Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

M y phone buzzed. I assumed it was Edward again, and I was prepared to send his call to voice mail. But instead, Greer's name flashed on the screen, along with a picture of us from her birthday trip a few years ago. We were smiling, best friends after almost two decades. My gut clenched with guilt—both familiar and unwanted.

For years, I'd suppressed my guilt over my secret relationship with Jackson. I told myself it was in the past. It didn't matter. Besides, Greer's biggest fear had been that Jackson would ruin her relationship with me. And despite how difficult it had been, I had never let what had happened with her brother come between us.

But seeing Jackson again, knowing that I'd be spending the next two months with him… It had a funny way of bringing all the guilt, all the secrets, all the lies, back to the forefront of my mind. And since Jackson and I hadn't touched on the topic of Greer earlier, I could only assume he hadn't told her about his new assignment.

Hell, he'd never been one to tell his sister the truth about us. Why should it be any different now?

I took a deep breath and hit the button to connect the call. "Greer. Hey." I placed the phone on the bed, tapping the speaker button so I could chat while I got ready for bed.

"Sloan! I'm glad I caught you before you head off on your big adventure. I had a crazy idea I wanted to run by you." She sounded strange. Almost…hyper? Or out of breath?

"Okay," I said, dragging out the word. Greer had always been more of a planner. Less…spontaneous. Crazy ideas typically weren't part of her vernacular.

"I hope you're not going to kill me, but…" I braced myself while I waited for the rest of whatever she was going to say. "I bought a plane ticket to Puerto Rico. I thought I could meet you there."

"You…what?" The last word came out as more of a shriek.

"I bought a plane ticket to Puerto Rico!"

"What about…what about Logan and the kids?" I asked, trying to wrap my head around her impromptu travel plans. "And work?"

"They'll be fine. Besides, I can use the trip for content."

I frowned. Greer owned a popular lifestyle blog that she'd transformed into a huge platform. She and her team typically planned their content months, if not years, in advance. A trip like this was completely out of character.

That said, maybe she needed a break. She ran a successful seven-figure business. She was a mom of two. A wife. It was a lot. I didn't know how she made it look so easy, even when I knew it wasn't.

"I get that, but can you really just drop everything and leave?"

"Psh." She tried to brush aside my concerns, but I wasn't buying it.

"What do you mean, psh?" I asked. Greer didn't do laid-back. She didn't go with the flow.

"I just…" Her voice cracked, and my heart ached at her distress. "I need a break. And we haven't taken a girls' trip in years."

"I know, but…are you sure? This all seems so sudden." I asked, all worries about keeping my previous relationship with Jackson a secret fading in the face of concern for my best friend.

"Yes," she said. "Yes," she said again. More resolutely. "Besides, I'm worried about you. Two months alone at sea is a long time."

"Actually…" I hedged. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Now, I'm worried." She said it in a teasing tone, but I could hear her unease all the same.

"No. It's just…I won't be alone."

"Edward?" She paused. "I thought he got motion sickness."

"He does. And it's not him." I clasped and unclasped my watch, spinning it around my wrist. "We broke up." And I had yet to shed a single tear.

If anything, I felt relief. Our relationship had been built on mutual respect. Compatibility. For a long time, I'd thought that was enough. Told myself it was enough.

"For real?" She sounded almost…hopeful.

"Yes. For real."

She shrieked, and I was grateful I hadn't been holding the phone to my ear. "OMG. Who's with you, then? A new boy toy? One of your brothers?"

"No to the boy toy." To both. "And we only recently ended things."

"Are you okay?" she asked, her tone softening.

"I am." I smiled.

"I'm glad."

"About me or the breakup?"

She laughed. "Both. So, are you going to tell me who's going on the trip with you so I can stop putting my foot in my mouth?"

"Is that even possible?" I teased.

"Har. Har. Who's going with you?"

I hesitated a moment, my heart rate always quickening at the thought of the threats. "You know those nasty notes I received?" I'd told her about the first one because I'd thought it was a joke. But then she'd insisted I keep her posted, so I had.

"Yeah."

"My brothers made me hire a bodyguard."

"Finally," she sighed. Shit. Had she been that concerned for me too? "Is he hot?"

"He's…" I swallowed hard. "Your brother." And yes, he's hot.

She was quiet for so long that I glanced at the screen to make sure we were still connected. We were.

"Greer?" I prompted.

"Sorry." She sounded almost…dazed. "I think it must have cut out. You said something about your brothers."

"No." I took a deep breath. " Your brother. Jackson. Jackson is my new bodyguard."

There was a pause, and I braced myself. "Jackson's going with you?"

"Yep."

"On the boat," she said.

"Mm-hmm." I was practically holding my breath at this point. Waiting for her reaction.

"For two months."

"Yes," I sighed. There was no way around it.

And Jackson wasn't happy about it either, judging from his exchange with Tabitha on the flight here. His terse, "I go where I'm told," echoed in my mind.

"Wow. That's…" I prepared myself for her to say "terrible," but instead, she practically yelled, "Awesome!"

"It is?" My shoulders were still coiled tight with tension.

"Yeah! I feel a lot better about the situation with him there. He's a good sailor, and I know he'd never let anything happen to you. You're like a sister to him."

I winced. Right. Like a sister.

"Plus," she continued. "When we're all in Puerto Rico, it'll be like old times."

Except it wouldn't be "like old times." Jackson and I wouldn't be sneaking around, stealing kisses, touching every chance we got. But we'd still be lying about our relationship.

I'd never told Greer about Jackson. How could I? I knew how much losing her high school friend had hurt her. And I'd gotten involved with Jackson anyway.

She'd known that I was seeing someone. That I was heartbroken when it had ended. And for the longest time, she'd suspected that my mystery man had been married. She'd never outright asked, but she'd hinted at it enough times.

I could never bring myself to tell her the truth, and I'd always felt like such a coward for it. But I refused to come between my best friend and her older brother. Selfishly, I couldn't fathom the thought of losing her.

Greer had been my rock. My best friend since freshman year of college. She'd been there for me when my beloved grandmother had died. And then when my grandfather had followed soon after. Their deaths had left a gaping void in my life. And then my siblings and I had been left to take on the mammoth task of running the global hotel empire.

Greer and I had been there for each other through bad dates and heartbreaks. Whether it was the best time of my life or the worst, she was always by my side. And I had her back.

Which was why my betrayal, my lies, felt like the worst possible sin.

"Sloan?" she asked, and I wondered how much of the conversation I'd missed.

"Yeah?"

"I said I'll see you in a few weeks."

I couldn't tell her no. Not that I'd want to anyway. So I tried to force myself to sound enthusiastic. "Sounds good. Love you, Greer."

"Love you too."

We ended the call, and I sank down into one of the chairs. What the hell was I going to do? The last time I'd been with Greer and Jackson had been at her wedding, and I'd sworn it would be the last. It was too painful. There were too many secrets between us. Too much potential for hurt.

My mind drifted back to that day.

I peered out the window at the Empire State Building. Still no sign of Jackson. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed.

I hadn't seen him in nearly a year. Not since he'd broken my heart. And now, I was going to have to stand across the aisle from him and smile as we watched his sister—and my best friend—get married.

I sighed, dreading that moment. The moment when I'd have to face him. When I'd have to smile and pretend as if nothing had ever happened between us.

As if he didn't know my body intimately.

Hadn't consumed my thoughts for the past few years.

Hadn't shattered my heart completely and irrevocably.

Was he bringing a date? Was that why he was running late?

Oh god. I held a hand to my stomach. If I had to watch him laughing with someone else. Touching someone else… I was going to be sick.

"Sloan?" Greer called.

"Yeah. Yep?" I answered too quickly, my tone too bright.

If anyone found my behavior odd, I hoped they'd chalk it up to wedding day nerves and excitement. Not the fact that I was going to have to face the love of my life after he'd told me that the end of our relationship was "inevitable." Inevitable. Ha!

Looking back now, I could say the only thing that had been inevitable was the fact that he'd break my heart. Greer had been right.

"What can I get you?" I asked Greer. Jackson might be running late, but I knew he would never miss his sister's wedding. He was walking her down the aisle, for Christ's sake. "Something to eat? To drink?"

"Champagne." She grinned, passing me a glass. "Here."

I realized then that the rest of the bridal party were already holding their own flutes, the bubbles racing to the top. If I'd eaten breakfast this morning, I was pretty sure it, too, would be racing to escape.

"Thank you all for helping celebrate my wedding." Greer smiled. "I'm so grateful for each of you and the role you've played in my life."

"Aww," one of the other bridesmaids crooned. I wanted to be present. To be there for my best friend, but it felt as if I were floating outside my body. Watching everything as it happened to me instead of being an active participant.

Damn, Jackson.

"And thank you to Sloan." Greer turned to me. "For helping me have the wedding of my dreams at my dream venue." She spread one arm wide to encompass our suite. "The presidential suite at the Huxley Grand New York? It doesn't get any better than this."

The Huxley Grand New York was one of the most sought-after wedding venues in Manhattan. It didn't matter that it was incredibly expensive; it was booked out years in advance. But for Greer, I'd covered the majority of the cost, knowing she'd never let me pay for her wedding, even though it wouldn't make a dent in my inheritance now that I had full access to my trust.

I inclined my head. "Only the best for my bestie." I'd happily pulled some strings, doing everything in my power to ensure my best friend had the most wonderful wedding day possible. It was the least I could do.

We clinked our glasses, and I downed the champagne, feeling like the terrible friend I was. She had no idea that I loved her brother, and it needed to stay that way.

Besides, it didn't matter now. Jackson and I were over.

I was still gutted by the fact that he'd lied to me. He'd said he loved me, but he'd accepted a job on the other side of the country. He'd interviewed and searched for apartments and made plans for his future without my ever having a clue.

I tightened my grip on the champagne flute. How could I have been so oblivious? How could he have kept something so big…from me?

I guessed part of me knew I should've seen it coming. He'd lied to his family for months, allowing them to believe he was still with the SEALs. We'd both lied about our relationship—never letting on that we were together. That we were in love.

I took a gulp of champagne. Were we, though? In love?

Everything else had been a lie, so maybe that had been too. At least for him.

The bridal party finished getting ready. By the time I was in my dress, I was on my third glass of champagne. I was buzzed and determined to be happy, and I was not going to let Jackson—or anyone else—ruin this day.

"Oh my goodness." Greer's mom, Belinda, entered the suite. "Sweetheart…" She held a hand to her mouth, her gaze soft on Greer. "You look stunning."

"Mom." Greer fanned her face. "Don't make me cry."

"I have amazing news." Belinda was beaming, radiating joy as she took Greer's hands in hers. "Your brother made it in early this morning. He's getting ready and should be up soon."

Greer's shoulders relaxed, her face transforming into one of serene happiness. "Did you hear that, Sloan?" Greer turned to me. "Jackson made it. He's not going to miss my wedding."

"That's great."

She turned back to her mom. And while I was happy and relieved for my best friend, her announcement only served to ratchet up my anxiety. As Greer and her mom talked with excitement about the day ahead, I was filled with nothing but dread.

Get it together!

Belinda turned to me, while the hair stylist touched up one last curl for Greer. Belinda took my hands in her own then stepped back to look at me. "You look so beautiful, Sloan."

I was grateful that Greer had let us pick our own dresses, provided they were black. I'd opted for a halter neck dress with a low back and a high slit. Anything to feel confident and sexy.

"Thank you, Belinda." She gave me a hug.

There was a knock at the door, and the butler peeked his head in. "Mrs. Shaw? Your son is here."

"Give me just a minute, Mom," Greer called.

"Sure," she said to Greer before turning back to me. "Try not to break too many hearts out there." She winked.

I laughed, though it had a nervous edge to it. If she only knew…

Greer came over to me while the others visited. "Hey. You okay?" she asked, her voice low as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

"Are you kidding?" I smiled, but thanks to the champagne, it didn't feel as forced as before. "I'm so happy for you."

"I know, but—" She glanced around as if to confirm no one was listening. "You've been going through a lot. A really rough breakup, a move, and…"

I held up a hand to silence her. "I appreciate your concern, and I love you for it. But you don't need to worry about me. Especially not on your wedding day."

"Maybe a wedding is just what you need. Maybe you'll find a hottie to hook up with. One of Logan's cousins is single." She waggled her eyebrows.

"Thanks, but I'm good." I couldn't imagine hooking up with another man, no matter how hot they were. Jackson had ruined me.

"Sloan," she chided.

"Greer." I mimicked her tone. "I'm fine. Promise."

"Mm-hmm." I got the distinct impression she didn't believe me.

Hell, I wouldn't either. She, of all people, knew how much of a mess I'd been after the breakup.

"Is everyone decent?" Jackson's low voice called, practically vibrating through me. Fuck. Oh fuck.

"Come in," Greer called out.

Before he could enter, I turned my back to the door and busied myself with my phone. I took a deep, fortifying breath. This was the moment I'd been dreading for months.

Act normal. Act normal. Act normal.

What the fuck even was normal in this situation?

My best friend's brother was the love of my life and the man who'd destroyed me.

I went to the mirror, keeping my eyes on my reflection as I reapplied my lip gloss. I refused to look at Jackson. It didn't matter that I could sense his presence. That my body was still attuned to him like a flower seeking the sun after all this time. That I could feel his eyes on me like a lover's caress. I knew if I looked at him, it was over. My carefully constructed fa?ade would crumble.

Yet, when I glanced up… Yep. Sure enough. There he was, and damn, he looked good in his dress uniform, medals strapped to his chest. And he was looking right at me, our eyes locked in the reflection.

I sucked in a quiet gasp, feeling the force of his gaze like a bullet through my chest.

I quickly glanced away, my cheeks flaming with heat at the fact that he'd caught me staring. My heart was racing, and all the champagne was catching up to me and not in a good way.

I can do this. I can do this. I turned away from the mirror, smiling and keeping my attention on Greer.

Jackson greeted the other bridesmaids by name, giving some of them a hug. And then he came to me, and my body froze. As if I was waiting to see what he'd do first. Like he was a predator and I was his prey, and I didn't know if I'd make it out of this alive.

"Sloan," he rasped. My heart thundered in my ears, and I couldn't get a read on his tone.

I inclined my head, unable to say more than, "Jackson."

The click of a camera shutter reminded me just how many people were watching. And damn it, I was not going to ruin the day for Greer. So I smiled and tried to focus—as always—on my best friend and not her brother.