll swing this ax at you. I don't know that you'd recover from a severed head." I smile, my canines lengthening at the thoughts of carrying out my plans. Oh, how I would love it and it's no one's fault but his.

"Look, I know how we were in the past, but I think we'd be great together. Do you really want to bring the beast home? Think about it for a moment. Right now, he is off in some other world and probably happy.”

“He’s with his family, but they all deserve to be here. Why wouldn’t we bring him back?”

“And do what? Though I don’t know everything about the curse, I know they are from two hundred years ago, right? Their family would be dead by now, so it’s just them. Do you really want to bring him back with them? What is going to happen then? They’re going to be angry if he comes home, just to stay in the woods because that is what you are dooming him to. He will have to watch you lose feelings for him. Not only that, he is going to watch you grow old with me and have children while his family ages as well. Your life will go on while he rots in the woods. Then when you pass, he will mourn you. At least if he is in that other realm, then he gets to live with his family until who knows when. They don’t have to suffer.”

"He deserves to be home just as much as we do. So does his family. No one deserves to be sent to a realm like that.”

I turn with the ax in my grasp and head for the trees near the shed with Corbin hot on my heels. “He’s just going to haunt the woods, Lillian. He won’t even be a man. Don’t you think you’re doing him a small kindness by leaving him somewhere else where he doesn’t have to watch you be with someone else? Think about his family. He has to watch them die too and then he’ll truly be alone in the woods. Why would you want to doom him to that life?”

I pause in my steps near a tree and drop the ax to the ground. Everything Corbin says is true. If he doesn’t mark me like I hope, then Corbin gets me and I doom Lucian to a life in the woods without anyone here. He will watch everyone grow old and die and never know true happiness.

At least if I leave him in the other realm, then he gets to stay with his family, where he is loved and roaming freely in a world that looks like this one.

It’s going to hurt him either way.

"I don't know how to respond to that."

"You know what I'm saying is true. Why can't you just mate with me and be done with it? We could start our lives now and rule this pack as it should be. I'll even let you take the lead on new policies and things my father wouldn't budge on. Would it be so bad to be with me? I don’t have to be the villain in your story."

I turn, only to catch him coming closer, so I take one step and brush against the tree. “How do you expect me to believe you? After all you have done, you think a few sweet words will make me fall for you? I tried, Corbin. Right before the full moon, I convinced myself that I could dim myself down for you, but that isn’t the case. This is me. I’m an alpha and I will not submit.”

Corbin has never been one to give in. So when he falls to his knees before me, his hands outstretched, I feel like I might lose it.

“Maybe I am a tortured soul who has a horrible family history and grew up without being shown how to love. You’re not the only one who was abused while my father was alpha, Lillian.”

Slowly, he strips off his shirt and throws it to the ground. For the first time, I look past the muscle and the way he looks and see the tiny scars all over his chest.

“Take a good look, Lillian. Truly look at me. Do you see all these scars? Do you see how many there are? It’s more than you or I can count. Some are repeats from multiple strikes in the same spot. So, tell me, little alpha, are you the only one who faced his wrath?”

“No,” I whisper.

I’m in complete disbelief. Though I’ve seen him shirtless on a handful of occasions, I have never seen him quite like this.

He stands and turns, showing me his back. “Look across my left shoulder blade around the wolf tattoo.”

“These weren’t there earlier.”

“Yes, they were and have been. You just never took the time to notice them,” he says as he turns around to face me. “All I’m asking for is redemption.”

“Redemption, even now, seems too good for you. You are so much like your father. How can I forgive you and give you redemption when you have treated me so horribly?”

He closes the gap between us, his arms encircling my waist and pulling me until I’m flush against his chest. “I’m begging you to take me as your mate and I will give you everything you’ll ever want. Can’t you at least think about it?”

I’m appalled by the way he holds me. It actually feels warm and somewhat pleasant, but it disgusts me to even enjoy it. This man, who once told me I would serve him on my hands and knees, is now begging me for his redemption.

Does his desperation to have me know no bounds? What is he thinking or is he?”

“Begging me won’t work.”

"If I have to, I will. I'll do anything to be with you."

I laugh. “You already did when you made me a deal to get the beast. You were selfish, even then.”

“Please, Lillian.”

Something else takes over and I have to ask him something. "So if I asked you to serve me on your hands and knees as you once asked me, you'd do it without question."

He only says one word. "Yes."

An odd sensation floods through me, and I realize instantly that my wolf is pleased with his submission. She rushes to the surface, my eyes shifting and my canines lengthen.

Let me out.

“No,” I whisper. This can’t be happening. If I let her out, then I’m losing everything here and now.”

Just a little bite and it's all over with. Once we are mated, we'll only feel something for him. It’s going to be okay. We can do this and will, for the good of the pack.

"Do you even know what you're asking for?" That question is meant for my wolf, but I accidentally say it out loud.

I glance up at Corbin, who is still looking up at me while he cradles me to his chest. "Yes, I know what I'm asking for and I want every moment. Anything that involves having you by my side is what I want."

"Even if I hate you for it?" Tears line my eyes as my wolf pushes to be set free.

I’m holding her back by a string and I fear what is about to happen.

"You can hate me, but the bond will make you not care. Once it's done, you're mine. Forever." He squeezes me tighter, my face pushing against his chest. “It won’t be bad. That much I can promise you. We will be unstoppable.”

His scent fills my nostrils, and for once, it doesn’t make me gag. All I can smell is lavender and rosemary.

For a moment, I stand there, frozen in his arms, while my wolf fights for dominance. She wants out. One slip and all of this will end with me becoming his mate.

If I just cave, I can finally feel something other than being torn. It will be nice just to give in and the mere thought of it consumes me.

"Get your paws off my granddaughter, you mongrel!"

I jump as I hear Grandmother’s words fill the air and peel myself away from him.

“Let me go, Corbin. I need to chop wood and you can go collect some, too.”

He finally lets me go and I slip between the trees. Every step is painful as my wolf fights for control. Even putting distance between us is failing. I can smell him.

“Please no,” I beg my wolf.

Sadly, it’s too late. I stop and turn to look over my shoulder, but I know what will greet me. Our gazes meet in a moment of lust and agony.

And then my wolf breaks free.

I'm free. We must take a mate.

My shift happens so fast that I barely feel it. When I land on all fours as my bones break, I let out a short scream, and it's replaced by a howl.

Why him?

Oh, right. He is an alpha and is the only one who can handle me.

I look over to my right, only to see Corbin already in his wolf’s form. His dark gray fur pulls me right in until I meet his glowing orange gaze.

He comes toward me, sniffing the air.

In my head, I’m screaming for this to stop, but now that my wolf is finally free and accepting her fate, she has other things in mind. The first thing on her list is taking a mate, though I still can feel the disgust buried somewhere deep within.

The drive to take a mate is powerful and affects how you think, but I never thought that this would happen. I thought I had more time. Sadly, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

He takes another step closer, his paws crunching on the fallen leaves. I don’t run away yet. Instead, my wolf lowers her head.

I try to ask her what she thinks she is doing and to straighten her posture, but she’s acting submissive and doesn’t seem to want to stop.

I beg her to run or do anything other than stand here. Once again, she does nothing.

Even when I say that the beast is waiting for us, it’s like she can’t hear me. She’s trapped in a daze of lust and wants for it to all end.

He takes another step closer as he sees I'm not running away. She lowers her head.

I fuss at her as she does with me, but all I get is a low growl.

I've had to listen to you this entire time, so it's my turn, woman. You will not mate with him. The beast is ours. Remember what we are doing. You agreed to mate Corbin to get him back, but the plan is for the beast to intervene before it's too late.

She snarls again as she nudges me back.

Oh, really now? You don't like me pestering you? This is how it feels all those times you annoyed me and wouldn't shut up. Now you see how it feels to have thoughts invading your mind. Run the other direction before you do something stupid. I won't let you make this mistake. In the end, you and I are all each other has.

She sighs and takes a step away. It's like her clouded judgment is receding and I am getting through to her. Corbin finally reaches her and stops in front of her, slightly bowing his head, hoping she accepts him.

Oddly, she leans forward and licks him across the top of his head between his ears. He rears back in shock. I've never known of this happening to anyone and I'm not even sure what it means.

Grandmother opens the door again, which slams against the inside wall. This time, she doesn’t go inside the house. No, she stands outside with her jaw dropped. "What is going on? Oh, heck no. Corbin, get away from my granddaughter. Lillian, move away slowly!"

"I know the drive to mate is clouding both of your heads, but she can not mate with you until you fulfill the end of your deal. Now get away." She walks toward us and then gets between our wolves. "Corbin, go inside and start looking through the books about magic. There has to be something in there to help with opening a portal to the realm where the beast is. Lillian, you need to stay as far away from any male as possible. The need to take a mate will just get worse and you will regret it."

Corbin shifts to a man, snarling. "What do you mean by that? Why would she regret mating with me?”

"She will regret if she caves into her wolf before finding Lucian. Do you want that? For your mating to be spoiled because her wolf can't withstand the call? She's just trying to do what is right for the pack. Now move on."

He stomps toward the house, his mouth pulled down into a frown. I watch as he gathers his pants and shirt on the way.

Grandmother turns around and eyes me. "Would you like to tell me what on earth is going on?"

A soft breeze blows, carrying my scent with it toward the house. Corbin freezes on the step of the porch, inhaling deeply and turning around. His eyes are wild as the clothes in his hands drop to the wooden floor and I realize his wolf has taken over.

"Lillian, run."

That is all Grandmother can say. He shifts instantly, his wolf losing control.

"Run before he claims you!" She shouts again, but my body is frozen stiff.

My wolf has enough sense to turn after stepping out of the clothes and head into the woods, running at full speed. Corbin is hot on my heels as the drive to claim me is all he's thinking about. I can feel traces of him through the pack bond, but I don't dare dive into his head. Honestly, I don't want to know all the things that go on up there.

I jump across a fallen log, and he follows, never missing a beat. Darting between trees does nothing but irritate him.

Suddenly, his voice booms through the pack link as he breaks all the barriers I have in place. Stop running and let me claim you. You have always been mine and now it'll be official. You're just making this harder on yourself, Lillian, my kitten.

Disgust rolls through me at the word kitten. Why he nicknamed me that is beyond me and has always confused me. We can't do this, Corbin. You haven't fulfilled your end of the bargain and my wolf will never forgive you.

She huffs out a breath as I pick up speed, hoping to lose him, but he stays right on my heels and nips at my tail.

Come on, kitten. Let me claim you and this will all be over with. I can still open the portal and fulfill my deal after you've been properly claimed.

I laugh as I continue to run. He will never complete his end of the deal once he gets me, and we both know it.

He lunges, landing on my back, and we go crashing to the ground. My belly skids along the dirt and leaves before coming to a stop. He settles on top of me, pushing me into the ground and laying on my back. I'm completely pinned underneath him with nowhere to go.

Is that so hard? His breath is hot against my throat. Just like this, and you will be all mine in a matter of seconds. One bite and it begins.

His teeth graze my neck and shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. He feels me trembling and huffs out another breath. Excited, aren't you? Is that you giving in?

Am I giving in? Isn't my wolf going to fight? So far, she's allowed him to do all this without putting up a fight and it makes me wonder what will happen next.

He drops the rest of his weight on top of me as he pushes his nose against my neck and licks me. I take it you are okay with this, since you haven't said a word. I promise I'll be good to you and things will be different. The man you knew before will never surface again. I acted like that because of my father and it was how he expected me to be. You'll see.

My wolf doesn't move and my eyes slide close as he drags his teeth across my throat.

I hear a sickening crack and he slides off of me, falling off to the side on the ground.

"Lillian, I swear to goodness, I won't always be here to save your backside. You all are almost too fast for this old lady."

I shift into my human form, rolling on to my back and glancing over at Corbin, who is laid out on the ground, unconscious. "Oh, my gosh. You arrived right in time."

Sighing, relief flows through me and I become calmer. Grandmother smiles as she squats down and checks his vitals.

"He'll be out for a while. We should go home. As I said, I won't always be here to save your backside. You need to be more careful." She eyes me, shooting me a look. “This could have ended badly and you know it.”

"Grandmother, I don't control the wind." I huff out a breath as I sit up and glance over at Corbin. “One sniff was all it took to push us over.”

"The wind isn't the problem. It is the scent it carries with it. You are in control of that." Her brows raise as she scolds me. “Control your scent. You probably smelled like lust and want.”

My cheeks heat with embarrassment. "That was all my wolf. I was in there trying to calm her down, but she refused to listen to me. So, I don’t quite control my scent, either."

Sure, blame me. You had no part in it, right? You forget we are one and the same. Deep down, somewhere, you are okay with him claiming you. If beasty wasn't available, you'd settle for him.

No, that can't be the truth. I refuse to believe that.

Believe what you will. We both know it.

Closing my eyes, I collapse to the ground with a huff. It’s a thought I’m scared to admit, but I guess what she says is true. If the beast didn’t exist, I’d settle for what was available just to feel something other than all the abuse I endured.

Even if it meant being with the one who abused me, but says he’d change.

How stupid am I?

Corbin’s words are sweet, but I have no guarantee of him being different.

Grandmother shakes her head. "Arguing with your wolf?"

"Yes, because she says if it wasn't for Lucian, I would take Corbin as my mate without a doubt. I don't know whether or not to believe her." I throw my arm over my eyes and lie there for a moment, trying to ground myself. "She has to be losing it."

The only problem is I know I’m lying to myself and Grandmother.

Grandmother clears her throat, making me peek out from under my arm. "Child, if Lucian was not around, then Corbin would be the next available male who was dominant enough. As much as I hate to admit it, she is right. He is what's here and available. That does not mean he's right for you, though. You'd be settling and I seriously doubt you would have ever been fated to this moron to begin with. This is why I told you the choice is yours all this time. Yes, the curse affected what I could say, but it also was your choice. Are you going to save the pack by mating with Corbin and sticking to what is familiar, or are you going to choose your destiny and the unknown?"

“I get it now, but I sure didn’t at first. This has always been my choice. I can either succumb to the past and live in what is comfortable, or step out and take my destiny by force. This mating fever, though, is not easy to fight. I’m not sure how I’m even going to get myself out of this. Lucian will be devastated if he gets to leave and return to the woods without breaking his curse.”

She's quiet for a moment and I sit up, looking at her sternly. The look she's giving me means she knows something and probably won't tell, but I ask anyway.

"What is it? Is there a way out of it if Corbin were to bite me?"

She shakes her head. "It hasn't been done in a long time, but if he were to die, that would solve everything, especially since Lucian is your fated mate."

I glance over at Corbin and sigh. "I won't call for his death yet, but I guess we should head inside and do more research on how to get to this other realm.”

“Sadly, he is needed to open said realm, but you won’t find what you need in those books. He has to know magic.”

I stand, reaching down to grab Corbin by his tail. He's heavier than he looks and I'm afraid I might injure him by doing this. Suddenly, he wakes and opens his eyes slowly.

He shifts to his human form and growls as he glances up at me. "I'll see myself home, Lillian."

Corbin gets up and passes me as we walk to the house, uncaring of his naked form. The look on his face is one of anger and disappointment, but he never looks over his shoulder and keeps his eyes on the ground.

We're playing with fire, and this will not go well.

"He'll be fine.”Grandmother looks up and sighs. "Let’s head home. It’s not that far away.”

We walk for several minutes before her cottage comes into view. Corbin is already at the door, going through after picking up his clothes on the small porch.

“Are you sure he is going to do as I ask?”

"He'll be fine and do it. You forget who we're talking about. This is Corbin and he is a selfish one.”

We reach the house and enter. Corbin comes out of the back bedroom with his gray pants on and a book in his hand. "Fine, we're opening this portal and saving him. The sooner the better. I think this is the book I've been looking for and we should be able to do it as soon as everything is prepared. I can’t resist your mating fever for much longer.”

I look at the book in his hand, but don’t remember seeing it.

“Wait? What book is that?”

He looks up at me, over the top of the book. “One that your grandmother didn’t have.”

“But when did you get that?”

He drops the book down until I can see him smile. “I haven’t been staying here all the time. You two sleep so soundly that you never heard me leave through the window. Anyway, let’s get that portal open.”

My jaw drops open in shock. He's actually putting effort into this and not goofing around as he reads through the passages. "Are you serious?"

He glances at me over the top of the book again. "Yes. Do I not look serious to you? Look, the sooner we do this, the sooner I can claim you and make you mine. My wolf is screaming in my head and I'm about to lose myself. I almost did it just minutes ago. The next time I shift, I won't be able to hold back. So, unless you want me here and now in the middle of your grandmother’s living room, you better help me get this ready. I won't be able to hold out much longer."

His admission is so raw and open. It makes my stomach flop in nervousness. This is finally happening. We're going to rescue Lucian and everything will be set in motion.

"What do you need?" Grandmother asks, eyeing me as she takes a step forward. "Lillian, go get dressed."

I look down and remember that I left my clothes behind. “Shoot.”

I glance over at her, then walk to her room and find my spare clothes. As I pull a dark mahogany skirt on, I can hear them talking in the other room. Corbin is going over the ways to open the portal and how much magic it might take.

He's still not sure how this is going to work or if he can pull it off, but he thinks his magic might work as long as he gets into the right realm the first time.

Is this really happening or am I dreaming? I rub my hands against my eyes, hoping this isn't a dream. I've waited for what feels like forever for this moment and I just want to save Lucian.

He deserves this much after all the torment he has faced.

My eyes drop to the floor as Grandmother continues to talk to him. They're whispering so low I can't hear them as clearly. I throw the blouse over my head and pull it down.

As I walk into the living room, they stop talking and look up at me.

By the looks on their faces, I already know.

They’re wondering what I am.

Will Lucian be happy to just live in the woods and accept the deal I made to bring him and his family home?