Chapter Five

Esther woke with a start, her eyes flying open as the morning sun filtered through the canvas tent. For a moment, Esther felt disoriented and unsure of her whereabouts. Then it all came flooding back.

The men grabbing her outside the church and bringing her to their camp. Whit appearing out of nowhere and announcing they were married. She was so angry and scared she couldn't think of anything to do but attack him. Then there was the kiss!

At the mercantile, he told her exactly what he would do if she spoke out of turn. She knew now those were not just empty words or exaggerations.

"I'm going to kiss you so hard all thoughts will go right out of your head."

When he pulled her close and kissed her passionately, she couldn't think. She forgot everything but being in his arms. She could still feel the imprint of Whit's lips on hers. The firm pressure had awakened such foreign feelings within her. A flush rose on her cheeks as she recalled the way he had held her close, his muscular arms encircling her as desire flared between them.

She knew it was sinful to harbor such thoughts about a man she barely knew, especially one who was part of the outlaw gang which dragged her from her home against her will. And yet... when she looked into his piercing blue eyes, she sensed a goodness in him which called to her heart. There was more to this complex man than met the eye.

Esther sighed deeply as she rose from the thin bedroll. Though she was still angry at being taken from her home, part of her was thrilled at the thought of seeing Whit again. She chided herself for such foolish notions. He was an outlaw, no matter if he had shown her unexpected kindness. She must not lose herself to girlish fancies, not when her virtue and reputation were at stake.

Whit was already up and gone, his side of the makeshift bed cold. Outside, she could hear the camp coming to life. A horse whickered and snorted as men's gruff voices called to each other. Pots and pans clanged as someone prepared breakfast over the crackling fire. The aroma of fresh coffee drifting through the morning air finally pulled her from the tent and she crawled out, dragging her paletot behind her. As she stood, shaking out the wrinkles in her rumpled skirt, she sent up a silent prayer for guidance.

As she approached the fire, she recognized the young man who fixed a plate of beans for Whit, slicing strips of beef into a large skillet.

"Morning, ma'am," he said, standing as he wiped the knife off on his shirt. "Coffee?"

"Thank you. I need to relieve myself first."

"Don't go too far."

"Austin, was it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

She looked around the camp. "Where's Whit?"

"He rode out early this morning."

Esther tried not to be concerned he would leave her alone, but she trusted Whit when he said he would protect her. "All right. I'll be back."

"Use those bushes over there," Austin said, pointing to a clump of yew bushes at the edge of the clearing. "Make sure I can see you."

She lifted her skirt and strode to the bushes, taking in everything she could. She didn't see any rock formations, houses, or other identifying landmarks which would tell her where they were.

The forest was silent, the only sound the rustling of leaves in the gentle breeze and rushing water. She knew they were somewhere near the river. If she could get to it, she could follow the water's edge and find help.

Taking a deep breath, she looked around to see Austin watching her. She gave a little wave and disappeared behind the bushes, making sure her head was where he could see her.

Esther finished her business behind the bushes and made her way back to the campfire. The scent of coffee and sizzling meat made her stomach rumble, reminding her she hadn't eaten since yesterday. She would need her strength if she was going to make a run through the woods.

Maybe she could even steal a horse.

"Here you go, ma'am," Austin said, handing her a tin plate with beef, beans, and biscuits.

She ate slowly, watching the men go about their tasks around the camp. Though they were outlaws, they seemed like ordinary men, laughing and joking with each other. All except for the one called Snake. His cold eyes followed her every move, making Esther shiver under his icy stare.

"When will Whit be back?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Austin shrugged as he turned the sizzling meat in the pan. "Hard to say with him. Could be an hour, could be at sundown."

She nodded, disappointment sinking in her chest. After finishing her meal, she handed her plate back to Austin. "Do you do all the cooking?"

"For now. Brodie said Ma was bringing someone to help with the chores, and then I can start riding."

"Hmm." Esther wondered if the someone was her. "You look really young to be an outlaw."

Austin puffed out his chest. "I'm sixteen."

She studied the eager young man before her. Sixteen was still so young, barely more than a boy. What circumstances had led him to fall in with Brodie's gang?

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up here?" she ventured gently.

His face clouded over, his eyes dropping to stare at the ground. "My pa got killed last year. Shot down by a no-good card cheat after winning big at the saloon. Ma couldn't manage the farm on her own, so we lost it. I had to take care of her and my sisters."

Esther felt a pang of sympathy for the boy. He was just trying to help his family, misguided as he was. She thought of her own loving parents and her warm bed, a world away from this rough camp.

"There are always better choices, Austin," she whispered. "You seem like a dutiful son. You don't have to go down this path."

Austin shook his head, his jaw tightening. "It ain't that simple. Brodie gave us food and shelter when we had nothing. I owe him."

"Don't be putting ideas in the boy's head now," Snake said, his voice low and dangerous as he strode over. Esther shrank back under his menacing glare but refused to look away.

Before the confrontation could escalate further, the thunder of approaching hooves drew everyone's attention. A horse burst into the clearing, its rider leaning low over the galloping animal. Esther's breath caught as she recognized Whit's muscular form astride the stallion. His jaw clenched, eyes blazing, as he reined the horse to a stop in the center of camp.

"Where's Brodie?" he demanded. When no one answered right away, he swung himself down and strode through the camp, his piercing eyes searching for Brodie. Esther watched him, her heart quickening at his sudden return. His jaw was tight, his movements swift and purposeful. Something had happened out there this morning. Something which put the stormy look in his eyes.

"Where is he?" Whit barked again, grabbing a man by the shirt.

The man sputtered in fear. "He... he rode out right after you left."

Whit released the man and began pacing, raking a hand through his dark hair.

Esther longed to comfort him, but she held back, unsure of her place among these dangerous men. She watched as he raked his hand through his dark hair in frustration, his piercing blue eyes filled with an intensity which both thrilled and frightened her.

Just then, the thunder of approaching hooves drew everyone's attention once more. A lone rider galloped into the camp; his horse was lathered in sweat. Esther recognized him as one of Brodie's men.

"Boss is coming, and he ain't happy," the man said breathlessly as he swung down from his horse. "Someone shot the youngest Richards brother, Earl, last night over at Junction Flats."

A murmur went through the men, and Esther saw Whit's jaw clench even harder. Did he shoot Brodie's brother?

She knew she needed to do something, as she didn't want to be caught in the crossfire if Brodie came back to camp looking for a reckoning.

Looking around, she spotted a stack of pots and dishes near the remains of last night's fire.

"Let me help you clean up, Austin," she offered, picking up the stack of dishes and heading toward the bushes and the rushing water she heard beyond the trees.

"Where are you going?" Snake asked, grabbing her by the arm.

"Let go of me!" Esther flinched as Snake's grip tightened on her arm, dropping the dishes as she tried to escape his grasp. She glanced around desperately, hoping one of the other men would intervene, but they all looked away uneasily.

All except Whit. In two swift strides, he was at Esther's side, his jaw clenched in barely contained fury.

"Let her go," he ordered Snake in a low, dangerous tone. When Snake didn't immediately comply, Whit seized the man's arm in a bruising grip. "I said, let her go. Now."

With a glare, Snake released Esther. She quickly stepped back, putting distance between herself and the volatile man. Her heart pounded as she stroked her sore arm. She hadn't realized how strong Snake was until he'd grabbed her. The man's strength was frightening.

"You touch her again, and you'll be on the receiving end of Old Henry. You understand me?" Whit said evenly, his piercing eyes never leaving Snake.

Snake started walking backwards. "Brodie asked me to watch her on account of Ma arriving. Where have you been?"

"None of your business. If Brodie wanted you to know, he would have told you himself." Turning to Austin, Whit pointed to the dishes on the ground. "Pick those up and help Esther get them cleaned up. From now on, she'll do the cooking and cleaning. We'll need another rider if Earl is down."

Esther curled her fingers, but the temptation was too strong. She reached for the arm of his leather coat. "Whit..."

"Don't question me, Esther. Your place is to feed the men and make sure there is always hot coffee on the fire."

Esther bit her lip, swallowing back the sharp retort on the tip of her tongue. As much as it grated on her pride to be given such menial tasks, she knew she was in no position to argue. Not if she wanted to stay safe and eventually escape from this camp.

Esther's heart sank as Whit issued his orders to the men around the fire to prepare for Brodie's return.

"Yes, sir," she mumbled to his back, as she bent to pick up the fallen dishes, her cheeks flaming in embarrassment and disappointment.

Perhaps she could slip away while washing up at the creek. They would watch her closely, at least at first. She needed to gain their trust, make them see her as meek and compliant.

Austin quickly moved to help her gather the tin plates and cups scattered across the dusty ground.

"I'm really sorry, ma'am," the boy mumbled. "Whit's just trying to protect you best he can. Snake is... well, he ain't right in the head. We all steer clear of him when we can."

Esther nodded, keeping her eyes downcast as she stacked dishes in her arms. She didn't trust herself to speak. Her throat felt tight with emotions she couldn't fully process. Anger flamed inside her at being treated like a servant and sadness over Whit's apparent indifference. She couldn't put aside the fear of the dangerous men surrounding her.

As Esther gazed into the dwindling fire, she couldn't help but wonder how long she had been living with the outlaws. Time had become a blur in this new, dangerous world she found herself in.

Ma Richards and four mysterious strangers only added to her unease. The group consisted of three outlaws who disappeared alongside Brodie, as well as a woman named Libby, who opted to remain with Ma and engage in flirtatious behavior toward the cowboys in the camp.

Brodie called them cousins, but Esther couldn't shake off the feeling they were hiding something. To make matters worse, Whit's promotion as Brodie's second-in-command meant she saw him even less now.

The men took turns watching her. Their hardened faces softened slightly as they patted her head like a little girl, but she knew it was just a guise to keep her under control.

If she could escape, where would she run to? The gang had moved to a new hideout, deeper in the woods. They blindfolded Esther, tying her hands together before leading her horse to the new location. She was completely helpless and disoriented by the time they arrived at their new hiding place.

Mostly, Whit disappointed her. It didn't appear he was even trying to return her back home. She couldn't fathom why he hadn't tried to contact her parents or take her home, and each passing day only deepened her confusion and unease.

She resented not being able to spend as much time with him, and when he came to camp, she baited Whit every chance she could, hoping he would kiss her senseless again.

"Esther," called a sturdy voice, breaking her from her thoughts. Ma Richards approached, her heavy boots crunching against the dirt. Libby trailed behind, resembling a graceful doe with her long dark hair and slender frame. Her green dress fluttered around her ankles like a whispering breeze.

"Evening, Ma," Esther replied softly. She tried calling the older woman Mrs. Richards, but everyone called her Ma. Esther complied not to draw attention from the rest of the gang.

"Thought you might like some company," Ma said, settling down beside her on a log. Libby followed suit, her eyes darting around the camp smiling as the men stared at her.

"Thank you," Esther murmured, her gaze returning to the fire, her fingers twisting nervously in the folds of her skirt. "I was just taking a break from drying the dishes."

"You were thinking about your man," Ma chuckled. "I don't blame you there."

Esther quickly picked up a dish and dried it with a sack cloth before adding it to the stack on a log. "I noticed Whit and Tom haven't come back."

"They had some business in town."

Esther's ears perked up. "Town? Are we close to town?"

Ma sighed, her breath stirring the gray strands of hair escaping her bonnet. "It's a fair ride, but don't you worry yourself none. You are perfectly safe here. My boys will protect you. Libby, grab a towel and help Esther dry the last of those dishes."

"I served everyone dinner. My work is done." She turned her head to the fire. "I might see what else I can do tonight."

"After the dishes are dry, you can go have your fun."

Libby pouted but grabbed a dish and the corner of the towel. "Let's get them done."

"It's all right, Libby," Esther said, reaching for another dish. "You go have your fun. I'll just finish these up, and then I'm headed to bed."

"Suit yourself," Ma said. "But remember, you ain't alone here. We're here to help you."

Esther nodded, but remained silent, her inner turmoil making it hard to fully accept the support offered by these women, who still felt like strangers. She stacked the last plate in the dish box and closed the lid. The box kept dirt and insects off the tin plates. Every bone in her body hurt from doing laundry and cooking. There was nothing she wanted more than to crawl between the covers and fall asleep.

"Whit! Tom!" Austin yelled from across the fire.

Esther turned, excited to see her pretend husband and his friend coming into camp. Normally, she was asleep when he returned. She knew he slept next to her at night, because she would see the indentation in the bedroll, but he'd be gone by morning. She noticed his disheveled hair and tired eyes, but she was just happy to see he was still alive. He had several days' worth of a beard growing on his chin and cheeks, but it didn't detract from how handsome he was.

He held a basket in one hand, and the other was open to embrace Esther. She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around him. He was thinner than when she first arrived. Kissing the top of her head, he handed her the basket.

"These are for you."

Esther looked inside and gasped when she saw fresh eggs. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, momentarily chasing away the shadows clinging to her heart. "How?"

"Whit is great at getting into chicken coops."

"You stole them?" Esther handed him the basket back. "I can't take these."

A flash of anger passed over Whit's face. "Why not?"

"The person you stole them from might need them to feed their family."

"We need to feed our family." He held his hand out. "This is our family now."

Ted walked up and looked over Whit's shoulder. "He paid for them, little missus. Told me it was some widow woman with a bunch of boys."

"Is it true?" Esther's expression hinted at a hint of skepticism.

"Would it matter to you?" He looked at her earnestly.

"It would."

"I paid for them," he said softly.

"Thank you," she breathed. The simple gesture warmed her more than she could express. Esther impulsively rose on her tiptoes and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. He turned his head, causing their lips to brush together in an unexpected, tender meeting. Esther gasped and pulled back, her cheeks flaming. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." she stammered.

Whit's eyes darkened, his jaw tightening. "Don't apologize," he said gruffly, handing the basket to Tom. Before Esther could react, he reached out and drew her into his arms. His mouth found hers again, more insistent this time. Esther tensed, every nerve in her body alive and tingling. His beard scratched her skin, and his hands were firm on her back. A low sound escaped her, and she felt him smile against her lips.

When they finally broke apart, both were breathing hard. Esther's legs felt weak, her head spinning. She stared up at Whit wordlessly. His eyes blazed with desire and something more tender.

The surrounding men erupted into whoops and hollers, but Esther paid them no mind. Her heart thudded wildly in her chest as she stared into Whit's blue eyes, searching for some sign of his feelings.

"Esther," he murmured, his voice low and strangely vulnerable. "It's time for you to go to bed."

"Why don't you come with me?" More laughs sounded around the fire. "At least until I fall asleep?" she added in a whisper.

Whit directed his gaze toward the group of men and proceeded to offer his hand to Esther, guiding her toward the tent situated at the rear of the camp. She endeavored to maintain her composure despite the hoots and hollers coming from behind them.

He graciously opened the tent, allowing her to enter before him. Once she had found her place, he followed suit, closing them in and sealing their intimate cocoon.

There was just enough light coming through the opening to allow Esther to see him. Slowly, he reached out and touched her face, softly tracing his fingertips from her forehead down to her lips.

"Hello," she murmured, a sleepy smile forming on her lips.

"Hello," Whit replied softly, brushing a stray strand of hair from her face before leaning to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'm so proud of you, Esther. You've been incredibly strong through all of this."

Esther blushed and looked away, muttering a quiet thank you.

Whit hesitated, unsure if now was the right time to tell her what was on his mind. "Esther, there's something I need to tell you..."

Before he could continue, Esther placed a finger on his lips, silencing him. "I don't want to hear it right now," she said softly, pressing her lips to his in a tender kiss. The kiss was filled with longing and tenderness. Was it possible to fall in love with someone after only a few days?

"I just want you to hold me."

"Of course. I love the feel of you in my arms."

She dozed until she heard someone call his name softly through the canvas. As Whit pulled away, a shiver ran down her spine, intensifying the weight of the unanswered questions engulfing her in the dark.

For now, Esther found solace in the small moments of connection and clung to the hope perhaps God had not yet fully revealed His plan.

"Lord," she prayed, "please guide me on this path and show me the way forward. Help me trust in Your plan and find solace in Your love."

With a heavy sigh, Esther pulled her paletot up to cover her, the coarse fabric offering little comfort against the chill of the night. Turning on her side she folded her hands under her cheek to use as a pillow. It didn't take long for her fingers to get cold, so she slid her hand under Whit's blanket. He didn't need it right now. Her fingers brushed against something hidden in the folds.

Drawing out a small book, she recognized it as Black Bess , the story Mrs. Arden had loaned her. She had forgotten all about it. How silly she was reading about adventures of outlaws, highwaymen, and young ladies who wanted more from their lives. Tears welled in her eyes as she clutched the book to her chest, the weight of her unspoken dreams pressing down upon her like a leaden shroud.

"Lord," she whispered through her tears, "please grant me the strength to face whatever lies ahead. Please help me find my way home."

She woke up as an icy breeze filled the tent, and Whit crawled on the bedroll next to her.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he said softly.

"It's all right. I was lightly sleeping." She heard Whit chuckle in the dark. "What?"

"I think everyone in the camp heard you snore."

Giggling, she rolled slightly to look over her shoulder at him. "I do not snore."

"Uh-huh. Roll back over."

Esther turned to face the tent wall, snuggling closer. She felt Whit put his arm around her in a protective gesture. He did nothing more than keep her warm and protected. His nose rubbed her hair, and he inhaled deeply.

"I missed you today, sweetheart," he murmured. Exhaustion was thick in his voice.

She listened to his breathing slow down, and she knew he was asleep. Tucking her hand around his, she placed a soft kiss against his fingers.

"I missed you too, Whit," she whispered in the dark. "Not only today, but every day." She closed her eyes, savoring this rare moment of closeness before he would inevitably be gone again in the morning.