Chapter 18

CHAPTER

EIGHTEEN

SANTOS

Natie: Will you go out with me this weekend? On another romantic date?

Natie: I'm sorry if you ever thought I needed to be pressured just to ask you out.

Natie: I'm doing it right now because I like you.

Me: I'm busy with wedding festivities all weekend.

Me: So we can revisit this another time, please.

Natie: I understand.

Me: This isn't a no, I just need all my mental fortitude for Santana's matrimony.

Me: So let's take this day by day.

Natie: Alright

T his whole week has been a distinct agony of my own volition. Abstaining from texting Natie has been anguish. I have him, the man I've always desired, begging to go out with me. And I'm telling him to wait— what is wrong with me ? Who cares that he was peer-pressured into asking me out?

Well, I care. He and I had our wires crossed for years. He tormented me in high school, saw me as a bully, but we've since patched things up. And now that we're friends, he still can't see me as more than that without outside forces. Nothing feels like the appropriate progression of a relationship, which hurts, because I could see myself getting serious with him. He's what I want, so why can't I look past this and accept the real Natie Shiba?

I don't know, but there's no time to dwell on it. I adjust my black bowtie in the mirror then take two steps and knock on the door. Keisha answers me, donning a maroon blouse and fashionable black pants.

"What's the password?"

"I n-n-need to speak to my little sister."

Keisha snickers and opens the door. When I walk in, I spot Gretchen in a teal dress. She steps to the side, and I all but break down. The sight of my sister in a white gown has me speechless. It feels like just yesterday we were two mixed-race kids against the world, and now she's going to walk down the aisle.

"Wow," I say breathlessly.

"You think Wayne will like it?" She smiles and looks just like the little girl I used to put bandages on after she fell while biking.

"You're the p-p-picture of pulchritude."

My sister rolls her eyes, and Keisha slaps my arm. "Somewhere in there is a compliment, I promise," she says.

Gretchen and Santana laugh and I step forward. "You look amazing. I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, bro." She embraces me, and I fight back tears. "I couldn't have done this without you."

"Abuela and Mom are watching us from above."

My sister sniffs. "I know."

When I let go, Keisha and Gretchen all but accost me to get out. "Alright, alright, let's not ruin her mascara," Gretchen says. "We have like, an hour to go."

"Just glad things are going well. Wayne is doing fine, too."

Santana smiles at me, and Keisha squeezes my arm. "Come on, boss. Let's give your sister some room to breathe."

We walk out and make our way to the back area of Shiba's Seaside near the beach. A few clouds dust the blue sky, rendering a flawless spring weather day. The poolside deck has been transformed with a makeshift wooden altar near the band. Maroon ribbon bows with white flower bouquets decorate each of the chairs. The band is warming up, and the restaurant inside has been cleared out. It's a picture-perfect wedding, and I'm crazy grateful to the Shiba's for organizing this event.

This, of course, leads me to recall the one man on my mind. When I lean on a rail, I happen to spot him on the lower level. Oh great, I summoned him . He looks divine in a black vest, white shirt, and rolled up sleeves. Now that I've seen him naked and had him inside me, I doubt I can gaze upon him without arousal coursing through my veins. I take a moment to silently observe him move bottles of beer into crates. I yearn to reach out to him so badly it hurts. Why am I punishing myself?

"Hey, Natie!" Keisha's voice rings in my ear.

He looks up just as I turn to my right with my eyebrows raised. My best friend is waving manically down at him. Natie beams at her and waves back, and his smile falls when he glances at me. A unique mixture of hope and contrition pools in his brown eyes for a moment. Then, he turns back to the crate and marches off, no doubt preparing for tonight's festivities.

I miss holding his hand. I miss my Natie.

Reading my mind, Keisha slaps the back of my head.

"Ow!"

"Why haven't you called him back yet?!"

I rub my head, knowing my bestie is going to chastise me. "We've been texting."

"And you haven't resolved your issues?" She glowers at me disapprovingly.

I crane my neck around in discomfort. "I'm busy. With…the wedding."

"You ain't getting married! And that boy wants you."

"He's not a boy, he's a man. And he c-c-couldn't even ask me out without being p-p-pressured."

"And he's asked you out since then, hasn't he?"

"Well, yes."

"Then stop being an idiot." She hits the back of my head again, and I grunt. Tough love hurts . "Natie Shiba finally likes you back. He bullied you in high school, but now you're torturing him." She pokes my chest and the wedding band plays another tune. "So stop it, Santos. Before you lose him."

My best friend saunters off, giving me plenty to think about. She's right, of course. I've been using the wedding as a big fat excuse. Truthfully, I cannot accept that my high school bully and crush likes me back. The fear of having the real Natie Shiba is stopping me from forging ahead in our burgeoning relationship. He's so much better than me, and if Natie finds out I'm not worthy of him, it could send me spiraling.

I long for us to be together. But how can a stuttering former jock like me put into words what I want?

After listening to the sound check for several minutes, I walk back into the lobby. I pause when a familiar pair of eyes locks onto me. The dude with slicked-back hair approaches me, and I gulp. What does Natie's brother want?

"Hey, you're the brother of the bride, right?"

I nod. "I have something crucial to talk to you about in the back office. Something about…deposits."

He hasn't been present for any of the wedding planning, but he's a Shiba, so I have no choice but to trust Johnny. Plus, with minutes until the ceremony, I need to iron out all the details. Wayne and Santana have too much on their plate.

We walk behind the counter where a worker named Davi is checking out a pair of guests. When we make it to the back office, Johnny sits at the large wooden desk. He stares at the computer and presses his finger to his lips.

"Um…" I twiddle my fingers. "The deposit?"

Johnny looks at me. "Oh right. The um…deposit looks good."

Huh ?

"But now that you're here, I have something to say, off the cuff." Oh boy, here it comes. "Santos, I never pressured my brother into asking you out."

Resigned to being trapped in this conversation, I nod. "Well, I kind of did, but that was because I knew he wanted to. I didn't force him to do anything. Dude, he really likes you."

A slight grin splays on my lips. "I…like him, too. I was gonna tell him after the wedding that we should, um…"

"Got it." Johnny stands up, and serenity is restored between us. "I hope you two give yourselves a real chance. My brother deserves to be happy."

I stand up and smile, then shake his hand. "I agree."

"But as his older brother, you better not break his heart." I laugh, but Johnny's face remains neutral. He shakes my hand with vigor, and his palm grips me a bit too tightly. I gulp, but before the fight-or-flight reflex kicks in, he drops his hand and adds, "I'm kidding!"

He guffaws, and I force a smile. Today has been a hurricane, and the ceremony hasn't even started yet. When Johnny calms down, he stares at me intently. "But seriously, if you need to let him down, be gentle."

"I…won't," I mutter. "Let him down, that is."

"Good man." He pats my shoulder and gives me a real smile this time. My muscles relax at his demeanor. A tiny kindling of my imaginative desire wants me to impress him as my potential future brother-in-law. But I'm jumping way ahead of myself. First, my sister's wedding, then make up with my man; then, years later, our wedding.

Guests walk in from the parking lot, and I greet everyone entering Shiba's Seaside. The guest list isn't extensive, and everyone my sister and Wayne wanted here has shown up. Before I close the doors, I spot one car park crookedly on the curb. A familiar figure steps out the door, and my face flushes. Oh, hell no.

I march up to him in the parking lot, steam probably coming out of my ears. He sways and ambles forward. "Son!"

Not only did my dad show up not invited, but he apparently drank before driving here? His eyes are bloodshot, his shirt is wrinkled, and his hair is disheveled. How can he be both reckless and audacious enough to show up?

"You're here, mijo !"

"Don't c-c-call me that." He's not Peruvian. He didn't raise me. "What are you doing here?!"

He stumbles back and forth, and I shuffle left and right to both block him and prevent him from falling on his face. Not that he doesn't deserve it. I'm fortunate no one's in the parking lot to witness this.

"I'm here to give my…my…Santana away!" He raises his fist and grins at the sky. I gag at the rank malodor of absinthe on his clothes.

"You're not going to do that."

"Wha…what?! She'll walk down alone?!" he asks through slurred speech.

"It doesn't matter to you. You weren't invited."

"Pssh…" My dad walks forward, dodging me as I try to stand in his way. "A daughter needs her father."

I grunt as he continues to stumble forward. "No, she doesn't."

"Then who else will walk her down the aisle?"

Rage builds up in my throat, and I put a finger on his chest. "M-m-m-me. I'm her b-b-brother." How dare he try to ruin this day?

Dad cackles at the sky. "B-b-b-brother." He makes a weird face to mock me, and the blood rushes down from my face. "You still have that stupid fucking stutter?! You are so dumb , I can't believe you came from me."

"W-w-what?!" My throat goes parched. He always hated my stutter, possibly more than I did. After all these years, it still stings to have someone point it out and use it against me. My own father manages to tear down my spirit in a drunken tirade, just like when I was a kid.

"You know, I'm glad I'm here. I can save Santana from a shitty wedding being organized by her dumbass brother. I don't know why she ever looked up to you, but I'm here now, to—"

"To do what?" A booming, challenging voice hails down from above, and I turn around.

Natie.

He's walking down the steps to us, and despite his calm demeanor, I can tell he's winding up for a verbal fastball. "To ruin the life these two siblings built? To ruin the happiness Santana is going to celebrate?"

The venom in his voice is unmistakable, and he glares at my dad with a fury I've never witnessed.

"Who the hell—?"

"Santana wants nothing to do with the pathetic likes of you." Natie steps closer to Dad, who eyes him in shock, sobering up with each word. "You're not a man. You're a worthless coward who walked out on his family. Santos is strong, and kind, and deserving of love, and so much smarter than you could ever hope to be."

He jabs his finger in my dad's face, and I'm too stunned to move. "You deserve to rot for the hell you've put these two siblings through. But I won't let you hurt them anymore. As hotel manager, I'm ordering you to leave the premises immediately, or I'll have no choice but to subdue you with force."

Dad slaps Natie's hand away and grins at him, a drunken wicked smile that means he's not budging. "Oh really? Bring it on, shrimp lo mein. Who's gonna stop me? You got an army?" Dad laughs manically, but Natie simply grins and shrugs.

"No, but I have a brother."

THWACK.

In two seconds, Dad falls to the ground, and Johnny stands behind him, one elbow up where Dad's head was. Damn . Johnny moved so swiftly that I didn't even notice him charging up to take out Dad.

"What is going on out here?" Mr. Shiba shouts. I look up to see Mr. and Mrs. Shiba rush down the steps.

"A drunk trespasser came onto the property," Natie replies, staring at me.

"He lunged at Natie, so I took him out," Johnny explains, shaking his arms out. "I had to protect Natie."

"Is this true?" Mr. Shiba asks, looking at me.

I gulp and nod. "It was…s-s-self-defense."

"Mom, we should call the police," Johnny says as Mrs. Shiba walks up to him and rubs his arms. Meanwhile, my dad groans on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Natie asks. When he puts his hands on my shoulders, my heart rate finally slows down. A spark of affection runs down my spine, and I resist the urge to bury my face in his arms.

I nod dumbly. As usual, Natie Shiba has rendered me speechless. "I was worried." He pulls me in for a hug, and I tense up. "I'm sorry. I had to do what was necessary to protect you," he whispers.

We gradually pull apart and I stare into his affectionate brown eyes. Shit, he truly was shaken, it's all over his face. "Th-th-thank you, Natie."

I rub his shoulders with my thumbs, then I notice Mr. Shiba calling the police. Johnny binds my dad's wrists up with his black tie. Natie smiles and takes my hands off him. "We'll stay here and give our statements to the police. You go walk your sister down the aisle."

He squeezes my palms one last time and gazes at me with undeniable yearning. Then, he reluctantly lets me go, so I can attend Santana's wedding.