Chapter 10

CHAPTER

TEN

SANTOS

I sit in my car and reread the text message over and over again. "Meet me at my place? It's the south cottage of Shiba's Seaside." It's been two weeks since I was last here. My spine tingles at the idea of Natie having my number. On top of that, he's invited me over for a book chat.

Sure, he's friend-zoned me, but all great relationships have to start somewhere, right? That kindling of optimism that Natie might…potentially…possibly…grow to like me as more than a platonic buddy refuses to dwindle. Today, on this weekday evening, the hope intensifies even further. I'm parked across from his abode, and we've planned to chat books and have dinner…or something.

When I walk out of my car toward the house, the man in question storms out. He's wearing a white button-down, tight blue jeans, and a scowl on his face. He strides up to me with clenched fists, glaring at the ground.

"Hey," I say, once he's close enough.

"Santos. Follow me," he grumbles without stopping. I haven't seen him this upset since we were teens. What gives?

"Natie?"

"I need a drink," he mutters. We make the five-minute trek to the main building of Shiba's Seaside. Frustration rolls off him, but he hasn't brushed me off yet. This is not how I anticipated this evening would go.

He barges through the restaurant, into the kitchen, and I follow him. Since he runs the place, the workers nod and stay out of his way. I feel like an outsider, wearing my dark peacoat over my work clothes. Despite this, no one spares me a second glance, likely because I'm with Natie.

"Tuna sandwiches, okay?" he asks, grabbing food and putting it in a paper basket.

"Uh, sure?"

He rummages around and finds more food and piles it into the container, then nods his head at me. I follow him with what must be a confused look on my face. What happened to him?

Two minutes later, he's finally halted by the beach. I take a seat next to him on an upside-down wooden rowboat. The concrete of the poolside area casts a shadow over us. He hands me some food without looking at me or saying a word. It's a cool spring day, but the ocean breeze isn't uncomfortable in the slightest.

What's perturbing me is Natie's demeanor. He's eating in a disgruntled fashion and hasn't said a word. What is going on?

Halfway through my tuna sandwich and potato chips, I finally find my voice. "I…brought the book."

"Cool," he murmurs, still staring at the ocean.

The silence between us is thick. I don't think I like Natie this way. "Um, if you want me to go…"

This breaks him from the spell. "Shit, sorry, Santos." He gives me a look of contrition with those precious dark brown eyes. He's so enchanting, I can't stay mad at him.

"It's alright, I just didn't want to intrude if you'd prefer solitude."

"I do want you around." His words cause a firecracker to burst in my heart. I smile, urging him to keep going. "I'm sorry I've been a dick, it's just…" He scratches his eyebrow, and I want so badly to comfort him. I want to sweep him up into my arms and kiss him senseless.

But that's not what new friends do. Instead I ask, "What's wrong?"

He looks at me, eyes watery, then back out at the shore. "I'm being an immature brat."

My eyebrows furrow. "How so?"

He sighs. "You know how I live with Firass?"

"Yeah."

"I also live with my brother."

"Who is dating Firass," I say.

"Yup." He shrugs, and I stop breathing.

This is it. This is when he tells me that after all these years, he's fallen in love with Firass. It's okay, I can be his shoulder to cry on, at least for now.

"Oh."

"And, like…he was my friend first," he whines softly.

My throat feels like sandpaper. "Yeah."

"I wanted to show off this new game that arrived in the mail. Instead, I just now caught him making out with Johnny on the couch." He gags. "The couch that we share."

Note to self: avoid sitting on the couch at their place.

Natie huffs, and I nod. "I know it's an overreaction, I just wanted a modicum of my best friend's attention. And my other friends are all busy with their boyfriends." He angrily munches on his sandwich. Meanwhile, my heart is rapidly shriveling up inside . Tamp down the jealousy, Santos…

"Mhm," I say.

"And worst of all, I'm happy for them. I'm so fucking happy for all of them."

What ? His disheartened tone is in direct contrast with his words.

"Wait, really?" I ask.

"Yeah." He turns to me with his eyebrows raised. "I want all my friends to be happy."

Is it possible he's not actually into Firass? "So what else is irritating you?"

Natie looks down at his empty paper tray. "Do you mind if we throw these out? I don't want to cling to garbage while we talk."

We still get to talk? Stupendous . "Sure."

After we dispose of our trash, he puts his hands in his back pockets then bounces on his toes. His disarming adorableness should be illegal. "Do you wanna like…walk along the beach and chat?"

More than anything I've ever wanted in my whole life. "Y…y-yeah." We share a smile, and I follow him several yards along the sand. We make it to the concrete sidewalk where a few patrons sit on benches or mull about. It's late in the evening, but the spring sun has yet to fully give way to the night. Seagulls squawk above, and all I can smell is the ocean.

I'm taking a long walk on the beach with Natie Shiba; this has to be considered first base somewhere, right?

"My friends and I formed a board game group."

"Oh?"

"Yeah." He shoves his hands deeper into his front pockets as we stroll down the sidewalk and the ocean waves crest to our right. "Me, Firass, and our buddies, Dylan and Hamadi. We call ourselves the Single Gamer's Society."

I snicker. "Cool."

"It was because none of us had boyfriends, but we had each other. But then Firass started dating my brother." He raises his hands in a defensive gesture. "Which I'm fine with!"

Relief swells in my heart. "Really?"

"Yeah. I thought it was weird at first, because, come on: my bestie dating my brother? I feel like I'm allowed to be grossed out for a little bit."

I nod. "Understandable."

"Then Hamadi came out and started dating his best friend. Then last year, Dylan found his boyfriend."

Clarity dawns on me as I stare at Natie's profile while we walk —he's jealous. "You're…feeling left behind."

"Yes! That's it!" He snaps his fingers then spins around to walk backward. "And it's not like I'm romantically attracted to any of them."

"They're your buddies. You were the Single Gamer's Society, but n-n-now you're the only one who's single."

"Exactly!"

"They used to help you to not feel lonely, but now…" I shrug and let the unspoken words drift into the air.

"Right." He nods and stops walking backward. Before he can say more, a couple rollerblades toward him, so I quickly push Natie away.

"Woah!" he utters. The blading couple whizzes past us with blinking lights on their helmets. Night-time rollerbladers? Seems dangerous.

Once they're gone, we both look down to notice my hands on his shoulders. I bolt away like he's on fire, and he does the same. We both laugh in a strained manner and turn to the beach. After pausing momentarily, we lean on the black railing. To our right, Shiba's Seaside resembles a tiny toy house on the horizon. The sun has nearly set, and I haven't even noticed. In the short time we were walking, we've apparently made quite the distance. Natie and I are so far from everything we know.

Turning to my left, I study him smiling at the ocean. "Your…shoulders are less tense."

He quirks an eyebrow, then straightens his stance. "That they are."

"Glad I could assist," I say. My mouth feels dry, and my hands itch to grab his.

"You're…you're a really good listener, Santos."

My cheeks warm. If I didn't know any better, I'd say his voice is filled with interest and affection. "Th…th-thanks."

"I'm over here offloading all my drama."

"What are friends for?"

His face falls for a split second before he smiles at me. "Well, thanks. For being a friend despite me being a fuck-up in high school."

He gives a self-deprecating chuckle, and I shake my head. "You weren't. Well, not really." He hums in agreement, then we're both silent. I gaze at the crashing water, wishing I could have evenings like this all the time.

"It's easy to be a listener when you h-h-have a stutter."

When I turn to my left, Natie's frowning. "That…sounds rough."

"It can be." Without saying a word, we both begin the long stroll back to Shiba's Seaside.

"Is that why you were so against reading out loud in English class?"

I almost shudder in embarrassment. "You…remember that?"

"Yeah." He winces, and I feel mortified as if it happened yesterday. "But it's so not a big deal."

"My dad thought it was," I mutter. My pulse quickens, and I wish I could snatch the words right out of the air.

"What?"

"It's nothing." I scratch my eyebrow while he studies me in the evening twilight. "I'm j-j-just not so good with talking."

"Again, no biggie."

"I'm much m-m-more eloquent in texting and writing."

"Oh, right, the book notes!" Natie laughs and points to me. I smile and take out his book, then hand it to him. "Awesome! I'm so freaking hyped to read your notes."

My heart flutters again. I like making Natie happy. "I…enjoyed it."

"Ugh, wish you could annotate all my books," he says, thumbing through the yellow papers jutting out of his book.

"Why? You gonna hand it in as homework?"

"No," he says through a laugh. "I just think it's amazing. Firass doesn't like reading, he's too busy designing games."

"And making out with Johnny," I add.

"Ugh." He groans, and then we both crack up as we make our return trip to the resort.

A woman I don't recognize is checking in a young family while another worker pushes a luggage cart through the front door. Natie leads me to the bookshelf, and I notice that, no, it hasn't been touched.

"I gotta get your notes on this one," Natie says with a smile. He pulls out a book, another shifter romance presumably, and I eagerly thumb through the hardcover. I have the honor of continuing this two-man book club with Natie; it feels like Christmas in my heart.

"Thanks. I-I-I'm looking forward to reading it."

"And I'm gonna dig into these notes!" He dramatically holds up my most recent read, flicking through the annotated pages, and I chuckle. "Cannot wait."

"Neither can I." I awkwardly wave his other book around with a faux-salute, then we exchange goodbyes.

As I drive home in the dark, I can't wipe the gleeful expression on my face. Tonight we had so much fun, almost like a real date. When the phone buzzes, I use the stop sign as an excuse to briefly gaze at the most recent text. Upon reading the message, my smile intensifies so quickly it hurts.

"I'm looking forward to reading your literary analysis and everyday poetry, Santos Hand. (smiley face emoji)"