NATASHA

I win a reprieve of two days before I need to face Bear again. At first, Leon isn't impressed with my theatrics. He doesn't view the biker as a threat, so interrupting his routine feels like I've insulted him.

Leon stares at me while I babble in Czech, but I don't think he hears me. His mind is on Jacinda holding his finger. I can see how much it bothers him to allow her contact.

Behind me, Bear demands his deal, now and with no caveats.

"What do you want me to do?" Leon finally asks, gesturing for me to shut up. "If I send him away, he might not return. Your other options aren't particularly impressive. According to Maks, the Guillory family is interested in you. Well, not you specifically, but aligning with us. Do you really want to bring the French into our family?"

Leon's words make sense. He is rational while I'm spinning with panic. I should submit to his will, but I can't shake my fear. Pretending Siobhan is standing with me, I do what I imagine she would suggest.

"I'm afraid," I tell Leon who refuses to react. "I lived that small, quiet life for two years, and I figured I'd be there for another dozen. I wasn't ready to return to this world. I know you're right about who I should marry, but I'm still afraid and in pain."

Leon gives me the same disdainful expression wielded by our mother when I returned home. He views me as an embarrassment. I know I seem crazed. I feel that way. Marrying Bear is a million times better than a stranger from the Guillory family or Joey Del Vecchio or anyone else who might be interested in aligning with the Syndicate.

I'm just not ready to be alone with Bear. He'll seduce me without even trying. I can't trust myself around him. If I force my heart to forgive him too quickly, it won't stick. I'll spend a lifetime holding a grudge.

With a little time, I can adjust to my new situation. The first few weeks with Andrew were the most difficult. When he found me caring for his children after he woke from his drunken stupor, he asked me to stick around longer. Andrew wasn't a smart man, but he knew how to spot an opportunity. Once I was willing to live in his house and raise his kids, he wormed his way out of paying for daycare or worrying about their wellbeing. I became their sole caregiver.

Andrew didn't hit me in the beginning, but I still barely tolerated him. I found him to be annoying and immature. I hated how he didn't cherish his children. His family was obnoxious. Every night, I rested in bed with plans to run in the morning. The kids weren't my responsibility. I wasn't their mom. I could leave without guilt.

In the morning, I'd see their little faces and refuse to walk away. After a month, I no longer nursed plans of leaving. I simply settled into my new life and adjusted my expectations. I'll do the same with Bear if I'm given the chance to breathe.

Leon might think I'm behaving hysterically, but he loves me. My fears cut at him despite how little emotion he reveals.

That's why he puts his foot down with Bear. The biker considers pushing back. They're both stubborn men. Yet, Bear and Leon are essentially only disagreeing over a two-day wait. I see the exact moment when Bear realizes he's getting what he wants. His jaw unclenches, and he stops glaring at my brother.

Bear looks at me, and his blue eyes shine in triumph. I'm relieved by his response. Not only so he'll leave and allow me to get my head on straight. I also like how he views me as the prize he's claimed.

As much as my heart wants to freeze out Bear, he keeps engaging with the kids. I know he's trying to impress me with his "daddy skills." He's so obviously awkward with them, but he still puts in more effort than their real father ever did.

And he has cats! I don't know why his casual admission of owning two cats charms me so much. I suspect I'm dying to love Bear O'Malley. Anything he does will win me over. That's why I need more time to prepare for my new reality.

Once Bear rides off, Leon looks down at Jacinda still holding his pinkie. She notices his gaze and offers a sloppy grin.

"Why do they drool so much?" my brother asks me.

"The bad man dragged them across cheap carpet and burned their little lips. That's why they keep licking them. It's not something they usually do."

Leon frowns at me. "You shouldn't have stayed with him."

"I couldn't keep them if I left."

"You're keeping them right now."

I can't explain to Leon how I didn't want to be the reason Andrew died. My brother doesn't feel empathy or mercy like I do. He's been trained to put family and the Syndicate before his own needs. He lacks the softness allowed to blossom in Petra and me.

Yet, despite his cold heart, he can't seem to free his finger from Jacinda. I think he fears she'll cry. Showing him mercy, I ask Jacinda to take my hand.

She smiles at Leon and ditches him. His palpable relief makes me snicker. My brother frowns hard at me, but I'm not fooled.

"Thank you for helping me."

Leon exhales unsteadily and likely considers our positions in life. He longs to be like our father and older brothers. I'm just looking to take care of people and enjoy a simple life. Yet, underneath his hard exterior beats the heart of my big brother.

"Don't ruin this situation with the biker," he grumbles. "You assume you'll win leniency again if you fuck up, but our father's patience has worn thin."

"Are you kidding? Bear O'Malley is set on having me."

"God only knows why."

"Maks said I have a decent body under all my clothes," I say and spin around. "I'm a real looker hidden under a bad wardrobe."

Leon starts to smile, fights the urge, and fails. "You're an idiot."

"That's why you were always the captain of our pirate ship. I couldn't be trusted to keep us from running ashore."

Leon closes his eyes and inhales sharply. I can hear him mentally chiding himself for goofing around with me. Would Roman play this game? Yes, probably. He didn't mind tormenting me the other night about Joey Del Vecchio.

Opening his eyes, Leon surprises me by brushing his thumb across my bruised eye. "The biker is dumb and impulsive, but he'll worship you and keep you safe. Don't fuck this up."

"I won't. I just need to be ready."

Though Leon nods, he doesn't seem convinced. I suspect he wants to speak more, but he bails as soon as Petra and Laszlo arrive.

My sister wants all the gossip. As we walk to the horse stables, I explain my conflicted feelings toward Bear.

"Do you hate me for complaining when you were forced to marry a gangster from Ohio?"

"Of course. Don't you think I wanted someone sexy?" Petra asks and gently shoves me. "Instead, I was stuck with a Hungarian Fredo."

For the last few days, I've avoided approaching the topic of her daughters. When I stayed at the Arany estate years ago to help Petra during her difficult pregnancy, I noticed how Brandon's mother monopolized the girls' attention and often undercut my sister.

"Do you think Vica and Shari will visit this summer?"

Petra goes still. "Brandon doesn't want them in Banta City. The only reason we were able to visit over the years was because Tatínek insisted, and Brandon is terrified of our father. But if he doesn't have to face Viktor, he thinks he's the king of the world."

"So, the girls won't visit?"

Petra glances at Laszlo. "Brandon will take our son back eventually, too."

"No."

"It's the reason we're not divorced yet. Tatínek wants me to have shared custody. The Arany family refuses to let the girls leave Ohio. The lawyers are working out the situation."

"What do you plan to do once the divorce is final?"

"I figured I'd like a place of my own, but I'm enjoying spending time at home. I can't really imagine my future when I don't know if the girls or even Laszlo will be with me."

Hugging my sister, I wish I could strip away her pain and offer a clear future. Nearby, the kids pretend to ride horses around the stables. They're so happy, unaware of the ugly battles Petra and I have fought to protect them.

"I feel like it's a trick," I tell Petra as she runs her fingers across my bruised face. "I get the kids and Bear. I have what I want. It doesn't seem right."

"Why?"

Despite shrugging, I know the real answer. Instead, I say, "I feel like I betrayed a lot of people when I ran away."

Petra watches me and sighs. "Our parents babied you, especially after Michal died. It wasn't really their fault. You were so insanely cute," she says and strokes my cheek. "When Mom would dress you up for a function, I swear you looked like a life-sized doll. How could anyone tell such a precious creature no?"

"Were they terrible to you?" I ask, fighting a grin since I know her answer.

"They worshipped the ground I walked on. I was their first, and frankly best, daughter. I honored them with my very existence."

"You also married the man they chose."

Petra considers my words and shrugs. "Well, so will you. It just took longer."

"One month," I whisper, feeling out the words. "It always takes a single month to put it all together."

Petra smirks and glances around conspiratorially. "I can't wait until the boys start getting married off, especially Maks. He'll be a terrible husband. I hope his wife makes him cry."

When we laugh at the thought, the kids run over thinking they're missing the party. My sister and I stop gossiping long enough to lift our kids so they might pet the horses. We spend another half hour at the stables before we're summoned for dinner.

After cleaning up the kids, I change my clothes and try to seem more presentable. I've been wearing sweats to mealtime, which I know my mother detests.

Once I wear a flattering red top and black skirt, I arrive downstairs to find the hallway outside the dining room empty. No one is sitting down for dinner. The estate manager appears with a nanny.

"You are requested in your father's study," Elenor explains to me and gestures for the nanny to take the kids. "They will wait with their cousin."

Following Elenor to Viktor's study, I enter the deeply masculine space to find my father, mother, and siblings. Roman stands near the back window. Maks and Leon sit on two ends of the same couch. Petra rests in a chair, seeming unsure. Katja stands next to my father behind his desk.

Viktor soon walks to where my feet are planted to the ground. He brushes his fingers under my chin, seeming so loving. Yet, I'm cold with fear. My lower lip begins to tremble as I stare in my father's unreadable, blue eyes.

"Aunt Fred indicated the biker still wants to marry you. Leon indicated you've agreed to the former arrangement," Viktor says softly. Before I nod, he adds, "The same arrangement you broke when you fled two years ago."

I think to glance at Leon or Petra. Maybe my mother can help me explain. I even consider mentioning Ollie. However, my father's gaze acts as a tranquilizer, numbing my will to defend myself, let alone run.

My father's fingers slide under my hair, brushing it back off my shoulders, leaving my throat exposed. I lower my gaze submissively. Viktor curls his fingers under my jaw and forces me to look at him.

"If you run again, you will put a target on our family. Our enemies don't care about your big heart full of good intentions. They only smell weakness. If I look weak, the Syndicate looks weak. If we aren't strong, our enemies will attack. It won't only be you in danger. It will also be your brothers, sister, and mother."

Viktor steps aside and gestures at the rest of the family. "If you feel impulsive again and want to run away from the biker, ask yourself who you are willing to sacrifice to the altar of your fragile heart? Can you live with the guilt of putting a target on one of your brothers? Is your mother an acceptable sacrifice to be made? Have I lived long enough if it means you can flee from your responsibilities?"

My gaze washes over my family. We aren't warm like other people, but I love them. When I ran, I was acting on instinct. When I stayed in that dump with Andrew, I felt like any sacrifice was worth keeping my babies.

Tears spill down my cheeks as I lower my gaze. Even feeling guilty, I want to fight back against my father's accusations. I'm not the bad guy. I've suffered to protect the innocent, while my family gained power through spilling blood. Why should I be responsible for keeping criminals safe from other criminals?

However, I can't demand to be heard and respected by my family. They live by a different code. To have their protection, I'll need to live by the same one.

That's why I wipe my eyes and look at my father. "I'll put the family first."

"No running if the biker upsets you," Viktor says, leaning down to force eye contact with me. "If he wrongs you, come to the family. If you feel in danger, tell us. We handle family problems together. No one handles them alone. Do you understand?"

Nodding, I look to my mother to find her watching me with an appreciative gaze. She wants me to follow the rules and do right by the family. Petra spoke the truth earlier when she said our parents didn't like scolding me. They let me go to college and run around with Siobhan and Hunter. I think they maneuvered the marriage pact with the Backcountry Kings as a way to keep me close.

My parents don't shower me with praise or cuddle like Aunt Fred does with her kids. However, they are always aware of their children's situations and safety. They likely suffered knowing I was with a man like Andrew, yet they let me fail until I was ready to ask for their help.

"I want to marry Bear O'Malley," I tell my father. "I want to stay in town close to my family. I won't run."

Viktor gives me a little smile. "Aunt Fred wanted assurances before they agreed. She suffers fears over the biker's heart. Isn't that precious?"

Though he's clearly mocking Bear, I also sense he likes how my chosen husband won't be an ungrateful shit like Brandon Arany. Viktor is right to believe Bear will be loyal. He wears scars on his flesh from the battles he fought to protect the O'Malley family and his club. The man has a big, soft heart under his grumbly, rugged exterior.

And in only a month, I'll marry and claim that sexy beast for myself.