1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

-Jared-

I gazed at the news streaming across the screen before me. It had only been two weeks, yet everywhere I turned, conversations revolved around the harrowing incident at Alison's childhood home. She was now the focal point of law enforcement's search efforts as a missing person. Seeing her image on the screen ignited a burning anger within me.

The volume was low. Every sound seemed to grate on my nerves these days. I paced like a caged animal, feeling helpless. I attempted countless times to reach out to Vince, visiting some of the places and hotels he owned, but it came as no surprise that he remained elusive. He had deliberately distanced himself from me, leaving me in charge after deeming Alison as my vulnerability.

With a heavy sigh, I sank onto the couch behind me, covering my face as the images continued to flash on the TV screen. While the authorities hadn't yet disclosed the exact circumstances surrounding Shane's and his family's deaths, leaked information hinted at a darker truth. However, amidst the chaos of searching for Alison and cleaning up the aftermath of Vince's actions and those who abetted him, details were kept under wraps.

Despite having countless nights and days to dwell on it, I still struggled to comprehend why Vince would do this to me, knowing the profound connection I shared with Alison. I understood his motives. He believed severing her from my life was the key for me to move forward. Yet, he hadn't taken her life. He had simply spirited her away, leaving a glimmer of hope that I might rescue her. I questioned whether his actions were driven by punishment, a lesson, or perhaps a test to gauge my resolve.

However, Vince failed to see or understand the depth of the connection between Alison and me. The hold she had over me wasn't merely an obsession or addiction, as he perceived it. I had come to realize that our bond was far more profound. It transcended conventional ideas of love. This inexplicable, unhealthy magnetic pull between us wasn't something I'd find in any romantic novel. Yet, it was the reality of our existence, the way our minds operated.

Alison and I emerged from disparate, shadowy worlds, each haunted by its own demons. It was the shared agony and fear that drew us together, even when we couldn't articulate our own struggles. While I wasn't one to entertain beliefs in higher powers, I couldn't help but wonder at the inexplicable synchronicity of our lives. Why were our paths constantly intertwined?

I rubbed my eyes and glanced at the object resting beside me on the couch. It was a large drawing of Alison. Unlike previous sketches born out of hatred, this one was different. It was an attempt to capture her essence, fueled not by animosity but by a fear of forgetting her. As I picked up the drawing, I realized it was only halfway colored. Each attempt to breathe life into the image filled me with a seething anger that threatened to shatter the pencil in my hand.

I wrestled with the conflicting emotions swirling within me, grappling with the daunting task of immortalizing Alison's likeness. It was as though the very act of drawing her brought forth a tumultuous storm of feelings—love, longing, frustration, and despair—all vying for dominance. Yet, despite the chaos raging within, I pressed on, driven by an unyielding determination to preserve her memory, to ensure that she remained etched in my mind, no matter the cost.

I couldn't wait for the opportunity to exact revenge on those accountable for Alison's disappearance, including Astrid's cousins. Yet, since striking a deal with Astrid, our collaboration had reached unprecedented levels of effectiveness. Given my willingness to bestow upon her full authority, she no longer grated on my nerves. However, her progress was sluggish.

I rose from the couch, clad only in pants, and left my room. Despite the late hour, I knew she would still be awake. I located the office allocated to me, only to find Astrid occupying the prominent chair, diligently sifting through clues on the computer. While her newfound influence unsettled her father, she remained undeterred.

We had distanced ourselves from the family, establishing two separate factions. As for Vince's whereabouts, they remained a mystery.

"Hey," I greeted, rapping lightly on the open door.

Astrid looked up from her screen, a smile gracing her lips. "Still up?"

"You know I haven't been sleeping much lately," I replied.

"You should try. We both know it's not likely that we will find Alison in this country. Chances are, we'll have to venture into some seedy locale where 50 men a day—"

"Finish that thought, Astrid, and see what happens," I interjected, a warning edge to my tone.

She maintained her smile, reclining in her seat. "You understand there's a distinct possibility that Alison won't return as the woman you remember. She may not even come back intact. I'm simply preparing you for the worst."

I sighed, allowing my weight to press against the doorframe, attempting to divert my thoughts from the past two weeks—a blur of uncertainty. Yet, I doubted Alison would emerge unscathed from whatever ordeal she faced.

I groaned, attempting to banish the haunting images from my mind. I had endured years of abuse, but could Alison withstand such torment? While I knew of Kyle's atrocities, surviving one ordeal didn't guarantee resilience to endure a second.

"I don't need your preparation. I'm well aware of the potential outcomes," I murmured.

"Yet you can barely confront them," Astrid observed.

"Because I'll confront them once Alison is safe," I snapped, fixing her with a steely glare.

"And then what? My father isn't oblivious. He's aware of our activities. Technically, I'm betraying him," she countered.

"Then why aid me?" I challenged, prompting a smile from Astrid.

"I do enjoy a little danger," she confessed.

"Astrid..."

"I'm testing your resolve, Jared. Is she still worth the risk?"

"I thought you wanted to lead," I deflected, sidestepping her question.

"Of course."

"But then why question if it's worth it?"

"I don't want you to suddenly change your mind if, at some point, we find her in pieces or shattered beyond redemption. She might not be the woman you remember," she reminded me, gripping the armrests firmly. "And I want the seat, regardless of whether she has been with over 1000 men by now."

"Astrid!" I growled, and she raised her hands in surrender.

"Just answer," she demanded.

"It's worth it!" I informed her firmly. "Now, work faster!"

"I'm working, but it's challenging to navigate around my father. He's still the man in charge."

"So, you're saying we have no help at all?"

"I didn't say that. He doesn't want others to know about our inner conflicts, which enemies could exploit. Many still work for us and are ready to follow our orders because we're still ‘family'," she explained.

"Then what's taking so long?" I asked, frustration creeping into my voice.

"You must know that Vince and my father covered up all their tracks. It's like searching in the dark with no direction at all."

"You knew what they were up to! You knew they were going to attack!"

"Yes, that's what I knew, but they didn't provide me with much detail," she snapped.

"Then maybe you aren't so useful after all," I pointed out, and she narrowed her eyes at me.

"Oh, then shall I let you take over? Vince left his empire to you, but I'm guessing there are many skills you haven't yet been taught by him, considering how much time you spent focused on Alison," she retorted.

She wasn't wrong. While I had carried out the jobs Vince assigned to me, there were many things he could do that I couldn't.

"There has to be something—a hint, a clue of some sort," I sighed.

"That's what I'm searching for," she said, her tone softening.

"Or maybe you're not. Maybe you're working on your own little empire."

"Jared, if that were the case, you would throw me out of this seat before I could say a word. I almost have everything I want, and I'm not going to ruin the opportunity because I didn't want to give you your toy back. I will find her. Someone, somewhere, knows something, and I will figure out how to get to them."

"You think your cousins know something?" I asked.

"Oh, they definitely do. Most likely Finn, but they are under my father's protection right now, and I bet those pups aren't straying far from his side."

"Use me," I said, and she looked at me, puzzled.

"What?"

"Send me after them. Give me an opening."

"Jared, as we discussed earlier, you're clearly on edge. You haven't slept or eaten properly. This doesn't exactly position you as a master soldier," she countered.

"Astrid, I need something to do. Let me hunt those three down and get whatever knowledge I can out of them. There has to be a moment where one of them is at least vulnerable," I suggested, and Astrid leaned back in her seat, contemplating it.

She folded her hands, tapping her fingers against each other, and I could see her mind working fast.

"Well, considering we have gone a bit rogue, I bet my father won't be inviting us over any time soon or for any dinners. But…"

"But?" I asked, leaning in.

"You know the club that Shane and the others used in the city?"

I nodded. "We were going to destroy the place."

"Well, I did hear something, but it's rumors, not certainty."

"What did you hear?"

"I heard they might have… kept it," she explained.

"Trafficking?"

"I'm unsure. I don't believe they bring women in from another the country, but they have continued its services."

"Meaning?"

"Escorts, prostitutes, strippers, and so on. But they get paid," she explained.

"Oh, really? Then I'm sure it's all fine!" I retorted sarcastically, making her roll her eyes. "Why the fuck would they keep that hole?"

"Because it's good business. Sex sells, and it's a good place for people to lose their senses, meaning drugs are being sold there too," she informed me.

"Get drugged and get your cock sucked," I snarled, feeling the anger boil inside me.

"Would be a good slogan," she chuckled darkly.

"Why haven't you checked it out?" I asked, trying to keep my temper in check.

"Because we won't find Alison there."

"You don't fucking know that."

"You really think they would make it that easy? You really think they would just put Alison right on display in the very club you know how to sneak into?" she countered, making me realize the absurdity of such a notion.

I sighed, averting my gaze. It would indeed be too convenient if they kept Alison in the club. But that didn't mean it wasn't worth investigating.

"Does one of your cousins keep the place running?" I inquired.

"Possibly. I'm not entirely certain, but it's a possibility. Or perhaps they simply frequent the establishment when they wish to unwind," she explained.

"In that case, I'm going to check it out."

"Jared," she called out before I turned away.

"Yes?"

"Sleep. Eat. Then we can discuss the plan further."

"Astrid, while I may have given the seat to you, my actions do not need your approval," I retorted.

"You men truly have such thick skulls!" she exclaimed, rising from her seat and glaring at me. "Listen, Jared, you're not an idiot. If you scare these individuals but fail to capture them, I can assure you, your precious Alison will be cut into pieces, if she hasn't been already. That lock of her hair you keep by your bed will be the least bloody piece you'll have left to cling to."

I stared at her in shock, taken aback by her knowledge of the lock of hair I cherished. It was the only thing that sustained my hope of finding Alison alive.

"You need to be at your best," she continued. "Therefore, I can't allow you to go out when you're exhausted and your senses are working overtime. If you rest tonight and eat some food, we can discuss this tomorrow."

"But then it's one more day where Alison might endure…" I began.

"It might be years if you don't find a way to calm yourself. I cannot have you jeopardize this because of impulsiveness. I know you want her back, but I assure you, despite your lack of trust in me, I get results."

It was disconcerting to see this more serious side of Astrid. I was still adjusting to it, realizing that now that she was finally achieving what she had always aspired to, she was no longer in the mood for games.

"Do you understand?" she asked.

I nodded slowly. "I will eat and try to get some sleep... or at least attempt to."

"Good. Let's talk in the morning."

As I turned to leave, she called out to me again, her expression now even more solemn.

"You don't have to make a decision now, but I want you to consider, whenever you have the time, how involved you want to be in this matter," she informed me, causing me to furrow my brow as I pondered her message. Then, my gaze fell to her flat stomach, and the realization dawned on me.

"I don't want—"

"Don't answer now," she advised. "While I can't claim either of us to be the epitome of perfect parents, children do have a way of altering perspectives. Sometimes we're unaware of what we truly desire until they arrive. So, I urge you not to respond hastily, especially not in your current state of mind."

"If you're aware of my state of mind, then why broach the subject?" I inquired.

"Because I want to afford you the opportunity to ponder it thoroughly. It might be your only chance to—"

"Astrid, when people speak of ‘it might be my only chance', it suggests desire. The yearn to become something, to be significant to someone. I never wished for a child to inherit my trauma. More importantly, I'm already significant to someone, and she's the only one I need to matter to," I clarified, prompting a nod from Astrid.

"I understand. I won't pressure you into anything. I'm simply offering you the chance—"

"Once again, ‘chance'. It's not a chance. It was my own weakness that compelled me to entertain the notion because I felt obligated to strengthen our bond. But whatever is growing within you, I feel no connection to it, and I should have realized I never would," I admitted.

"Sometimes, people's feelings change once they meet their child," Astrid suggested.

"Yeah? Do you know that sometimes mothers also commit the unthinkable after giving birth?" I countered, noticing Astrid's widened eyes. "Children don't inherently alter who you are. You transform yourself for them because you understand the responsibility to become what they need. But they're not magical beings, and to those who don't desire them, they're certainly not a blessing. Children deserve parents who can love them unconditionally, without hidden agendas. They deserve parents who want them without expecting anything in return. I can't be that parent. I don't want to be that parent, because all I'd see when I look at them is my own shortcomings."

I turned away again, and Astrid posed another question, "Would you feel the same if you could impregnate Alison?"

Pausing with my back to Astrid, I grappled with how to answer. I couldn't even discern the truth within myself. But I couldn't afford to dwell on it, as doing so would only intensify my longing for Alison. I needed to redirect my focus toward retrieving her, rather than indulging in fantasies of a shared future with a child we might conceive. It was time to confront reality.

With determination, I walked away, resolute in reclaiming what had been stolen from me.