Chapter 5

FIVE

If only the Eagle Eye contacts had a “looks could kill” setting. Shoot laser beams. At the very least, freeze assholes who refused to follow orders.

The gadgets of comic books.

She glared at Dec’s back as he marched away, shadows swallowing him up. He was a shadow. A goddamn spook in the most literal way.

This was why she’d wanted to get in and out before he and Spence had arrived, but she and Tessa had gotten waylaid by Bruce Lee—the man who ran the underground tunnels like his own personal sovereign state. Nobody went anywhere down here without him knowing about it.

Plus, Tessa had gotten pissy and forced Meg to message Dec with their location. Meg needed Tessa and her blueprints, and letting her down wasn’t an option. She had to play nice with Dec.

She’d bought Bruce’s silence, along with the aid of one of his runners, thanks to Tessa’s emergency fund. The woman carried an assortment of currency, jewels, and the latest in spyware sewn into her designer outfit, hidden in her thick hair, and strapped to various parts of her body.

The latest iPhone and a ruby ring that had to have cost upwards of three grand had swayed the infamous Lee to offer a deal: his tunnels were available for their use this once . If they needed the cover of them again, it would cost double.

Copy that and then some. If all went as planned, this was the one and only time she’d ever be here.

Since her plan had already headed south, thanks to the bear of a brute stalking off without her, odds were slim anything from this point on would go smoothly.

The awkward weight of Tessa and Spence’s stares made her skin itch. At least they understood and accepted the chain of command.

Yelling at Dec, who was the best thing she’d seen since everything went to hell, was pointless. He hadn’t ended up on Black Swan for nothing. She’d insisted he be one of them. Flynn, for once, had agreed with her choice.

Flynn always used terms like ‘dedicated,’ ‘quick on his feet,’ and ‘loyal’ to describe Dec. In Meg’s book, he was all those and more—uncompromising, defiant, and rebellious, bordering on mutinous.

He was also the most rock-steady partner she’d ever had. He never wavered from his values and beliefs. Predictable , she told herself, but maybe that’s a good thing.

Know your enemy was the first thing Flynn had taught her.

Know your friends was the second.

She wasn’t sure which category to put Declan Reid in.

Cussing him out might have made her feel better, but she didn’t waste time and energy on lost causes anymore. The bubbling brew of shit between them was a pressure cooker bound to explode. Soon, too. She’d take whatever he threw at her once they had the intel and found Tommy, provided he admitted to his own collusion in what had gone down that day with Hagar.

Sucking in her irritation, both at his defiance and the fact he looked so damn good, she met Tessa and Spence’s eyes, then jutted her chin at the map. “You heard him.”

Marching after her second, she left them scrambling to gather the equipment. They didn’t have much, didn’t need much, which was typical for their missions. The less stuff, the better. They had to move like cats in the night. Predatory cats. Unseen and unheard.

She jogged to catch Dec before the others could. “You can be an asshole to me all you want once we’re done.” Seething internally, she still managed to keep her outward expression neutral and unfazed. Her gaze pinned the beam spotlighting their way as they walked side by side. “But right now, I give the orders, and you follow them. Clear?”

His response was barely more than a grunt. “Don’t be stupid, Meg. You aren’t going in alone. You need me to watch your six.”

“Your alpha caveman may believe so, but I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my back, front, and all other sides of me. If things go wrong, I’ll call you in, but until you get word from me, you stand down. I don’t need to worry about you or them”—she cocked her head to the others, now a yard behind—“getting hurt.”

“Flynn told me after the funeral that you’d always bust my balls, but I thought you’d rise above it. Especially in a situation like this. Put the mission above personal feelings for me.”

Who was busting whose balls? They swung left, heading in the direction of the former embassy. A turn-of-the-century mansion had been converted into offices and dignitary quarters. The Architect, in her brilliance, had used a long-ago forgotten underground passage, much like the sewers, to connect it to the modern structure now being invaded. That was Meg’s way in.

And out.

She hoped. “Insubordination won’t be tolerated.”

He snorted, his long stride making it difficult for her to keep up. “Fuck that. This team has already lost one member. We’re not losing you, too.”

Her fingers went to the pendant at her collarbone. The one item she had that had been Jessica’s. Grateful that Flynn couldn’t see or hear them at the moment because they were underground, she still felt his judgment, as well as Jessie’s. Jessie had been a team player and too damn willing to die for her country—one of the reasons the CIA had tried to ensure she didn’t. Flynn had counted on Meg to keep her from sacrificing herself.

Meg had failed.

The tunnels were full of sounds that added to its haunting atmosphere. She wasn’t concerned with any of those or the ghost stories rampant in Romania about vampires lurking in the shadows. Jessica’s spirit, however, seemed to breathe down her neck. “That’s not only simplistic reasoning, it’s illogical. This situation and the previous one have nothing in common.”

One of the reasons Meg was good at her job was because she never assumed any fact was true. While it seemed contrary to logic, throughout history, people had assumed that a belief was fact and fact was reality. Facts were rarely what they appeared to be.

A mission that depended on something that hadn’t been verified with her own eyes left a lot of ways things could turn into a goatfuck. The tunnel to the previous embassy could have collapsed. The way in might be impossible to breach, even though it now sat empty. The underground entrance at the new building would definitely be locked and secured. Luckily, Tessa knew the security code—unless it had been changed in the past few months.

A dozen other variables could also cause problems.

Having Dec as her second had always made sense. He was the Holmes to her Watson—cunning, although impulsive, and he had the ability to outsmart everyone, with the exception of her. While she was OCD with details, he was quick on his feet and went with whatever presented itself. He saw the big picture; she broke everything into smaller parts.

She planned for every contingency; he didn’t feel the need, constantly adapting in the moment. He provided the team with any and all scenarios because she needed it, not because he did.

It drove her insane.

He drove her insane.

He pulled up short and faced her. “We’re the common denominator, Meg. The Black Swans.” He lowered his voice. “You and me.”

If not for the shadows, she would have sworn his eyes softened when he said it.

Her pulse quickened. Her heart squeezed.

You and me.

How many times had he said that to her during a mission? How many times had she silently repeated it back to him?

“We’re part of a team,” she corrected. “You need to remember that.”

“The way you’re acting right now suggests differently. It’s okay to rely on others, Meg.”

She sucked in a breath. Pinched the pendant between her finger and thumb hard enough to make it hurt. Relying on others meant giving up control. When had that ever worked for her?

The only person she could count on was herself.

But he was right there, alive and breathing, and she’d been so lonely…

So filled with grief.

Self-righteous anger.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, as if reading her mind.

She shoved at the grief and pain, a habit now. They reared their heads every day, and sometimes, it was an exercise in futility to stomp them back into that deep hole she’d dug for them.

But she’d had a lot of practice. “She counted on me. There’s no one else to blame.”

His expression tightened at that. “We both know you blame me for choosing you over her. Just admit it.”

Is that what he thought? In the beginning, yes, she railed at him, the horror of it too much for her to handle. She’d blamed everybody else, even though the therapist reminded her that the person who did the deed was Hagar. He was the killer, not her. Not Dec.

Not Flynn or the CIA.

Not anyone but the terrorist.

It had been meant as a lifeline that the doctor had thrown her, but no matter how she tried to grab hold of it, it slipped through her fingers. The voice in her head said differently, and taunted her every minute of every day. My fault. My fault. My fault.

“I should’ve figured out a way to get you both out,” he said.

For a heartbeat, the grief eased. A sensation she’d forgotten flooded through her.

She wasn’t alone.

He was here, and he understood.

Yes. He, out of all of them, understood. She and Dec had been there, had witnessed what had happened up close and personal. Had shared in the responsibility.

In the aftermath, he’d stormed in. Rescued her as Hagar’s death squad helped him escape.

Dec had covered Jessie’s body.

In the following weeks, Meg and Dec had tackled the debriefings together. He’d shown up each day for her PT. Had made sure she had groceries in her fridge when she finally went home.

Life. He’d breathed life into her again.

But the oily stickiness of grief would not leave her be. She couldn’t handle it. Guilt ate her up. She’d pushed him away. Channeled all of it into hate.

Hate for herself.

Hate for him saving her instead of Jessie.

As he moved closer, helplessness clawed at her throat and burned in her mouth. All the things she’d never said. Those emotions she had kept smothered down in that hole threatening to erupt. A sound came out of her mouth before she could clamp her teeth together.

He grabbed her arm and tugged her to him in an embrace. She froze. Through his jacket, she heard his heartbeat. Strong. Solid. His arms held her up, not allowing her weak legs to crumple.

Muscle memory kicked in, her mind flashing back to all the times she’d allowed him to embrace her. Had welcomed it. Her muscles relaxed, and her mind let go of the need to control.

Life— living —flooded her system.

She gasped in a deep breath.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered into her hair. “Like it or not.”

Tears burned in her eyes. Damn it .

He’d done it to her again. Reduced her carefully constructed barrier to rubble.

The sound of footsteps saved her. She blinked, pushed against his chest to put distance between them. “Yes, well.” She dashed at the tear that seeped from the corner of an eye. “Like it or not, I’m still lead on this. One person—me—in and out before anyone realizes it.”

Spence and Tessa caught up. “Like Sarajevo,” Spence said.

Meg nodded. A clean mission. One of the early ones and the best for BSD. They’d worked together seamlessly because everyone knew their role and stuck to it. “Exactly like that.”

“But I know the place like the back of my hand,” Tessa argued. “You need me to be your GPS.”

She wasn’t wrong, but there was no way Meg could risk it. Flynn hadn’t okayed her being part of this op and would kick Meg’s ass when she returned for involving her. Maybe that was precisely why she should take Tessa in with her.

Tessa pointed a finger at Meg’s face. “I see that light in your eyes, girl. You know I’m right.”

“Let me think on it.” They had nearly five kilometers to cover yet. “We need to keep moving.”

Two motorbikes waited at the spot Lee had agreed to. Meg hid her surprise that he’d come through but doubted either would start when she looked them over. Pure crap on two wheels. She tried the starter on one. It grunted, turned over, died.

Dec ran his hands over the engine, tracing lines to the brakes, gas tank, headlight. Those hands…she couldn’t tear her eyes from them, the way they caressed the bike like a lover.

Dropping to the ground, he fiddled with something under the engine she couldn’t see. “Give me some light.”

Spence bent and did so. Declan’s face was a mix of harsh illumination and thick shadows as he tinkered with something. He slid out and brushed his hands on his jeans. “Try it now.”

The tiny beast roared to life.

Still unsettled from his embrace and those words, Meg tried to block them out as he climbed on behind her.

She protested. “You and Spence take the second bike. Tessa rides with me.”

“Spence and I together on either of these might be too much,” he said over the engine noise.

“Yeah,” Spence agreed, helping Tessa on behind him. “But he’s at fighting weight, just so you know.”

He winked; Declan flipped him the bird.

Whatever that was about.

Throat tight, she ignored her pounding pulse as Dec’s muscled thighs framed hers. The tight fit forced him right up against her back. “You sure you don’t want me to drive?” he asked in her ear.

Unable to form a snappy comeback, she jetted off down the tunnel as her reply.

Away they went, headlights only creating enough brightness for them to see a few yards at a time. With one arm around her waist, Dec used his flashlight to pick up more. Concentrating was nearly fruitless. His lips next to her ear raised goose flesh on her skin as he issued directions. Her ass sat cradled between his legs. Her pulse raced as fast as the bike at the feel of him snugged up against nearly every part of her.

It’s only the mission .

Her adrenaline and pounding pulse could be explained.

She hadn’t been undercover in a year.

The last mission had gone to hell.

It was expected that she might be excited.

Yeah, right .

Blowing out a controlled breath, she forced herself to focus.

The five-plus kilometers to the embassy’s underground entrance was an obstacle course of people, trash, and junk. They stopped a hundred yards from the connection of the public tunnel to a smaller secondary passage, and left the bikes to hike the rest of the way on foot.

A large slab of metal was hidden behind a deserted pump station. The smell alone was enough to make her gag and hold her breath. No outside force could breach what appeared to be a wall from this side, but on the other side was a security-coded lock.

Tessa cracked her knuckles like a thief about to break into a safe. She trailed a hand along the left side of the metal jamb, eyes closed and lips moving in a silent conversation. Her fingers stopped. She tapped a section of stone. “Here.”

Spence yanked out a handheld device. “Give me a minute to access the system and?—”

Meg stayed his hand. Tessa drew them back, nodding at Dec. A good thief—a good spy—would take a careful approach, knowing if they damaged the security system, it would trigger alarms. Since this embassy was abandoned, there was no need for finesse. “Shoot it.”

He frowned. “The rock here has to be three feet thick, maybe more.”

“Nah,” Tessa said. “They drilled a hollow trench around the sides and top to run wires for the keypad and cameras. If you hit this spot,”—she pointed where her hand had just been—“the rock will shatter. It’s as thin as your phone.”

They covered their ears as he pointed his Glock at the spot. It took two bullets, but it did indeed shatter. The second one also blew a hole in the embedded square containing the locking system on the inside. He used a hand to knock bits of stone away, grabbed the box, and yanked it through to their side.

Spence pocketed his device and rubbed his hands together. “Come to Daddy.” He jerked wires from their connections and tapped their ends together as if hot-wiring a car. There was a spark, and the door slid open. His smile was triumphant. “Voila.”

Once they were all inside, he closed it up again and pulled the box through.

“Disable it,” Meg instructed.

He jutted his chin forward in that way of his, telling her he didn’t follow her logic. “What if we have to use this passage as an exit?”

“Our exit strategy is above ground.” She scanned the dark hallway. Nothing flashy, but at least it didn’t stink. LED lights were spaced at equal intervals. Cameras, too. Flynn and Del were undoubtedly tapped into the embassy’s video feed, so she waved. She hit her comm but only heard static. At least Flynn couldn’t yell at her.

Yet.

Spence’s chin stayed cocked, his brain ready to argue. Declan grabbed the box and jerked the wires out, severing their connection. “I’ll take the lead until we reach the entrance.”

He took off at a fast clip before she could pull a Spence and argue. She motioned for the others to follow him, suppressing an eye roll while she brought up the rear.

“The new embassy doesn’t have a weapons room,” Tessa told them. “My best option is to relieve one of the police officers of a rifle.”

“You find what you need and get to the building across the street,” Meg ordered.

“Roger, that,” she said as if she were about to go on a carnival ride. She may have left the Agency for quieter pastures, but the spy she’d been was still inside, hopping with excitement like a junkie who’d fallen off the wagon, anticipating their next fix.

Meg wished she felt that way. For her, all that buzzed in her veins was dread.