31. Aster

THIRTY-ONE

ASTER

Recklessly in love…

My sweet, wonderful secret.

My defender.

My lover.

My North Star.

My beautiful boy who crash-landed in a foreign land where he didn’t belong.

Maybe it was a rescue mission. Your descent into enemy lines to rescue a prisoner who was being held against her will.

But was I really an outlander if I had been born within the confines of those walls? If that tainted blood was what supplied my life?

But somewhere along the way, it was you who became the supplier. The lifebeat that pounded within me.

You stood for me. Fought for me. Then you loved me beneath the expanse of hidden stars.

The very next day, I crept into my papa’s office, my knees knocking but my chin lifted high. “I won’t marry Jarek, Papa, I won’t,” I’d said.

Papa scoffed, barely glancing my way as he studied the paper in his hand. “Do not start, Aster. You know your purpose. Your role in this family. You will honor it.”

“He’s a bad man.” It came like supplication.

Papa’s brow furled. “We are all bad men, mia vita, but Jarek Urso will respect you. Care for you. Protect you and this family. And one day, when your uncle Antonio and I are gone from this world, he will take the place as the head of this family, and you will sit at his side.”

I took a frantic step forward. “No, Papa, not all are bad.”

The air had shivered as he paused, and he turned to look at me with a face made of stone but with eyes that understood. “Your head has always been full of whimsy, Aster, but Jarek Urso is your fate. I pray you do not act so foolishly that I will have to do something that you and I will both regret.”

That regret was already written in the lines of his expression.

Telling.

A warning.

He told no lies.

I ran from him then.

I should have run away, but instead, I ran to you.

I hid with you.

I wrote you a thousand stars and loved you a million times.

In secret.

In the shadows.

In the rain and in the office.

You gave me your mouth in the library, and I gave you mine beneath your desk.

You took me on the counter in the bathroom and against the wall on the side of the house.

Reckless.

Reckless.

We didn’t care.

Not when it was the only thing that mattered.

But it was in our sacred spot when I told you.

“I’m pregnant.” I was terrified saying it would make it true.

But I’d known it was true. I hadn’t bled in three months.

You froze for a moment before you had me pinned against the grass.

You smiled this brilliant smile that shattered the sky and sent the stars soaring higher than where they hung.

Our own constellation.

“Are you sure?” you’d urged.

I gulped and nodded. “I took two tests.”

“Aster.” It was a rasp of awe, and you pulled me into your arms, so tight I didn’t know how either of us could breathe.

“Aren’t you angry?”

“How could I be angry?”

Manic laughter had bubbled from my mouth. “Because this is going to cause more trouble than either of us have the ability to deal with, Logan. Because I’m a Costa princess and you’re an Iron Owl. Because I’m not even supposed to talk to you. Because I am pledged to another man.”

Because my father will kill you.

That was the one I couldn’t speak.

“We’ll find a way,” you’d promised. “We’ll find a way. I’m going to get you out of this place, Aster, if it’s the last thing I do.”

And that was the promise I was terrified of coming true…