27. Aster

TWENTY-SEVEN

ASTER

“Oh my god, tell me.” Tessa waved wildly at herself as she tipped her head back and drained the rest of the mimosa from her champagne flute.

They were bottomless.

She’d obviously taken it as a challenge.

Or maybe she thought she was training for an Olympic sport.

God knew it was going to take some acrobatics to get her out of here.

We’d been at this pub for two hours, the group laughing and chatting, catching up. The children were spending the day with Mimi and Gretchen who were taking them to the park.

I took a small sip of my mimosa, this ridiculous redness flushing my cheeks while three pairs of eyes stared back at me in anxious anticipation.

I liked these women.

Too much.

Which was why it was really hard to sit there in their midst and pretend I was normal.

“There’s not much to tell.” There, that would appease them.

Tessa smacked her palm onto the table then pointed at me. “You are the worst liar in all the liars. Do you think I don’t see this right here?”

Tessa leaned over the table and drew a big circle around my face.

Eden hid her laughter behind her soda water.

“And what’s it saying, Tessa?” Salem’s voice was droll, a low teasing with a shake of her head as she took a sip of her hot tea.

“Um, it’s saying our beautiful Aster here has mad, crazy secrets, and they’re really juicy, and it is her duty as our new BFF to dish the deets.”

“I’m not sure how she’s supposed to talk at all when you never stop.” Salem sent me a wry grin as if to let me off the hook.

Tessa pressed her hand over her heart. “Don’t make me kick you out of the Fantastic Foursome.”

Eden groaned. “Fantastic Foursome? Really?”

“Um, hello, the Three Amigos just gained another amigo. This trio is now a quartet. That is unless I have to kick the rude one out.”

Tessa sent Salem a pout.

Salem laughed, her black hair swishing around her shoulders. “I’d rather be rude than nosy.”

“As long as Aster dishes, we’ll be just fine,” Tessa said. “So, let’s hear it. Tell me what it’s like with Logan. Is he wild in the sack, or does he not live up to the hype? Just how big is his dick because I accidentally saw Trent’s once and Oh. My. God.”

That time, I choked on my sip of mimosa. A stream of it dribbled out, and I swiped it with the back of my hand.

“Tessa.” Eden scolded it like she was dealing with an unruly teenager.

“Um, what? Don’t sit over there and act like you’re complaining.”

“If you’re going to hang out with us, you’re going to discover this one has zero filter.” Salem jostled her shoulder into Tessa’s.

“I’m getting the sense…” I drew out.

Tessa’s blue eyes widened as if she’d been wronged. “Inquiring minds, people. Help a girl out.”

“And that help she needs is a direct result of her going without an orgasm for five years. At least one she hasn’t given herself.” Salem quirked a pointed brow.

Tessa gasped in offense. “I do have a boyfriend, you know.”

“Who is the biggest douchebag on the face of the planet, and whatever the size of his dick, it wouldn’t matter because the moron has no clue what to do with it.” Salem leaned toward me when she said it.

Apparently, this was a common topic of conversation.

“Karl’s not that bad.”

“Oh, he is that bad.” Eden’s nose curled in distaste.

“Wow, guys, wow. Where is the love?”

Eden giggled. “We’re only saying this because of the love.”

Tessa’s demeanor shifted. “Then maybe you should support the decision I have to make.”

Half of me felt like an outsider who’d stumbled into a private conversation, the other felt as if this was exactly where I belonged.

As if I’d been destined to be here, too. That North Star guiding me to my special place.

I couldn’t help but be completely invested when Eden reached her hand over the table and took Tessa’s. “I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. We just want better for you. We want you to find someone who deserves the amazing person you are, and that person is not Karl.”

Tessa deflated the smallest amount, and she looked away, out into the booths that were mostly vacant at this time of hour.

“It’s not that simple, and you know it.” She wasn’t looking at anyone when she let the whisper free.

“But fighting for what you need? Going after who and what brings you joy?” Eden squeezed her hand tighter. “You’re right. It might not be simple, but it’s worth it, even if it’s messy.”

“Life is always messy, especially when it comes to the things that mean the most to us.” Salem’s gaze shifted to me when she said it.

Unease quivered through me. It felt as if she were making a point to change the focus of the conversation.

I took a shaky sip of my mimosa and wondered why I’d agreed to this. I was a fool for trying to cling to what would never truly belong to me.

But I’d come…come because of Logan’s encouragement. Because he wanted me to be a part of his life.

Because I wanted to be a part of it, too.

Hopelessness sank into my spirit when I thought of it. How hopeless all of this really was.

I mean, what was I thinking, sitting here as if I wouldn’t be dragged back to Los Angeles, one way or another—either by Jarek or my father?

Consigned to a life I didn’t want.

Eden and Tessa both noticed it, but it was Salem’s words that held me like a trap. “I was from LA, you know.”

It stalled me out, and a short breath left my lungs.

Intensity swirled through her expression, and the woman gazed across at me as if she were studying a familiar picture.

My hand was trembling so uncontrollably when I set the flute onto the table that the glass clattered against the wood, barely remaining upright.

I tried to breathe, to steady myself.

What the hell was this? An intervention? Were they stepping in to protect Logan from me? Would I blame them for doing it?

Wanting to protect him was the entire reason I had to guard myself from falling any further than I already had.

“You know me.” I lifted my chin when I said it. I might as well face this head on.

Jud and Trent had most likely let their wives in on my identity, anyway. Why wouldn’t they?

But somehow…somehow who I was felt like an ugly, dirty secret.

I almost choked on the lump that lifted in my throat. That was exactly what I felt like.

Dirty.

So much for the Fantastic Foursome. I really was a fool, looking for something I couldn’t have.

“I do. I know your name,” Salem said.

I wanted to melt. Disintegrate. Turn to vapor. Just disappear, whatever it took.

I looked around for an escape route.

Her head tilted to the side. “But you don’t know me?”

The way she said it had me stilling, and I looked at her closer but without recognition.

“I don’t…” I couldn’t process what she was getting at.

“Carlo Molan. He was my husband.”

Shock impaled me against the chair. The blood drained from my face, and a swell of lightheadedness set me off-kilter.

I knew his name although I’d never met him. Carlo Molan had been directly tied to my father. He’d disappeared years ago. I didn’t know the details, how they worked together or what they shared because my father had kept me as ignorant of faces and names and places as he could.

He’d always shielded me like some kind of precious relic before he’d sent me barefoot and defenseless into a colosseum to be torn apart by raving wolves.

And this woman had come from where I had. My mind spun with possibility. She had a daughter and a child on the way and an amazing husband.

I couldn’t process it.

“I didn’t tell you that to make you uncomfortable, Aster.” Salem leaned my direction. “I told you because I can see you sitting there feeling like you don’t belong. Like you’re not worth it. And when I came here, I was looking for a new beginning. A safe place when I was literally running for mine and my daughter’s lives. And it took courage for me to get here. It was terrifying, but I knew I had no other choice than to fight for it.”

She reached for me then, the same way as Eden had done to Tessa. She curled her hand over the top of mine.

Emotion shivered through my body.

Disquiet butting with the hope.

“And these people…these amazing people…” She glanced at Eden and Tessa before she turned back to me. “They came alongside me to help me do it. I was terrified of trusting them. Of letting them in. I’d believed there was no chance I could stay here. No chance I could make it our home. But I learned quickly it was where we belonged. I won’t pretend like the journey of escaping that life was easy. But I know that I came here for a reason—for a purpose—and I know you have a purpose, too.”

Her words infiltrated the cracks, sank inside to fill me up, and rose to thicken at the base of my throat.

Moisture filled my eyes. I fought it. Fought the tingling and the burn and the urge to reach for the three of them.

Eden touched my forearm, and her voice was soft when she spoke, “We know who you are, Aster, and it doesn’t matter. We’ve all been in horrible situations. We’ve had to fight for our families and for their safety. For the love that found us here. And we want you to know we’ll fight for yours, too.”

Tears leaked free, hot and fast as they streaked down my cheeks. Frantically, I swiped them away. “I don’t…”

Tessa leaned over so she could place her hand over Salem’s who held me tight. Eden set hers on top.

“You do know.”

It was a promise.

An oath.

I felt overcome. Overwhelmed. Held in this belonging.

“See…the Fantastic Foursome. Because you’re all pretty fantastic. Even when you won’t stop giving me crap about Karl.” Tessa’s words were light and soggy.

“Oh, we’ll stop giving you crap when you kick Karl to the curb,” Salem told her.

“Jerks.” Still, Tessa smiled.

“You know you love us.” Eden gave Tessa a goofy smile.

“Mad love. Mad, mad love.” Tessa looked at me. “And we all have mad love for you, Aster. We knew it the second we saw you. The second we saw the way Logan looked at you and the way you looked at him.”

“We’re here for you, whatever you need,” Eden promised. “Because life is so much better when you have friends on your side.”

I choked over a small laugh, not sure how to handle their support.

“I just hate the idea of dragging Logan back into that world,” I admitted.

Salem almost grinned as she sat back. “Those boys are no strangers to trouble. If you don’t bring it, they’re just going to find it somewhere else.”

“Now that is the truth.” Eden nodded.

“So how did you end up back here?” Tessa asked, voice full of the scandal.

I figured I might as well give it to her.

“Logan won me in a bet.”

Eden choked on a shocked laugh, and Tessa’s eyes widened with glee. “Shut your fucking face.”

“It’s the truth.”

Incredulous laughter rolled from Salem, and she lifted her cup. “To destiny. However it brings us to where we belong.”

“Is that what you think it is? Destiny?” My heart beat erratically.

My direction.

My destination.

My North Star.

“I think sometimes life cuts us a break and lands us exactly where we’re supposed to be.”

Her blue eyes gleamed with the promise.

That maybe…maybe that promise was mine.

And right then, I felt it sink in and take hold.

I used a napkin to dry the tracks of tears from my face. They all watched me as if they understood.

As if I weren’t a burden or a threat.

In staunch, unflinching support.

“Now about Logan…” Tessa waggled her brows.

A giggle got free. “You know I haven’t even slept with him since I got back here.”

“Holy shit. That boy either is losing his touch or he is lost for you,” Tessa said.

My phone rang from my purse before I got the chance to answer, and a grin split my face when I pulled it out to see Logan’s name on the screen.

Affection billowed from my spirit.

There was no chance of stopping it.

“Ah, I see who’s lost,” Salem teased.

“I’ll be right back.” I waved my phone a little and stood from the chair so I could dip out of the bar to hear him. Or maybe I just wanted the privacy.

To confess to him what I could feel simmering all around.

This feeling that had bloomed. Or maybe it’d been seeded long ago, and these women had only fed and nourished it so it could grow.

“Hey,” I rushed, my tone a little too excited when I finally stepped outside into the frigid cold and answered his call.

“Aster, where are you?” Panic steeled the sharp cut of Logan’s voice.

Confusion knitted my brow. “I’m at O’Malley’s with everyone. What’s wrong?”

Ferocity radiated from Logan’s being, palpable through the phone. Dread slithered down my spine, as cold as the snow that fell from gray, heavy clouds.

“Just stay put. I’m coming to get you.”

I paced a couple steps down the sidewalk. My head was bowed in worry as I whispered, “What happened?”

Then the air froze in my lungs when I felt the ice-cold hand clamp around the back of my neck. Jarek squeezed tight, his voice a callus that scuffed in my ear. “Hang up the phone, Aster.”

My hand shook.

Fear clouded my vision.

“Aster!” Logan shouted. “Do not fucking move. I will be right there.”

“I said to hang up the phone. You should never have forgotten to do what I say. If you remember correctly, when you don’t abide by my commands, it doesn’t end well in your favor.”

Horror skated across my skin in a slow slide of awareness. It spun with hatred and hurt and this rising determination.

A culmination of who I wanted to be.

Or maybe it was just who I had always been, and I was finally setting her free.

The one thing I knew for certain was I hated him.

I hated him.

The women’s belief from inside filled me up like a fortress of fire.

Magnified the love that Logan had been pouring into me.

The truth that the fight was worth it.

I was worth it.

I’d known I was done with Jarek the morning I’d last spoken to him, but that was the moment I accepted I was finished with it all.

Jarek gripped me by the collar of my jacket and dragged me the few short steps down the sidewalk to an alleyway that broke between the two buildings. He shoved me into it.

I stumbled on the pitted, coarse pavement, trying to get my bearings.

My senses.

My strength.

I stood away from him, my shoulders heaving with the force of my haggard breaths.

With the force of the hope.

With the force of my love.

With the force of this conviction.

Jarek slowly spun me around. Every line in his face was contorted in disgust and loathing. As if I were the one who should be ashamed. It was a face that would be handsome if I didn’t know every gruesome thought behind it.

“Such a whore. You’ve always been, haven’t you? Fucking the one you don’t belong to?” The look on his face intended to hurt. The bastard thought I should feel disgraced?

Screw him.

Lifting my chin, I hissed the words, “It seems you’re mistaken, Jarek. I don’t belong to you. Logan won me, remember? Because of your pathetic bet? Do you remember that? How pathetic you were in the basement? All those men who saw you sweating? Out of control?”

I let the insult wind into my voice. I knew it was a provocation. I knew it would piss him off.

I wanted to.

I wanted to make him feel small and tiny and insignificant.

The way he’d made me feel my entire life.

So I pushed it. “But don’t worry. Logan has taken good care of me.”

“You don’t know a fucking thing,” he spat as a furious hand cracked across my face.

The sharp sting burned my cheek, but I gritted my teeth and refused to cry out. Instead, I lifted my chin again and prepared to fight it out because I was finished being forced into who I didn’t want to be.

That was right when a gun cocked at the back of Jarek’s head.

The ground tremored beneath my feet.

My dark defender.

“The lady is right.”

Logan’s voice was a blade.

Chaos.

My soul’s perfection.

Fury rustled through Jarek’s being in a livid tremor. It rolled through him, head to toe.

Logan grabbed him by the back of the neck the same way as Jarek had grabbed me. He angled him down, bending him at the waist so Jarek was turned away from him.

Completely at his mercy.

I didn’t feel a lot of that resonating from Logan right then.

Logan kept the gun pressed to the base of his skull as he leaned over him, and the warning ground from his mouth, “You can’t stand losing, can you, Jarek? It’s an embarrassment, you know, someone who can’t accept that they’ve lost. That they’re less. That what they want doesn’t count because in the end, they don’t count for anything.”

It was cool, hard rage.

Logan’s scorn was barely held in the violence I could almost visibly see illuminated on his flesh.

“But I guess you’ve always been a pussy, haven’t you? Hitting a woman? She’s right—you’re pathetic.”

Logan tsked like he was annoyed.

I heard it crack with the intent of death.

“She’s for my pleasure.” The words squeezed from between Jarek’s clattering teeth. “She belongs to me, and she’s coming home with me tonight. Where she belongs.”

A sound of pain curled up my throat.

Malachite eyes flashed to me. A promise. He would destroy anyone who believed it. Anyone who intended it. I was his treasure, the same as he was mine.

Logan leaned down so he could let the derision cut at Jarek’s ear. “For your pleasure? No. I give it to her, and she returns it to me. You were the ignorant fuck who wagered your wife. Now she belongs to me.”

“You forget who I am.” Jarek raged, though there was no chance of him breaking free of Logan’s powerful hold.

Jarek’s eyes latched onto me in a clawing of spite.

As if that would bring me to my senses.

Remind me of my place.

I wanted to spit in his face.

Fisting the back of his hair, Logan jerked his head higher.

Jarek writhed and flailed.

Logan leaned closer, and I could barely hear the words above the low strain of aggression. “No. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t forgotten one single thing.”

Logan hissed it near Jarek’s ear. “Not one fucking thing. I think it’s you who has forgotten what my family was bred to do. Our calling card. It was you who came to us when a job needed done. You’d do well to remember it.”

“Fuck you, Logan. She’s mine. She’s always been. You’ll see.”

Logan tightened his hold. “You’re desperate, Jarek. I can smell the stench of it coming off you. I bet you don’t have anything left, do you? The way you came into that game like an arrogant prick? But I saw you sweating under it. What did you do, Jarek? Did you fuck up again? Lose it all? Only whose money was it you were gambling with this time?”

Jarek thrashed. “You have no fucking clue what you’re talking about.”

“I bet you went crawling back on your hands and knees to Aster’s father like the neglected pup you are, didn’t you? Did you beg him to take me out? Try to pin me as a threat to the family? It’s funny, though, isn’t it, that Aster is still here with me? He must finally be catching on to who you really are. Does he know you’re here? Because the last I heard, you aren’t supposed to be.”

“Fuck you.” Hot hatred spilled from Jarek’s mouth. “It’s you who took what he wants. Where is it?”

The stones?

That’s what he was after?

Revulsion clawed at my insides.

Logan shoved him forward.

Jarek stumbled two steps before he tripped and landed on the ground. Logan moved to stand over him, and he kept the gun pointed his direction when he pressed his foot to Jarek’s back to keep him pinned. “Nothing of mine is any concern of yours. Aster no longer belongs to you. My suggestion would be that you quickly drag your sorry ass back to LA before you can’t.”

Then Logan stretched his hand in my direction. “Come on, baby. Let’s get out of here.”

I reached for him.

He entwined our hands.

Energy raced.

Crackled with the connection.

He smiled at me. Soft and slow and knowing as he stepped over Jarek like he was trash.

My dark defender.

My soul’s destination.

My North Star.