Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

" A untie Sloan!" Brooklyn ran at me, and I dropped my bags and smiled despite my jet lag.

I'd landed in New York earlier in the day and had been ferried to the Huxley Grand by a guy named Zeke, who went by the call sign Disco—one of the members of my temporary security team. I'd slept some on the flight, but it had been fitful. I was too preoccupied with all the things I needed to wrap up at work to truly rest.

Jasper was going to keep an eye on the London office in my absence. Between him and my executive assistant, Halle, I had faith that everything would run smoothly.

I tried to blame my restlessness on work, but even I knew there was more to it. Things with Edward had been…strained lately. It was almost as if he was trying to punish me for taking too long to give him an answer about moving in together.

Then there was Jackson, and the possibility that I might run into him.

Jackson Shaw , I sighed.

My best friend's older brother. My first love. And apparently, a member of Nate's security team, something I hadn't realized until Abu Dhabi.

Up until that point, I'd tried to forget all about him. Greer mentioned Jackson every so often in passing, but I usually tried not to pay too much attention. But now that I'd seen him again, I couldn't stop thinking about him, despite not wanting to.

For months, I'd been dying to ask Nate about Jackson. About how long he'd been working for him and so many other things besides. But I didn't know how to bring it up without sparking questions I didn't want to answer.

I'd considered asking Disco about Jackson. But every time I'd come close, I'd lost my nerve. Now that I was going to meet up with Nate and his family, I was on edge. Almost as if waiting for Jackson to pop out from behind a corner.

It was silly, really. I was being ridiculous.

For all I knew, Jackson could've been temporarily assigned to Nate in Abu Dhabi, like Disco was temporarily assigned to me in London. I'd never once seen Jackson during my other visits to LA before or since our run-in in Abu Dhabi.

Yeah. I told myself. A temporary assignment—that must be it.

Even if I saw him now, I could be cordial. We'd been together…so long ago. It practically felt like another lifetime. Like a dream…

"Auntie Sloan?" Brooklyn asked, dragging me out of my thoughts.

"Sorry." I smiled. I was missing out on precious time with my niece because I was distracted by thoughts of Jackson. Enough . "I brought you something." I reached into my bag.

She squealed when I pulled out a tin of her favorite cookies from the Huxley Grand London.

Though there were many menu items we kept consistent across the world, each location also had some unique local delicacies. The Huxley Grand in Paris had the best éclairs and croissants. The most amazing choux buns. The Huxley Grand in London was known for its decadent high tea. And our famed tinned cookies were provided in all the suites and sold in our gift shop. Brooklyn was obsessed with them.

"Thank you!" Brooklyn beamed then handed me a few friendship bracelets. "I made these for you."

I smiled as I peered down at the bracelets with their colorful designs and inspirational phrases. Brooklyn was a huge fan of Taylor Swift, and so was Emerson—her dad's fiancée.

I'd always been protective of Brooklyn. She was like a daughter to me. And her egg donor, Trinity, was a piece of work. But Emerson… I smiled. Emerson was everything I would've hoped for for Brooklyn—Nate, too. She was driven and kind and loving. Despite my initial hesitance because of the speed—and surprise—of their engagement, I adored her.

"These are amazing! Thank you." I slid the bracelets onto my wrist next to my watch. There was one with beads that spelled "Unstoppable." Another with "Smooth Sailing." And the third read "Captain Sloan." That was probably my favorite.

"I also brought these." I grabbed another tin from my bag. It was identical to the first, except the goodies were all gluten- and oat-free. "For Sophia and her family."

Brooklyn scanned the label and brightened. "All gluten free? For real?"

I smiled. "Yep!"

A few years ago, Jasper had issued a challenge to Huxley Grand properties across the world to make allergy-friendly versions of guest favorites. Our team had exceeded all our expectations. Even I couldn't tell the difference between the two. The texture and flavor were identical.

"She's going to love it!" She threw her arms around my neck once more. "Thank you."

"I'm glad." I smiled and turned to Nate and Emerson as they entered the room.

Emerson wore a cute matching athletic set in bright colors, her long blond hair in a bouncy ponytail.

"It's good to see you," Emerson said, giving me a hug.

"You too." I smiled. "How was your Peloton class?"

It was the second Peloton class they'd taught together, and I could see why everyone was clamoring for more. I'd streamed their first one live and had replayed it several times since because it was that good. I'd loved their dynamic, and so did everyone else. Emerson pushed us to work harder, and Nate made us laugh during the class.

"Great." She grinned just as Nate groaned. Served him right.

Nate deserved happiness, but he also needed someone like Emerson to put him in his place.

I laughed, giving him a hug. "Good workout?" I teased. He was sweaty and looked worn out, while Emerson was glowing and energized.

"You'd think I would've learned my lesson by now," he grumbled.

"So, what do you have planned for this afternoon?" I asked.

"Some shopping?" Brooklyn bounced on her toes with a hopeful gleam in her eye as she glanced between Emerson and Nate.

"Of course," Emerson said with a playful grin.

Nate shrugged, his expression full of love and affection as he watched Emerson and Brooklyn plot the stores they were going to visit. Though unlike with Nate's ex, I didn't worry that Emerson was only with Nate for the money or status. She was well-off and successful in her own right. And their love and mutual respect were clear to anyone who was in their presence. I would've been jealous if I weren't so happy for them.

After lunch, Brooklyn and Emerson went shopping. I hung back with Nate to catch up and check in with operations at the Huxley Grand New York. I was supposed to meet my bodyguard today, and I wasn't looking forward to it.

That said, having Disco shadow me in London hadn't been as awful as I'd feared. But as great as Disco had been, it was still difficult to imagine spending two months with him—or anyone—on my boat. And while I knew my brothers were right about my needing protection, I was still pissed about the way they'd gone about it.

Nate and I had returned to the suite and were just starting to discuss my sailing trip over coffee when there was a knock at the door. Disco was stationed in the hall, so anyone knocking would've been vetted by him first.

"Come in," Nate called.

The door swung open, and my eyes collided with a pair of familiar blue ones. The color of the ocean on a bright, sunny day. A full bottom lip I'd gotten drunk on many times. A jaw that had sharpened with age, the hard angles now lined with scruff.

All the air had been sucked out of the room, and my chest felt tight. My entire body was like a live wire, attuned to him. Wary of him.

The years had certainly been kind to Jackson Shaw. He was hotter than ever, his suit perfectly tailored to showcase his broad shoulders and narrow waist. He looked masculine and intimidating, and my body reacted to him like it always did. Leaning closer, desperate for a look, a touch. Anything he was willing to give.

Traitor.

I straightened. He was stoic. Restrained. It was a sobering reminder to rein it in.

But damn those smile lines and the gray at his temples. It was so unfair.

He stiffened, and my gut clenched with anxiety. Surely he…they…

"Jackson," Nate said. "I believe you know my sister, Sloan Mackenzie."

What? I stilled. What had Jackson told Nate about us?

"Yes, of course. You were my sister's roommate in college," was Jackson's response. Smooth as ever. I nodded as if in a daze.

"Sloan," Nate said with a pleased smile. "Jackson will be accompanying you on your sailing trip."

The hell he would.

"No." I stood, smoothing my hands down my skirt.

"No?" Nate furrowed his brow, glancing between the two of us.

To anyone else, nothing about Jackson's expression would indicate displeasure. But I'd always been able to read his emotions. A muscle ticked in his jaw and his nostrils flared. Dead giveaway. He was just as unhappy about this as I was.

Jackson excused himself under the pretense of taking a call.

"Sloan." Nate came over to me. "We talked about this."

"I know." I took a breath, trying to calm my racing heart. "I do. But… Are you okay with me spending two months alone on a boat with him? I mean, with a guy?" I stumbled over the words, flinging my hand toward the door Jackson had just exited.

The mere sight of Jackson set my heart fluttering, and I hated my body's reaction to him. Why? Why him? And why had these feelings still not gone away?

Nate chuckled, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Sloan, you're a grown woman, and it's Jackson. "

Exactly.

"He's Greer's brother. I thought you'd be happy about this."

"Happy. Right," I muttered.

Nate pressed on, undaunted. "Jackson has protected my family for the past year. I trust him with my life. With Em's and Brooklyn's lives."

"Then shouldn't you keep him with you?" I asked, grasping on to that excuse, feeble as it was, considering Nate had clearly agreed to send Jackson with me, if not in fact orchestrating it. "He knows your house, your life. I would never want to put you or your family at risk."

He smiled softly, settling his hands on my shoulders. "Then you understand how I feel about you. And Jackson will certainly be missed—not just because he's familiar with our lives. But you need him more."

Did I?

Nate had always been very intuitive. He was affectionate, sure—knowing when to give me a hug or when to give me space. But his ability to read me made it difficult to hide anything from him.

I scrutinized Nate's expression for clues. Did he know about Jackson and me? About what we'd once been to each other? Of all the history and the heartache between us?

I'd never told my family about Jackson, beyond the fact that he was Greer's brother. Never told anyone. He was my best friend's older brother, and our relationship—if you could even call it that—had only ever been a secret.

I'd loved Jackson. Given him everything. And he'd left, choosing his career over me.

I should've known. Hell, Greer had warned me.

I could remember the first time I'd met Jackson. I'd opened the door to our apartment, and before he could even introduce himself, Greer was there. Jumping into his arms as she squealed his name.

"Jackson." I could hear the smile in her voice. Knew how much she'd been looking forward to seeing her brother.

I had to admit—I'd been curious about him. Greer and I had been friends for a year, and Jackson had been deployed for most of it. He was a Navy SEAL. While I'd seen pictures and said hi a few times while they were on Skype, I had not been prepared for his hotness.

Gorgeous blue eyes scanned me, making me squirm beneath his perusal. He smiled at me over her shoulder. She finally released him, returning to the floor before turning to me.

"Sloan. This is my brother, Jackson. Jackson, this is Sloan."

He stepped over the threshold into our apartment, sucking all the oxygen out of the room. Out of the entire space. It was the size of a shoebox, but it was the nicest place we could afford.

My family had expected that I'd live at the Huxley Grand New York, but I'd wanted an authentic college experience. My grandparents were happy to pay for tuition, but if I wanted to live somewhere else, the cost was on me.

I appreciated their offer, and I knew they were trying to persuade me to live at the hotel. But I was sick of living in a fishbowl. I didn't want to wonder if my family was using the staff to spy on me and report back. I wanted to feel free to do what I wanted.

Hell, New York was one of the most expensive places to live. But I didn't care if I had to work two jobs while attending school to afford a place of my own. A place with Greer. It was worth it.

I'd spent my childhood in hotels around the world, and it was so nice to finally have an apartment that was mine. Where I could hang art on the walls. Decorate it however I wanted. Make the space my own. A home.

Jackson held out his hand. "Nice to finally meet you in person, Sloan."

The way he rasped my name sent a quiver through me. He was handsome. He was trouble.

I hesitated a moment before placing my hand in his. "Same. I've heard a lot about you."

When our hands touched and our eyes met, I felt this…I don't know, spark of recognition. It sounded crazy, but I couldn't deny there was something there. And it wasn't just lust, though he was hot. It was… It was something deeper. A connection.

He shook his head, and I wondered if he'd felt it too. "Only good things, I'm sure." He smirked.

"All right. That's enough," Greer said, severing our contact and giving Jackson a meaningful look.

Jackson shrugged, his expression one of innocence. "What?"

Greer narrowed her eyes at him. "You know what."

"Do I?" he taunted. Or, at least, I thought he was. The devil danced in his eyes, and it was difficult to tell.

"Don't ruin this for me." She continued glaring at him, pointing at him. "I mean it."

I glanced between them, trying to understand. "Don't ruin what?"

"Jackson, here—" she threaded her arm through his "—has a way of sabotaging all my relationships."

"Not all of them." He smiled at me. That smile was wicked. Delicious. It made the most seductive promises.

And I needed to cut it out. He was my best friend's brother, for crying out loud. Any connection—real or imagined—needed to be forgotten.

Greer huffed. "Enough of them. When you're not being a cockblocker, you're trying to get in my friends' pants."

I tried—and failed—to hold in my laughter. The two of them sounded just like my brothers and me. I loved how close they were.

"One time. That happened one time."

"With my high school best friend!" She slapped his chest. "You broke her heart and ruined our friendship."

"Maybe instead of scolding me, you should be thanking me," he said, and I wouldn't have blamed Greer for wanting to knee him in the balls at that point. "She wasn't a true friend."

Greer gnashed her teeth. "You've got some nerve…"

"Look." Jackson's expression turned more serious. "I am sorry ab ? —"

She held up a hand, silencing him. "Nope. I don't want to hear it." He started speaking again, and she clapped her hand over his mouth. "Jackson," she growled. "We are done talking about this."

He lifted a shoulder. "You're the one who brought it up."

Greer's expression was pinched, and she looked as if she might murder him.

He held up his hands. "Okay. Okay. I won't mention it again."

She jabbed his chest. "Not good enough."

"Right." His expression was one of chagrin. "It won't happen again."

"It better not." She glared at him. Then she came to my side and draped her arm over my shoulder. "Sloan is too important to me. We're soul sisters."

I smiled. Greer was my best friend. My rock. The closest thing I'd ever had to a sister. And I had enough older brothers to understand her frustration with Jackson. Hell, I'd even been in her shoes.

It came with the territory of being a younger sister. Some of my friends had crushed on my older brothers, especially Nate. It didn't help that he was a rising star in Hollywood. And the few guys my brothers hadn't managed to scare away had been more interested in my money than me.

Thanks to my brothers and the fortune I was set to inherit, I was still a virgin.

That wasn't fair. It wasn't entirely their fault. I had yet to find someone I felt comfortable enough with to share that kind of intimacy. Just because I understood the mechanics didn't mean I was ready for the emotions that came with it.

Pretty soon, all that would change, though. Pretty soon, everything would change.

I shuddered, rubbing my arms. It had been fourteen years. I'd told myself I was over it. I'd moved on. But it was difficult to ignore the past when we were at the site of Greer's wedding—the last time I'd seen Jackson, apart from our quick run-in in Abu Dhabi. This place held too many memories.

I pushed away the thought and tried to focus on the present. There was nothing for me in the past; I needed to think of the future.

But when I tried to picture the future, I drew a blank.

I scrambled for some excuse, any excuse. "Edward will hate this," I said, when I was the one who hated this. Why did it have to be him ?

I supposed I should've anticipated that my bodyguard would be a man. I'd always assumed it was a male-dominated industry, though I knew there were women in the profession. Still…in my head, I hadn't envisioned spending two months on a sailboat with a man. With Jackson. Whom I'd have to trust, and vice versa.

"It's not up to Edward," Nate said. "And if he cares about you as much as he claims to, he'll be more concerned with your safety than the man ensuring it."

I wasn't so sure about that. Time and again, Edward had insisted that I'd be safer if I moved in with him. Now, he was annoyed with me for leaving for two months. He didn't seem to understand that I needed this trip. The fact that he didn't get that—didn't get me —grated.

"Just…" Nate dragged a hand down his face. "Give Jackson a chance, will you? I think if you got to know him, you'd like him."

That was the problem. I already knew how much I could like him. And I couldn't put my heart through that kind of pain ever again. Losing Jackson, then my grandparents… I swallowed hard, ignoring the way the bridge of my nose stung.

I would not go there. I would not think of what could've been. What almost was…

I let out a shaky exhale.

"Sloan." Nate tilted his head, evaluating me. "Is there something you're not telling me? Some other reason you're opposed to Jackson?"

"I—" I paused, not even sure what to say. The past was in the past, and that was where it needed to stay. So I swallowed back my protests. "No."

I knew Jackson was more than qualified to sail with me. Hell, maybe I should've been happy with this turn of events. And maybe under different circumstances or a decade ago, I would've been. Jackson was a damn good sailor—instinctual. It was something we'd bonded over. Something we'd always dreamed of doing together—taking an extended trip on a boat, just the two of us.

Oh, what a cruel sense of irony the universe had.

"I know you're not happy about this intrusion," Nate said. "But Jackson has always been discreet, respectful, and professional."

I was completely at a loss for words.

"Let's just spend some time with him and talk about the trip. 'Kay?"

I swallowed hard. "Mm. Yep."

Because what else could I do at this point? I'd run out of excuses.

Had Jackson known that I was his new client? He hadn't seemed as surprised to see me as I'd been to see him. But it wouldn't be the first time I'd been wrong about him or the situation.

I straightened, telling myself this was just like any other meeting I attended. I was in charge. I was the boss. His boss.

God, that was weird.

This whole situation was weird. I tried to imagine spending the next two months with him on my boat and failed.

Jackson had once been the oxygen I breathed. Now, he was going to be working for me, protecting me. The prospect of my sailing trip was beginning to seem less like freedom and more like torture.