21. Dallas

Dallas

M y foot taps with nervous energy as I sit on Colt's couch and just wait. It's after noon already, and I still feel totally numb. I haven't been able to do much past getting dressed and coming out here into the living room to wait.

Chloe—God, she was so mad. I know how much she means to Colt. How much he loves her and worries about her. How can this ever be okay?

What was I thinking? I jeopardized his relationship with his sister. I'm such a selfish asshole. I can't believe I ended up hurting her and then him in the process. I'm a total disaster.

Last night was one of the best nights of my life, and then it all came crashing down as reality hit. I'm terrified Colt will come through that door and confirm she hates him. And how could he not hate me?

I can't let him lose his sister. And Christian—God, Christian.

He was crying so hard, just screaming his little head off. I could barely look at him, but the glimpse I got—he is beautiful. Truly beautiful, and if he's really sick—I can't allow myself to even think about it. Please let him be okay.

When I hear the door, my entire body goes rigid, and part of me just wants to run away so I don't have to see the hatred on his face. I don't think I can take it. I remain seated though because I owe him that much.

Colt walks into the living room, looking drained, walking straight to me and plopping down. He shocks the hell out of me when he pulls me into his strong arms, but I don't push him away. No, like the coward I am, I cling to him, breathing in his scent and closing my eyes, trying to commit this moment to memory. Holding on to when Colt was mine.

"Is he okay?"

He nods solemnly, looking totally worn-out from the long morning. "Just an ear infection. They got him fixed up, and he'll be okay." I feel instant relief, but then my other fears come roaring to the surface.

He said he loves me, but how can he? Maybe Chloe wasn't as mad as I thought. Maybe it's all going to be okay. But that's not usually how it works for me.

"Colt," I barely choke out as I hold onto him for dear life. "Is she angry?" I wince because I sound like an idiot. Of course she's angry. How the hell could she not be?

"Yeah. She's really upset. I'm not sure I've ever seen her so mad."

A tear slips from my eye, and I sniffle like a whiney baby because I know I'm losing him. "I'm so sorry. Maybe she'll let me talk to her. I can tell her I tricked you or... or seduced you..."

"What?" Colt snaps up, releasing me. Looking directly into my eyes, I see anger there. "No. No way in hell are you doing that."

"I can." I try to take a deep breath, hating the way he's looking at me right now and knowing it'll only get worse. "I will. Just please don't hate me. I can't stand for you to hate me. I lo..." I choke on a harsh sob, and he reaches for me again, his hands on each side of my face as he forces me to look at him.

"Baby, breathe." I didn't realize how fast I'm breathing until he says that, and I know I'm panicking. But I don't want him to hate me. "Dallas." His voice is softer now, calmer, as he breathes in and out slowly, allowing me to follow his lead. "Just breathe, baby."

I start to slow my breathing, my heart thumping a little less rapidly. "I'm sorry," I say honestly because I am so, so sorry.

"Dallas, you have to stop doing this. You can't take the world on your shoulders." He's still holding onto my face as I look deep into his eyes and see the pain there. Pain I put there. "This is not your fault."

My eyes widen in shock because he can't mean that. "Of course it is," I say angrily. "She wouldn't be mad at you if I wouldn't have..." I struggle. "If I wouldn't have..."

"What?" he asks softly. "Fallen for me?"

It's a sharp slice through my heart because yes, I've completely and totally fallen for him. I'm in love with him, but it feels like another thing I can't have. "Yes," I whisper, my eyes wet with frustrated tears.

"I'm in love with you too. I fell in love with you too. At least say we instead of I , but it doesn't matter," he says it slowly, like maybe I'm not getting it and truthfully, I'm not. Colt is an amazing man. He's strong and confident. I'm the last thing he needs in his life. "Listen to me," he says, still holding on to my cheeks. "None of this is your fault."

I start to jerk away from him and shake my head, but he holds firm.

"That coach getting fired was not your fault." I open my mouth to argue, but he stops me with a sharp look. "That coach was fired because he's gay, and that's the only reason. Do you hear me? They wanted a reason to fire him. Your mother gave it to them. He got fired because of the small-minded bigoted town."

I choke on another cry, feeling the urge to run. "I shouldn't have taken pictures."

"Of you having fun in a club? You were just being a kid. Yes, doing something reckless, but what teenager doesn't do that? Why can't you just forgive yourself for that? Give yourself some damn grace."

I can't tell if he's mad at me or just angry with the entire situation, but it doesn't ease my guilt. "It doesn't matter. He was still fired. He had to leave because of me. I outed him."

"You didn't." His hands move to my shoulders, but his hold on me is still firm and sure. "You didn't, Dallas. You have to stop blaming yourself so much. I get it. I really do. You were raised to hide a huge part of yourself—to feel ashamed—by the people who should have loved you the most without any judgment." A tear slides down my cheek without my permission, thinking about my parents.

"Why wasn't I enough for them?" I sob softly. "I tried so hard to be good enough for them."

"You are good enough, baby." He pulls me to him now, and I let myself be wrapped up in his strong arms. "You are. They aren't. They failed you. Not the other way around. You have to stop taking the weight of the world on your shoulders. Yes, you got really drunk and slept with someone who was also really drunk, and that resulted in a baby. But you didn't mean to hurt anyone. You have never meant to hurt anyone."

I sniffle and hold onto him. "I did though. She was all alone through all of it. And now, she's going to push you away and be even more alone. Because of me."

"No." Damn, he's stubborn. "Dallas, look at me." I lean back enough to look at his face. "I love you." The words hit me straight in the chest. I never thought I'd hear them from anyone. But looking into his eyes, I see how much he means it. "I don't want to choose?—"

I start shaking my head violently at that though. "What? No. I would never make you choose. Never." The thought of that is so preposterous, I laugh hysterically in short little gasps that make me feel like it's almost not real.

He starts rubbing my back, and I realize I've started gasping for air. "Breathe. Please, Dallas. Breathe." I close my eyes and listen to his soothing voice. "Breathe." I do as he says and slow down my breathing, pulling in strong deep breaths, then letting them out over and over until I'm finally steady.

"Colt." I barely manage to say his name out loud.

"Shh, baby." He rubs my back still, his voice solid and calm. "I know you would never make me choose. I'm saying if Chloe does—which just for the record, I really don't think she will—but if she does..." He's still holding onto me, but he moves so he can look into my eyes. "I'll choose you. It's not even a question."

"W-what?" I gasp. "No."

"Shh," he shushes me again and hugs me close to his warm body. "It's not going to come to that. I know her. She's mad—madder than I've ever seen her—but she's smart, and she's kind. She'll take the moment, and then she'll understand." He kisses my temple. "I'm in love with you, and no matter what, you're it for me. And if that's too much for you to handle or you need more time..."

"No." I quickly scramble to look at his face, desperate and needy. "No. It's not too much for me. You're it for me too, but..." My entire body is shaking, but I force myself to go on, "I love you so damn much, Colt, but I can't come between you and your sister. Promise me you'll try to work it out with her."

He smiles, his hands moving up to grip my face in that insanely comforting way. "I will. I promise I will. It's all going to be okay. Trust me?"

I nod my head instantly because that's the easiest question. I trust him with everything. "Yes. I do." I kiss him hard, my lips pressed against his with intense need. I thought I'd lose him for sure. That he would blame me, but we're both still here.

He kisses me back with vigor, and it takes all of two seconds before the kiss turns heated. We move to the couch where I straddle his lap, kissing him hard, afraid to let go.

"Need you," I gasp, ripping his shirt off over his head, and mine quickly follows.

"We have time," he says, but I'm already working on unfastening my jeans and trying to work them off.

"No time. Need you now. I want to feel you inside me again." Nothing has ever felt as good as when he was inside me, and now that I know I'm not losing him, it's all I can think about.

"Okay, baby," he says, his hands running over my back and up and down my sides. He's kissing me, but I make a grunting frustrated sound when I can't get my jeans off. I swear I hear him chuckling, but I'm too far gone to care.

I stand up and quickly shuck the rest of my clothes, looking at him expectantly, and he does laugh this time.

"Colt." I'm not proud of the whine that comes from my mouth, but again, I don't really care about anything in this moment other than getting him inside me.

He stands up slowly, reaching his hand up to my face and stroking over my cheek. "So beautiful."

"I'll be a lot more beautiful with your big cock stretching me out," I quip, and I swear he nearly chokes on his own spit. Good. He kind of deserves that.

"Jesus." He grins and kisses me softly, but thankfully, I can feel his hands moving south. There's rustling, and his jeans and underwear are finally off. But he grabs something out of his pocket before tossing them.

I realize quickly it's lube and waste no time attacking his mouth again and tackling him to the couch, moving back to straddle him.

"I love you so damn much," he says with so much sincerity, it makes my heart skip. I slow down then, taking the moment to soak this in.

He loves me . I can't believe it, but I'm trying to. I want to believe it. It's what I've hoped for, for so damn long. It's all I wanted—to be loved—and when I thought it would never actually happen, I sort of shut down.

But then he came into my life, and he loved me.

I kiss him softly. "I love you too. More than I ever thought possible."

He smiles sweetly. "It's going to be okay. No matter what, it's you and me now."

I nod. "Yes." I kiss him hard. "Now fuck me already."

"So fucking bossy," he jokes, but he's already opening the lube and squirting it in his hand before he wraps it around both our cocks, stroking with such delicious pressure, I nearly come.

"Oh God. So good," I say as I place my hands on his chest and thrust against his slick shaft. I feel his other hand moving down my crease before a well-lubed finger seeks out my hole, circling around it. Teasing me. "Yes. Please. More."

He kisses me with vigor, his tongue stroking over mine, making my balls tighten with the need to release before finally sliding one finger inside me. I'm still relaxed from last night, but it does sting a little from being well-fucked.

"You sore, baby?"

"No. More," I say stubbornly, trying to ride his finger, needing him. "Please."

"I love that you're not afraid to tell me what you want." He adds another finger, and I hiss at the burn, but it quickly turns into a moan when he strokes over my prostate.

"Yes. Fuck. Your cock. I want your cock. Now."

"Give me a second. I don't want to hurt you."

I shake my head, my hands digging into the skin of his shoulders. I marvel at how firm his muscles are. "Won't hurt. It feels so good."

He's released our cocks now, making me whimper and nearly go feral when he pulls his fingers from my body. I'm about to throw a huge bitch fit, but thankfully, he only urges me to move so he can position his cock at my hole.

"Oh, thank fuck."

"Take what you need from me," he says, releasing his cock, leaving it notched at my entrance as his hands move to my hips.

I sink down on him, making us gasp in unison.

"Slow," he says, leaning his head back, the chords of his throat pulled tight, and I know he's fighting his pleasure. That just won't do.

"Can't," I say, sinking further onto his thick shaft. "Need you too bad." His cock slides further inside me as I hold onto him. It's pure bliss, and he remains still, laying his head back. He looks like he's in pain. "No. Don't do that. Look at me." He lifts his head, his eyes locking with mine. "Fuck me," I say, and he leans forward, stealing my lips with an earth-shattering kiss. "Move with me."

Finally, he unleashes, thrusting into me as I push back against him until he's fully seated inside me. "Nothing has ever felt so good."

"So good," I agree as we move together. My cock is leaking profusely between us, my balls are full, and my hole is stretched by his perfect cock, which is nailing my prostate with each skillful stroke. I know it won't be long, and I'm here for the ride.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him hard, my tongue teasing his before I nip at his sweet, plump lips. It's urgent and needy, but no less beautiful as we both climb toward our orgasms.

"Yes. I'm gonna come," I say as his cock hits my prostate, and I can't take it anymore. We aren't kissing anymore, just panting and grunting together before my body goes rigid, every muscle pulled tight, and I let go. The orgasm washes over me, cum spilling everywhere between our entangled bodies. And a moment later, I feel his cock jerk inside me before the heat of his release fills my channel.

"Goddamn, I love you," he says against my lips, and I grin. I collapse against him and love it when he wraps his arms around me. Just holding onto me.

Please never let him let go.