12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

-Alison-

It was hard to recall the last time I had experienced proper rest. When you're accustomed to being on constant guard, sleep often falls low on your list of priorities. Despite waking a few times, plagued by nightmares, something heavy and familiar kept me anchored, soothing me even amidst confusion.

My mind cautioned me to be wary of this comfort, yet another part of me recognized it as a source of solace. Amidst the conflicting voices within me, I found respite, and upon waking in the morning, I didn't spring up or feel the biting sensation of restraints around my wrist. Instead, I sensed a weight lying almost atop me, pressing me into the bed.

My initial instinct was to assume it was my "owner", and I attempted to wriggle free. However, a familiar sound reached my ears as an arm tightened around my waist. Jared's moan had stirred profound sensations within me on numerous occasions. His voice teased something deep within me, and as I turned my head, I beheld his well-known face.

Jared lay sleeping beside me, his cheek resting against my naked upper back. He appeared utterly content lying atop me, and I lowered my head onto the soft mattress, breathing a sigh of relief and momentarily forgetting the events of the previous day. However, as memories flooded back, I began to feel restless, unsure if I truly enjoyed this weight bearing down on me.

Shifting my legs and squirming about, panic began to grip me. Jared groaned in annoyance, his grip tightening around me.

"J-Jared, you're crushing me," I whispered, though not entirely truthful in my protest.

Jared stirred slightly, groaning again before his hold loosened. I thought he might release me, but instead, he pulled me closer, shifting us so we lay on our sides, facing each other. His arm enveloped me once more, the other slipping beneath my body, cocooning me completely. This time, I could fully see him, and my mind couldn't conjure anyone else in his place. Drifting back to sleep, his breathing evened out.

Though Jared slept peacefully, I remained awake, afraid to close my eyes. He looked exactly as I remembered him, albeit a little exhausted. Time seemed irrelevant in that moment, but seeing something so familiar calmed me. Careful not to disturb him, I reached out, running my fingers through his hair, reassuring myself.

He truly was real, and as I leaned closer to bury my nose in his chest, his pleasant scent enveloped me. Clean, with his own distinct aroma, and a hint of the scent of this house. But unmistakably Jared. Realizing this, a sense of peace washed over me, and I intertwined our legs, drawing myself closer to him. I had missed him dearly, craved his presence, and relied on thoughts of him to endure my torture. He had been my escape in the past, and he remained my anchor in the present.

Wrapping my arm around him, I nuzzled my cheek against him, savoring every moment of closeness. Despite the lingering memories of past horrors, being near him quieted my mind, if only for a moment. Pressing kisses to his t-shirt, I traced a path upward until I reached the skin of his neck. Each tender kiss elicited a response from Jared, his grip tightening around me as he let out a long sigh.

"Don't tease me in the morning, my sweet little slut," he murmured, but as he uttered those words, I couldn't help but tense up, a wave of horrible sensations washing over me. The once endearing term now held nothing but cold, icy fear.

I began to squirm in his grip, desperate to break free. Jared sensed my agitation and opened his eyes, only to find me in a state of panic. His hold on me tightened, but I couldn't bear being held in his embrace any longer.

"Let me go!" I hissed, my voice trembling with fear.

"Calm down," he urged.

"No, let me go! I want to be free! Let me go!" I pleaded, my desperation mounting. This time, Jared couldn't maintain his control over me. With a reluctant sigh, he released me, allowing me to scramble away to the other side of the vast bed, where I curled up in the corner, trembling uncontrollably.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him, burying my face in my hands as I attempted to contain the swirling agony within me. The memory of the other man calling me 'slut' echoed painfully in my mind. When Jared had uttered the same word, it hadn't hurt me in the same way. His words had been filled with desire, a desire I had reciprocated, but now everything felt tainted.

Not even the added adjective he had used before the word could erase the unpleasant associations it now held. I sensed Jared shifting beside me, and a sharp curse escaped his lips, causing a pang of guilt to stab at me. I didn't want him to think that he disgusted me.

However, I remained silent, wrapped in my own anguish, trying to calm my racing heart. I felt Jared move again, followed by the sound of footsteps retreating. It hurt to hear him leave, and part of me longed to call him back, to seek solace in his presence. But I lacked the strength to offer him comfort in return.

In that moment, my concerns were solely focused on myself. As the door closed behind him, a wave of remorse washed over me, knowing that I had undoubtedly disappointed Jared. I had never truly resisted his touch before. We had engaged in dark games, but we both understood that my surrender was something we both desired. However, this time, my 'no' had been unequivocal.

The realization weighed heavily on me, and I continued to tremble violently, yearning to rid myself of the haunting memory of the other man's touch. Though my recollections were fragmented, I remembered enough to fuel the small sobs that escaped me.

I attempted to regain control of myself, wiping my cheeks in the hopes of stemming the flow of tears, but they continued unabated. Yet, when something smooth slid over my skin, I felt a wave of confusion wash over me.

Slowly, I lowered my hands, staring at them. That's when I noticed the ring encircling my left ring finger. It was adorned with a black stone, encircled by tiny diamonds. I was perplexed. Where had it come from? My mind raced through possibilities—perhaps from my other owner? But I would have noticed it earlier. Or maybe Astrid had placed it there, but Jared had always expressed disdain for any jewelry given by others. Could Jared have put it on me? And if so, why?

Using my other hand, I cautiously traced a finger over the smooth surface of the black stone. As my focus shifted to the ring, the panic that had gripped me began to subside. I hadn't even realized I had stopped crying until I felt the water drying on my cheeks, leaving my skin tight and raw. Still, I continued to caress the ring, finding solace in its presence, until the door creaked open once more, and I lifted my head to meet Jared's deep green eyes.

He said nothing as he entered, carrying a tray of food to the seating area. I wondered if he intended to eat alone, considering my recent outburst, but instead, he disappeared into the closet. When he returned, he held out a set of clothes, his expression tinged with a hint of guilt. I accepted the attire, exchanging a hesitant glance with him.

"Do... you need help?" he asked, his voice tentative.

I shook my head, and he turned away, affording me the privacy to change. However, as I struggled to dress myself, the extent of my injuries became painfully apparent. I couldn't suppress a groan of discomfort, which drew Jared's attention. He turned back to me, concern etched into his features.

"Are you sure you don't want some help?" he offered, his desire to assist obvious.

"Um, maybe a little," I murmured.

He returned to my side, gently guiding my arms into the hoodie and zipping it up without a trace of teasing. As he pushed aside the covers, I instinctively curled my legs closer, suddenly self-conscious in my nakedness. Jared, however, showed no sign of being deterred. He reached for one of my legs, but I flinched away.

"Fine, you want to do it?" he asked, his frustration evident.

I remained silent, unable to meet his gaze. I felt a mix of anger at his impatience and guilt for my inability to accept his help. Hadn't I requested it? A tense silence lingered between us until Jared walked away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I expected him to leave the room, but instead, he returned with the tray of food, placing it on the bed. Then, he settled at the foot of it, his posture reflecting a sense of defeat.

I turned to observe him, noting the uncertainty in his movements as he rubbed his hands together, seemingly on the verge of a decision.

"Alison, I... don't know how to help you," he confessed, turning his head to reveal the anguish in his eyes. They bore into me with such intensity that I couldn't help but gasp. "I've never been in a position where I had to aid anyone in their recovery. I was always alone in my own struggles. I knew my own boundaries, but I don't know yours, and I fear I'll overstep them because I'm not accustomed to considering them."

His admission left me blinking rapidly, stunned by his vulnerability. I had assumed his frustration stemmed from my reluctance to let him close, but it seemed I had misunderstood.

"You're... scared you'll hurt me?" I whispered, struggling to comprehend.

"Of course," he replied, turning his body away. "It's my fault you ended up where you... It's my fault, and despite having you back, I don't know how to make this easier for you."

I recoiled, taken aback by his unexpected confession.

"I'm so sorry," he continued. "I'll never forgive myself for the dangers I brought you into, but I swear I'll avenge you."

"Avenge me?" I echoed, bewildered by his promise.

"Yes, avenge you. And once I've removed all obstacles from our lives, it'll just be you and me," he vowed.

"Like... the last two people on earth?"

He offered a slight smile. "Something like that. I'll take us away from here, ensure nothing can follow us. It truly will be just you and me."

His words left me speechless, yet they resonated with the future he had hinted at before everything fell apart. Back then, I had hesitated, but now, with nothing left to lose, I found myself clinging to the one stable thing remaining—him. I glanced down at the ring on my finger before holding it up.

"Is... this yours?" I asked, seeking clarity.

"It's yours," he affirmed.

A small smile tugged at my lips as I met his gaze. "I meant, did you put this on me?"

He nodded.

"Why?" I inquired, needing to understand.

"I think that's obvious," he replied.

Shaking my head, I slid the ring off, prompting an irritated sound from him as he moved closer.

"Don't take it off," he ordered, reaching out to grasp my hand, but stopping short of touching me.

However, I wasn't refusing him. Instead, I held out the ring to him, meeting his furious gaze.

"Ask me," I persisted.

"What?" he stammered, taken aback by my demand.

"Ask me," I repeated, offering him the ring once more.

He seemed momentarily stunned, unaccustomed to having to ask for anything from me. Slowly, his fingers closed around the ring, a silent acknowledgment of his surrender. Our skin brushed against each other briefly, and with a newfound sense of peace, I settled back onto the bed, waiting for him to pose the question that would solidify our bond. Sitting there, I couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement, and a small smile crept across his lips as he finally turned his focus back to me.

"Well?" I teased, anticipation bubbling within me.

Jared shook his head, a gesture that puzzled me until he gently took my hand and slid the ring back onto my finger.

"You didn't ask me," I pointed out.

"I asked," he insisted.

"When?"

"Back at your house. I told you there was no way for you to escape me," he reminded me.

"That wasn't exactly asking," I countered, feeling a flicker of our old banter returning.

"I know," he admitted, still holding my hand in his.

Our eyes met once more, and in that moment, I realized that it didn't matter whether he had formally asked me or not. I was still his. However, his smile gradually faded as he looked down at our joined hands, reluctantly releasing me.

"Sorry, I know my touch scares you right now," he murmured, pulling back.

"What?" I questioned, puzzled by his statement.

"You… grew scared," he clarified, gesturing toward where we had been lying together.

I followed his gaze, a realization dawning on me. It seemed Jared had misinterpreted my reaction.

"It's… not your touch," I confessed, meeting his gaze once more. "It's… what you called me."

Jared furrowed his brow, evidently confused by my words, and the mere thought of it brought tears to my eyes.

"He… said it… too," I choked out, my gaze dropping to the ring on my finger, finding solace in its presence.

"What?" he pressed, but I shook my head, unable to utter the degrading word again.

"Just… don't call me that again. Ever," I pleaded, my voice barely above a whisper.

Jared cursed softly, and I couldn't help but wonder if his frustration was directed partly at me. Yet, I felt the bed shift as Jared moved closer, and I watched as he positioned himself in front of me. Slowly, he reached out, his hand hovering near my cheek before making contact. I gasped softly as his touch sent pleasant shivers down my spine, and I leaned into his caress.

"You're so warm," I murmured, savoring the comforting sensation.

Jared shifted again, and I realized he intended to sit behind me. I scooted forward, making space for him, and soon his arms enveloped me, pulling me back against his chest. I sighed contentedly, grateful that his touch no longer felt overwhelming but rather like returning home. I clung to one of his arms as he held up a plate of food in front of me.

"Come, eat a little," he urged.

I sighed again, accepting the food and beginning to eat as he continued to stroke my hair, gradually easing the tension in my stomach.

"I won't use that name again," he vowed, and I nodded in acceptance as his warm breath tickled my ear. I turned my head to look at him.

"How about I just call you mine?" he teased, eliciting a slight smile from me.

"As if I could say no," I whispered, hearing the low chuckle that escaped him. It felt like a small victory to engage in light banter with him, a sign that we were slowly returning to normalcy.