20. Logan

TWENTY

LOGAN

“What the fuck is up with you, man?” With my hands stuffed in my pockets, I leaned back against the wall of the elevator and eyed Trent.

Dude stood there wearing black jeans and a worn black leather jacket and unlaced motorcycle boots, trying to hold back a Cheshire smirk from his mouth.

It wasn’t working.

He laughed under his breath and stared at the elevator floor.

A grin taking hold, I shook my head. “You lightweight motherfucker. Are you drunk? Tell me you haven’t gone weak on me.”

He’d shown up at my office two hours ago and insisted we head out to grab a birthday beer or two.

I hadn’t complained much except for the fact I’d been dying to get back to my apartment.

I just wanted to look at her.

See her face.

Be in her space.

Pathetic, much?

Felt like we’d been orbiting each other for the last five days since the night something had changed.

The change had been in me, I imagined.

Like the wounds she’d inflicted no longer fucking mattered. The only thing that did was her.

Still, I’d held back, waiting on her because I was certain the girl hadn’t yet caught up to me.

She wasn’t getting it.

What made things worse was Dean had come back with squat. The only thing he’d found were a few indiscretions that weren’t anything we could take back to Aster’s father, considering most of them had been done in the Costa name.

Chuckling low, Trent scrubbed a palm over his face and cut me a glance. “Not even close, bro. Who do you think I am?”

“Then what the hell is so funny?”

“Nothin’.”

Nothing.

Right.

He laughed again.

“Why are you acting like a giggling schoolgirl with her first crush?”

He shrugged a shoulder with a damned red face.

What the hell?

The elevator dinged open at my floor, and I went striding toward my apartment, trying to hide how anxious I was to get inside. I swung open the door.

“Surprise!”

A crash of voices lifted in the air. Gage and Juni. Eden and Gretchen and poor Baby Kate who’d gotten spooked by the sudden shouting.

Aster.

Aster who was there hovering to the side.

Unsure of where she fit.

My stomach flipped and my chest squeezed tight because she was right where she belonged.

My eyes took in the scene, affection twisting at my mouth.

So damned sweet.

Helium balloons were floating everywhere, streamers strung along the ceiling, and a confetti explosion had laid waste to the room.

Gage and Juni held a big poster board, one of them on each side, their precious faces full of excitement and this crazy amount of joy as they came running for me.

Or maybe that’s just what they hit me with.

Joy.

“Happy birthday, Uncle Logan! Happy birthday! Do you like your surprise?”

“What? This is amazing. How could I not like it when I have the best niece and nephew ever?” I scooped them up the second they got to me, and I squeezed them tight while trying not to crush the poster board they held between them.

Because I did like it.

Fucking loved it, actually.

I loved that it felt like coming home.

Like today mattered when it’d ceased to hold meaning a long-damned time ago.

Trent clapped me on the back before he wound around me and went striding for Eden.

No wonder he’d been acting like a freaking weirdo, and it didn’t have a thing to do with my birthday surprise, either. Dude never could wait to get his greedy paws on his wife.

“Look it, Uncle, look it!” Juni and Gage waved the poster around, but it was up so close I couldn’t read what it said. I pulled back a bit so I could read the words constructed of crayon and child-like handwriting.

Birthday Bash for Logan.

6:30.

My house.

Be there or be a square.

Laughter rumbled. “Tell me you aren’t planning me a party?”

I said it like it was absurd.

Juni threw her little arms in the air, and she screeched like it was the best thing in the world, “Yes! You guessed it!”

Then she got serious. “But you gotta share the party with my baby brother or sister because we’re gonna finds out which one we gotta get. It’s a double trouble party.”

“That sounds like a fine plan to me…as long as we know who’s really the most important one here, of course. I mean, we know who that is, right?”

I squeezed them both again, bouncing them as I did.

They cracked up.

My spirit soared.

“I even got you a present, Uncle!” Gage curled his arms around my neck as I carried them deeper into my apartment.

“No way.”

His sweet eyes rounded. “Yes, way.”

“I can’t even wait to see.”

“Well, you gots to,” Juni piped in. “Party isn’t until six-thirty.”

Laughing, I set them onto their feet.

I moved for Eden, picked her up, and flung her around. “Looking gorgeous today, as ever. Tell me you’ve gotten sick of his grumpy-ass, and you’ve finally seen what’s right in front of you.”

Trent grunted.

I cracked up.

I only did it because Trent was the most possessive bastard I’d ever met.

That shit was hysterical.

Like I’d ever touch his wife.

Maybe I understood it then, though, or maybe subconsciously I had all along, since I was stealing a peek at Aster who still hovered on the outskirts, so damned gorgeous as she shifted on her feet like she felt out of place, like she didn’t belong, when I’d never seen any one person look so right.

And I knew I’d claw a fucker’s eyes out, too.

I should have then.

More than anything, I was sure I was going to have to do it now.

Still, I tried to ignore her and went to Gretchen and tossed a kiss to her temple, then I brushed my fingertip down Kate’s plump, pink cheek. The little, black-eyed girl was the most adorable thing I’d ever seen.

She made this gurgling sound and wrapped her tiny hand around my finger, and I swore I was done for again.

Then I looked up at Aster.

She had backed away. Her arms held over her chest like a cross. Like she couldn’t handle it. Like she was terrified of it.

Still, when her agate gaze tangled with mine, she mouthed, Happy birthday, Logan .

Her pain, her love, her regrets ran along the tether that pulled between us.

Sparks of light.

A prodding of purpose.

A pressure that compelled us in the direction we’d been destined for.

I wanted to go to her. Wrap her up and hold her and kiss the fuck out of her until she no longer wore that look in her eyes.

Gage grabbed me by the hand and gave me a good tug. “You have to hurry and get ready. We only have one hour which is only really super short. You don’t want to be late because being late is bad.”

I sent him a big smile. The kid was a stickler for the rules. “Right. On it.”

“Whew. We did it.” Juni gave him a high five, like they’d been stressed.

Juni looked up at me. “And don’t worry, Uncle, Aster is going to try reallys hard to come as long as she don’t got nothin’ else to do.”

I looked at the woman who swarmed me like a remedy.

Filling holes and cracks and vacancies.

I glanced at Juni.

“Don’t worry, Juni. She’ll be there.”

What if time and distance held no meaning? What if it held no standing or claim? What if we had made a million mistakes and those mistakes led us astray and we got lost and wandered for years?

And what if, after all of it, we ended up at the very same place?

I squeezed Aster’s hand where she hesitated beside me. Her breaths were shallow and her apprehension thick. Vapor puffed from our mouths as we stood in the frozen darkness outside Eden’s modest house that was lit in Christmas lights in one of the older family neighborhoods in Redemption Hills.

“It’s so small.” Most would take it as an insult, but Aster whispered it like wonder.

Like the sight of it stole her breath and filled her heart to overflowing.

I got the sense the girl gazed upon her dream home. One on a poster tacked to a wall or on an inspiration board that would never come true.

Out of touch. Never tangible. A flatlay that could never come to life.

I turned around to face her, still holding onto her hand as I cocked her a grin. “You probably shouldn’t announce that when we get inside. Someone might think it’s rude.”

She choked out a disconcerted laugh. “That’s not what I meant.”

I stepped forward, brushed back a lock of her hair, and tucked it behind her ear before I rested my hand on the side of her face. “I know, Aster.”

She gulped. She was so damned pretty I couldn’t look away. I let the pad of my thumb brush along her cheek. “Eden lived here before she met Trent and Gage,” I explained. “They’re building a larger home just on the outside of town. Jud and Salem are building one on the property next to them.”

From over my shoulder, she looked back at the house. Her voice was a thin mist. “They’re so sweet.”

She blinked while still staring that way. “This afternoon was…”

“Crazy? Chaotic? Wild? I already saw the proof of it explode in my house. Poor Gretchen is going to be battling glitter for the next six months.” I let it go as a tease.

She whispered, “No, Logan. It was wonderful.”

My chest tightened, and I stepped back and gave her a gentle tug. “Just wait until we get inside.”

Aster remained rooted, and her eyes dropped closed. “I’m not sure I should go in there.”

I touched her chin, urging her to look at me. “Why not?”

This time, the laughter that left her was dejected. “I think I’ve intruded on your family enough.”

I gave her a slow smile. “I don’t think you’ve intruded on my family nearly enough.”

I tugged her again.

Her heels dug in. “Logan.”

I edged forward, inhaled her scent, her beauty, her bravery, and I slipped my arm around her waist and tucked her firmly against me. I crossed that invisible barrier we’d been treading for the better part of a week.

She shivered and shook.

My cheek brushed hers, and my mouth went to her ear. “My rules, Aster.”

I didn’t give a fuck if I was playing dirty. Using our agreement to my advantage. Some things just needed to be done.

I soothed the sting by stepping back, taking her hand, and dragging her toward the walkway with a playful smirk lighting my mouth. “Besides, it’s my birthday. You wouldn’t want to go and hurt my feelings by missing my big surprise party, would you? Especially after all the work you put into creating that epic invitation with my niece and nephew?”

“Never.” She almost smiled, almost got swept up in the feeling.

The tease and the play.

The hope and the joy.

Because I could already feel it radiating from the walls of the simple house as Aster hustled along a step behind me as I hauled her toward the door, then I felt it explode when I opened it to the crush of people gathered in the cramped space.

I felt it to my soul when a chorus of voices went up with a loud, “Happy birthday!”

I grinned, pulled my girl up to my side, and slung my arm over her shoulder. “That’s right, the one you’ve all been waiting for is here. Let’s get this party started, baby.”

By the streak of excitement that impaled me right then?

I was sure I was stepping into the best night of my life.

I grinned back at Aster, then I pulled her in with me.