28. Trent

TWENTY-EIGHT

TRENT

“Dad, Dad, Dad, wake it up, we got a surprise for you!”

I rolled over just in time to find Gage jumping on the edge of my bed before he flew into a swan dive, coming right for me. No caution because the kid knew I would catch him. Wrap him up. Hold him tight.

“Whoa there,” I said with a groggy laugh, and he giggled as he landed with a thunk against my chest.

I curled my arms around him.

Somehow, this morning, hugging him this way almost felt like it might hold the power to chase away the memories. Ones that haunted my heart and mind. Ones that kept creeping up. Demons thrashing and flailing and vying to be heard when the only thing I wanted to do was permanently silence the atrocities of the man that I’d been back in LA.

Bury him.

Be someone better.

But how could a man like me earn a second chance?

My chest tightened when I felt that presence at the doorway.

Struck by the lash of energy that I now recognized for what it was.

Goodness.

Grace.

I sat up, still holding onto my son as my attention moved that way.

Eden stood just inside my bedroom. So stunning she knocked the breath clean out of my lungs. So kind and full of belief that she had me believing just a little bit, too.

She was holding a tray and had the sweetest smile dancing all over that mouth. Affection and hope all mixed up with the secrets of the way we’d spent the entirety of last night tangled and tied.

“See, Dad, see? We made you breakfast and it might be even better than Uncle Logan’s! What do you think?” Gage grabbed me by the face and forced me to look at him, caramel eyes wide and full of joy.

Kid so fucking cute another stake pierced through my heart. I hugged him tighter and nuzzled my nose into his neck. “I think it smells delicious.”

Gage giggled then wiggled when I tickled him on the side. “See, Miss Murphy! I told you he was gonna love it so much! My dad says breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and since my dad is my most important person, you gotta have both.”

Eden’s smile lifted at the side. Warmth riding out. Filling the room and all those howling places in my soul.

“We definitely have to have both, don’t we?” she said, so tenderly, autumn eyes watching my son like he held a bit of her light. She carried the tray over to the bed, and I scooted Gage off my lap so she could set it on my legs as I sat back against the headboard.

“What’s this about?” I murmured, looking up at the woman who threatened to change everything.

One who I could feel rearranging my insides. A potter reforming all the vile bits.

She reached out and caressed her fingertips down my jaw. Tingles spread. “You deserve for someone to take care of you, too.”

Gage bounced on his knees at my side. “Yup, yup, yup! And you better eat it up way super fast because we gotta go!”

Confused, I swiveled to look at Gage who was grinning like mad, my heart thrumming all over again. “And just where are we going?”

“Church!”

What the fuck?

My attention whipped back to Eden. Eden who just laughed this tinkling sound when she saw the shocked horror scored on my face.

Because no. Just no.

She dipped down and pressed a little kiss to the side of my head, and her mouth came to my ear. “I teach Sunday school, remember?”

Well shit.

“Unless you want me to go by myself?” she asked. Half a tease and one-hundred-percent serious.

“You know I don’t want you going anywhere by yourself.”

“Then you’d better get ready. I don’t want to leave my class waiting or have to explain to my daddy why I didn’t show.”

Then she waltzed across my room toward the bathroom wearing this flowy robe that swished around her gorgeous legs.

While I sat there wondering what the fuck I’d gotten myself into.

I itched. Knee bouncing at warp speed as I incessantly roughed my fingers through my hair where I sat in the last row of chairs at the back of the church sanctuary.

By myself and wondering which second it was gonna be when I caught fire.

Eden and Gage were in the Sunday school class across the hall. A class she’d told me I couldn’t stay in with her. I hadn’t had a background check and any volunteers in the children’s center had to be cleared, not to mention it would draw questions neither of us needed right then.

And I appreciated the effort made to steer the creepers clear of the kids, but what I didn’t appreciate was sitting in a church with Eden’s father at the pulpit and feeling like I was gonna crawl out of my goddamn skin.

Didn’t like it.

Not one bit.

Men like me didn’t belong in a place like this.

Not when Eden’s father was spewing some bullshit about forgiveness. About how everyone deserved it and not one would be refused it. Especially not when the band had played that song my mother used to sing. One that had struck me like a chord. A resonation that I’d long since forgotten.

Because men like me earned no grace.

Now I sat there twitching like a fiend. Watching the clock and looking for the closest exit.

Had to admit the place was different than I expected, though. Like anyone could walk through the door and be welcomed. No judgement. Most everyone was dressed casually. It was small, but not so small that I couldn’t hide at the back.

Maybe that made it all the worse. Fact a demon had slunk in through the doors and no one had noticed.

Or maybe I was coming unglued because Eden had been itching in about as much discomfort as I was right then when we’d pulled into the lot, and she’d confessed that her father didn’t know anything about her working at the club. Instead, she’d told him she’d been waitressing at a diner. She’d whispered he had no clue about us, and she wasn’t sure how to approach it.

That I was the first, the only, after Aaron.

Hated the way she’d flinched when I’d suggested we pretend we didn’t know each other. She’d pinned on this fake, pained smile, nodded, and said, “Yeah, we should do that.”

Like the girl had secretly wanted me to stand up and claim her.

And I was right back to asking how the fuck a man like me had the right to do that? Two of us so at odds. So different. Coming from such different places. Had no right to suck her into my sordid world, and still, I had her there, anyway.

I took it as a reprieve when her father finished the sermon and asked everyone to bow their heads. I dropped mine into my hands and squeezed my eyes shut tight.

The prayer I mumbled was one asking to disappear.

Never should have agreed to this.

Her father finally said, “Amen,” and everyone looked up just as the band started to play another song.

People began to stand.

That was my cue.

Only an old lady who’d been sitting two chairs down from me leaned over and patted me on the back of the hand. “I sure hope to see you again next week.”

She smiled softly, her eyes appraising.

Right.

Okay.

I went back to roughing that same hand through my hair. “I’m sure you will.”

Not happening, but I would say whatever to get out from under this.

I pushed to standing and edged down the row. People were milling around, filling up the doorway. I slithered through like the snake I was.

I was heading straight to Eden’s room, getting my girl and my kid, and getting the hell out of there.

Except someone was suddenly standing in my path.

Smiling and appraising, too.

But different.

Like he felt the evil lurking from within me. Felt it radiating from my soul and seeping from my skin.

Eden’s father.

He was probably close to sixty. Nothing intimidating about him. But still I stood there shaking in my motherfucking boots.

Though his smile was kind, his gaze still assessed, quick to look me up and down, darting to the glaring sins inscribed on my skin.

His head tipped to the side in speculation. “Hello. I’m Gary Murphy. I don’t believe we’ve met.”

He stuck out his hand.

Warily, I slipped mine into his, swallowed down the jagged pill at the base of my throat. “First time here. My son goes to the school, and he wanted to check out Sunday school, so here we are.”

Gritted it through clenched teeth.

He shook my hand, chuckling, and that smile was turning into something relieved. Like he’d been worried he was going to have to throw himself in front of his congregation to protect them from the likes of me.

Nope, just your daughter, Sir.

“That’s great. Who’s your son?”

“Gage Lawson.”

Everything about him brightened. “Gage? Oh, he’s in my daughter’s class. Little spitfire and smart as a whip, that one. You must be proud. He’s a good kid.”

My chest tightened.

I was.

I fucking was.

Just wasn’t proud of the rest.

“Thank you. He amazes me most days. Best part of me.”

The green of his eyes deepened. “Our children always are.”

Wondered how he handled it? Having a daughter who’d done what she’d done. Betrayed him the way Eden had said.

I forced a smile. So brittle it was gonna crack. “It seems so.”

His head angled in question again. “So, you’ve met my daughter? Miss Murphy?”

Miss Murphy.

Eden.

Little Temptress.

The pill in my throat grew spikes. “Just in passing. Feel like I know her since Gage sings her praises every day.”

Awesome.

Lay it on thick.

More of that parental pride swelled in his expression. “She’s the best we have, and I’m not just biased. Just don’t tell any of the other teachers.”

He winked at that, still shaking my hand.

“I’m sure it’s not biased at all,” I said, playing this game the best that I could all while feeling like a piece of trash.

Standing there having tainted his daughter all while thinking about the next time I got to do it again.

“Well, it was really nice to meet you, Mr. Lawson. I hope to see you again. Our doors are always open. Anything you need.” His voice turned emphatic at that. Genuine.

“I appreciate it.”

Before I could get any deeper, I slipped through the crowd that mingled near the doorway and rushed down the hall, anxious to get to Eden and my kid.

Eden and my kid.

I managed to refrain from shoving through, the apprehension building, the feeling that my past was right there, so close to finally catching up. I breathed out in relief when I made it to the door that was propped open, though right inside, the room was blocked off by a high counter and a swinging gate where parents signed the children in and out.

Eden was in the middle of a mass of kids who were dancing and laughing.

And the girl…the girl was laughing, too.

So free.

So good.

All that grace shining around her like a dream.

I moved to the clipboard on the counter where I’d signed him in. I was quick to sign him out.

A second later, Eden edged my way, my son’s hand clutched in hers as she led him over to the gate. She barely brushed the edge of my hand as she passed Gage through.

It didn’t matter if no words were spoken. Those knowing, kind eyes whispered all the things I didn’t fucking know how to say. Everything neither of us should feel.

Jutting my chin, I took Gage’s hand in mine. We’ll be in the car , I mouthed, and the tiniest smile tugged at the edge of her mouth before she turned her attention to a woman who came in behind me.

We stepped out, and immediately, Gage started bouncing along at my side as we walked, kid prattling on about how amazing Sunday school was as I led him out the door to where my car was parked at the back of the lot.

I helped him into his booster in the backseat, and I dropped a kiss to his forehead when he stopped for one second to take a breath.

Overwhelmed, I pressed my nose into his hair and inhaled his sweet scent.

Felt myself spiraling. It was all right there. Nipping at my heels.

My son, my son.

I tried to remember the one reason.

The reason my mother had given me.

The reason Nathan had passed on after that.

Failure after failure.

There wasn’t much I was scared of in my life.

The only exception was the one that drove it all.

I was utterly terrified of making another mistake that would cost someone I loved their life. Wouldn’t survive if I did it again.

I rounded the back of the car and slipped into the front seat. I powered up my phone. It blipped with a message.

I thumbed into the screen.

Jud

Call me.

Anxiety lit. Burning through my insides as I pressed his name to return the call. It rang once before he answered. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Church,” I grunted, glancing at Gage in the backseat where he was reading some little book he’d brought out with him.

Disbelief filled Jud’s laugh. “You’re shittin’ me.”

“Don’t start, man. Just tell me what the hell’s up.”

I could feel his hesitation travel through the line.

“What is it?” I demanded low, trying to keep the bite out of my voice.

Jud sighed. “Word is, Juna was spotted in LA a couple months ago.”

Fury hit me in an instant.

Dread.

Betrayal.

Fear.

“Fuckin’ bitch.” It slipped from between my lips before I could stop it.

“Ridge’s informant didn’t know why she was there or who she was seein’, only that there were rumblings of her name within the Demons, but if she really was there…” Jud trailed off.

Neither of us needed to say it.

If she was there, she’d broken the pact meant to keep us alive. A pact she’d made promising to never return to LA since she was the only one who knew where we were.

Juna was the one who’d led us to Redemption Hills in the first place. Other than the money, she had one stipulation to our deal—I had to raise Gage here. A place she and her family had vacationed when she was a child, and she’d conjured some kind of fairytale idea that one day she’d raise a family here.

Was easy to concede to. A random place to disappear.

“Tell him we need details.” The words grated from my tongue.

“He understands the severity. I wired him some money so he can see who will roll.”

Money always caused people to talk. Secrets confessed for a little dough. Cash the only thing it took for most to sell out.

I’d always wondered when the day would come when the money that I was feeding Juna would no longer be enough, and she’d start sniffing out ways to swindle me in this treacherous deal.

Through the mirror, my gaze found my son. My innocent son who didn’t deserve any of this. A son who should have a mother that loved him rather than one that was willing to sell him.

How fucked up was that shit?

He was doing his best to read to himself, sounding out words below his breath, paying no attention to the conversation I was having with Jud.

“Thank you,” I managed.

“No thanks needed, man. You know that. This is family. This is life .”

That bitter pill finally splintered down the middle. Jagged pieces piercing me through. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to keep it that way.”

“Know you will, brother. Same as me. We’re in this together.”

“My sweet warrior. Watch over your brothers. Take care of them. Love them with all your might.”

My mother’s voice whispered in my ear. Like Jud heard it, too, he muttered what sounded like a warning. “Play it cool and be safe, Trent. Promise me you know this isn’t all on you.”

My grunt was reluctant.

“I’ll take that as your oath.” Then he blew out a sigh. “I’ll call you as soon as I find out more.”

The line went dead.

I glanced at Gage again before I was dialing the number that I only dialed once a year.

A number that made bile rise in my throat and hatred boil in my blood.

It rang and rang before her voice came on the line. “This is Juna. Leave me a message.”

Was sure my teeth were grinding to dust when I hissed, “You better think twice if you’re even thinking about double crossing me because I promise you aren’t gonna like the outcome.”

Nearly jumped out of my skin when the door whipped open in the middle of my leaving it, and Eden slipped into the passenger seat. My attention darted that way in time to catch her face twist in worry.

“Call me as soon as you get this,” I grated before I ended the call and tossed my phone to the console.

“Who was that?” Eden whispered, voice shaking, though she kept it low to keep Gage out of the conversation.

“No one, baby, no one.”