Chapter Thirty

Lillian

Two days pass rather quickly after our awkward dinner. Corbin, for once, has been the perfect gentleman and as long as I fake obedience, he does nothing. He seems happy and is doing just as his mother said he would.

If he had acted like this for his entire life, I probably wouldn’t have protested mating him so much, only if he were the last option out there.

But faking obedience can only last so long and eventually, we’ll bump heads again.

You're killing me.

I let out a deep sigh. My wolf isn’t happy about this matter, either, and reminds me often of how unhappy she is with the situation. Otherwise, she stays buried and keeps to herself, robbing me of feeling like myself.

This is not where you belong, and you know it. You are supposed to mate with the beast in the woods. There is no way you can’t know and here you are, allowing that monster of a man to feed you and call you kitten. How can you just sit here and do nothing? It goes against the very being of who you are. Don’t you know that destiny is never wrong?

I try to close my eyes and drown her out, but today she is more insistent than normal. The internal struggle I feel is almost more than I can bear. Every time she surfaces this strongly, it brings up emotions I would rather not feel at all. There is nothing I can do to change my course, and she has to accept it.

Accept it? I just have to accept it? Really? That is your solution to this. We have gone through all these years of torture because of Corbin and his family, so you just dismiss it because he’s being nice to you right now. What happens when that side you hate comes back and he throws you in the dungeon again? What if he forces himself on you on your mating night when you really don’t want it? I have stayed silent, but I can’t let you do this to us.

My lips press into a thin line. “What are you going to do about it, wolf? Once he marks me as his, you will fall into line and we won’t be in disagreement anymore, because I will no longer be able to kill him.”

She grows quiet and I feel her slip away into the depths of my mind. I rub a hand over my face as tears roll down my cheeks. This is the first time my wolf and I have ever disagreed on anything, but what does she expect me to do?

My alpha abilities only come when they want to, and the rest of the time, I'm lower than an omega. It's not like I can attack him and win at this moment. If I attempt anything, then I get myself killed and leave my grandmother defenseless.

The very thought of my grandmother brings even more tears. She's all I've had and the thought of her leaving before her time makes the pain in my chest worse. I can’t allow something to happen to her when I have the power to stop it, even if it means mating that dipstick.

As I sit on the edge of the bed, the tears continue to flow, and I can't stop them. The door opens and startles me. I rush to wipe the tears from my face, but it's too late, and he has caught me.

Corbin steps in, a tray in his hands filled with what looks to be snacks. At first, he has a smile, but it falls quickly once he sees my tear-stained face. I tremble with fear of what he might do, but instead of anger, he looks concerned instead.

He quietly walks over to the bed and sets the tray down before kneeling in front of me. "What are the tears for?"

I'm dumbfounded. His voice is still firm, but he isn't doing it in a scolding manner. I finally find the words to say once I realize he's still waiting for me to answer. "I just miss my Grandmother."

He nods and takes my hand in his. "Tomorrow, you will see her. I will have her brought over first thing in the morning. Will that make you happy?"

Happy? He's actually asking about my happiness. I don't know what his mother did to get him to act like this, but I'm thankful for it. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him.

At first, he's stiff, but he slowly relaxes and puts his arms around me in return. "You're welcome. I didn't know you would act like this if I was just a little nicer."

My wolf chooses that moment to pop in. I hate you for doing this.

Trust me, wolf. I hate myself for doing this too.

Instead of her receding, I shove her back. He isn't what I dreamed of, and this life has never been what I wanted, but for my grandfather’s pack, I will survive this. This is the best situation that can come out of this.

At least if he continues to be nice, the arrangement will be tolerable. I might even grow to like him in time, maybe even love him. I feel my wolf's disgust rising, but shove that down as well.

"You've made me very happy. I look forward to seeing her tomorrow."

A low growl rumbles in his chest as I continue to hug him. I can't believe he's actually bringing her here and not pitching a fit over it.

Corbin leans forward and kisses me. It’s a brief kiss and not what I expect at all, especially from him. "Goodnight, Kitten."

"Goodnight, Corbin."

He leaves the room, once again without a fuss or trying to claim me. I rub my hand across my face to finish drying the tears and look toward the adjoining bathroom. A nice bath will help me relax, but of course, he left me all these snacks.

After a moment of debating, I decide to leave the snacks behind for a bit since they are wrapped and take a bath.

As I slowly rise from the bed, my eyes dart around, checking to see if the bedroom door opens or anything. Surely, he won’t just leave me like this on the night before. He had been so determined, but maybe he really has changed. Once I’m standing, the door still hasn’t opened and I breathe a sigh of relief.

I make my way over to the bathroom door and open it, but only a crack. Peering inside, I look around, but I’m not sure what I’m looking for. It’s the same as it has been when I arrived with no changes. Part of me, deep down, is hoping there’s some kind of trapdoor that reveals itself and I can escape.

Sadly, there is no such thing here. It's just a simple bathroom where nothing magical happens that leads to my freedom. Even the window is too small for me to go through. Not that I could make it out without him hearing me. He'd probably find me halfway out of it and pull me back in. Then it would lead to other things happening that I don’t want.

I kind of enjoy what arrangement we have now and don’t want to risk his wrath. Freedom isn't something I will ever experience anyway, and I might as well not get my hopes up now.

Sighing, I strip the pajamas off and look in the mirror for a moment. As I look myself over, I can't believe this is what has become of me. Turning quickly away from the mirror, I start the water in the tub and sit on the side to wait for it to fill.

I turn the water up as hot as I can stand and wait another moment for it to be the perfect soaking temperature. Cutting the water off, I ease myself into it and let out a groan. My muscles are tense, and I didn't realize how tight they had become until now.

As I sink further into the tub, I barely hear the knock at the door. "Lillian?"

I recognized Alana immediately. "I'm in the tub."

She comes to the door and cracks it open, but doesn't come any further. "I thought I would come and check on you. Corbin mentioned you were crying."

"I just miss my Grandmother and was grieving a little for my parents, since they won't get to see my big day." It's not a full lie because I am sad they won't ever see it and I miss my grandmother, but it's not the only reason I have been crying.

"Your parents would be so proud of you for being the new Luna and leading the pack. Corbin needs someone like you to help lead this pack. His father tried to train him right, but I didn't always agree with his methods. It’s only right, though. The new and old line should meld together and make something new."

I bite at my bottom lip, unsure of how to respond to such an admission. It's not like it was well known that she didn't agree with him.

“I will take your silence as you are surprised by my admission. There are things I never agreed with him on, but out of respect, I did not argue with him in front of the pack. I kept it behind closed doors, as you should with Corbin. If he sees that you won’t correct him in public, he won’t be as aggressive behind doors, and you will keep him like he is now. All he wants is your obedience.

Nodding, I slowly turn to face the door. "I understand. Thank you for your advice. I will do my best to lead this pack beside Corbin."

"I know you will."

With a soft click, the door shuts and I'm left to my bath in peace. As I turn around to soak, something strikes me as odd. Why is it that she is suddenly helpful and giving me advice on how to handle him?

What changed over the course of the last few weeks?

My mind begins to wander, and I run my fingers through my long hair in annoyance. Something doesn't add up, but who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth? She was telling me everything I needed to know to keep him happy and keep me out of the firing line.

With a huff, I dismiss my thoughts as rubbish and go back to my soaking. She's just being nice, and there is nothing else going on.

Slowly, I finish washing and ease out of the tub. After a few minutes of drying myself, I open the door, only to find a pair of pajamas I’ve never seen before on the bed. They are cute and silky, something that I have never owned in my life.

I quickly slip them and throw the towel near the bathroom door before crashing on the bed. My eyes are so heavy that I fall asleep instantly.

Upon waking hours later, I notice how relaxed I feel. The bath must have helped, but nausea sets in as my nerves take a mind of their own. My eyes roam the room until they land on the window and notice daylight.

Tonight is the full moon, and all I can do is dread it with a smile on my face.

I rise from the bed, quickly making my way out the bedroom door and dash downstairs. Corbin spots me immediately with a curious gaze. “As promised, your grandmother is on her way here now for breakfast. You will have the entire day together.”

“Really?”

Why would he afford me such a thing? It’s out of his character, but then again, the last few days have been for him as well. Even his mother is acting differently. I keep expecting the other shoe to fall, but nothing has come yet and I’m so thankful.

"Yes, and there she is now." He nods toward the door with a smile curling up on his lips.

A soft knock at the front door makes me jump with joy as I rush toward the door. As it swings open, my grandmother stands on the other side with a smile on her face, though her eyes never lie. She isn't sure what is going on, but came anyway. "Hello, child. I'm so glad to see you."

I throw my arms around her and enclose her in a warm hug. "I'm so happy you're here."

She chuckles low and wraps her arms tightly around me. "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

As she comes inside, Corbin looks around and then dismisses himself. I notice Alana is nowhere to be found, but the smell of food is prominent in the house. "I guess we are having breakfast alone."

Leading her to the dining room, I can tell she has something on her mind. Once we are seated, she listens for them and then sighs with relief. "Now, will you tell me what the heck you are doing?"

"I'm not sure what you mean." I feel confused, though my wolf knows exactly what she means. Are you dense? She means this weird behavior of yours and just accepting what is happening . "Oh. That."

"I'm guessing your wolf filled you in." She looks at the food and snarls her nose in disgust. "How can you sit here like this and just forget all they've done to you?"

"I'm putting my past behind me and moving forward for the pack. It is my duty as Luna." I take the fork beside my plate and dig into the bacon and eggs.

"Luna. Lillian, you are an alpha and no good man would push you into this level of submission. He would let your abilities shine even if they were stronger than his because he would be proud to have a mate like you. Corbin must have masculinity issues to have you hide behind him like this as a mere Luna."

My fork drops to the table, food splattering everywhere. "Grandmother, how could you say such a thing?"

"I only speak the truth, and you know it." There is venom in her voice as she speaks. I know she is disappointed, but this is what is best.

"You were grandfather's Luna, so don't preach to me about not being able to shine when you cowered behind your mate." As the words leave my mouth, I instantly regret them. Her face may not say hurt, but her eyes tell all.

"You weren't even alive when he was alpha. How would you know how our dynamics worked? He was proud of me, and we ruled together, just as it should be done. A female is not a weakness, but a gift to balance their more feral sides. You would do well to learn that."

My jaw drops open as I process her words, but words escape me. I sit there dumbfounded as she waits for me to say something. "Well, aren't you going to speak, child?"

"Grandmother, what am I supposed to say? That we agree to disagree? I'm trying to save the pack and you insult me. I just want to put things the way they were and save what is left of my grandfather’s legacy. Your legacy.”

Grandmother breaks out into laughter. "Insult? Lillian, look around you. Suddenly, they're being nice to you, and everything is peachy. Do you not smell the trickery afoot? At this point, who cares about our legacy? Save yourself and choose your destiny."

As our gazes meet, I know she's trying to help, but all I see is I can't be who she wants me to be. "I'm sorry, Grandmother, but this is my choice. The decision has been made, and I will step up into my role as Luna for the pack."

She scoffs. "What about the beast and your destiny? What about them?"

The beast. I miss him so much and I know the truth of what we are, but how can I go blindly into it without knowing everything? They both told me it was my decision and once I made it, it's like they scream at me at every turn that I'm wrong.

"It's done, Grandmother. The ceremony is tonight."

The rest of breakfast is quiet as Grandmother refuses to eat and stares at me like it'll change my mind. Sighing, I finish my food quickly and lay the fork down. "I've got to get ready. If you'll excuse me, I must prepare."

I slide the chair back and leave the table. Grandmother never says a word as she also gets up and heads through the house toward the front door.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

"Put a sock in it, wolf." I shove her back down to where she belongs and pick up the dishes from the table. After placing them in the kitchen, I wander around the house in search of Corbin or Alana. We still have some time before the ceremony festivities begin, and they may need some help with preparations.

Alana steps out of the office and looks perplexed. "Is breakfast over already? Where is your grandmother? I figured you two would spend the day together."

"She left for home. So, I'm free for the day and wondered if you need help with anything."

Alana smiles and thinks for a moment. "Everything is being prepared by the pack. They are excited about the ceremony tonight. Corbin is off hunting a deer for the feast."

That's right. I forgot that the males normally go hunting on the morning of their ceremonies. I look around, feeling lost. "Well, I guess I can go take a nap in my room."

"Yes, that sounds like a wonderful idea. You won't be getting any sleep tonight." She chuckles and clutches something leather tightly against her chest. I hadn't even noticed it until now.

"What do you have? It looks like an old book."

She smiles and laughs, dismissing it. "Oh, it's nothing, my dear. It's just the book we use for all ceremonies. If you'll excuse me, I have to go talk with Samson since he will deliver the mating vows."

I watch as she brushes past me without another word. Shaking my head, I realize my grandmother has made me paranoid. "It's just a book for the vows. Been used hundreds of times through the years and probably didn't want to get a new one. That's all that is."

Keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day you will truly believe it. Has Grandmother ever mentioned your Grandfather keeping a book of vows?

With a huff, I shove my wolf back down again. She truly is annoying and should learn to just go with it. Of course, after tonight she will get on board with all of this. She rises to the surface again.

This isn't you. Why would you shove me away like this and punish me for speaking the truth? We are one, Lillian, and you know where we belong. Please snap out of this madness.

Shaking my head, I walk down the hall and clear my thoughts. Now is not the time for this. I can't have doubts going into this ceremony. Tonight, I will take my place and save this pack.

I head for the stairs and to my room, collapsing on the bed. It doesn’t take me long to fall fast asleep again.

Sometime later, Alana touches my arm and wakes me.

“It’s time. You need to get dressed for tonight.”

Slowly, I come to my senses and rise from the bed. "Oh, that was quick."

I eye the dress, still hanging in the garment bag on the door. A smile spreads across my face as I think about wearing it tonight. Next to it is my red cloak, looking as if it has been recently cleaned.

"I made sure your cloak was retrieved today. It might be a little chilly tonight, but you should be fine."