37. Eden

THIRTY-SEVEN

EDEN

Coldness set in.

Bone deep.

It was the kind that caused you to tremble and shake. Your teeth to chatter. No chance of warmth because you were frozen from the inside out.

I sat propped against the kitchen wall while sickness clawed through my system.

Sadness.

Sorrow.

Fear.

Sweet little Gage had made me a cup of tea.

Lukewarm because he wasn’t allowed to get hot water . Then he’d pushed it across the floor up close to me, then mimicked my stance with his back propped to the wall.

He might be the only thing that could melt the iceberg that surrounded me.

Where I was adrift in a barren sea.

Sure to drown.

Destroyed.

Ruined.

Gage threaded his little finger through mine.

I glanced down.

At Harmony’s son.

At the little boy who’d put that bracelet around my wrist. The bracelet that felt like a brand.

My nephew.

How?

And she was gone. Gone. And I was never going to get the chance for her to explain.

Agony clawed up my throat. Talons that cut through skin.

“It’s okay to cry sometimes, Miss Murphy. Don’t you worry, not at all, not one bit. My dad said we all get sad sometimes and it’s natural and we ain’t got nothin’ to be ashamed of.”

Trent.

A blade driven straight through my aching spirit.

How could he…?

That time, I made it to the trash bin, vomiting what was left of the breakfast I’d eaten before Trent had left. Before he’d left to take care of Gage’s mother. Before he’d promised his love.

How?

Pain speared and sliced and cut. Soul deep.

I retched over the bin like I could purge it out.

Or maybe I would finally wake up. Wake up from this nightmare.

A fist banged on the front door.

Heavy and hard.

“Eden, it’s Jud.” The rough voice echoed through the wood and into the kitchen.

I swiped my hand over the back of my mouth and stumbled that way.

Gage darted ahead of me.

I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, could hardly stand.

I struggled with the lock, barely setting it free to let the door drop open.

Jud’s dark eyes took in the room, fixed on me as he let Gage jump into his arms.

“Uncle Jud, hi! You came over! Are we still gonna go to our house? Miss Murphy got sad so maybe we should stop and get some ice cream so she feels better.”

Sorrow filled Jud’s gaze, the man never looking away. The bob of his throat when he swallowed was like a million pounds beneath the fullness of his beard.

“How about you go get your shoes on while I talk to Eden for a minute?”

Gage groaned. “Is that code for no little ears, too, Uncle Jud?”

Sadness billowed from Trent’s brother, though there was affection, too.

It seemed the child’s warmth wasn’t only irresistible to me.

“Yeah, buddy. Need to talk to Eden alone for a minute.”

Gage huffed then sighed. “Oh man, fine.”

Jud set him down and Gage went racing away, and I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest like it might hold me together.

“Eden.” His voice was an apology. His own agony.

My eyes whipped up to meet with his. “She was my sister.”

Shock blanched across his face. “What?”

I choked. “Juna. Gage’s mother. She was my sister.”

“What the fuck, Eden?”

My head shook. “I didn’t know. Not until right now. I was showing Gage pictures of my sister…Harmony…he recognized her.”

Jud reeled, scrubbed a big hand over his face. The words falling from his mouth were shards. “That’s what the attorney said when he called me…Juna…her real name was Harmony.”

My stare became fierce. Hardened with the anger I felt. “Did Trent know? Did he know?”

Did he?

How could he?

I gasped, knees weak, my body swaying to the side.

Jud grabbed me, hugged me close. His entire frame tremored. “No, Eden. No. He didn’t know, either. Promise you, and I promise you he didn’t do this.”

My head shook and tears broke free again. I’d been crying so much, I didn’t know how it was possible they hadn’t run dry. “He…I heard him threaten Gage’s mother. He…hated her. She betrayed him.”

God.

Had she done it again? Had she driven him to this? Did he do it to protect Gage or had he done it to protect himself?

Love and hate.

Love and hate.

They warred.

This pandemonium that fought for a victory that none of us would win.

Because Trent and I? We’d already lost.

My sister had already lost.

My legs lost strength, and I slumped forward. Jud kept me upright.

“She did, Eden. Juna fucked him over in a way most people will never understand. She destroyed his life, was responsible for our brother being killed.”

Torment filled his voice, and Jud shifted, holding me out by the side of the arms. He angled down to get in my face. “And he still let her live, Eden. He let her go, supports her, protects her, after all of that. After the life he’d lived. When killing was the only thing he’d known. He chose to change his life. To live it for his son. To do it right. And unless she had a gun pointed at Gage’s head…it didn’t happen.”

He squeezed tighter. “Tell me you see that in him. Tell me you see him for who he really is, Eden. Not for what he’s done. Because he’s going to need us more than ever.”

My mouth felt dry. So dry. My tongue sticking to the roof. “She was my sister.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m fuckin’ sorry. I promise, I know exactly what that feels like. It’s fucking horrible. Horrible. But I refuse to believe Trent is responsible for it.”

“What’s going to happen?”

His head shook. “I don’t know. I need to take Gage to Logan’s. The attorney is going to meet me at the station in Lamroe so we can get details. Hopefully talk with Trent and find out what went down. Need you to get your things.”

My head shook.

I couldn’t just…go with him.

Not when…

Agony slayed. Razors of it that just kept lashing.

“I need to go see my daddy before he gets the call. I want to be the one to tell him.”

“Eden.”

I stepped back. “I need time, Jud. I don’t understand any of this. How it’s possible Harmony was Juna. How Trent ended up here…”

I trailed off. Couldn’t say it.

With me.

With me.

“It’s not safe for you to be by yourself until we figure out what’s happening.”

What if it was Trent? What if the man responsible is already behind bars? What if I never breathe again?

The thoughts burned through my brain faster than I could process.

I guessed all of it had played out on my face because Jud flinched.

Disappointment dimmed his expression. “If that’s what you want, Eden.”

He stepped away. Offended.

The man was a protector, too.

While that war raged in the middle of me.

How?

What if?

Why?

It hurt. God, it hurt.

“Gage, let’s go,” Jud hollered, and Gage came racing into the living room, dragging in all that light. This little boy who I adored with all my heart.

With every shattered piece.

I knelt in front of him, unable to stand, my hand cradling his precious face. “I love you, sweet boy, no matter what.”

“Of course, you do, Miss Murphy! I’m your favorite! And you’re my dad’s and my favorite, too! We love you all the way to the highest mountain, don’t you know?”

My spirit clutched.

Ached and wept.

Tears slipped free. Hot and fast.

I nodded. “I do know it.”

Did I?

My mind screamed to stop being a fool. That I’d been one since the second I’d walked through the doors of Absolution and fallen prey to that man.

To that dark, wicked, dangerous man.

But my heart, it screamed louder.

So loud, it was deafening.

“ You said I brought your heart back to life, but Eden, you made mine beat for the first time.”

“Get your keys, I’ll follow you to your father’s house.” It wasn’t a question. Jud just widened the door.

“I—”

“Don’t fight me on this, Eden.” He edged forward and hissed under his breath. “My brother fuckin’ loves you, whether you can love him through this or not.”

My nod was jerky, and I lumbered into the kitchen, nudged my feet into flip-flops, and grabbed my bag.

Tried to dry my face.

To focus.

To process.

For it not to hurt so much.

Following Jud and Gage out, I locked the door behind me. My feet dragged along the concrete as I made my way to the rental.

How was I going to tell my daddy? How could I break his heart like this?

Jud started down the walk that led to where he was parked at the street. He helped Gage into the back of a big truck, buckled him into a booster, shut the door, then turned around to look at me.

Freezing me to the spot. His sympathy so fierce.

“I know you want to know how, Eden. I get it. Wish I didn’t. But I do. And I won’t act like I have a clue what the fuck is going down, but the one thing I do know? In the deal Trent made with Juna…or Harmony…or whatever the hell her name is, she insisted that Trent raise Gage here.”

In contemplation, his teeth raked his bottom lip. “I’d thought it was bullshit. She’d given him some story that if she ever had a family, she wanted to raise them here because she’d come here on vacation as a kid. She’d demanded this was where she wanted Gage to live. She was also the one who’d insisted on the school.”

His voice lost its edge, turned soft with understanding. “Thinkin’ now it wasn’t such a coincidence that Gage is in your life. Think she planned it.”

His words decimated.

Slaughtered and devastated.

They also warmed.

This trickle of something through the heartbreak.

Do you remember… Do you remember…

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Please be safe, Eden.”

I climbed into the car and started the engine, cried a thousand more tears as I drove to the house where Harmony and I had grown up.

Where Aaron had lived next door.

Where our momma had gotten sick.

Jud followed close behind.

And I could feel Gage’s little spirit from where they waited on the other side of the street as I stumbled up the pathway and rang the doorbell, unable to just walk in like I normally would do.

My daddy’s face twisted in surprised concern when he opened the door and found me standing there. “Eden?”

“Oh, Daddy. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” I threw myself into his arms, hugged him as fiercely as I could, prayed I could be enough to hold him up. “Harmony’s gone, Daddy. She’s gone.”