25. Salem

TWENTY-FIVE

SALEM

“What’s this?” My fingers played along the dress that was sitting on the end of Jud’s bed while I held the sheet to my chest with the other.

The palest light floated in through the square windows that ran high along the wall behind his bed. Dawn had barely broken the night, and the barest rays filtered through the darkness to give a token of the coming day.

I’d woken with Jud’s massive arms curled around my body, the man holding me tight, his steadying breaths filling my ears and my spirit and my lungs.

It’d taken my all to peel myself away from the sanctuary of his arms, but I needed to get home before Juni woke and Darius and Mimi realized I hadn’t come home all night.

Before my heart got any deeper.

Before I fell any farther.

But there I was, careening through the air, no ground below.

Diving into his dark abyss.

My fingers traced over the material. My heart stuttered. This man cared for me in a way no one else had done in my life.

I felt him shift from behind, and I looked back to watch the giant sit up in his bed. The covers slipped down around his waist. He roughed his fingers that worked magical things through his sleep-rumpled hair.

My stomach fisted in a bid of want. In a crash of affection. He was beautiful. In every way.

After last night, I’d never been so sure of anything.

He squinted in the glow of the morning at the things that were laid on his mattress.

“Uh, Logan texted a few hours ago to check how you were after everything went down. He asked if there was anything he could do. I figured you might not want to go slinking back into your house wearing your trashed dress from last night and those heels, so I asked him to pick up a couple things. Not the best selection in the middle of the night, but hell, the man’s got shopping skills.”

Jud chuckled an uneasy sound. Clearly, he was unsure of his actions.

I glanced back at the dress and noticed there was a box with a pair of sandals tucked inside and some toiletries.

“Hope they fit.”

I shifted back to look at him. I couldn’t keep the edge of my mouth from tipping up in a slow smile, returning to the day that had changed everything. “I thought I told you if I fucked you there would be no shame to it?”

Jud grinned, though it was soft, his handsome, rugged face kissed by the morning light, hair lit up in the glow where errant pieces were sticking up all over his head.

“No shame at all, darlin’, but I figured what happened last night is between you and me.”

My heart panged, and my chest squeezed.

Crap.

I was in so much trouble.

I had crossed a line that I was terrified to have crossed.

Trust no one.

But I wasn’t sure I could cling to that any longer with him.

With this man who had me crawling back up to him until I was pressing my lips to his wicked, sexy mouth. “Thank you.”

A big palm found the side of my face. Obsidian eyes flared as he edged back to meet with the truth in my gaze. “The pleasure is all mine, darlin’.”

My teeth clamped down on my bottom lip. What I really wanted to do was curl back into this bed with him.

Let him ravage me all over again.

The way he’d done time and again last night, neither of us sure if it would be the only chance we would have. And those moments? Those hours? They’d belonged to us.

I didn’t want them to end.

My chest squeezed with dread, the reality that in a blink, in a second, I might have to leave him behind.

Run, the way I always did.

Because as much as he promised to stand for me, if it came to it, there was no way I’d drag him into the line of fire.

“I really need to get home.”

He nodded. “I know. Why don’t you go get dressed, and I’ll get you there?”

“Thank you,” I said again.

I wasn’t shy, definitely not after last night, but I felt a blush flushing my body as I slipped off his bed and took the sheet with me. Jud sat there, watching me gather the things he’d had Logan get for me and then shuffle across his floor to the bathroom.

He had this look on his face.

This tenderness that threatened to break up the barriers I had placed inside me.

I dipped my head and ducked into the bathroom before I could let him go any deeper, but I guessed I was the fool who thought that was going to cut the connection.

I could feel it pulse from the other side of the door. A thread that had woven through my heart. A whisper I was sure that no matter where in this world I ran to, it would call to me.

I splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth with the toothbrush that was in the pile, then twisted my hair into a ponytail holder since they’d thought of that, too, before I slipped into the dress and sandals.

The dress landed just above my knees, simple with flowers and cap sleeves, and it fit me perfectly—just like the man.

Before I let myself wane into melancholy, this feeling that one day I was going to lose him, the worry that I couldn’t stay hunting me down like the thief that it was, I headed into the bedroom.

Jud had already dressed, and he was lacing up his boots. Still bent over, he cut a glance at me. “Ready?”

“Yeah.”

He rose to that hulking, glorious height, his shoulders so wide where he was lit up like a silhouette in the grayed streams of light.

A smirk ticked up at the corner of his mouth.

“What?” I asked as I edged deeper into the room.

“It fits.”

I touched the skirt. “It does.”

“I like it.”

“I like it, too.”

It felt as if there was a secret woven in the simple words.

I like you, too, so much, and it scares me more than you can understand.

I was so tired of the hurt. Of the loss and the fear and the veins of joy that always got stripped away.

My spirit shook.

Struck with the realization.

I wanted that vein that I’d found with him to widen and withstand.

Fear clutched my stomach in a grip, rising against the hope that kept bubbling up. It made me feel like I was being tugged in every direction. Questions and worries and these building dreams at odds.

At war.

Before I got lost in them, I grabbed my little purse I’d had from last night, slipped it over my shoulder, and walked toward the door.

Jud cut me off at the pass.

He spun me around and pressed me to the wall. He kissed me hard. Those big hands framed my face while he did. His lips were soft and sweet and enticing.

Emotion rioted.

Want. Fear. Hope.

What was I doing?

Setting myself up for it to hurt worse when this came to an end, that was what.

Pulling back, he canted me a knowing smile. “Don’t freak out on me, darlin’. I see those pretty little feet itching to run.”

“They run from the pain.” The words hitched when I let the admission bleed free.

He brushed the pad of his thumb over the apple of my cheek, his head tipping to the side, his words rough and laden with the promise. “I won’t ever hurt you. No one else is going to, either.”

Trust.

I wanted to give it to him.

All of it.

Ask him to keep me. Stand by me. Fight with me.

My teeth ground hard when I realized the selfishness of that.

He leaned down and pecked a kiss to my forehead. “Let’s get you home.”

Home.

The longing hit me full force.

A smack in the face.

Jud touched my scar like he felt it, too, then he stepped back and took me by the hand, leading me out of his loft and downstairs. He bypassed his bike and opted for his truck. He helped me into the passenger’s seat and leaned up to buckle me in.

I grinned. “I can do that.”

“Now why would you go and do something like that when you can have all of this doin’ it for you?”

He ran his lips up the column of my throat and to my jaw when he said it.

My heart thundered in my chest.

The man didn’t fight fair.

He chuckled low as he shut the door, and the mammoth of a man rounded the front of his truck.

He hopped in. His presence overpowered the cab.

Citrus and spice.

A warm fall night.

The breaking day.

A whisper of new life.

He pushed the button to open the garage, and he started the truck, backed it out, and took to the road.

He kept grinning over at me as we traveled the quiet, sleeping streets.

Slow and sure.

A little cocky.

Too much of everything I hadn’t known I needed.

All while that energy spun and churned and built into a mountain as big as him. A force that couldn’t be conquered or subdued.

I didn’t think a word had been said between us by the time he made the last turn into my neighborhood. He pulled to a stop at the curb, and he left the truck running when he hopped out and came around to my side.

He opened the door to help me out.

Fire streaked up my arm when he took my hand.

But it was the flames that burned, wasn’t it? What left us ash?

I needed to remember.

Remember.

“Thank you.” Apparently, those were the only two words I knew since I couldn’t come up with anything else to say.

The problem was, I couldn’t figure out where we were supposed to go from there. What last night had meant other than…everything.

Maybe that was the most terrifying part of all.

Jud laughed a low sound as he shut the door and leaned back against the metal, those giant arms crossed over his chest. “Oh, it’s my pleasure, darlin’.”

My lips tipped up, and I touched the steady pounding at his chest. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

He just grinned, and I turned and edged up the walkway. Quietly, I slid the key into the lock. I looked back at him as I did.

“Are we still friends, darlin’?” A playful smile kissed his mouth when he asked it.

My smile his elicited was riddled with affection.

“Is that what you want to be?” Somehow, I pulled it off as a tease.

Jud shook his head, that smile so bright on his face, like he didn’t know what to do with me.

Figuring I’d wind up spending the whole day standing there grinning at him like a fool if I didn’t stop this madness, I forced myself to turn the knob.

He waited there with all that arrogant tenderness until I disappeared inside the hushed, sleeping house. I had the door locked behind me before he moved back to his side and climbed into his truck.

Yeah, I knew since I was peering at him through the drape that covered the window, and damn it, if the man didn’t take a piece of my heart with him when he drove away.

I angled farther to the side so I could watch the tail end of his truck disappear down the road.

“Look any closer, and you’re gonna break your neck.”

A squeak peeled out of me, and I whirled around to find Mimi smirking at me from the end of the hall, wearing her favorite muumuu and slippers.

“Mimi, you scared the crap out of me.” Heavy breaths heaved from my lungs.

She waved me off as she lumbered toward the kitchen. “Figured you’d be sneaking in right about now.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “I’m not sneaking. I just didn’t want to wake anyone up.”

She eyed me up and down. “And it looks to me like my girl never went to sleep.”

“Mimi,” I chastised, gaze darting through the empty living room, just in case anyone else could hear.

“Salem,” she shot right back as she edged the rest of the way into the kitchen. She flipped on the light and moved directly for the coffee maker.

“Where are the kids?” I asked as I followed behind.

“They built a fort in my bedroom. Felt like I’d better keep an eye on those two before they ended up packing their bags and trying to walk to the moon. Cute as pie, but woo wee, those imaginations are running wild. Could barely keep up with the two of them.”

Love pressed full at my chest. “She’s a dreamer.”

“Mmhmm…” Mimi mused as she filled the carafe with water then poured it into the machine. “Just like her mother used to be.”

A huff of air left my nose as I sat on the stool at the tiny bar on the opposite side of the counter. “I used to be, didn’t I?”

I’d almost forgotten what that was like.

“You sure did, but you lost those dreams along the way.” She paused, glancing over at me. “More like someone snuffed them out.”

She reached over the counter and tipped up my chin so she could study my face. “But there they are…the spark of something new lighting in those beautiful eyes.”

A frown curled my brow, and I pulled my chin from her fingers and looked down. “I’m not sure I can go there, Mimi.”

“And why’s that, my girl? Why can’t you live? Didn’t Darius say it was time? Isn’t that why we’re here?”

Hope fluttered my heart.

Wings that lapped.

I needed to clip them before they took flight.

“And if I can’t stay? What if I love him, and I have to leave?” The true fear flooded out.

What it always came down to.

I didn’t exist.

I didn’t have a home.

As Mimi stared over at me, belief filled her expression. “And what if you don’t take this chance and you miss out on the most wonderful things in this life, Salem?”

Moisture filled my eyes, and she moved to the fridge and started taking ingredients out to make breakfast. Eggs and bacon. Milk and butter.

I got up, rounded the counter, and moved to the pantry to grab the pancake mix from the top shelf, already in tune with her, knowing that’s what she’d be after next.

She eyed me as I went, and when I hiked up onto my tiptoes to reach it, she mumbled from behind, “Well, at least he knows how to take care of my girl right. Looks like you can barely walk this mornin’.”

On a gasp, I whirled around. “Mimi.”

She cracked a smile, though there was something soft about it, too. “What? Don’t look so shocked. Every woman should be loved up right. I’m just relieved your looker knows what to do.”

“You don’t even know what he looks like,” I pointed out, like it was going to throw her off course.

“Don’t need to. Already can see it in your eyes, right there with those dreams that are flarin’ up. Clear as day, sweet girl.”

Right. Okay.

She could see right through me.

A second later, a commotion clattered from the hall. “Wakey, wakey! I smells the coffee, so you know whats that means, my mimi is gonna be making the bestest breakfast we ever ate.”

Footsteps pounded on the old floors, and a second later, Juni and Gage busted through the archway.

All grins.

Pure sweetness.

Life and beauty and hope.

My chest squeezed.

“Good mornin’, Miss Mimi and Miss Salem. Thank you so very much for letting me spend the night.” Gage took a seat at the little round table off to the side of the bar. “I am starvin’ marvin’. I like my eggs scrambled, please.”

The words spilled from his mouth, manners galore.

The smile he created nearly broke my face.

Juni ran my way and threw her arms around my legs. My precious girl beamed up at me. “I hads the bestest time ever in evers, Mommy. I wants to stay livin’ next door to my best friend forever and ever. No more adventures, unless we comes right back. Is it a deal?”

She bounced when she begged it.

“I love her all the way to the sky,” Gage said, so matter of fact.

My spirit clutched. I touched my daughter’s chin. “I’m so happy you had a great time.” I deflected from answering her question by asking one of my own. “Were you two good for Mimi?”

Juni looked at me like I was crazy. “Um, yes, of course, we followed every single of all the rules. We don’t wants to go gettin’ into trouble and have to go to timeout all the way in Antarctica.”

“Gotta get all the A’s for our whole lives,” Gage added.

Wow.

Mimi chuckled. “My, my, those are some goals.”

“Well, my new mommy said it’s good to get the A’s, but the most important is that we always try our hardest, even if we don’t get ’em all every time, and she said we have to have the grace, even if we’re givin’ it to ourselves. She’s a teacher and the smartest in ever, you know.” The tornado of words whipped from his mouth.

“She sounds like a good mommy,” Mimi said as she took out a skillet.

“The best.” He gave a resolute nod.

So cute.

For so long, Juni and I had been alone, just the two of us.

Just the two of us.

Enough.

But still, there had always been something missing.

And now…my chest pressed full.

Hope. Hope. Hope.

How easy it’d be to fall into it.

Then I was jerking when I heard the light tapping at the front door.

Worry jumped into my bloodstream, and I frowned at Mimi who looked over at me in question.

“Wait right here,” I told the kids, and I edged into the living room and peered through the drape again.

My heart leapt into my throat, confusion and excitement and worry as I twisted the lock and opened the door to the gorgeous man waiting on the other side.

“Jud?”

He stood there with a bunch of flowers in his hands.

So big.

So handsome.

So overwhelming I felt the ground shake, that energy lapping through the cool air. Though this morning, it was different. It caressed and soothed and skimmed.

Soft, slow warmth that wrapped me in comfort.

“Hey there, darlin’. Just thought I’d pop by to make sure you made it home safe last night.”

He winked at me.

My belly flipped.

“Uh—”

“Well, look at that.” Mimi’s voice hit from behind.

Jud smiled. Pure charm. “Ma’am.”

I was pretty sure my mimi could see right through him, too, because the man wasn’t exactly polite last night.

My stomach churned again. Desire and greed. I had the urge to throw my arms around him and hold him tight.

Reckless girl. This was only going to hurt all the more in the end.

But I guessed there was no stopping that destruction because Mimi stepped forward. “Well, what are you waitin’ on, my girl? Invite the man in. Coffee is almost ready. He’s right on time.”

There was no missing the glee in her voice.

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t want to impose,” Jud said, far too innocent.

“Nonsense, you sly dog, get in here. Breakfast is on the stove,” she said.

“Well, if you insist.” He stepped into our small house.

Holy shit. What was happening?

Darius was going to lose his mind.

But apparently all pretenses were off when Jud squeezed my hip as he passed.

His head nearly touched the low ceiling.

If he hadn’t looked like a giant before, there was no mistaking it then. The way his big boots moved across the floor, eating up the space as he made his way to Mimi.

Mimi grinned wide, and Jud was taking a bough of flowers wrapped in ribbon and offering them to her. “Thought I’d pick up a little something for you on the way.”

“Oh my,” she said, her hand on her chest and her eyes skating to me.

Sly dog, was right.

He tossed a grin my way.

“Uncle Jud?! What the heck are you doin’ here?” Gage was pure excitement from the kitchen when he caught sight of his uncle.

“Well, comin’ to see some of my favorite people, of course.”

Juni screeched. “It’s the motorcycle man!”

Jud chuckled, and I felt myself moving that way.

Drawn.

He knelt down on a single knee and handed her one of the bouquets, this sweet little one with glittery hearts on sticks surrounded by tiny pink roses.

“Is those for me?” I was pretty sure Juni swooned.

“They sure are, Juni Bee.”

“Sly dog,” Mimi muttered as I came to a stop by her side. “And holy hell, he is a looker. You are done for, girl.”

“Mimi.” I whispered the warning low.

She laughed and turned her gaze on me. Though it’d gone soft and tender and sure. “Dreams, sweet child, dreams. It’s time to reach out and take some of them for yourself.”