Chapter 13

It'slike someone pressed pause, rewind, and fast forward all at the same time. I feel like a teenager all over again, but my heart tugs toward Redd something fierce. I don't know what I want and can't speak past the emotion welling inside, so I stomp upstairs to my room.

The move feels like defeat, but I need space and time to clear my head. After Redd left with Blue earlier, I was afraid that was the last I was going to see of them. I feared the chapter closed and all I could see through my tears was a big blurry THE END.

But then he returned with my brother.

Seeing them together again made me feel like the third wheel. Like they were ganging up on me. I'm not sure which was worse when we were younger, being ignored or outnumbered.

The old me stews in red-faced embarrassment. The new me feels pouty. Neither knows what to do or how to reconcile the other.

I cry into my pillow before the rise and fall of voices filter up through the heating grate next to my bed. When I was a kid, I'd listen to my grandparents watch Magnum P.I. through the grate. I'm not sure I want to overhear what they're saying, but I also can't imagine this situation getting any worse.

Clancy apologizes profusely for being an idiot. Redd rubs it in, confirming that and much more, using words I assume he solely reserves for the ice.

"I was being selfish back then and now. Of course, I didn't want you or anyone dating my sister."

"Did you ever stop to think how that might make her feel?" Redd asks.

"No, I guess not."

"It's honorable that you'd want to protect her, especially from guys like me back in high school, but it was a heavy hand, man. Not only did that alienate her from meeting guys and having relationships, but it also pushed her far away from us. You do know how abandoned she felt, right?"

Redd couldn't have said it better.

"No, but?—"

"No, but nothing. If you can't make this right, then at least apologize to Whit," Redd grinds out.

There's a long silence. I imagine them having a faceoff like on the ice back in the day. There wasn't a referee when they'd go head to head in hockey, so they'd stare each other down until the other broke—most often it was Clancy.

"Wait a minute. Hold on just a second," Redd says.

I imagine Clancy backing away slowly because those sound like fighting words.

Redd continues, "You obviously knew your sister lived here, and yet you made the farmhouse sound like it was empty."

I stiffen. He has a point.

Another long silence transpires. If Kathleen were here, she'd have the vapors and need to recline on a settee.

"What was your angle?"

"There wasn't an angle, but I guess I liked the idea of the Cookie-teers being back together. What with me getting married and all."

"Clancy, you realize you're a grown man."

"But a lot is changing. I'm not having second thoughts about marrying Kathleen, I love her. But she's not the same as you two. We used to have so much fun. Leenie and I do too, but it's different."

"Yeah, things sure are different. I'd better go pack." The agony in Redd's voice practically makes me want to throw myself through the grate and into his arms.

His leaving isn't what I want, but how can I possibly trust him with his track record? What with that whole fool me once, fool me twice thing.

I have a big ‘ole heart tug toward Redd, but Little Miss Strong and Independent Woman within me pushes back.

More tears fill my eyes as I battle back and forth with myself.

But it's better than hearing Clancy apologizing profusely for being an idiot and Redd sounding like the most dejected and desperate man in the world.

The last thing I hear before their voices go quiet is Clancy speculating about how I found out.

Gormely and her big mouth, that's how. Somehow Sophia Snodgrass learned about my parents' stipulation of me finding a boyfriend before my brother could get married and passed it on to the biggest gossip in the town.

My heart wants to believe Redd. My mind has other ideas.

There's a knock at the door. My cheeks heat and my stomach jumps like I was caught by my grandmother listening to Magnum solve the latest mystery in Honolulu and save the day.

I don't answer.

The door squeaks when Clancy enters. The end of my bed gives a little as he sits down. I can tell it's my brother because he smells like the expensive cologne Kathleen likes and not Redd's distinct peppermint ice scent.

"Go away," I say from under my pillow.

"Whit, I want to apologize. I'm sorry for not talking to Mom and Dad like a mature adult, prepared for marriage, and letting them drag you into this. It wasn't fair for you. I'm also sorry for suggesting Redd fake date you in exchange for funding for the high school team. That was dumb and selfish of me."

I whip around. "And insensitive and arrogant and dumb." Realizing he said that, I repeat it over and over and over, digging myself deeper into a juvenile hole of sibling rivalry. "Dumb, dumb, dumb..."

He winces as my tone gets sharper, but doesn't get up and leave, a surprise since he had no problem turning his back other times.

Burying myself under my pillow again, I sulk. I don't want to act like this, but it's like four years of high school bitterness unleashes itself then retreats because, in the years since we graduated, I've grown up. Or so I thought.

My brother should be the one who wants to hide under a rock. Our parents should want to hole up in their house and not come out.

Everyone should feel as bad as I do. It's like they cut off the tree limb with me still on it. But instead of checking if I'm okay, they pointed and laughed, humiliating me.

Clancy grips my ankle and squeezes it. "Whit, for what it's worth, I apologize for being a jerk in high school. I'm sorry for everything that just happened too. You don't have to accept my apology, but maybe you could forgive Redd. Lately, I"ve been wrapped up in my own life, but I owe him a lot of credit. He's a changed man. I've never seen him so happy or committed to anything other than hockey. If I'm not mistaken, he loves you. Perhaps he has for a long time but never admitted it to himself, me, and least of all you."

The bed springs upward and my brother leaves the room, closing the door softly behind him.

I refuse to acknowledge either of them. I won't speak to my brother or Redd ever again. Forget about closing a chapter, I'm burning the book.

The end, goodbye, see you never.

From beyond my bedroom window, the SUV's tires crunch over the gravel driveway. I tell myself I'm getting up and seeing them leave for closure. But that tug in my chest just won't quit.

Dropping onto the chair, tears fall and I take off my eyeglasses. We had it so good, and now it's over. Nothing remains but a sad memory. I pull my old diary out of a box in my closet, ready to punctuate all the things I hated about James Reddford when I was sixteen, and then tear it up and set it ablaze.

His dumb face

The way he struts around

His stupid voice

How he smirks when he sees me like we have a secret

That he thinks I'd ever speak to him again

How he wears his Red Hawks Hockey hat backward

That he's a know-it-all

How his perfectly worn T-shirts drape over the muscles in his back

His peppermint ice scent

That he thinks he's too good to be my friend

But none of them are true anymore. They weren't entirely true then and definitely not now. It's more like I needed a target for my teen angst and Redd was it because even then I probably sensed the tension between us.

Actually, those are all the things I love about James Reddford.

I love him.

It's then I realize I'm being no different than Clancy was in high school—abandoning the people I care most about. My armor drops. The clouds part. The sun that was hiding for so long shines bright, unwilling to slink behind angst again. The teenager in me waves goodbye. I have a feeling that it's her I won't be seeing again.

My finger traces the words I Hate like they're code for the opposite. On a fresh page, I make a new list and title it Ten Things I Love About James Reddford.

I expect to hear the SUV return, but it doesn't. Dinner approaches and instead of staying in my room and sulking, I eat beans, fries, and broccoli. If Blue and Redd don't return, I'll have the leftovers tomorrow. I all but cry into my plate at that notion—about them not coming back, not the broccoli. We all have an appreciation for the cruciferous vegetable now, so long as there is a cookie waiting for dessert.

The sun begins to drop, taking my hope with it. I say goodnight to Elsie, Bessie, Cinnamon, and Walnut, feeling the sting of Blue's absence. When I return to the house, it's empty and so am I.

More than anything, I want to go to bed and not get up for a hundred years. Instead, I perfect my corn waffle chips and research ice cream recipes. No sooner do I put on Magnum, for old times' sake and background noise, Redd enters the house, carrying a very sleepy and a little smiley Blue.

He presses his fingers to his lips to indicate I not wake her. When they reach the steps, he goes still. I assume her eyes flew open. She cranes her head around his broad shoulder and then relaxes into his arms as if relieved to see that I'm home.

I can't imagine she knew what transpired between Redd and me, but Blue is perceptive and no doubt sensed a disturbance.

A few minutes later, Redd comes downstairs and drops onto the couch beside me where I'm taking ice cream-making notes. I click mute on the television.

This time, he says, "We need to talk."

"Those words felt a lot less scary when I was saying them. But if it's okay, I'd like to go first." Turning the pages in my notebook, I find the new list I made earlier.

Ten Things I Love About James Reddford:

His handsome face

The way he struts around

His low, rough voice

How he smirks when he sees me like we have a secret

That he thinks I'd ever ignore him again

How he wears his Nebraska Knights hockey hat backward

That he's a know-it-all

How his perfectly worn T-shirts drape over the muscles in his back

His peppermint ice scent

That he said we're best friends.

Redd's eyebrow lifts with curiosity, probably because my tone is a lot softer than it was earlier.

"All those years it seemed like it was always about you—at least as far as Clancy was concerned. Redd this. Redd, that. What I realize now is that it was always you—as far as I was concerned. I'm not sure when it started, or if it did before that kiss during the camping trip. But I never forgot it and regretted not letting you know how I really felt. I was scared then." I look up at him through my lashes. "I am now too."

Redd's chest lifts and lowers as if he finally let himself breathe.

My heart tugs toward him as I wait for him to say something.

"What if I want you and only you?" he asks.

I don't need to tell him my answer. I show him by shifting closer and nuzzling into a hug. His arms wrap around me, strong and dependable, a promise not to let go.

He kisses the top of my head and says, "Until recently, I didn't even know I had a sister. There have been so many changes in my life as of late that I almost don't know where to begin. But they've all been good, and the path I'm now on is the one I want to stay on for the rest of my life."

Redd tilts his head so we're eye to eye. I rest in his gaze, finding family there, finding home.

"I love you, Whitney," he says.

A smile pierces the shadows I've tried to hide in today, trying to break free from. "I love you too, James."

It's funny how we always used each other's full names to create distance between us and now when I hear my name on his lips, all I feel is intimacy.

His grin mirrors mine and he pulls me in for a kiss. Our mouths melt together as if there was never and will never be ice between us again. I'm warm all over and not only because it's a summer night, but because love—an emotion so powerful I almost don't have words to describe it—overwhelms me. The tug toward Redd intensifies as our kiss does.

His hands on me are sure and steady, just like him. He knows what he wants, and it's decisively me.

When we part, I say, "I never thought I wanted this," I wag my finger between us and then in our general vicinity. "I told myself I didn't. But it's more than I could have dreamed about. Our future together, and a family: you, Blue, and a dog."

"Well, you got me. I'm not going anywhere."

I rest my head on Redd's shoulder and a contented sigh escapes because this is what home feels like.

On Independence Day,I wake up before the sun rises and sneak out to the barn. It's going to be a long stretch of celebrating, culminating with fireworks tonight, so I try to be silent as I creep down the hall, not wanting to wake up Blue or Redd.

However, her door creaks open and her sweet little head pops out. "Please wait for me."

I could never say no.

Hand in hand, Blue and I say good morning to the cows. She milks Elsie and Bessie, chattering to them about how excited she is for today. I tend to Walnut and Cinnamon, thinking that if the ice cream is a hit, I'll need to expand operations. Believe it or not, Cobbiton doesn't have an ice cream shop.

When we get back to the house, Redd has coffee ready and is loading up Pippy. Baloo is our mascot and yaps happily as we set out for the annual 4th on 4th event.

"Does Baloo mind fireworks?" I ask when we pass the sign announcing the festival.

"Not if I'm holding him," Blue answers smartly.

Redd taps her nose. "Then you're the official Baloo babysitter tonight."

Given her old life, it's no surprise that Blue likes organization, a schedule, and clear instructions. But no sooner do we arrive on 4th Street at the designated spot for the Peugeot than Macy races toward us. The upside is that the two of them completely let down their hair when they're together, being silly and having sweet, innocent fun.

Blue chirps about what she's looking forward to most, listing all the items on her fingers. "The corn maze, the fifty flavors of Cobbiton, the big Cobbiton beach, the rodeo, talent show, the corn queen parade, the cornament, and polka. Wait, is that like polka dots?"

"It's a kind of dance," I answer, demonstrating.

Her laughter warms my heart.

Meg is helping out with the Junior Explorer Scouts table and waves as she approaches. "Thanks for letting us have Blue last week. It was just what Macy needed since her little brothers have been driving her crazy."

My cheeks tint because I was being so dumb about everything with Clancy and Redd.

"Macy found her BFF, that's for sure, and by the looks of things, Redd is going to fit right in with the team. That leaves you and me. I hear you leveled up the fresh milk offering. Word is I can be bought with ice cream." Her smile indicates that she's joking.

"I've never met anyone who can say no to my milk and cookies. As for the ice cream nachos, I suppose I'll let you try them."

We both laugh and I feel a new friendship blooming. Meg helps me finish setting up the Milk Mustache truck, including the awning, welcome mat, bistro table, plant, and selfie area—Blue's idea. We also have some branded merchandise for sale.

I give Meg a sample of the "Cornachaffles."

She's quiet while she chews. "I was going to say it's too early for ice cream, but on top of these waffle chips, I think I've gone to heaven. It's settled. I have a new BFF too."

We fall into laughter-filled conversation while the girls sit in the door opening at the back of the van, playing with their toy ponies. While Blue loves riding her bike, ice skating, and cows, Macy loves the same, but horses instead of bovine.

During these last weeks, I've chatted a bit with Meg, but we really connect as the rest of the town slowly sets up for the day ahead.

"Here's the deal. At the first game of the season, all the girlfriends and wives coordinate a big—" She tells me about the show of support tradition, but my mind caught on the word girlfriends.

When I see Redd striding toward me from across the street, I realize that's what I am, and he's my boyfriend. A happy little giggle comes out of me and my heart tugs in his direction.

Hearts must be beaming out of my eyes because Meg says, "Oh, wow. The two of you are going to melt the ice. We'd better watch out."

But I hardly hear her because my attention is on the man I once detested. I'd like to run into Redd's arms and have him sweep me off my feet, but a parade of young men march behind him—all wearing Red Hawks' hockey team T-shirts—in red—and blue and white Milk Mustache hats.

It strikes me as a funny fusion of Redd and me past and present.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Oh, just the high school hockey team, preparing to raise some money for the state championship?—"

"And beyond," Greg adds.

They lay out the plan to canvas the 4th on 4th event with coupons for Milk Mustache and raffle tickets that include various signed items donated by the Nebraska Knights.

Before long, the event is in full swing. Mr. Gormely honks as he passes in the Cobbiton Wagon. Artisans sell their handicrafts and trinkets, local businesses give demonstrations, and I hear the glass-blowing presentation is amazing. Their specialty is Christmas ornaments which gets me thinking about that holiday in the farmhouse...but I'm getting ahead of myself. The day practically flies by. However, I feel trepidation as the time for the Cornament draws near.

Blue and Redd return from a mission to find a custom apron for her just before I sell out of the ice cream corn waffle chip nachos, topped with ice cream, fudge, caramel, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.

"Looks like they were a hit," Redd says, remarking on the decimation of the stock and sundries in the back of Pippy.

"Couldn't have done it without you guys. Thank you!" I tip my head and nuzzle it against Redd's shoulder.

"We make a good team," he says, wrapping his arm around me.

"Go Reddfords!" Blue cheers.

Blue and Macy take turns helping me and the Junior Explorer Scouts table. Meanwhile, Redd and the Red Hawks' hockey team sell out of raffle tickets, raising several thousand dollars at last count.

Finally, around dinner time, we gather for the big Cornament. I present the portions of my cornachaffles I'd set aside for the judges, including Mrs. Linderberg. From the other end of the line of contestants in my division, Sophia eyes me warily.

While the judges debate among themselves, I go over to her. "Thanks for not minding your business," I say with as much sincerity as I can muster.

Gawking like she's experiencing a case of cornfusion, she asks, "What do you mean?"

"I know you somehow found out about my brother and Kathleen not being able to get married unless I had a boyfriend and then telling Mrs. Gormely." I haven't decided if I'm going to continue to bring her cookies. I might just deliver them directly to Mr. Gormely.

Sophia sputters. "It's not my fault I overheard your mother blabbing to Alice Neddley at her grandson's baseball game."

She didn't have to tell Mrs. Gormely though. I'm not sure who to be mad at my mother or this town, but I tell myself to take the high road—to show them I've changed which means they can too.

"I suggest we grow up and try to make this work." I wave my hand between us.

"I don't know what?—"

"Yes, you do, Sophia. My business is my business and my boyfriend is my boyfriend. I'm not the girl I was in high school and you're not going to walk all over me or try to humiliate me. Also, let me remind you that you have a daughter and husband of your own. You might want to set a better example."

She huffs and all but stomps her foot.

"Also, I saved you some cookies." I pass her a peace offering.

She glances at me as if not sure what I mean.

"Remember, two come in a package, and they're meant to be shared with a friend." It's kind of cheesy, but I extend my hand to shake. "Can we be friends?"

She stares at me blankly and before she can respond, the judges call for our attention.

Everyone has the opportunity to make a final appeal about their entry. Among our group, we have cornbread, tamales, a few others, me, and of course, Sophia's Corn Candy—as it turns out, not to be confused with candy corn. It's kind of like fudge-shaped into a cob.

She stands behind the microphone and says, "This is a competition and I'd like to win, but more importantly, this event has brought people together who," she clears her throat, "in the past may have been bitter rivals. Apologies were made. Forgiveness accepted. New friendships forged." She smiles in my direction.

Whatever happens next, I already feel like I won—not a battle or a war. Not even the contest but against my old self. The girl who was fighting for her place when it had been there all along.

However, when the judges announce my name for first place, I can't help my grin as I rush toward Redd and Blue, waiting in the audience. We share a family hug, and I don't want to leave their embrace.

So I don't. I bring them onto the stage with me where we accept the yellow ribbon. I have to admit, Blue looks beyond thrilled to be holding it.

She doesn't let it or Baloo go while we watch the fireworks after nightfall.

With the beach blanket spread out, we're among the rest of the residents of Cobbiton, a place I never thought I'd call home again, watching the sky light up with streaks and shots of red, white, and blue. With Blue and Baloo by our feet, I nestle into Redd's arms.

Between sparkles and sparks, oohs and aahs, I whisper, "I was afraid things would fizzle between us."

He kisses my cheek. "Nope. Nothing but fireworks for us from now on, Whitney."

He hugs me tight, filling me with gratitude that we both found our way home.

What's next?There are THREE epilogues, but first, if you want more from the Nebraska Knights, be sure to check out The Kiss Class, a reverse fake dating Christmas romance. Get it here.

Here's the description: I have a kiss hangover. Is that normal for the first time?

My love life is a big bah humbug. When a blind date goes bad, a Knight in ugly Christmas sweater armor swoops in and rescues me with a kiss in a very public way.

That wouldn't be a problem except Pierre plays for the team my father coaches and has a reputation for being the biggest flirt on ice. If you ask me, all hockey players belong in the penalty box.

Except, I wouldn"t object to a second kiss or lessons. Dare I say Pierre is a pro? Could have something to do with him being French Canadian. However, his rescue PDA lands him in trouble with the team.

We make an agreement: he teaches me how to kiss and I play the role of the girl he can't get over. For those of you not up against the glass, he pretends to be falling over his skates for me and I pretend to hate him.

Then a winter storm leaves us stranded and it's up to us to help save the Christmas Market. Seems like our game of fake-it is turning into a make-out. I mean make-it.

But what'll happen when the holidays are over and we go back to our real lives? I don't want to land on Santa's naughty list, so I won't tell a lie. Pierre had me at that first mistletoe moment. I just hope he feels the same.

This is a clean, sweet, closed door hockey romcom with lots of sweet kisses and a happily ever after.

Don't miss Cara Pierre's dating the coach's daughter romcom! Check it out here.